Starting again - unhelpful comments
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nicolacx
Posts: 25
Hi All,
Big fan of MFP it always works when i use it - but when I don't use I seem to go a bit mad and put loads on!!
Anyhow over the last year I've put on 3 stone and decided that last week I was going to eat clean and start my weight loss and getting into shape.
Today, a woman who retired 3 years ago came into the office and the first thing she said to me in front of the whole office was "God uve put on a lot of weight"
Not hello - not nice to see you - just that!!!
Has anyone else had such unpleasantness?! I just thought what a rude horrible woman!!
Big fan of MFP it always works when i use it - but when I don't use I seem to go a bit mad and put loads on!!
Anyhow over the last year I've put on 3 stone and decided that last week I was going to eat clean and start my weight loss and getting into shape.
Today, a woman who retired 3 years ago came into the office and the first thing she said to me in front of the whole office was "God uve put on a lot of weight"
Not hello - not nice to see you - just that!!!
Has anyone else had such unpleasantness?! I just thought what a rude horrible woman!!
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Replies
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I just blogged about things like this. Makes me so mad! Just remember that no one can make you feel bad without your permission.
Next time call them on it. "Nice of you to make such a rude comment, there. Good to see you too!"
Welcome back to MFP, and good luck on your journey. Don't let rude idiots get you down.
Edited because I suck at spelling sometimes.0 -
Sorry posted links in wrong place...
I once had my best friends mom do that to me...I drove an hour to see her in the hospital and that's the first words out of her mouth. It was awesome.0 -
Sorry posted links in wrong place...
I once had my best friends mom do that to me...I drove an hour to see her in the hospital and that's the first words out of her mouth. It was awesome.
This is a nice, helpful post.0 -
Some people use that as motivation...others get depressed and fall off the wagon. Which is it for you?0
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Some folks just don't have much of a filter between their brain and their mouth.
I've had the opposite happen a few times since I've lost weight -- one coworker said I "looked like I had cancer", and another friend asked me if I'd been sick (at least that was somewhat polite). Sheesh...I'm still solidly in the overweight category, too. Just let it flow through you and move on...0 -
Wow, that's super crappy. I agree that you should call them out next time - Then you keep the power and don't let them take home the satisfaction that a bully gets from making people feel bad. And remember, you can lose weight - but an a-hole is an a-hole for life
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Happens to me all the time when I go to visit family in the Caribbean. There's no, "it's good to see you, long time no see". It's usually "Wow, look how fat you are or if you lose 10 lbs you'll look great or my fav, where are you going with all that weight". This my family who are making those comments, kinda hard to ignore. If I were you, I'd just ignore her.
Good luck on your journey 0 -
I just blogged about things like this. Makes me so mad! Just remember that no one can make you feel bad without your permission.
Next time call them on it. "Nice of you to make such a rude comment, there. Good to see you too!"
Welcome back to MFP, and good luck on your journey. Don't let rude idiots get you down.
Edited because I suck at spelling sometimes.
I wouldn't even acknowledge the rude comment - that just lets them know it got to you. "well, bless your little heart, it's good to see you too" works wonders.0 -
Context matters and people, in general, are not sensitive to how their comments will be intrepreted.
1. Wow, you've lost a lot of weight!
2. Wow, you've gained a lot of weight!
Are these two comments the same? Should one be intrepreted as rude and the other not?0 -
Context matters and people, in general, are not sensitive to how their comments will be intrepreted.
1. Wow, you've lost a lot of weight!
2. Wow, you've gained a lot of weight!
Are these two comments the same? Should one be intrepreted as rude and the other not?
What century are you from? Obviously telling someone they've gained a lot of weight is an insult. Whereas telling someone they've lost weight is a compliment.0 -
Context matters and people, in general, are not sensitive to how their comments will be intrepreted.
1. Wow, you've lost a lot of weight!
2. Wow, you've gained a lot of weight!
Are these two comments the same? Should one be intrepreted as rude and the other not?
What century are you from? Obviously telling someone they've gained a lot of weight is an insult. Whereas telling someone they've lost weight is a compliment.
I was actually thinking the same thing...if the opposite was said it wouldn't be an issue...
To the OP you have gained weight...did she need to point it out....nope but she did...was she trying to be rude..probably not but she hasn't seen you in a while and shock obviously overcame her filter...
It happens...0 -
Yup, a co-worker, that had retired, saw me in a store and said, "is that a little baby bump I see there?" F NO! LOL I laughed and she blushed.. then I went to the gym. LOL haha, whatever, people are people and there is nothing you can do but feel good about yourself and take care of you.0
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Don't let others get to you, because of their stupidity, I like a seminar I went to once, people can't make you mad you have to allow your self to be mad. The other part of this is the Plane leaves at 10:05 so if you miss it you can't get mad because you knew what time it leaves, you had to allow yourself to be mad.
With that said I always try to remember that when someone does something I don't care for I think the plane leaves at 10:05.
Maybe it's silly but if it helps.
Remember your doing good for yourself not others.
Cheri0 -
My Aunt Shirl posted this just today.
Throw a plate on the ground.
- Okay done.
Did it break?
- Yes.
Now say sorry to it.
- Sorry.
Did it go back to the way it was before?
- No.
Do you understand?
I thought that was relevant.0 -
I feel your pain because this HAS happened to me. A family member (through marriage) insulted me like this in front of my kids. One of my adult sons replied, "You can always lose weight but you can't fix ugly." My advice is ignore the ignorant and stay on track. You can do it!!!!0
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Been there. My mother in law once saw me after sometime and said, and I quote, "Wow, you got huge". Don't let it get you down. Some people have no filter.0
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Context matters and people, in general, are not sensitive to how their comments will be intrepreted.
1. Wow, you've lost a lot of weight!
2. Wow, you've gained a lot of weight!
Are these two comments the same? Should one be intrepreted as rude and the other not?
What century are you from? Obviously telling someone they've gained a lot of weight is an insult. Whereas telling someone they've lost weight is a compliment.
Why?
There is only a one word difference between the two sentences. I've yo-yo'd up and down for years and when I go back to see my family that I haven't seen in a while I fully expect them to say whether I have gained or lost (if it is that noticable). They are just speaking facts, how I interpret that and how their words make me feel speaks to my self image. Unless, they are purposefully being rude. I know that I've gained weight, so why is it so rude for someone mention it. Just like I know when I've lost weight, but it is nice for someone to mention that? Should it matter how close a friend the person is? Do we give those close to us a benefit of a doubt since we like to believe they have our best interest at heart?
Like I said, context matters...What if you have been sick or are coming off chemo and trying to gain weight? What if you are trying to bulk up for a BB comp?
My youngest son, 4 years old, recently started to talk about "Daddy's big belly" (yes, thank you Nick Jr and Peppa Pig). Is he being rude? spiteful? No, he's just calling it like it is and how it could make me feel is beyond his comprehension. You know what I say to him? Yes, Daddy does have a big belly and he's trying to get healthier.
I'll give you that a grown adult should know how their words will be interpreted, but is it about the words, or how the words bring to light how we feel about ourselves?0 -
The good thing is, weight you can fix, stupidity not. That would be my answer lol0
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One of my aunts, who sees me only at Christmas, used to comment that I had put on weight since the last year. I just smiled, nodded, and bit my tongue so I wouldn't reply, "So have you!"
Last Christmas, after I had lost 45 lb., she kept her mouth shut.0 -
I went from this:
To this (in less than 3 years because of medications and medical conditions):
Needless to say, I get a lot of unpleasant comments about my weight gain.0
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