Not getting support anymore

jmcniel

Keep at it. If you know that you are doing your best, that is all that you can hope for.

jmcniel

My mom is the same way! It's like if I'm smaller than her then she just can't handle it. She even accuses me of sabotaging my husband's diet so I will be smaller than everyone. Hell I weighed more than all of them a few years ago and it's ridiculous.

You look amazing, don't listen to them.

Yeah, well if your mom would drop the 1/2 gallon of blue bell and 1 pound bacon sandwiches, she might get results.

islandnutshel

I feel for everyone going through this, as I too am getting back handed compliments when family admitted they noticed (I lost 30 pouds) So now when anyone mentions it I emphasise how this has improved my health. "Thanks, I am doing this so that I feel less back pain." or "I've been focusing on eating healthy and I've noticed my energy and moods have improved so much." Focus on anything other then the fact that we are feeling sexy in our new skin. That's for our partner to notice.

bsexton3

Told my wife what your sister said. Her reply was, that's another incentive. She can't borrow your clothes. Let her know if she gets down a size, she can borrow it.

A few years a go, we took a once in a lifetime trip before my daughter's senior year in high school. Everyone complained that they couldn't afford a trip, how could we. We simply asked, "How many times do you eat out each week?" When we told them we hadn't eaten out for two years and cut back on Christmas presents, etc. to save for the trip. They could do it if it was a priority.

The same is true with diet, weight and lifestyle. I choose to spend a week's vacation cycling across Washington state. Most think it is crazy. I think it is crazy to simply lay on the beach or sit in a chair at a casino. We all make choices. When it comes to eating and weight, these are the choices I am making for me. I am not making them for you.

kymarai

When my friend lost 100 lbs, she met a lot of resistance from family especially. I hope I was as supportive of her as she was of me when I quit smoking each time! I am finding lots of support and help on MFP! Use this site as your support and keep up the great work!

cutmd

I understand. I am the only one in the family really into fitness now. I was initially applauded at becoming toned and smaller, but now I'm more likely to hear "you aren't trying to lose more weight are you?", and have had an overweight clerk at work pull me aside and tell me to eat. I think it's not always jealousy. Change can be scary and weird in those you love. I remember a coworker of mine lost a lot of weight and went from obese to a normal size, but for the first few months he looked like he had gotten sick to me because I was used to his heavier weight. I try to think about that now when people fret I am going to disappear. :laugh:

For the record, the OP is only a US size 6 and her "size 12 sister" is an 8. So likely neither of them are overweight. You do have to be sooo careful when putting someone's size or weight into the same sentence with fat :flowerforyou:

MzBug

I always hated the false smiles and the "Oh don't you look good!" You could almost see the mental eye roll they were doing. I have a mirror, I know I am fat, don't patronize me. Last time I tried to lose a lot of weight I did manage to lose 25 pounds and get to 250....I got the wide eyed looks and the "You are a stick! " " Don't need to lose more"... Riiiight. I know people thought they were being encouraging, thought they were being helpful, but all it did was piss me off. I would just smile and nod. I herniated 2 discs in my back and gave up the diet. I gained it all back plus a little more over the following 2 years.

This time the only person that knows I have changed my lifestyle is my boyfriend. I didn't tell my family, or his. I didn't tell my friends either. I saw everyone between May and June, I figure I will see everyone again around Christmas. By then I should be down about 50 pounds. I am thinking that by then I should have it well in control and be able to just continue to smile and nod when the comments start. I just seem to do better without them. None of them have had to lose more than 10 pounds (and OMG you would think they had performed a miracle!).

I like the kind of support I get on MFP, I know you guys mean it. You have been there, are there, and know how diffucult it can be. We know how to laugh at pants falling around the ankles, the droopy drawers, the near obsesive measuring and the need for the internet connection! We celebrate the small things that make a difference, the first time you actually jog, the first time you make it thru Shred, the discovery of a low cal/low fat treat. You GET IT. They don't.

I am sorry your family isn't supportive anymore, but you still have US! We understand and we got your back! Keep up the great work!