Sabotage! When family outings attack..

Heatherybit

Last weekend while choosing restaurants for a family get together, my family members sounded off various restaurants. I threw out Outback Steakhouse, because I know I can get a 6oz steak and loaded baked potato for 600 calories or less. Of course this suggestion was pitched and Buffalo Wild Wings was selected to my dismay. Looking at the calories..and saturated fat..there really wasn't anything there I could order besides the Naked Tenders, which I will NEVER recommend to anyone. (The taste to price ratio was by far one of the worst out there.) I left there with a stomach ache and was thoroughly disappointed.

Next weekend everyone wants to go to Famous Dave's.

My question is, what do you do when it comes to these situations? If I suggest healthy options, I get glares and ridiculed, but I also don't want to go out and waste $40 on a meal I won't like but I still want to be social.

Any advice would be much appreciated...I'm already feeling anxiety thinking about the coming weekend.

psmd

Eat at home first and just go for the company?

KameHameHaaa

I like the eat at home then just hang out with people idea. Or you can also save your calories/macros for something which is what i typically do if i know im going out to eat.

nespinosa3

Unfortunately, I've had to literally stick to going to places and not eating it sucks...I miss eating whatever I want and it's so hard to just stare at people eat, but it's what I feel it's the best choice. Like you said, most places that people pick don't have their nutritional info, and even if they do, there is literally nothing that would fit into my calorie goals without starving myself the rest of the day. The other thing you can do is pick the plate you want but divide it in half; but again, you might stay hungry :S
I would say try getting the healthiest item you can, if it doesn't exist, then just go and hang out and eat at your home. Save your cheat meals for something that you love, not just any burger.

barracudamuscle

Pregame! Snacks early meal time before the outing. It makes it easier to resist any and all appetizers.

I'd also recommend drinking water. Typically what I do if I know I have a hard day is hit the gym before to help offset the meal. In real world experience my extra gym time offsets some if not all my beer/alcohol or high cal food from the evening.

You could also talk to your family about wanting healthy choices, maybe pre-choose 4-5 healthy ones and guide them that way!

kk_140

Yup, or order something fairly small (children's menus are great and normally have fairly low calories compared to other options.) Or dont eat everything on the plate.

ndj1979

don't they have a grilled chicken wrap?

not sure how this is sabotage..they just wanted to go somewhere that they liked and you got over ruled.

you could always eat less for breakfast and lunch and then have what you want…mmmm hot wings and beer!!!

or you could pre log the item you want from wild wings and then build day around that ..

and really it is just one day, so what is the harm in that…?

prattiger65

As long as it isn't all the time, I just go and eat. I figure that with special occasions and family nights out account for about 30 days a year. That leaves me 325 days a year to be dedicated. Eh, I just enjoy time with my family.

ErinMcMom

You can probably have a salad at any restaurant I can possibly think of, that's an option. Or, shave a bit off of your intake each day or exercise for extra calories you can save for your night out with the family so you can eat what you really want guilt free (you'll still balance out for the week)!

Panaru

I have this problem anytime my family goes out.. An I don't know about you guys but my MIL gets down right offended if you don't eat! lol I've told people a 100 times I am trying to eat better but they always end up going to places that are just awful for you..
I just drink a lot of water and eat like 25% of whats on my plate.. Most of the time places like this end up with 1500-2000cal meals so I eat as little as I can when there is nothing else.

Heatherybit

I have this problem anytime my family goes out.. An I don't know about you guys but my MIL gets down right offended if you don't eat! lol I've told people a 100 times I am trying to eat better but they always end up going to places that are just awful for you..
I just drink a lot of water and eat like 25% of whats on my plate.. Most of the time places like this end up with 1500-2000cal meals so I eat as little as I can when there is nothing else.

THIS! I get the whole "You're making me feel bad" whenever I choose the lighter option or eat less than them.

I do like the pre-eating idea that was mentioned above! I do work out more and reduce my calorie intake throughout the week to make up for the mass consumption expected, but when I don't order the fettucini alfredo like everyone else or divide up the portion I actually get made fun of at the table. It's like if I don't eat like they do from appetizers to desserts going out about once a week..(the Olive Garden meal was 3700+) this would be hard to make up. And if it isn't obvious, I don't want to make others feel uncomfortable..but I feel uncomfortable... and the feeling is getting old.

ndj1979

I have this problem anytime my family goes out.. An I don't know about you guys but my MIL gets down right offended if you don't eat! lol I've told people a 100 times I am trying to eat better but they always end up going to places that are just awful for you..
I just drink a lot of water and eat like 25% of whats on my plate.. Most of the time places like this end up with 1500-2000cal meals so I eat as little as I can when there is nothing else.

THIS! I get the whole "You're making me feel bad" whenever I choose the lighter option or eat less than them.

I do like the pre-eating idea that was mentioned above! I do work out more and reduce my calorie intake throughout the week to make up for the mass consumption expected, but when I don't order the fettucini alfredo like everyone else or divide up the portion I actually get made fun of at the table. It's like if I don't eat like they do from appetizers to desserts going out about once a week..(the Olive Garden meal was 3700+) this would be hard to make up. And if it isn't obvious, I don't want to make others feel uncomfortable..but I feel uncomfortable... and the feeling is getting old.

does it really matter what other people think? So what if you want to get a grilled chicken salad or grilled chicken sandwich with no bacon .??? I don't see how the type of food that you order diminishes the time and fun spent with family….

Heatherybit

I have this problem anytime my family goes out.. An I don't know about you guys but my MIL gets down right offended if you don't eat! lol I've told people a 100 times I am trying to eat better but they always end up going to places that are just awful for you..
I just drink a lot of water and eat like 25% of whats on my plate.. Most of the time places like this end up with 1500-2000cal meals so I eat as little as I can when there is nothing else.

THIS! I get the whole "You're making me feel bad" whenever I choose the lighter option or eat less than them.

I do like the pre-eating idea that was mentioned above! I do work out more and reduce my calorie intake throughout the week to make up for the mass consumption expected, but when I don't order the fettucini alfredo like everyone else or divide up the portion I actually get made fun of at the table. It's like if I don't eat like they do from appetizers to desserts going out about once a week..(the Olive Garden meal was 3700+) this would be hard to make up. And if it isn't obvious, I don't want to make others feel uncomfortable..but I feel uncomfortable... and the feeling is getting old.

does it really matter what other people think? So what if you want to get a grilled chicken salad or grilled chicken sandwich with no bacon .??? I don't see how the type of food that you order diminishes the time and fun spent with family….

I like to eat the grilled chicken...what diminishes the quality time is being made fun of for doing so and then being told that I am personally making the dining experience less enjoyable for others because I'm being too "picky".

ndj1979

I have this problem anytime my family goes out.. An I don't know about you guys but my MIL gets down right offended if you don't eat! lol I've told people a 100 times I am trying to eat better but they always end up going to places that are just awful for you..
I just drink a lot of water and eat like 25% of whats on my plate.. Most of the time places like this end up with 1500-2000cal meals so I eat as little as I can when there is nothing else.

THIS! I get the whole "You're making me feel bad" whenever I choose the lighter option or eat less than them.

I do like the pre-eating idea that was mentioned above! I do work out more and reduce my calorie intake throughout the week to make up for the mass consumption expected, but when I don't order the fettucini alfredo like everyone else or divide up the portion I actually get made fun of at the table. It's like if I don't eat like they do from appetizers to desserts going out about once a week..(the Olive Garden meal was 3700+) this would be hard to make up. And if it isn't obvious, I don't want to make others feel uncomfortable..but I feel uncomfortable... and the feeling is getting old.

does it really matter what other people think? So what if you want to get a grilled chicken salad or grilled chicken sandwich with no bacon .??? I don't see how the type of food that you order diminishes the time and fun spent with family….

I like to eat the grilled chicken...what diminishes the quality time is being made fun of for doing so and then being told that I am personally making the dining experience less enjoyable for others because I'm being too "picky".

I can't help you with that one .my family always encouraged me no matter what my routine/eating regimen was…

I would just ignore it and order what you feel is best for you ..if anyone says anything just smile and say"no, this is really good, you should try some…"

OkamiLavande

Sometimes it's best to do an appetizer for your meal instead of a menu meal. At Applebee's I always just order something off the appetizer menu and get so full I can't finish it.

32sami

Live a little, life's short

Nt2Badhuh

My family does this too. I will box up the majority of my meal as soon as it gets to the table ( and yes I get made fun of) I drink water and eat what I have on my plate as slow as I can. I don't have the control for buffalo wild wings though. I wouldn't go lol

AleciaG724

Yes - extra workouts, yes - pre-log, yes - budget for your weekend splurges. Eat whatever you want, just less of it. Order the alfredo, but only eat half, take small bites & take the other half home. I always ask for a to-go box as soon as they bring my food. I place half of everything on my plate in the box. That way I get lunch or dinner the next day as well! (You can really rub it in while you're enjoying your leftovers, too!!) Just deal with the family making fun of you & laugh right along with them. It will get old & they will stop if you are consistent & just keep doing your thing. Most likely they will stop more quickly if they see it's not bothering you.

Heatherybit

Yes - extra workouts, yes - pre-log, yes - budget for your weekend splurges. Eat whatever you want, just less of it. Order the alfredo, but only eat half, take small bites & take the other half home. I always ask for a to-go box as soon as they bring my food. I place half of everything on my plate in the box. That way I get lunch or dinner the next day as well! (You can really rub it in while you're enjoying your leftovers, too!!) Just deal with the family making fun of you & laugh right along with them. It will get old & they will stop if you are consistent & just keep doing your thing. Most likely they will stop more quickly if they see it's not bothering you.

I love love love the to-go boxes right away! Making a note of it right now!

thingofstuff

There is a pre-eating/anxiety disorder called Orthorexia, where people's social lives suffer due to an obsession with clean eating. If you are eating out every weekend, then yes finding healthier options are important. But if you eat out infrequently, have that as your cheat day and make sure to have done a little extra exercise that day to avoid feelings of guilt. Portion control, drinking lots of water with your meal, and getting to take home half of your meal never hurts. Also eating an appy instead of a entree is a good way of avoiding gigantic restaurant portions too. I'm from Vancouver and the vast majority of dine-in restaurants offer healthy options, locally sourced dishes with caloric and fats stats. All in all, restaurants should be seen as a treat. If your family is looking for other ways to meet up and be social, try a museum, botanical gardens, or walking tour and get coffee instead of focusing on restaurants.

jennifries227

"I love you guys, and I would appreciate your support on my journey to a healthier me."
That should shut them up immediately and make them realize how hurtful the things they say are. My parents were all supportive of me when I started eating healthier, and promised to support me. Instead they wanted to eat at Applebee's, Texas Roadhouse, and Olive Garden every day I was visiting them. They would say "You can get healthy stuff there!" then question why I wasn't getting the fettuccine alfredo (my favorite) or the giant bone-in ribeye. And then my mom would want to share a dessert.
It's hard, and I don't think they always realize what they're doing. Sometimes they get so used to doing the same things, eating the same way, that they feel threatened when something changes. Or just downright confused.

But really, speaking up and explaining why you are doing whatever is you are doing, eating what you're eating, and so on is a good place to start. When I explained how many calories were in fettuccine alfredo my dad actually blanched. And ended up ordering a healthier option.

ETA: Correcting spelling errors. It's late.

nomorebingesgirl2014

Bump

JoshD8705

For outtings I order whatever I like/love, and if the calories for the meal are ridiculous I'll take home left overs, so I have another meal later. (I do this a lot with Chinese food)

jennifer_417

There are a couple of things you can do.

You can save up your calories over the week, like just short yourself 150 or so a day and use them there.

Or, like someone else said, eat at home and just go and socialize.

Workout a little longer the next few days.

jenilla1

I really like your thread title, OP.
Sorry, I'm no help to you, though.

corgicake

My tactic of choice to avoid letting the new normal tell me how to eat is claiming that the ride or heat knocked out my appetite, then ordering off the kids menu. I get a lot of nods and knowing smiles from waitresses if the contrast is pretty up there.

canadjineh

Eat at home, then join them for a coffee/tea and in restaurant visit. After all it's not like you MADE them go to a salad joint and pre-ordered the bare lettuce for them. If they can't find something greasy and carb laden and sugar filled at Outback's, they have a problem. Don't bother sabotaging your health plans because of them, they will be dead of heart attacks very soon anyhow.
I hope you realize I'm being ironic...

But seriously - the first sentence, as stated by several level headed posters.

Heatherybit

Wow, learned a lot from everyone! The tips and tricks really built my confidence to keep my brain on track. My strategic plan going forward:

1. work out more in preparation
2. thinking Macro in terms of calories..build in deficits throughout the week
3. think small..appetizers are delicious!
4. no-clean plate club (To-Go boxes are your friends)
5. this change in lifestyle is for me and not them, they can eat their words..I'll feast on results!

Thanks everyone!

nomad1000

I would not discount looking anyone who is giving you grief for eating healthier right in the eye and saying, with a raised eyebrow, "now why would you say something like that?" Usually shuts them right up.

Tina1737

(throws hands up) THANK YOU! Glad someone said it!

rrcoffey

I'm sorry your family gives you grief over your choices. Even if they don't agree with them (for whatever reason), it's not right to ridicule someone you love.

I love this thread...all great suggestions. I do research for local restaurants before heading out. Most have their menus online, so I'll look through it and make a plan before getting there. With enough lead time (i.e. plans are made more than a day in advance), I can plan my whole day around a somewhat indulgent dinner.

Hope your next gathering is fun and less stressful!