Mental Recovery

TheMusicNote
TheMusicNote Posts: 4
in Fitness and Exercise
Almost exactly two years ago I tore my ACl. Or at least, I suspect I tore it, because the ER doctor slapped a brace on me and sent me on my way. But recovery has been much harder than it should have been if it was just a sprain like he said. One month before I could bend it, two months before I could put any weight on it, four months before I could walk without crutches, and four 1/2 months until I could walk without a limp. I should have had surgery, or at the very least some physical therapy. But instead I did nothing and now I'm regretting that more than anything.
For those of you who don't know, the ACL is a ligament on the side of the knee that keeps things from sliding around. Since mine is so damaged I constantly hear that dreaded crunch of bone and cartilage and see my knee bend in ways it shouldn't. It's gotten to the point that if anyone sees me limping I merely say that my knee crunched again and they nod and continue to go about their day.
Two years later I am terrified of doing anything that endangers it. Stairs, hiking, running, lunges- anything that carries even the smallest possibility of twisting and crunching. I'm planning on finally just going to a damn doctor and seeking their advice for the physical aspect, but I need help with the mental recovery.
I don't want to be scared of re-injury anymore. I am tired of being held back. Sure, the elliptical is fun but I want to become a runner.
Has anybody gone through this mental handicap? How did you learn to trust your body again? Did your body even fully recover?

Replies

  • micheleb15
    micheleb15 Posts: 1,418 Member
    So you just self-diagnosed yourself and never saw another dr in two years?
  • TheMusicNote
    TheMusicNote Posts: 4
    No health insurance :/ Now that I finally have some thanks to the affordable care act I'll be able to get it looked at.
  • Ainar
    Ainar Posts: 858 Member
    Well first of all get it diagnosed and treated properly if you need to. Once it is healed then you need to actually check at doctor and see can you run safely. Just because it is all healed and good now does not mean it will not get worse once you start exercising again. Now you don't actually know, right? So its good that you are scared cos otherwise you might have done it and screwed it up even more. Don't need to be afraid of it but don't also be stupid about it.

    I think you are scared because you don't know for sure. Like that's the thing where all fears come from I think. So do your research from books, internet, whatever and of course consult professional advice. They will either tell you that it is either safe, not safe or it could be any of the two and they don't know for sure. In which case decide if that is a risk you are ready to take.
  • wonderbeard101
    wonderbeard101 Posts: 75 Member
    No health insurance :/ Now that I finally have some thanks to the affordable care act I'll be able to get it looked at.

    This is step 1 to getting your confidence back. You need to know your knee's actual condition and what you need to do to get it to a stable point before you can confidently (and carefully) move back into the physical activity world. Good or bad news from the doctor, it's always better to know than it is to be totally unsure.

    You get out of the mental funk by rehabbing and carefully testing and retesting limits until the point where both you and your doctor KNOW that it can handle the increased loads again.
  • TheMusicNote
    TheMusicNote Posts: 4
    Thanks, guys :)

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