Konnichiwa!
rinrinchan
Posts: 5
Hello everyone. Stephanie here, 24, French Canadian. Nice to meet you. ^^
I hope I can do this... I've had serious self-esteem problems (to the point of hating myself and wanting to die) since I don't even remember when. I've tried dieting all my life, it's always yo-yo, and I'd finally come to terms with that, since I know it's not sustainable. I'd been working out and eating healthily for maybe two years or so. I'd lost about 20 pounds, from 155-160 to 135-40...? But also, I was in decent shape, like never before. Now I'm living abroad teaching English in Japan and before leaving I allowed myself to indulge a little more (and even now, I didn't want to limit myself too much, and enjoy the experience as much as possible)... but it's getting out of control and I've managed to gain back about 20 pounds that I'd lost. Getting here, it was pretty tough at first, what with feeling homesick and dealing with the culture shock. My job puts me under close scrutiny and now that I've gained some weight, I feel extremely self-conscious and bad, and I just want to disappear whenever people look at me. It's not what people say or how they look at me, I get complimented a lot, but being here in Japan where appearances matter so much and where most people are skinny and beautiful does not help one bit... It's what "I" think and how "I" feel. And how I feel is NOT GOOD AT ALL.
I try to control my hunger, and whether it's true or all in my head I can't tell anymore. Stuff like brushing my teeth doesn't work, and I'll do things like eat foods on their own, peanut butter from the jar, you know... I can eat pretty much anything. I just love food that much, and I don't want to stop eating because it makes me miserable, as I truly enjoy eating. But at the same time, I want to lose back that weight (and then some), if I can. I have a very bad case of sweet tooth and a strong appetite, and although I do exercise I always manage to eat it all back. And even when I'm not hungry, which does happen, I just wanna eat all the time.
As for exercice, I like yoga but I suck at sports, so walking/bootcamp workouts are mostly what I do.
Whether I'm hungry or I've had too much that day, both make it impossible for me to focus on anything else. But emotions and stress also affect my hunger and/or eating behavior for the worse, so it's a never-ending cycle.
I think this is my 1000th MFP profile.
Every time I start overeating or failing I delete my account and start over. (U_U)
As we say here, よろしくお願いします (yoroshiku onegaishimasu - nice to meet you, please take care of me).
Stephanie
I hope I can do this... I've had serious self-esteem problems (to the point of hating myself and wanting to die) since I don't even remember when. I've tried dieting all my life, it's always yo-yo, and I'd finally come to terms with that, since I know it's not sustainable. I'd been working out and eating healthily for maybe two years or so. I'd lost about 20 pounds, from 155-160 to 135-40...? But also, I was in decent shape, like never before. Now I'm living abroad teaching English in Japan and before leaving I allowed myself to indulge a little more (and even now, I didn't want to limit myself too much, and enjoy the experience as much as possible)... but it's getting out of control and I've managed to gain back about 20 pounds that I'd lost. Getting here, it was pretty tough at first, what with feeling homesick and dealing with the culture shock. My job puts me under close scrutiny and now that I've gained some weight, I feel extremely self-conscious and bad, and I just want to disappear whenever people look at me. It's not what people say or how they look at me, I get complimented a lot, but being here in Japan where appearances matter so much and where most people are skinny and beautiful does not help one bit... It's what "I" think and how "I" feel. And how I feel is NOT GOOD AT ALL.
I try to control my hunger, and whether it's true or all in my head I can't tell anymore. Stuff like brushing my teeth doesn't work, and I'll do things like eat foods on their own, peanut butter from the jar, you know... I can eat pretty much anything. I just love food that much, and I don't want to stop eating because it makes me miserable, as I truly enjoy eating. But at the same time, I want to lose back that weight (and then some), if I can. I have a very bad case of sweet tooth and a strong appetite, and although I do exercise I always manage to eat it all back. And even when I'm not hungry, which does happen, I just wanna eat all the time.
As for exercice, I like yoga but I suck at sports, so walking/bootcamp workouts are mostly what I do.
Whether I'm hungry or I've had too much that day, both make it impossible for me to focus on anything else. But emotions and stress also affect my hunger and/or eating behavior for the worse, so it's a never-ending cycle.
I think this is my 1000th MFP profile.
Every time I start overeating or failing I delete my account and start over. (U_U)
As we say here, よろしくお願いします (yoroshiku onegaishimasu - nice to meet you, please take care of me).
Stephanie
0
Replies
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Hajimema****e!
I'm Tara, I'm 25. I feel your pain. I've never felt comfortable in my own skin, been up and down with my weight. I've never been to japan but it's really cool that you're teaching there! I'd say I know a decent amount about the culture, so I understand that there is a lot of pressure there, conformity is a big deal. If you'd like to be friends, feel free! My diary is open.
I'm just a big nerd haha ^^0 -
Moshi moshi!
My name is Sam and I am 21, turning 22 in about a week. I have battled with my self-esteem for as long as I can recall as well. It is very hard to be comfortable with your body in this generation.
Feel free to add me. I'll give whatever tips I can and we can help each other through this. Let's make this your last mfp account! 0 -
Tara: I'm a nerd too! Sure helps making friends with the students! I don't have any teaching experience besides what I'm doing here and I'm a naturally shy/nervous person so the transition hasn't been easy but I'm learning. Thank so much! Added you.
Thanks Sam. It's amazing to have people understand what you go through. ;A; I'll do my best too! (Running out of usernames XD)
Thanks both of you for reading!
(Edit: Sam, just checked your profile and our interests are basically all the same hahahaha)0 -
Hey Steph,
To control my hunger I actually eat hard boiled eggs. I have about 4-5 throughout the day. 2 with yolk and 2-3 without and dip it in sriracha sauce. I find myself less hungry and not to over indulge. Hope that works for you!0 -
Hey Stephanie,
First of all, welcome back. I hear where you coming from, controlling the appetite is a problem for me at times too, esp since I work graveyard shifts. I have been to Japan myself, well Okinawa...and yes the food is amazing. I keep snacks on hand for when I feel hungry, carrots and greens mainly. Well I hope ya stick to it and Good Luck!!!0 -
Hey there! It's true that they seem to fill me up a lot... I like mine with ketchup. :P Should make it a habit to have them every morning or so... Thanks for the reminder.
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Stupid delicious Japanese food. And I thought I could escape sweets... Japan is a NIGHTMARE.
It's crawling with them. Thanks everyone really. :') I appreciate it. Now I feel motivated! This time I'm not going to mess around. 0 -
Hajimema****e!
OMG, that is so funny!!!0 -
Konnichiwa!
I am currently teaching English in Japan as well. Living in Japan, I have lost a lot of weight due to all the walking that you will be doing. You can do it!
Good luck and welcome!0 -
Welcome! =^_^= . so far so good, not letting past slip ups hold u back is an important part of the whole process. You will find all the motivation you need as well as lots and lots of helpful information, along with some pretty delicious recipes that will keep you satisfied and on goal for whatever dietary plan you choose on this site. I have faith that this time you will stick to it and before you know it you will achieve all of your goal and be looking in the mirror like "ohhh yeah! im Super Ultra Kawaii Uguu Desu Desu Nya" *sorry i dont really know japanese :-( * Stay motivated! we are all behind you.0
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Oh MFP, by the way... Censorship: you're doing it wrong. XD
Yeah, I walk a lot, I just have to stop pigging out. XD
Yosh! Ultra-mecha-kawaii-modo ON! Time to kick some butt!
Thanks, everyone, you're awesome. (^^)0 -
looooolHajimema****e!
OMG, that is so funny!!!0
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