being stuffed but eating only 800 calories
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In my opinion there is no need to kill animals. period. I strongly believe that you can get the nutrients you need given today's level of technology for EFA's, it takes the foresight and the will and resources. Granted it's more expensive and not the 'same' in texture and taste but those are not necessary for a healthy lifestyle. I regard meat as dead animal.
People are so used to processed way of living that they only know they get food fro the big box store, and I try not to make those choices myself even in my personal situation because I feel it's the right thing to do.
To keep it short the animal no matter how nice their life was stops living by the use of someone's tool/machine. It's more disturbing that even when its mechanized halal or kosher slaughter, where they keep them alive to drain blood. I'm not sure why they think that any better than using an air impact gun to stun/kill a cow in the head.
Dried fruit is similar to fruit juices except they leave in the fibre so you at least get that. Dried fruits are a wonderful source of long term storage food although you could just eat whole fruit. They also typically add other things like preservatives and they are a very expensive which is another requirement I'd need.0 -
Well,I've never been in your situation but : the body takes time in adapting to any such change,and you should let it..Increase your intake slowly,don't force yourself to change your eating habits on an immediate basis..
And ofcourse,foods with more calorific density will help.Doesn't mean that you should stuff yourself with unhealthy fats though.
I think drinking 2-3 glasses of whole milk can really help in increasing calories in healthy manner and it won't make you that full either.You can add sugars and whatever flavours you like!0 -
In my opinion there is no need to kill animals. period. I strongly believe that you can get the nutrients you need given today's level of technology for EFA's, it takes the foresight and the will and resources. Granted it's more expensive and not the 'same' in texture and taste but those are not necessary for a healthy lifestyle. I regard meat as dead animal.
People are so used to processed way of living that they only know they get food fro the big box store, and I try not to make those choices myself even in my personal situation because I feel it's the right thing to do.
To keep it short the animal no matter how nice their life was stops living by the use of someone's tool/machine. It's more disturbing that even when its mechanized halal or kosher slaughter, where they keep them alive to drain blood. I'm not sure why they think that any better than using an air impact gun to stun/kill a cow in the head.
Dried fruit is similar to fruit juices except they leave in the fibre so you at least get that. Dried fruits are a wonderful source of long term storage food although you could just eat whole fruit. They also typically add other things like preservatives and they are a very expensive which is another requirement I'd need.
Well since you had to go there with your beliefs, I am happy to say that I eat wild meat that my family kills to keep the deer populations from dying of winter kill or things like chronic wasting diseases. Maybe you live in a city but I live somewhere where I am prey as well as predator. My role as prey helps me to understand the food chain very well. If wolves, bears and mountain lions were a real daily part of your life, you might see things differently. It's all about world view and I don't impose humanistic qualities upon wild animals. They eat each other. I watch it regularly. I don't have to buy it processed. I can shoot it with a gun and skin it and eat it myself.0 -
@Kellyemontana, in terms of an overall lifestyle I'm not against hunters or even nature lovers, that eat, prep and make there on kill. I do have issues when it's doesn't involve any skill (like putting a grenade into a lake to 'fish') however that doesn't belong on a weight loss board.
You've mentioned things that are definitely better than a the buy it from a box store and actually don't want to know about the processes and simply say "I like it" and I deserve it. At least understand what it's doing to the planet as well as what it does to your body.0 -
I agree with Alice about the 1400 kcal a day and the excess fat not being too helpful. Maybe you can try eat 4 or 5 meals a day plus small snacks in between instead of 3 big meals. Also, i find that i get hungry fast after drinking a smoothie or juice from the juicer. A smoothie usually runs 300 to 400 cal, so thats pretty good. Some others have mentioned nuts and dairy, those are great for caleries and nutrition.0
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With all the various restrictions you've listed, you're going to have a very hard time getting the nutrients and calories you need. You're probably going to have to make some concessions somewhere.
Let's recap, since they're all scattered:
PCOS
Gluten intolerant
Lactose intolerant
Vegan
Very mindful of Omega-6 fats
Not much money to spend on food
The gluten, lactose, and PCOS pretty much by default cut out a large number of inexpensive veg*n nutrient dense foods (since soy is/should be off the table due to the high level of phytoestrogens, and beans are questionable, due to their high starch content, both issues can exacerbate PCOS).
The money situation, of course, isn't really something you can change easily. Ideally, you could reallocate funds to food, but that only works for so long.
That leaves two things that are choices -- being vegan and being mindful of Omega-6. Now, both of them, especially in isolation, are good things to be mindful of, but I'm not entirely convinced that they're not a side effect of your ED (the money thing may be, too, at least to some extent, but I have no insight into your financial decisions). Every person I know that has had an ED have stated that you never really "get over it." You deal with it the tendencies the rest of your life. Keeping from succumbing to it requires conscious and semi-conscious choices every day.
The reason I say this is because of the reasons you've given, vs your current situation.
You state that you believe that you can get all nutrients without resorting to killing animals. Yet, there are a few things wrong with that --
a. you have several compounding issues that will make doing so more difficult than it already is, and already putting a number of not-easy restrictions on you (and I understand first-hand, I have PCOS and am gluten intolerant as well)
b. you're not getting the nutrients you need (including raw calories)
c. you don't have the money you yourself said needs invested in order to do it properly
d. you're relying on "boxed processed" stuff from a store to fill in the gaps, particularly for EFAs and certain vitamins, something you just accused non-vegans of doing (which, by the way, there is a middle ground between someone who hunts and someone who buys crap from a big-box supermarket without a care for where it came from or the process by which it got to that point)
e. you're almost overly mindful of Omega-6s, to the point of turning down one of the few calorie and nutrient-dense foods that still work with all of your other restrictions, despite having a presumably healthy diet that's very likely low in fat in general, and low in Omega-6 already (side note - it's not so much the raw number of Omega-6 fats that 's the problem, it's the disproportion with Omega-3s)
Now, where you make the concessions is going to depend entirely on you, but right now, your immediate health can't really handle all of the restrictions you have. Maybe at some point, you'll be able to achieve all of your goals, but at the moment, having them all is doing more harm than good.
I also second the recommendation for probiotics that people have mentioned. There are both soy and coconut yogurts on the market, you can also make your own fermented foods, including kombucha, sodas, water kefir, sauerkraut, and more.0 -
Has anyone had a long term eating disorder (if just eating 800-1100 calories qualifies) and want to eat more but your body just feels full when you eat more?
I'm trying to eat more and did for a few days eating 1400 a day and I feel bloated when I eat. I can't use the 'I'm full' as a gauge because I'm finding it really hard to eat 1400 nevermind the 1800-2000 I should be eating. Do you eat fat just to get the calories you need?
I have pcos and fibro so the advice may be different for me in terms of metabolism.
Edited: read further into the responses and noticed your dietary restrictions. I'm not familiar with a lot of what you've listed.
P.S., "if just eating 800-1100 calories qualifies" ... yes, it qualifies. 1,500 would qualify, 200 would qualify, 0 qualifies. There are several factors that contribute to and fit the criteria of an eating disorder- most of which are psychological with physical side effects. We won't get into what goes on in my head from time to time, though a far cry from what I was dealing with a few years ago and then a few years before that.0 -
There are pills you can get from the pharmacy for when you have antibiotics which are totally destructive to your gut flora. Get those, and that may be a start.
As a recovering former ed-nos with orthorexic tendencies, that horrifies me. :laugh: Guess some things don't change!0 -
You state that you believe that you can get all nutrients without resorting to killing animals. Yet, there are a few things wrong with that --
I grew up knowing (and still know) a natural medicines expert that swears up and down he's never met a healthy veg*n. Hes been counseling my dad on his diet since my dad completed all of his cancer treatments and my dad made a joke about just converting to veg*nism after reading the dietary restrictions he was supposed to adhere to for the next six weeks, and this guy strongly advised against it, due in large part to the impact it can have on the heath of a person that is not physiologically compatible with the diet.0 -
Great advice! Very doable and you are right, few little modifications should quickly add up.0
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With all the various restrictions you've listed, you're going to have a very hard time getting the nutrients and calories you need. You're probably going to have to make some concessions somewhere.
Let's recap, since they're all scattered:
PCOS
Gluten intolerant
Lactose intolerant
Vegan
Very mindful of Omega-6 fats
Not much money to spend on food
The gluten, lactose, and PCOS pretty much by default cut out a large number of inexpensive veg*n nutrient dense foods (since soy is/should be off the table due to the high level of phytoestrogens, and beans are questionable, due to their high starch content, both issues can exacerbate PCOS).
The money situation, of course, isn't really something you can change easily. Ideally, you could reallocate funds to food, but that only works for so long.
That leaves two things that are choices -- being vegan and being mindful of Omega-6. Now, both of them, especially in isolation, are good things to be mindful of, but I'm not entirely convinced that they're not a side effect of your ED (the money thing may be, too, at least to some extent, but I have no insight into your financial decisions). Every person I know that has had an ED have stated that you never really "get over it." You deal with it the tendencies the rest of your life. Keeping from succumbing to it requires conscious and semi-conscious choices every day.
The reason I say this is because of the reasons you've given, vs your current situation.
You state that you believe that you can get all nutrients without resorting to killing animals. Yet, there are a few things wrong with that --
a. you have several compounding issues that will make doing so more difficult than it already is, and already putting a number of not-easy restrictions on you (and I understand first-hand, I have PCOS and am gluten intolerant as well)
b. you're not getting the nutrients you need (including raw calories)
c. you don't have the money you yourself said needs invested in order to do it properly
d. you're relying on "boxed processed" stuff from a store to fill in the gaps, particularly for EFAs and certain vitamins, something you just accused non-vegans of doing (which, by the way, there is a middle ground between someone who hunts and someone who buys crap from a big-box supermarket without a care for where it came from or the process by which it got to that point)
e. you're almost overly mindful of Omega-6s, to the point of turning down one of the few calorie and nutrient-dense foods that still work with all of your other restrictions, despite having a presumably healthy diet that's very likely low in fat in general, and low in Omega-6 already (side note - it's not so much the raw number of Omega-6 fats that 's the problem, it's the disproportion with Omega-3s)
Now, where you make the concessions is going to depend entirely on you, but right now, your immediate health can't really handle all of the restrictions you have. Maybe at some point, you'll be able to achieve all of your goals, but at the moment, having them all is doing more harm than good.
I also second the recommendation for probiotics that people have mentioned. There are both soy and coconut yogurts on the market, you can also make your own fermented foods, including kombucha, sodas, water kefir, sauerkraut, and more.
this^^^^0 -
With all the various restrictions you've listed, you're going to have a very hard time getting the nutrients and calories you need. You're probably going to have to make some concessions somewhere.
Let's recap, since they're all scattered:
PCOS
Gluten intolerant
Lactose intolerant
Vegan
Very mindful of Omega-6 fats
Not much money to spend on food
Firstly @Dragon Wolf thank you for your reply and I wanted to clarify a little in case anyone is following these threads that Omega-6 balance is important for anyone and most peoples balance is off. I only mention it because I’m just mindful of it but it's not a strict thing I’m avoiding all together. I need calories and willing to consume such sources if it was available to me (peanuts/nuts etc).
My processed vitamins costs me out of pocket 5$ per month, the rest of the stuff I receive as a donation so it is not something I can switch out and buy food with. Even my food is currently being gifted because I don't have income myself. The amount I do get isn't enough to eat from and it's been that way for most of my life. A low calorie diet actually helped financially but I know it's not the way to go.
I don't remember saying I didn't like processed stuff but I will admit to disliking processed sugar, fats and high salts that are typically in processed foods but I don’t remember talking about this. I’m sorry if I was projecting this thought. It is a choice to eat it or not and I suppose that is my bias a lot of processed foods have this. To me it's just being mindful of the junk that’s out there. I'm just aware there is gluten and sugar in many boxed products and so I avoid them.
Gluten intolerant, I can handle gluten in low dosage but if I eat too much then I get problems.
I am unsure if I am lactose intolerant, but it sounds like I am. I just avoid it for the vegan aspect as well it hurts to actually eat. I will however look at the probiotics and see if I can find a vegan non soy (because I believe I have to avoid the phytoestrogen) yogurt although I will admit I don't like the texture.
I've read a lot about how helpful a low protein based diet is (I consume about 150grams of carbs and 50-60grams of protien as it is) but right now I can't go increasing it because it's just not affordable. I hope to find an affordable substitute but I realize it may not exist at the price point I need.
Being vegan is a personal choice and I am keeping an open mind and will do it if a qualified doctor tells me that I'm deficient because of it. If I am capable I will find vegan alternatives for it.
I realize I may be too strict with my personal choices and really financially I have no control over that because of non pcos realities I have to deal with on a daily basis. I am slowy getting help so that is a slow ongoing process. I am trying and very thankful that I can have a dialog with everyone here.0 -
Reading through your responses, I'm not sure you're ready/willing to change anything you're doing. If that's the case, it's okay, but you are going to keep getting the same results that you have been getting.
Believe me when I say that I understand your reasons for being vegan. I share them. I've been a vegetarian since I was 11 and was a vegan for a long time. It works for some people and doesn't work for others. It just so happens that my body likes and needs lots of protein and fat -- I would do great if I could just eat steak and broccoli every day, but I just can't do it. I had to start eating eggs and dairy again because I was making myself sick and the bottom line was that I either had to change something or I could stay sick.
When you have that many restrictions, you lose the ability to say "I don't like X." At the moment, I've had my fill of protein powder and could happily live the rest of my life never having another stupid protein shake. My options are: drink the protein powder, eat a steak or go back to being protein deficient and sick. No matter how much I argue, those are still my options (until they invent a protein pill, and I'm not holding my breath).
You know you need to eat more. You need to get there however you can. Or you can keep doing what you've been doing and you'll stay in the same place as you are now. As much as it would be awesome if this happened, nobody is going to come along in this thread and say "all you need to do is eat this one newly-discovered Amazonian berry and all your problems will be gone!" Nothing like that exists in this world.
I'm not saying you need to eat meat. I'm saying that you need to be open to other ideas if you want different results.0 -
Have you tried smaller meals spaced out every few hrs (200-300 calories)? I had the same thing when I started losing. I ate, for example, fiber toasted with 1 tbsp of peanut butter, then a low carb wrap with salad veggies and a lil dressing, an apple, 1/2 a sandwich etc. I just spaced little snacks/ meals through out the day and that constantly being full on next to no calories stopped soon after. best of luck!0
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Has anyone had a long term eating disorder (if just eating 800-1100 calories qualifies) and want to eat more but your body just feels full when you eat more?
I'm trying to eat more and did for a few days eating 1400 a day and I feel bloated when I eat. I can't use the 'I'm full' as a gauge because I'm finding it really hard to eat 1400 nevermind the 1800-2000 I should be eating. Do you eat fat just to get the calories you need?
I have pcos and fibro so the advice may be different for me in terms of metabolism.
I am sorry to hear about the pcos and fibro. what does your doctor say about those conditions in terms of metabolism? are you on medications that are affecting your metabolism?
The reason I ask, in part, because I read your profile and you seem unhappy with your current weight (you noted it being heavier than you would like), but you've been eating 800 calories for an extended period? Have you been losing weight on an 800 calorie restriction? If you haven't been losing on 800 calories per day, I am just wondering what else is going on? Have you had your thyroid checked?
Note: I will say the obvious so my questions are not miscontrued...yes, you should definitely be eating more calories regardless of your weight loss goal for basic health.0 -
i'm sorry about your struggles, but it seems like to every suggestion, something else pops up - btw, i'm vegan; btw, i'm lactose intolerant; btw, i don't like the texture of avocados; btw, i don't like the texture of yogurt; btw, gluten intolerant, etc. etc. etc.
it just seems like you aren't really looking for a fix. what it seems like to me is that you are looking for someone to validate you eating 800 calories a day. i'll be honest, i felt great eating 500 - 1000 calories a day. i lost weight. i had energy to go to the gym and i was never hungry. i didn't see anything wrong with it and when i heard other people doing the same thing, it validated me. i've changed my way of thinking, but i've been there and to me, it seems like you are fishing for someone to say it's ok.0 -
i'm sorry about your struggles, but it seems like to every suggestion, something else pops up - btw, i'm vegan; btw, i'm lactose intolerant; btw, i don't like the texture of avocados; btw, i don't like the texture of yogurt; btw, gluten intolerant, etc. etc. etc.
it just seems like you aren't really looking for a fix. what it seems like to me is that you are looking for someone to validate you eating 800 calories a day. i'll be honest, i felt great eating 500 - 1000 calories a day. i lost weight. i had energy to go to the gym and i was never hungry. i didn't see anything wrong with it and when i heard other people doing the same thing, it validated me. i've changed my way of thinking, but i've been there and to me, it seems like you are fishing for someone to say it's ok.
Have to agree with this...
Having recovered (and relapsed building weight currently) its very reassuring I know to have your intake/eating habits and behaviors validated by others, but your only going to recover properly if you get stop trying to get this from other members on here.
Have you actually be tested for your intolerences? I thought I was lactose intolerent for a long time but really it was just my low weight screwing up with my digestion. I'm now drinking milk and its a brilliant calorie source. If not, you can still get a good sauce of calories and good fats from nut milks.
Sometimes you've just got to get on with it and eat foods you may not prefer to increase your weight. At the end of the day you've got to take responsibility for yourself.0 -
i was eating on average 800, dropped to 400 for a bit and am now on about 1,300 a day. At first i got very tearful and found it difficult to eat that much, now I'm absolutely ravenous and after a week or so of forcing myself to eat more i completely adjusted. Also I have lost weight because my body is not in starvation mode, it becomes a lot easier to get full - maybe start by eating calorfic foods that aren't as filling as what you would usually eat?0
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Are you trying to lose or gain? I'm confused?0
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Eat a cheeseburger0
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Are you trying to lose or gain? I'm confused?
this is partially the point I was trying to make earlier without coming out and asking. if you are overweight by 30-50 pounds (I thought that is what you said in your profile, but I do not recall) and having been eating 800 calories for some time...you should be dropping weight rather consistently. that is why I asked if the doctor suggested your current medical conditions (or potential medications) were preventing a loss. in addition, this is why I asked if you had a potential thyroid issue. or perhaps you are losing weight and are just concerned it is the wrong approach? if the latter is the issue/question...I would perhaps seek out a nutritionist that can help you devise a menu that you are comfortable with (including your vegan beliefs) so that you can get as much out of your daily diet as possible. he/she would also be able to work with you on increasing calorie levels and spacing out meals and snacks.
if you are not losing weight on 800 calories a day (not that you should be trying to) you should speak to your medical doctor immediately and discuss what underlying medical conditions may possibly be at work.0 -
Are you trying to lose or gain? I'm confused?
this is partially the point I was trying to make earlier without coming out and asking. if you are overweight by 30-50 pounds (I thought that is what you said in your profile, but I do not recall) and having been eating 800 calories for some time...you should be dropping weight rather consistently. that is why I asked if the doctor suggested your current medical conditions (or potential medications) were preventing a loss. in addition, this is why I asked if you had a potential thyroid issue. or perhaps you are losing weight and are just concerned it is the wrong approach? if the latter is the issue/question...I would perhaps seek out a nutritionist that can help you devise a menu that you are comfortable with (including your vegan beliefs) so that you can get as much out of your daily diet as possible. he/she would also be able to work with you on increasing calorie levels and spacing out meals and snacks.
if you are not losing weight on 800 calories a day (not that you should be trying to) you should speak to your medical doctor immediately and discuss what underlying medical conditions may possibly be at work.0 -
Are you trying to lose or gain? I'm confused?
In my first post I did mention that I am trying to eat more so I thought gaining weight group would have the experience that people could relate to. I am trying to loose weight but the simple formula of calories in and out don't work for me because my metabolism is not running as fast as it should. Part of the recovery process my doctor has told me to eat more roughly 1000 more than I'm used to.
PCOS is making my weight issues harder to deal with but I do know my thyroid and symptoms of diabetes is not present based on doctors examination.
I'd love to see a nutritionals but I’m not able to pay to see one, so I'm doing the best I can online; my only resource.
I was loosing at 800 calories (sometimes dropping to 400 calories with all the exercise I was doing) I did drop weight (muscle and fat) but I hit a wall when I hit 33% of body fat at 191 as well as my fatigue symptoms made live unlivable having PCOS and fibro is not simple to deal with.if you are not losing weight on 800 calories a day (not that you should be trying to) you should speak to your medical doctor immediately and discuss what underlying medical conditions may possibly be at work.
I don't have a doctor that I can just drop in (free clinics aren't that good). But but the two I've seen that have been competent/not overloaded with other patients, told me everything else checks fine other than the PCOS and fibro (mind you it is based on a cursory glance). I have unanswered questions about my metabolism but I've told it's exceedingly rare. I have a lot of other medical and emotional issues but I won't share them here.
I've been told explicitly to eat more and I'm trying to comply, I hope that answers the question.0 -
I wish this were my problem. I'd head to Marble Slab multiple times per week if I was struggling to get calories in. I definitely don't need to be hungry to eat ice cream.0
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Peanut butter, hummus (ready made), dried fruit (raisins being cheapest), bananas and potatoes are cheap and high calorie as well. I would add canned coconut milk (to coffee or tea), and use corn tortillas/fat free refried beans as a gluten free sandwich replacement. Canned sweet corn helps to round out the meal.
Consider adding fat, like natures balance soy free margerine to potatoes or other veg.
I don't understand ednos, Or anorexia, but I do know poverty fairly well. Those foods are what I would recommend to a starving vegan.
Corn tortillas and corn chex/rice chex are gluten free options that are available on a food stamp budget.0 -
I was just wondering about the other whole grains.
I know the PCOS causes diabetic tendencies but barley or oats, low GI, sometimes are acceptable to someone gluten intolerant, and can be made into varying different yummy things. It's the simple carbs that are a danger for people with diabetic tendencies, not ALL carbs.
There's a recipe on here for oats, mashed banana, admittedly some peanut butter, baked into a cookie. You might slide that past the PCOS and the gluten intolerance, and although it's not particularly high calorie you could probably make it with some oil in it.
Barley can be the basis for some very nice soups, and it has protein in it. What about quinoa? Beans?
Refried beans have protein and are yummy and are cheap.
I do not understand why people are talking so much about dietary implications of PCOS though - my daughter has it and provided she maintains a healthy weight and doesn't pig out on the lollies she has no difficulties of any kind. What difficulties are you experiencing? maybe they're ahead of my daughter...0 -
Are you trying to lose or gain? I'm confused?
In my first post I did mention that I am trying to eat more so I thought gaining weight group would have the experience that people could relate to. I am trying to loose weight but the simple formula of calories in and out don't work for me because my metabolism is not running as fast as it should. Part of the recovery process my doctor has told me to eat more roughly 1000 more than I'm used to.
PCOS is making my weight issues harder to deal with but I do know my thyroid and symptoms of diabetes is not present based on doctors examination.
I'd love to see a nutritionals but I’m not able to pay to see one, so I'm doing the best I can online; my only resource.
I was loosing at 800 calories (sometimes dropping to 400 calories with all the exercise I was doing) I did drop weight (muscle and fat) but I hit a wall when I hit 33% of body fat at 191 as well as my fatigue symptoms made live unlivable having PCOS and fibro is not simple to deal with.if you are not losing weight on 800 calories a day (not that you should be trying to) you should speak to your medical doctor immediately and discuss what underlying medical conditions may possibly be at work.
I don't have a doctor that I can just drop in (free clinics aren't that good). But but the two I've seen that have been competent/not overloaded with other patients, told me everything else checks fine other than the PCOS and fibro (mind you it is based on a cursory glance). I have unanswered questions about my metabolism but I've told it's exceedingly rare. I have a lot of other medical and emotional issues but I won't share them here.
I've been told explicitly to eat more and I'm trying to comply, I hope that answers the question.
I think it is great you are trying to eat more. 800 calories is too low without question. I was just asking because I wondered if you had medical problems that was preventing weight loss at such a deficit. Based on the comments, I hope you can find some foods that work into your meal plan. Good luck.0 -
I do not understand why people are talking so much about dietary implications of PCOS though - my daughter has it and provided she maintains a healthy weight and doesn't pig out on the lollies she has no difficulties of any kind. What difficulties are you experiencing? maybe they're ahead of my daughter...
just to clarify my questions/comments. I asked about PCOS, but I have no idea (either personal experience or through friends) if it hinders weighloss. However, I have heard it mentioned before...so that is why i asked. Also, if there are any particular medications used to treat PCOS (not sure if there are), I was inquiring as to what effect, if any, they have on weightloss.
It just seems like something is wrong if one's body will not lose weight at 800 calories unless they were so tiny that 800 was maintenance for them (which would be a young child). So, when I hear that I think there may be a medical issue at play.0 -
There is a medication to help with PCOS, but so does a low carb diet. I am a little baffled by this whole post. You have medical conditions which respond to specific diets in order to create/maintain optimum health, and you've made a lifestyle choice that undermines that very thing. I get the moral implications, but at some point you have to put your health above your convictions if you can't do both (and it is clear it would be very difficult under regular circumstances, but it seems impossible with your current financial situation).0
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PEANUT BUTTER!!0
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