Why do I keep sabotaging myself??

v_wich86

I have had a really hard time losing weight, my work schedule and home life has been so crazy that regular exercise and healthy diet were too difficult to maintain. This past week though I started a new job with more reasonable hours and I had time to go to the gym. It's like my life is finally permitting me with the ability to get a healthy life style on track, and because I had such a good week I had fast food on my lunch break. Then today I had fast food for lunch and dinner, and cupcakes for breakfast and snacks.... I know. No body needs to tell me how bad that is. I feel gross. I wasn't that hungry, and I wasn't craving something unhealthy. It's like I felt like I was on the verge of breaking my bad habit and I got cold feet. Like I was nervous to be healthier, or afraid of feeling empty if I lost weight.... I don't know how to get past this feeling. I genuinely want to lose weight, and I'm not going to stop trying just because of today. Has anyone else had this problem or feeling? If so, what helped?

uconnwinsnc

I've been in the same rut for the past few months. Little progress, fluctuating +-3 pounds each way. I'll eat well during the day and then meh...eat more when I am not hungry and wonder why I did it.

Obviously I should be taking my own advice right now, but I have succeeded only due only to having a serious desire to do the best I can every day. The goal is to be 100% conscious of everything you put in your mouth. Mindless eating is the biggest killer of progress. You need to really recognize what you are doing and find a way to stop it before it happens. Once in a while you can use the excuse, "Oh well, it happens." But there starts a time when it has to not happen anymore. Time for you to stop.

Kassidi21

Sounds like my life.. If you want someone in the "same boat" for support feel free to add me...

2essie

Yes, I can relate to that. In my case I think I was just scared of losing weight, although there was no specific thing I was scared of. I wasn't worried what I would look like, just scared of losing it. I can't really explain the feeling, and like you I kept sabotaging myself. I would do a couple of days at best and at worst half a day then go and eat just for the sake of it.

I can't really tell you what prompted me to get going and do it. The main thing was I found MFP, made some friends and started logging and weighing everything. I was then more scared of letting my friends down than being scared of losing weight. I had one particular friend who pulled me up on everything if I put a foot wrong and that kept me going. I suddenly really wanted to do it for me and for them. So, here I am almost 50lbs lighter.

I like your attitude too. You say you are not going to stop trying and I hope that is true because one day, when you are really ready, your mind will say 'Do you know, I can do this'. That is when you will do it for you and lose those pounds.

I am glad I made the break from being scared. It feels good to lose it and to wear nice clothes again. It feels good to go up and down stairs without my knees hurting and now when I eat something that wasn't planned it is not because I am scared any more, just because I am human and I make mistakes, but when I do there are my friends in the background urging me forward and encouraging me to do better.

Keep going and keep trying. Hope this helps a little.

Dallymomma

I have had a really hard time losing weight, my work schedule and home life has been so crazy that regular exercise and healthy diet were too difficult to maintain. This past week though I started a new job with more reasonable hours and I had time to go to the gym. It's like my life is finally permitting me with the ability to get a healthy life style on track, and because I had such a good week I had fast food on my lunch break. Then today I had fast food for lunch and dinner, and cupcakes for breakfast and snacks.... I know. No body needs to tell me how bad that is. I feel gross. I wasn't that hungry, and I wasn't craving something unhealthy. It's like I felt like I was on the verge of breaking my bad habit and I got cold feet. Like I was nervous to be healthier, or afraid of feeling empty if I lost weight.... I don't know how to get past this feeling. I genuinely want to lose weight, and I'm not going to stop trying just because of today. Has anyone else had this problem or feeling? If so, what helped?

I understand how hard it is to get into a healthy routine and the mental side of it, trying to get pumped about loosing weight. I really want to, but before having a baby, I never had to worry about my weight since I couldn't gain a pound so I ate more fatty foods. Trying to change things is hard for me, especially with a new baby. I don't have time, don't want to give up good flavorful food (I seriously love food), and don't really know where/how to start.

Things I've found that work for me, so far (today is 1 week since I started MFP):
Drinking a lot of water, specifically a glass before every time I eat.
Allowing myself some junk foods and trying not to feel guilty when I overeat or eat unhealthily. Tomorrow is another day.
Set easily reachable goals (1lb/week for me).
Try to get in plenty of protein so that I feel full longer.

It might be easier for you to cook enough for multiple meals when you have time to cook and then bring them to work? Also, some fast food isn't as bad. I'm sure you could google ideas or look on here.

Halziees

Here is my advice, for whatever it is worth… First step, don't beat yourself up. You are human and food is good. Especially foods that are less than healthy. I mean, we only live once (that we know of), and you cannot TRULY expect yourself to always eat "clean". So I would say start by really cutting yourself some slack. You know it's not the best way to eat, and you're working on being healthy more than you're working on eating junk.

Second, sometimes I think our bodies just crave junk food. Whatever your reason was, be it physical or emotional, it had a place. Regardless, you ate it, it's water under the bridge. Just enjoy the memory of how yummy it probably was.

Lastly, just like someone can't become fit from a few days of eating salads and exercise, you are NOT going to become out of shape or overweight from a few days of fast food.

Overall, I guess what I am saying is… it's okay to falter. I don't think it is you sabotaging yourself (but I do think that beating yourself up and getting into a cycle of negative thinking WILL sabotage you). You said it yourself, you want to get healthy. I would believe that little voice in your head, and not the negative one.

v_wich86

Thanks guys, this advice is all very encouraging and I fully plan on using this motivation to try harder this week. I signed up for MFP a while ago but I dont think I ever really took advantage of all the support on here. Thanks again for helping me feel like not so much of a failure, and also helping me see that I do need to just stop at some point. You all are awesome!

TheFitHooker

Know that feeling all to well.

Basically, you just have to look that fear in the face and tell it to shut up, your mind is still in control, you have to tell it who's boss and then you have to flex your will power and just do what you want the most. It's normal. I still struggle with this, I lost 133 lbs and gained 10 cus I got comfortable and let work get in the way, got a new job that gave me hours that I could work with, still not back at my original 117 lbs. However it's ok to let loose once in awhile, and you can't beat yourself up for doing so, but as long as you don't do it every day.

I've had to place stickers on my fridge that read "What do you want most in life, what you're craving now or that body?" and "is what you're about to eat going to help you or hinder you?" and that helped a lot.

JesterMFP

Look at what "healthy lifestyle" means to you at the moment. Are you trying to change too many things all at once? Are you telling yourself you have to cut out eating all the foods you actually enjoy? That's a sure-fire way of making your brain rebel and want to eat all those things. Start with the calorie deficit. Keep it simple. Track your foods, hit your calorie goal and go from there.

Whatever changes you make to your diet - make them small, gradual... things you know you can easily stick to. Don't say "right, that's it, no more junk food, no more cupcakes, only skinless chicken and broccoli for me". Fit the foods you enjoy into your diet. Start looking at the other nutrients listed in your diary. Are you getting enough protein? Are you getting as much fibre as you would like? Start making small adjustments. I'm not saying eat fast food all day, but I'm saying that these habits are so ingrained, it's really hard to change them overnight. Take baby steps, and you'll probably find that the balance of your diet changes without you even really noticing. My diet is completely different now to when I started MFP, but it's only happened gradually.

Diets fail because people feel too restricted and they inevitably fall off the proverbial wagon. I disagree that you have to develop will power. I think will power is overrated. Yes, of course, some degree of self restraint comes into it, but you need to create a lifestyle that you can live with. If that means a cupcake every day, or a cupcake once a week, or whatever, then so be it. Meet your calorie goal first, get comfortable with that, and then make tweaks and adjustments until you're happy with the balance of your diet.

As for the mental aspect, and fearing losing weight - that's not uncommon. Just do your best to address these issues as you go along. Look at why you fear/worry about losing weight, or why you fear changing your habits. Don't forget that you don't have to lose it all at once. It's not all or nothing. Try not to put a deadline on it. If you lose 15 lbs and feel a bit uncomfortable with it - try maintaining that weight for a while until you get used to it. Losing some of the weight and getting more active will be very beneficial to your health, even if you decide you don't want to lose any more. And if you don't feel you can sort all this stuff out yourself, don't be afraid of getting some professional help in the form of therapy or counselling. There's no shame in that. A lot of people struggle with the mental aspect of losing weight, and sometimes it helps to have an outside perspective on it.

v_wich86

Mucho graci! You all seem to know where I'm coming from and that really helps. Is it ok with everyone if I ad them?

Halziees

re: adding me… for sure