Advice

flameh
flameh Posts: 3 Member
in Motivation and Support
Okay I'm not sure how to say this, but I recently wanted to change my weight for the better and I've lost 60 pounds, and have a bit more to go to get where I want to be. But my sister came up to me a week ago, and told me that mom started bashing on me about my weight. Not to my face but to my little sister's face who already has self esteem issues and thinks she's majorly fat too. When she's not, and I'm not. I just have a little I need to lose. But I'm not sure how to handle my own mother saying that. The first week I just wanted to not eat, not do anything but shed any weight fast so she couldn't say anything about me. My own mother is not very skinny, but she still goes out of her way to make these comments when we are trying to do better for ourselves. I'd love some advice on how to handle her without confronting her on it. Because what makes it even worse is I got protein powder cause I wanted to try it, and she asks me is that gonna help you lose weight? If it kills you then I guess I'm out of luck. And I'm just like..why would you say that to your own child who gave up going to a specific college just to help around the house. I don't get it, and it hurts me a lot...and I'm reaching the point of just saying screw it all and stop caring about anything.

Replies

  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
    Use it as motivation to become bad *kitten*.
  • lisaabenjamin
    lisaabenjamin Posts: 665 Member
    Sounds like someone's jealous that they're no longer in control of your life.

    Do you still live with your mom? If so, move out!
  • thepetiterunner
    thepetiterunner Posts: 1,238 Member
    It's hurtful when the people you care about can't or won't be supportive for you. It's disappointing.

    If you're not willing to confront her on this, then you'll need to develop some other coping mechanisms: ignoring her, not being around her, etc.

    Remember that her comments are more a reflection of HER than you. It has little to do with you and more to do with the fact that she is unhappy in HER skin and is projecting that on to you. You're doing really well and you can be there to support your sister. Concentrate on that and leave her to her own self pity. Sounds apathetic, but not everyone can come on this journey with you.
  • lyzmorrison
    lyzmorrison Posts: 172 Member
    The only way you can "win" this battle is to realize that your mother's issues aren't your issues. You don't get your self worth or your value from her. You don't. Just keep working hard and do this for yourself. Not for her. Not for your sister. Not for the cute guy that you have a secret crush on. Do it for YOURSELF. What your mother says or does is of no importance.
  • Jenni129
    Jenni129 Posts: 692 Member
    Maybe try not to over think stuff and don't let other people's drama get to you. Ignore the negative comments and leave the room if you have to. I've told people to their face to keep their insults to themselves before --- it's funny to see their reaction. :laugh:

    Keep coming to MFP if you want more positive encouragement! :smile:
  • tammyternosky
    tammyternosky Posts: 1
    Sorry that you feel you are not being encouraged by your mom....You need to do this for you NOT FOR ANYONE ELSE BUT YOU!! You are WORTH it!! Hang in there, stay focused on your goals and not the nay sayers~
  • bstender82
    bstender82 Posts: 14 Member
    I'm so sorry you have to deal with your mother being so awful.. That's not the way it's suppose to be and there is no excuse for her behaving that way you and your sister deserve better and she probably needs therapy. As for your weight loss journey, you've already lost 60lb -- WOW and congrats your clearly not a quitter and have already done something most people can't comprehend.. So please don't let anyone define who you are and what you do by their inexcusable behavior.
  • flameh
    flameh Posts: 3 Member
    Thank you all! I'm doing my best right now. Trying to eat better, and work out a little more then I usually do. Since I'm active enough to not be considered completely inactive. But it's really a hard thing to do when I see her eating all this junk food, and drinking like four sodas a day. I mean I get she's always on her feet...but that doesn't even sound healthy. And it's worrying me that my siblings are going to lose their mother at the age of fifty or sixty because she keeps eating that way. Though I'm also not entirely sure how to eat healthier on a budget. I'm going to be moving in with my boyfriend and daughter sometime in the next year or so. And we don't have a lot of money. So I'm trying to figure that out too. Thanks for the advice really. My weight keeps going down and all I'm thinking about is getting a healthy weight not being overly skinny.

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