In need of some guidance...

absie107

So... up until this past month, I've been doing really well with stuff. I joined this site in May, but had lost weight before that. I'm 5'3" and my highest weight was around 162 or 163 in high school, when I was in size 13-14 pants and I hated life.

Well, I went to college, lost 10 pounds, and lost another 10 since May. I'm now 141-142. I began working out WAY more since this year started, as in nearly every single day for at the very least 30 minutes, sometimes an hour. I have this issue where I can't stick to my original lifestyle changes. I often stray from normal eating habits, then have a couple of days where I am conscious and eat well, followed by a day where there is a sorority event or something that I can't control myself at, and I eat cake or whatever is there and just say, well, it won't make much of a difference.

But I've been at 140-142 for a month straight, maybe more. Despite running more and working out harder and eating right more times than not, I've been here for over a month. My jeans size is now 8 as opposed to 12 or 10, but I still feel fat. I feel flabby and gross and though I wish all I could concentrate on was how I ate and savoring my food and all of the things I taught myself to do this summer.. there's reality. There's me getting 6-7 hours of sleep a night as opposed to 8 or more. There's having several classes and activities daily. There's convenience food, the same old foods that are healthy for me to consume. There's me not knowing exactly how much yogurt is in my smoothies or how much frozen fruit or what kind of what the calories are.

I'm stressed, and I've been stressed. On top of that, I still can't manage to get over a guy I've been crushing on for over a year for whatever reason, and part of me feels like the reason I can't get ANY sort of date or any guy who I find attractive to find me attractive/dateable isn't who I am on the inside. It's what I look like... my weight... I'm not as thin or fit-looking. I lost 20 pounds but I still don't feel good enough for myself or for anyone else. My legs and stomach and arms still jiggle.

Then today... because I didn't want to give myself a stress fracture from running so much... I didn't work out. I mean I did Tai Chi like usual but no running or anything. I told myself to just eat when I was hungry and not stress. And what do I do? I completely destroy an entire box of these whole grain ginger cookies. I eat a smoothie and egg whites, a granola bar, some vegetable soup, cereal, a bit of chocolate, some fish... I can't believe myself!!! Why am I not being mindful!? How can I eat like this today?! I feel somewhat sick but at the same time I just keep eating because it tastes good.

I'm definitely at a weight loss plateau. My body shape has changed but now it is static. I'm having a lot of trouble sticking to eating well every day when there are so many events with food that creep into my schedule. Please... if anybody has any tips that can help? I still want to lose at least 10 pounds... I just want to find a way to stick to eating a normal way more than anything, though. Please help me. I don't want to be insanely anal about calories... I don't know what to do when I exercise a lot and MFP says I have 1900 calories to eat, and I want to eat all of them but eating all of them means no weight loss...

This is supposed to be difficult and take a long time, I know. But I really am feeling stressed and emotionally upset and still am not in a good place with my body. Any help you could give me is sincerely appreciated. Thanks.

nikki91950

are you sure you're actually allowing yourself to eat enough calories? have you ever tried consistently eating all or most of your exercise calories?

amg_89

Yes, you have hit a plateau, but my deary, you have just binged. Take it from someone who has been struggling with binge eating for over a year and still struggles (slowly getting better, though!) you do NOT want to fall into the trap of binge eating! So I'm going to give you some advice that has helped me in my recovery from it.

1. DO NOT RESTRICT TOMORROW! Eat breakfast, eat lunch, eat dinner, eat your calories. Don't try and make up for it by working out for 3 hours and/or eating significantly less calories in order to make up for today. You will undoubtedly fall into the binge/restrict trap.

2. Quit making food such a big deal. While you obviously need to track calories in order to know how much you can eat to lose weight, the fact that you have gotten so worried that you can't track every calorie all the time concerns me. You do need to make sure you aren't going over your calories, you need to be able to sustain this lifestyle forever, so unless you are planning on being planted in front of your computer to track your cals, worrying so much will only hurt you.

Don't stress too much over it, you will be fine and you will continue losing weight. Message me if you need any support or have questions!

nikki91950

you're definitely burning the candle at both ends, sweetheart. something's gotta give.

6Janelle13

i am there with you. i can't seem to stay focused on the goal and we won't discuss the whole working out thing (i hate it) but i have a few things to help you stay on track:

1) portion portion portion- that box of ginger cookies- count out a serving size in the morning BEFORE you want to snack on them. put them in a ziplock baggy and put the box away. If i have an open container i eat way more then if i counted out my portion first.

2) Pre Plan- I enter my day in my diary before i get it. that way i can correct or alter my course instead of feeling terrible at the end of the day. oh i don't have enough sodium..ok no dressing on my salad at lunch etc.

3) don't over do it- while i hate working out i can not realistically manage 2 hours of work out a day. i am a wife, student and have too many other things. what i can manage is a one hour block of me time. what i do with it is my fault or victory. I can walk, run, do 30 day shred, play with the pup and or take a soak in the tub. by doing something to take care of mei feel better and if i don't have it in me to work out i accept that too. beating yourself up doesn't help you and dieting is already a stressful thing to do.

4) Don't worry about people- folks will love or hate you and you may never even know what you did. Guys have all types of tastes in women and honestly if guys can't see past the body you have do you really want them paying attention to you? the only thing holding you back in that department is you. embrace yourself and have the confidence not to let someone else define you. Yes things jiggle on me, yes i have dimples and vericose veins (ekkkk i'm only 25 but they are there) but my husband, who was the right guy for me, has never even noticed them. the only time he's said anything is after i pointed out my flaw. the point is take care of you and love yourself and others will follow when the time is right.

5) Give yourself a break- yes i am going on a month long plateau also but stressing out about it takes too much of a toll emotionally. you are being active. it sounds like you may need to get food in check and you didn't mention alcohol or liquid calories but watch out for that too (i snack when i drink). but once you get the changable things in check just stay active. it will start to move again. changing your work out helps. stressing doesn't.

sass30

I can not give you much advice on the food part because I have a hard time myself but some weight training will help tone you up. It's amazing what 3 days a week for 20-30 minutes can do for you. Hang in there you can do it!