How to deal with outsiders comments on your food intake

mariluny

Hi!
I started checking my calories back in January and i have since lost 54 pounts Sounds like a lot but I started at 250 and I've been losing much more slowly these past 2 months.
I found that once the novelty passed and you know what to eat and you've re-learn quantities, it goes really well and I usually don't struggle much at all.

What I do struggle with is how people around me react to what I eat. Obvisouly when I go out to restaurants or at a friend's house i put aside the calorie counting a bit, I try to be more cautious and do the smart choices when possible but that's it. I don't want to impose my eating habits to others either.
But with my close friends/family or people I live with, they will make comments quite often. For example when I eat cereal in the morning I usually have it with almond milk instead of regular dairy milk or for dinner i'll have half a chicken breast instead of a full one, have a side salad instead of rice or just skip the salad dressing and sprinkle dried herbs instead, etc... People will make a lot of comments on it and when i say i'm just checking what I eat people start making comments about eating disorder or how i'm obsessed with what I eat. I don't think I am. I do talk about it sometimes but I did lose 54 pounds and i'm so proud of it I want to share what I consider a success. I find that people around me are not that supportive of it and they see it as a problem. Yes sometimes I will crave chips or dessert or french fries or stuff like that and I won't have any at the time being, although if I crave something for more then I few days I usually cave in and have a really small portion of it just so it pass. But they just tell me if I want it now I should have some.

I think I'm being really smart about how I lose weight, I'm not hungry all day long, I eat healthy without using diet/low fat/pre made/etc food, I still cheat quite often when I really crave something so I don't feel so much on a diet but more in a new healty eating habit life.

Does this happen to others? And if so, how do you guys react to it?

ClintonnGottaDoItAgain

I am in the same boat. I have decided that NO MATTER WHAT I need to make smart, sound, beneficial choices to what I eat and how much of it I eat. I applaud your resolve and tenacity.....

weird_me2

I think that when the people we are closest to see us changing, they can get concerned. Also, when you do something that's different from what you've always done and/or different from those around you, it is "weird" to those around you. You've lost 54 pounds in less than 4 months. That's a lot to lose in such a short amount of time. The people you live with and are around all the time are seeing your losses and your "weirdness" about food and are probably truly concerned for you.

As time goes on, they will adapt to the new you and your losses won't seem so extreme and some of their concern will probably go away. In the mean time, it's probably easiest to just not talk about your weight loss / diet and not talk about "can't" have this or that (not saying that you do). While it's fun to talk about our successes, other people, even the ones who love us, don't often want to hear about it. Come on here to brag if you need to, but just stay mum about the whole thing if you aren't getting good responses at home. After all, it's no fun to be excited about something and have someone you care about rain on your parade!

Pattinan

I understand. You are fine. People without food issues might not understand that for some of us, we must have vigilance or we get right back to where we started. Do what you must do to enjoy continued success and try not to let what others say or think affect you negatively. For me, I am not a "normal" eater. I must be very careful. To some it may seem obsessive but I find myself on a slippery slope far too often. I need to take care of me, as you do and am willing to let my behaviors seem a little odd to "outsiders". Keep up the good fight! You have made tremendous progress. Congratulation!

SezxyStef

Sure I get comments, like when I eat a cookie at work or a piece of cake...the comments are usually

"you can't eat that you are on a diet" at which I say..."no I am not on a diet and I can eat whatever I want"

or

when they see I eat as much as I do

"you can't be losing weight eating that much" at which I reply "sure I can"

or

If I post a recipe on FB the comments are usually

"yah like you would eat that" to which I reply

"I lift this *insert pic of 180lb dead lift* so I can eat this"

Either have come backs or ignore them.

firestation12

I think your weight loss is great. Very often other people are just jealous because they need to loose and can't. I told only three very close people that I am on a diet to loose 30 lbs. A friend of mine didn't even comment my 9 lbs weight loss because she needs to loose a lot and can't. So stay on track and don't give a sh... what others think.

arijo7

I have the same thing happening to me! I learned that other people who aren't trying to lose weight don't understand the portion control and moderation. They think it's wrong because that's not what they are used to. You have gotten so far and you're progressing! Don't let any one say anything to make you doubt what you are doing because you are clearly doing this right and you're doing great:)

PJPrimrose

Stick my tongue out like a 4 yr old and say, "I'm skinny and eat ice cream neener neener neener". Just kidding, I explain portion control and smile.

freddi11e

People are going to judge you no matter what you do. They will comment if you eat "too little" and they will comment if you eat "too much." I deal with this all the time with people. But I make it clear that if I want more later, I know where to get it. I'm happy with what I'm eating. And your friends probably just don't know what a real serving size is. Do they know that a serving size of pasta is the size of a baseball?

I am so proud of you for losing 54 pounds! keep doing what you are doing. This is for you, not for anyone else.

Obviously what you are doing is working for you, so don't let anyone influence or hinder your ablility to achieve your goals.

Haters gonna hate.

meganjcallaghan

a little over 100 of my loss has been over the last 9 months, and i do get the ''oh stop counting'' from some people when i do so much as glance at a label. I think some people have it easy in that they CAN eat whatever they want and not gain an inch and seem to think everybody else should be able to do so as well....and others just can't seem to comprehend the concept of being aware of your intake and that in order to be aware you can't just 'wing it'. oh well. screw 'em.

fivethreeone

I always hear that I can't lose weight eating so much....

And yet I do.

That's how I deal with it. By succeeding.

akern15

Keep up the good work and try to ignore everyone's comments. I don't know why people must comment negatively but I don't think it ever goes away. I'm in decent shape I watch what I eat and exercise everyday. I never dole out unwanted advice or tell others what they need to be eating. Just this Easter I went to my parents for dinner and my Mom asked me if I wanted a piece of Apple pie. I said no thank you. Then she rolled her eyes and said: "oh I forgot you're trying to be healthy". Well actually I had just snarfed down two large ham sandwiches and two helpings of mac and cheese.......I was really just stuffed but whatever. I just use comments like those as fuel for my workouts.

ninerbuff

Smile, thank them for their advice and then put on the ignore button.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

cwolfman13

18 + months in and nobody says much anymore...because they pretty much recognize that I could destroy them in any sort of physical endeavor. I used to get comments and then people started to see that not only was I and did I lose the weight...but I became stronger and substantially more physically fit over time. Once people realized that I wasn't really dieting and that I was all about making my life a life that is nutritionally conscious and fitness driven people shut up. That didn't really happen until maintenance when they saw that I was still practicing the same eating and fitness habits but no longer trying to lose weight.

I'm into nutrition and fitness...other people are into video games...whateves....this is how I roll.

Alexandra_S

First of all, congratulations! You've achieved great results!
Second, yes, sometimes our family is not supportive at all. Been there, done that. I suppose they feel guilty because they don't eat healthy, you remind them there are other options and it makes them uncomfortable. I understand you don't impose your views on them, but sometimes you don't even have to do it.
It's not about you, it's about them. I guess they are not happy with their weight or health. But for some reason they don't try to change it. And your success is a reproach to them.
As long as you're sure you're not starving yourself, keep doing what you're doing. I don't know, how to deal with this lack of support. I usually ignore it and just change the subject.

Alatariel75

I've perfected the deadpan, one eyebrow slightly raised stare. Just turn it on them until they get uncomfortable and go away. You'd be surprised how little time it takes.

LianaG1115

YES! YES! YES!! At the same time it pisses me off when they ask how I've lost it, I tell them and they say they could never eat that way or exercise like I do. That's the reality is they don't have the willpower or drive we do and so they make negative comments to deter from their own reality!! 54lbs is awesome!! Keep up the awesome work!!

Alexandra_S

YES! YES! YES!! At the same time it pisses me off when they ask how I've lost it, I tell them and they say they could never eat that way or exercise like I do. That's the reality is they don't have the willpower or drive we do and so they make negative comments to deter from their own reality!! 54lbs is awesome!! Keep up the awesome work!!

Exactly

dsb188

I think you need to stick with with what you are doing. It amazes me how people think they are experts on weight loss but it all depends on the person and how their body reacts to the diet. Take it as a lesson in how to deal with this behavior in the future. I am about 45 pounds down and I had friends tell me what i needed to but yet they have lost no weight. Consider the source.

zeal26

Once (once!) I half wondered about the calories of something in front of a friend of mine and now she never stops on about how I shouldn't be counting calories! That's so obsessive! And dangerous! Every time I put something near my mouth I hear ''how many calories in that eh??''. It's so frustrating, especially coming from somebody who is SUPER skinny and really does eat anything she wants in huge quantities. It upsets me because I've been quite dedicated and my body has already changed entirely and she just can't be happy for me.

It's frustrating. I'm learning to ignore it. I'm doing this for myself, nobody else.

Neliel88

People can often be quite jealous when they see someone succeeding with weight loss, as it's one of those things a lot of people struggle with. People react differently to weight loss success, I've had people say they admire me for how well I've done and I've had someone else say 'you'd look weird if you got skinnier'. Silly, snippy comments.