Could use some help "getting with it."

themusicdude

I've been struggling with my weight for almost a decade; when I was still in high school I was pretty active, even though I hated sports. I spent my early 20's doing the wandering musician thing and ended up eating a lot of fast food and general crap. I used to eat once or twice a day at most and would eat huge meals. I was always tired due to my schedule, so I drank a lot of soda. I worked in kitchens and as a bartender when I wasn't playing or touring, so I drank a lot and ate too much.

About seven years ago I settled into a more stable part of my career and have spent less time on the road and more time at home. I started cooking again, but usually ate loaded down pasta or other big meals. I still ate a lot of fast food and my physical activity dropped to nothing, unless I was onstage. I've worked with some personal trainers before and tried to manage my weight, but I've had varying success... I've lost 20-30 pounds at least three times over the last seven years, but each time it's only lasted a very short time.

About a week ago I made a decision to start working out and trying to change my habits again, as I had two hard knocks in the course of a single week; I nailed an audition for a band I really wanted to work with, but because of my weight I wasn't going to fit their image, and a woman I had gone out with on several dates informed me that as much as she liked my personality, she wasn't attracted to me at all on a physical level, and that was that. I started wondering about how many other opportunities I might have missed out on, and realized that even though it was going to be a real difficult change, I needed to make it.

I'm 5'10" and about 420 pounds. Starting last Monday I've been spending 40-60 minutes in the gym six days a week. I've been tracking my exercise (sure wish that strength training tracked more accurately...) and my food as well. My youngest sister has been very helpful in preparing a week's worth of lunches and dinners that I can keep in the fridge and freezer, so I'm not as tempted to grab fast food. I've cut out soda (which sucks because I really miss the caffeine) and haven't had anything fried in nine days, and have only had pasta twice.

Family and friends are trying hard to be supportive, but they've all watched me try before and fail, so I'm feeling a bit discouraged. I was also a bit discouraged yesterday and today, because I wasn't able to match the cardio I put in last week, but managed to hit the weights a lot hard. I'm still not certain I understand the net calories goal, because I feel like I'm already eating a lot, and after some days I still have quite a few calories left over, but I'm trying to get as close as I can.

I'd be really appreciative of any advice or tips you all could give me. If there's any other information I can provide you (I think my journal is public), just let me know!

Gramps251

You can do this. Friend request sent.

SezxyStef

I took a look at your diary and it looks pretty good to me.

As for net calories that is basically as follows

total calories consumed - exercise calories = Net calories.

So if you eat 2500 and exercise 500...you are at 2000 net and the suggestion is to eat back at least 50-75% of your exercise calories.

Not 100% as MFP has a tendancy to over estimate burns...

some advice I have is to buy a food scale....
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1270280-food-weighing-scale-miracles?page=1#posts-19769726

The above link illustrates why.

As well don't think of food as "good" or "bad"...this is not a diet...it is how you are going to eat for the rest of your life...just in smaller portions.

I mean are you going to give up soda forever??? probably not..you can enjoy them in moderation...I prefer diet coke so it's not an issue for me...but I love my chocolate...and if you look at my diary I eat it almost every night in some way shape or form.

It's not the type of food you eat that makes you gain weight it is the amount you eat...

As well exercise is great but don't beat yourself up over it if you miss it...you just need a calorie deficet to lose weight. exercise is for health and fitness...

Speaking of which if you do like lifting continue with that...try a well written common program like Stronglifts 5x5 which is 3x a week.
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/560459-stronglifts-5x5-summary
above is a summary for you.

Lifting and getting in enough protien help you maintain your muscle mass...and in your case may help you gain a bit at first.

Remember tho this takes time and patience...you didn't gain this weight in 6 months you wont lose it in 6 months and there are lots ahead of you who have done what you are doing now and have reached their goals...

_HeartsOnFire_

I took a look at your diary and it looks pretty good to me.

As for net calories that is basically as follows

total calories consumed - exercise calories = Net calories.

So if you eat 2500 and exercise 500...you are at 2000 net and the suggestion is to eat back at least 50-75% of your exercise calories.

Not 100% as MFP has a tendancy to over estimate burns...

some advice I have is to buy a food scale....
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1270280-food-weighing-scale-miracles?page=1#posts-19769726

The above link illustrates why.

As well don't think of food as "good" or "bad"...this is not a diet...it is how you are going to eat for the rest of your life...just in smaller portions.

I mean are you going to give up soda forever??? probably not..you can enjoy them in moderation...I prefer diet coke so it's not an issue for me...but I love my chocolate...and if you look at my diary I eat it almost every night in some way shape or form.

It's not the type of food you eat that makes you gain weight it is the amount you eat...

As well exercise is great but don't beat yourself up over it if you miss it...you just need a calorie deficet to lose weight. exercise is for health and fitness...

Speaking of which if you do like lifting continue with that...try a well written common program like Stronglifts 5x5 which is 3x a week.
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/560459-stronglifts-5x5-summary
above is a summary for you.

Lifting and getting in enough protien help you maintain your muscle mass...and in your case may help you gain a bit at first.

Remember tho this takes time and patience...you didn't gain this weight in 6 months you wont lose it in 6 months and there are lots ahead of you who have done what you are doing now and have reached their goals...

QFT

_HeartsOnFire_

Also these may help...

Read these:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1235566-so-you-re-new-here?hl=so+you're+new+here

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

Only tips I can say is it's about moderation not deprivation.
You CAN do this. Believe in yourself. You got this!!!
You've already taken the hardest step, making the decision to do it.
Do not get discouraged or disappointed because you can't hit the gym as hard as last week...I was kickboxing 2x a week and walking 5 miles every day. I started the stronglifts program a couple weeks and continued walking 5 miles everyday...and have yet to be able to go to kickboxing because I'm so sore.

Remember, believe in yourself. You got this.

caseydcoufal

Check this out. Maybe it can help.

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1270758-creating-a-motivation-group

themusicdude

Thanks everyone. FWIW, I am using a food scale and weighing out everything.

One thing I did not mention was that I have arthritis and have since I was quite young. I try to work slightly more low impact when possible, because my last major setback was when I was doing kickboxing... I was making great progress through weight loss and strength training, but it was just too hard on my joints and I had a severe flare-up.

I'll take a look at those links when I get a break. Thanks for all the kind words so far!

lrearick1452

Pep Talk!

Don't beat yourself up about exercise--just remember to work at a deficit. Ate too much pasta? Take a long vigorous walk, go up and down the stairs a few times, just move. The fact that you've posted your concerns means you really care about your program. Good move!

You are as good as your NEXT bite of food--NOT your last. Ask yourself if you're you in it for the long haul? If so, forgive yourself and start again-with your next snack or meal. I believe a life change begins with 3 P's-Persistence, Patience, and Perseverance. You must be persistent--always striving for better. You must be patient--how long did it take you to gain? Allow at least a quarter of that same time to lose the healthy way, but work towards less. Perseverance--pick yourself up every time you fall. We don't ever fail until we quit.

Finally, we don't plan to fail, we fail to plan. If you need a soda to get you going, have ONE. Meanwhile, look for non-caloric ways to get your caffeine fix and/or walk off the calories. I crave a sweet every evening so I prepare something low calorie and sweet to have just before bedtime. It's usually jello with fruit or a sugar free Popsicle, but I plan it in and so don't feel deprived. It's great that you've got the support of someone willing to cook for you. Support is a good part of the battle! See if you can find someone willing to work with you during your journey. A local walking/workout buddy keeps you both on track.

Exercise is my downfall. I have arthritis and fibromyalgia so many days its all I can do to walk a mile. But I do what I can when I can and I don't give up--I WON'T QUIT.

You will find your balance between calories and exercise. Once you do, the results are worth all the effort.

CynthiaT60

Hey musicdude, you can add me if my profile looks like a good enough match. (Also a musician, though classical.)

Whether you do or don't: good luck and believe in yourself. You're already on the right path. Slow and steady (not burned out in a week) will get you there!

RiotGirlll

Trust me, trying to lose weight is only ever going to work if you really want it for yourself. It's always good to step back and look at yourself and think, how can I be healthier? For me,getting out of breath really quickly annoyed the hell out of me.Two weeks ago, I decided I was going to eat at a deficit of 1000 calories, half the recommended daily amount for a woman. Not only that, I knew I could easily consume more sugar than I should while staying within 1000 calories, and I knew that wasn't going to help. I halved all my nutritional amounts, so half the amount of sugar, half the carbohydrates, half of salt. I was that kind of person who used to have toast, EVERY morning but since knowing what I should be eating and keeping within my amounts, I eat what I want but just eat the right amount of it. My sweet tooth used to be the bane of my life, now by counting everything I know that I can have treats as long as I count everything.

Good luck from me!

_HeartsOnFire_

Thanks everyone. FWIW, I am using a food scale and weighing out everything.

One thing I did not mention was that I have arthritis and have since I was quite young. I try to work slightly more low impact when possible, because my last major setback was when I was doing kickboxing... I was making great progress through weight loss and strength training, but it was just too hard on my joints and I had a severe flare-up.

I'll take a look at those links when I get a break. Thanks for all the kind words so far!

Maybe start by walking. Work your way up to other things since you have arthritis.

I have a knee that hates me, but I know the more I strengthen my quads the less my knee hurts.

I also have an ankle that hurts sometimes, I've had no problems with the Stronglifts program.

themusicdude

Well, my sister's "healthy" meatloaf was tasty, but when I plugged it all into the calculator... it wasn't really. :-/

Ended up overshooting my calories for the day, so I'm at the dilemma of going back to the gym for another 30 minutes before bed, or just shrug it off and eat smarter tomorrow?

_HeartsOnFire_

Well, my sister's "healthy" meatloaf was tasty, but when I plugged it all into the calculator... it wasn't really. :-/

Ended up overshooting my calories for the day, so I'm at the dilemma of going back to the gym for another 30 minutes before bed, or just shrug it off and eat smarter tomorrow?

You'll be fine. It's really not that bad. One meal won't undo what you are working towards. You were under yesterday too, so it about breaks even.

_HeartsOnFire_

Plus it was packed with a lot of protein. Which is good.

I would suggest, if you aren't already, drink more water. Don't like plain water? Put fruit in it or lemon and cucumber slices, or just cucumber slices, frozen grapes, etc.

themusicdude

Well, my sister's "healthy" meatloaf was tasty, but when I plugged it all into the calculator... it wasn't really. :-/

Ended up overshooting my calories for the day, so I'm at the dilemma of going back to the gym for another 30 minutes before bed, or just shrug it off and eat smarter tomorrow?

You'll be fine. It's really not that bad. One meal won't undo what you are working towards. You were under yesterday too, so it about breaks even.

Well, that's good news. It's storming pretty fierce and driving to the gym doesn't sound to enticing.

I'll make sure to hit the cardio really hard tomorrow since I slacked a bit today on both cardio and food amounts. Sadly, I'm still hungry tonite.

_HeartsOnFire_

Well, my sister's "healthy" meatloaf was tasty, but when I plugged it all into the calculator... it wasn't really. :-/

Ended up overshooting my calories for the day, so I'm at the dilemma of going back to the gym for another 30 minutes before bed, or just shrug it off and eat smarter tomorrow?

You'll be fine. It's really not that bad. One meal won't undo what you are working towards. You were under yesterday too, so it about breaks even.

Well, that's good news. It's storming pretty fierce and driving to the gym doesn't sound to enticing.

I'll make sure to hit the cardio really hard tomorrow since I slacked a bit today on both cardio and food amounts. Sadly, I'm still hungry tonite.

Drink some water. Sometimes the body disguises thirst as hunger. Not sure why, but just drink a nice big glass of water.

themusicdude

I drink a LOT of water. I don't even bother to track it anymore, because I'm drinking constantly. I refill my 32 oz bottle about five times a day, plus I drink about 64 oz at work. I actually like it plain.

ggbun

Have you heard of a book called the Beck Diet Solution? It isn't a diet per se, but a cognitive behavioural therapy program for weight loss. It has helped me in a lot of ways, dealing with my stumbling blocks and helping me stay highly motivated. I got it from the library the first time I read it - maybe you might find it helpful?

themusicdude

Thank you for the book recommendation. I'll check it out!

jlynnm70

MusicDude - I wish you the best! You can get tons of information and support in here - and that makes all the difference in the world.

Tips for you that I have learned over time.

1. Take small steps. make one or two small changes at a time. Too often people (Yes Me!) go all out, cut calories, cut all 'junk' food, exercise like crazy - just to burnout in a month or so. First I gave up soda - I gave it up entirely to get it out of my system for about 3 weeks - now I can have 1 or 2 a month and be fine without drinking the whole 6 pack (and I don't drink the diet stuff-can't stand it)

2. Drink LOTS of water - it makes all the difference - Basically if I want to eat I have to drink. Drink a big glass before a meal, and with the meal. I keep a pint glass on the counter by the sink (I work in a converted house so I can do this at work and home) and drink everytime I go in there. This keeps you from being so hungry.

3. Find simple solutions or swaps that you can live with. I get my caffeine from my coffee now - less cals than that 6 pack of soda - even with fat free cream and sweetner - I'm better off. I have sugar free chocolate pudding and jello for evening treats.

4. Don't give up anything that you don't want to give up forever. Yes I still have pop, chocolate, chips, all of it. Some I cut out for a while to break a cycle (like the pop) but I never said it would be forever. I traded the pop for more water - so it's better all around.

5. Don't beat yourself up over a bad day/week/meal whichever - it happens - you didn't get to your weight overnight you can't lose it overnight either.

6. LOG LOG LOG. Even if you don't share your diary - it makes you think about what you are putting in your mouth if you log it. I love the 'scanner' on my phone. makes entering stuff pretty simple.

7. Move - you don't have to do a lot - just try to move more than you did before. If you are watching TV -get up every commercial break and make a lap around the house (and get some water while you are up) I know you said you go to the gym - I just started, but my activity level at work (desk all day) is more than it used to be. I walk at lunch weather permitting - I get a mile in a few times a week. I do jumping jacks everytime I go to the restroom - which is pretty often because of the water I now drink. It may not be much - but it probably gets me from 'sedentary' to 'lightly active'

All these might not work for you - but this is the longest I've lasted and I don't feel deprived, burnt out, or anything this time. So I feel like by making the changes slowly, I am making lifestyle changes that I can keep up.

Feel free to friend me if you want.

lonnieh2

1) I would recommend getting at Fitbit...that way you will have a way of tracking how active you are and can make adjustments. My goal is 10,000 steps a day. That's a good way to think because it takes the pressure to "work out" out of the equation. You don't need a gym...can walk in a circle and burn calories. They are 60 bucks and sync with your phone or computer.

2) Always try to eat under you calorie goal. Sounds simple but as long as you do you will generally lose weight. If you slip up...walk more the next day. I don't deprive myself of anything...I just walk an extra 20 minutes to cover it.

3) BIG ONE HERE> It's helpful for me to break the whole process down to bite sized chunks and keep breaking it down till I cant say no. For example.... Instead of thinking...I have to lose 100 pounds. Say I'm going to try and lose 3lbs this week instead. Instead of saying I'm going to work out hard this week. Say...I'm going to try to work out today and tomorrow. When tomorrow comes...say the same thing. If you don't feel like working out today...say...I'm going to work out for 5 minutes. Everyone has five minutes. The point is DO SOMETHING...it all counts and it all adds up. If you only have 15 in the morning....do it. Then do another 15 minutes at night. That 30 minutes a day. Your body doesn't care how or when you burn calories...just that you do it. Its a marathon ...not a sprint. You don't know how many times I have said to myself..."just make it till tuesday". I'm now down 65 pounds.

4) Get your rest! You always feel better about working out if you have had a good nights sleep. Turn off the computer or TV and sleep...you will feel better, more motivated and workout harder.

5) I love my caffeine too. Drink Green tea.(no sugar) Once you get used to the taste... it has caffeine and will even help you lose weight.

6) Promise yourself you will not give up...no mater what. Everyday...get back up on that horse and try again. Everyday is a new day. No matter what you didn't do or ate yesterday....today is a brand new day to get it right. And in the spirit of breaking it down into smaller chunks..even if I had a fattening lunch...it doesn't mean I have to have a fattening dinner. Keep pushing forward.

7) ANOTHER BIG ONE>...remember...the better you eat...the more you work out...the faster your body will "get it" and help you. Your brain and body are really slow on the uptake. In your mid...you are ready to lose weight...but it can take a 3 weeks to 5 weeks for your body to say to itself..."hey she's trying to eat right and work out...maybe we should help her out by reducing her cravings for crap and upping her energy". Most people give up after a month...just when their body was starting to change itself to start helping out. Keep at it...your body will eventually "come around" and begin to make everything easier...but remember it's stooopid and slow....so give it plenty of time to catch on. Usually it takes 5 weeks after you make the change for the body to fully adjust. So keep pushing it. If you are patient with it... its potential is limitless. Just look at body builders.

8) Finally...make a point of going to the grocery store whenever you can or need to. Buy healthy stuff and always keep your fridge or house stocked with it. Always. Hunger is the enemy. It will trick you into slipping up. I find that having nuts handy is huge! Almonds, walnuts...pick your favorite. When you are hungry you eat a handful and the hunger goes away. They are great protien...they are filling they are good fats..and they have a ton of anti-oxidants. You cannot go wrong with them. They can get you from healthy meal to meal better than anything. You can buy them in bulk at stores like Whole Foods or Trader Joes and they are much less expensive. I spend 10 bucks on huge bag that lasts me two weeks.

Good luck. You can do this. Just make up your mind and friggen do it. 6 months and 30, 40, 50, 60 pounds later you will wonder why you didn't start earlier.