Time to vent a bit about the ball and chain

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TamTastic
TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
There are SO many double standards in my marriage! My husband is constantly complaining about money and wanting to budget and save save save and yet when football season is approaching, he suddenly says "Oh, we're doing better........I want to go to FedEX Field and watch the Redskins play this coming season". Now, tickets are not cheap AND the driving/gas to Maryland from CT isn't cheap......but he keeps talking and talking about it. We are already spending to fly out West in July to Oregon and California to see my family and his dad. For some reason he thinks he is entitled to do this every year because as he says it, he's "passionate".

This happened last summer too. All year he wanted to save save save and then in August he "managed" to be able to go to Memphis for Elvis week! (He is an Elvis dork). He wanted to be there for the 30th anniversary of his death and I was there with him celebrating MY birthday so he could fulfill that dream.

But, when I want to spend on anything, I get attitude.

Ok, what to do, what to do!!

Thanks for letting me vent all!
Tami
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Replies

  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
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    There are SO many double standards in my marriage! My husband is constantly complaining about money and wanting to budget and save save save and yet when football season is approaching, he suddenly says "Oh, we're doing better........I want to go to FedEX Field and watch the Redskins play this coming season". Now, tickets are not cheap AND the driving/gas to Maryland from CT isn't cheap......but he keeps talking and talking about it. We are already spending to fly out West in July to Oregon and California to see my family and his dad. For some reason he thinks he is entitled to do this every year because as he says it, he's "passionate".

    This happened last summer too. All year he wanted to save save save and then in August he "managed" to be able to go to Memphis for Elvis week! (He is an Elvis dork). He wanted to be there for the 30th anniversary of his death and I was there with him celebrating MY birthday so he could fulfill that dream.

    But, when I want to spend on anything, I get attitude.

    Ok, what to do, what to do!!

    Thanks for letting me vent all!
    Tami
  • zenmama
    zenmama Posts: 1,000
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    I hear that! Heeellloooo!

    :explode:

    zen
  • ali106
    ali106 Posts: 3,754 Member
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    LOL oh man do I feel you!!

    I'm the saver he's the spender! lol....he thinks if there is money in the bank than its all good to use it which make me insane!!! I'm all about doing fun things too..maybe not all at once lol.... but yes I feel your pain girl! lol

    hugs and thinking of ya and sending good calming vibes your way girl!
    Ali:flowerforyou:
  • cinandchris
    cinandchris Posts: 229 Member
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    I love football, so I understand his passion about that. The Elvis thing?? lol Maybe you could do a compromise that whatever his estimated tickets and gas equal out to, you get to take the exact same amount of money to do something that you love. Maybe new clothes or a weekend with the girls or something.
  • ali106
    ali106 Posts: 3,754 Member
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    YES weekend w/ the girls Tam!! come on up to Boston LOL.....he he he:wink:
  • sgtinvincible
    sgtinvincible Posts: 2,559
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    Maybe I could understand it better if he liked a decent team. The 'Redskins'? They are almost as bad as the 'Patriots' Cmon!?!! :laugh: *hides from all you rabid New Englanders*

    Cin seems to have a plan I would advocate. If he gets to spend, then you get the same in kind. Or he gets to do something, then you get to choose the next time. Yay compromise. Course, I'm the last person who can give relationship advice, but those are terms I would agree to. Course, I always enjoyed watching my signifigant get to do stuff she always wanted to do. It makes me feel good knowing I helped someone I love achieve a dream, so I might be a little biased. I dunno. *shrug*
  • ali106
    ali106 Posts: 3,754 Member
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    'Patriots' Cmon!?!! *hides from all you rabid New Englanders*

    Do not make me come down there boy!!!:noway: lol....we can't all be the michigan beating blah blahs LOL

    :flowerforyou: truce!
  • sgtinvincible
    sgtinvincible Posts: 2,559
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    'Patriots' Cmon!?!! *hides from all you rabid New Englanders*

    Do not make me come down there boy!!!:noway: lol....we can't all be the michigan beating blah blahs LOL

    :flowerforyou: truce!

    I heard you guys were in the Superbowl....how did that turn out by the way? *I am SO gonna get it for that* :noway:
  • ali106
    ali106 Posts: 3,754 Member
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    O-M-G! YOU WENT THERE!:devil:

    :noway: truce off!!!!


    lol
  • yoginimary
    yoginimary Posts: 6,783 Member
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    Back to the original vent - she already has a vent against football, come on guys :tongue:

    Husband and I started a budget this year. We each get a certain "allowance" each week. We can "earn" more money by doing challenges. He wants a high-def TV, I like books on cd. So for each weekly challenge, we "earn" so much money. He earns $35 a week if he gets all his squares ($25 if he misses one square, $0 if he misses more than one), he can save these up and get his TV by the end of the year or spend them on whatever he likes. I get $15 per week, as my challenge is easier. By the way, 90% of our income comes from my husband.

    Now you may not be able to talk your spouse into doing a challenge (and it doesn't have to be diet and exercise, his includes taking the bus to work and mediation) - but you could say, we have X amount to spend on trips this year. You can go to the Redskins game or Elvis week, but not both, unless you find some way to get extra money. We plan all our trips and major purchases out each year.

    Just a thought.
  • chriss1tt
    chriss1tt Posts: 365 Member
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    'Patriots' Cmon!?!! *hides from all you rabid New Englanders*

    Do not make me come down there boy!!!:noway: lol....we can't all be the michigan beating blah blahs LOL

    :flowerforyou: truce!

    :noway: Picking on Michigan now???????????????? Well, Sarge didn't pick on my Lions:cry: in that post.
  • greysweatshirt
    greysweatshirt Posts: 411
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    Being from Detroit, I have to say that the Lions are the only horrible team we have!! haha..the Pistons, Tigers and Red Wings are all doing great this year! ;)
  • Healthier_Me
    Healthier_Me Posts: 5,600 Member
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    I think he wants to save save for his game game..... hmmmmmm... LIGHT BULB!

    Mention that to him Tiramisu.... you guys have to sit down and say, "Ok, you can go do your Elvis/Football thing if I can do __________".

    ~Joanna:flowerforyou:
  • chriss1tt
    chriss1tt Posts: 365 Member
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    Being from Detroit, I have to say that the Lions are the only horrible team we have!! haha..the Pistons, Tigers and Red Wings are all doing great this year! ;)

    How true. Hope it changes this year.:drinker:
  • sgtinvincible
    sgtinvincible Posts: 2,559
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    Back to the original vent - she already has a vent against football, come on guys :tongue:

    Husband and I started a budget this year. We each get a certain "allowance" each week. We can "earn" more money by doing challenges. He wants a high-def TV, I like books on cd. So for each weekly challenge, we "earn" so much money. He earns $35 a week if he gets all his squares ($25 if he misses one square, $0 if he misses more than one), he can save these up and get his TV by the end of the year or spend them on whatever he likes. I get $15 per week, as my challenge is easier. By the way, 90% of our income comes from my husband.

    Now you may not be able to talk your spouse into doing a challenge (and it doesn't have to be diet and exercise, his includes taking the bus to work and mediation) - but you could say, we have X amount to spend on trips this year. You can go to the Redskins game or Elvis week, but not both, unless you find some way to get extra money. We plan all our trips and major purchases out each year.

    Just a thought.

    Sorry. :frown:






    :wink:
  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
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    You guys are too funny! I posted and then ran to the gym and now I am back and laughing! You guys are great!

    I would think he would be ok with me spending on myself considering the amount he has spent on himself but it seems when I want to buy even the slightest thing he has an attitude. Unfortunately I haven't been working (stay at home mom right now) and I think he feels he has the say in how our money is spent because of that. I don't know.

    It's not that I don't think he deserves to do fun things but I don't like being told that our budget is too tight and yet suddenly is better when he wants something.

    Anyway, I like things like books, clothes, spa trips! hehe...Sooo, perhaps the same amount he spends on his tickets and trip down to Maryland, I get that same amount to spend at a spa!! hahahaha!!
  • greysweatshirt
    greysweatshirt Posts: 411
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    :laugh: :wink: Yes, I'm thinking that season football tickets could buy a lot of massages!!
  • sgtinvincible
    sgtinvincible Posts: 2,559
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    :laugh: :wink: Yes, I'm thinking that season football tickets could buy a lot of massages!!

    True that Grey. :laugh:
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 33,962 Member
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    Husband and I started a budget this year. We each get a certain "allowance" each week. We can "earn" more money by doing challenges. He wants a high-def TV, I like books on cd. So for each weekly challenge, we "earn" so much money. He earns $35 a week if he gets all his squares ($25 if he misses one square, $0 if he misses more than one), he can save these up and get his TV by the end of the year or spend them on whatever he likes. I get $15 per week, as my challenge is easier. By the way, 90% of our income comes from my husband.

    Mary: I only quoted part of your post here.

    Since all relationships suffer with money management in one way or another, I have to say your solution is AWESOME! (:wink: sorry Sarge.)
  • sgtinvincible
    sgtinvincible Posts: 2,559
    Options

    Husband and I started a budget this year. We each get a certain "allowance" each week. We can "earn" more money by doing challenges. He wants a high-def TV, I like books on cd. So for each weekly challenge, we "earn" so much money. He earns $35 a week if he gets all his squares ($25 if he misses one square, $0 if he misses more than one), he can save these up and get his TV by the end of the year or spend them on whatever he likes. I get $15 per week, as my challenge is easier. By the way, 90% of our income comes from my husband.

    Mary: I only quoted part of your post here.

    Since all relationships suffer with money management in one way or another, I have to say your solution is AWESOME! (:wink: sorry Sarge.)

    :bigsmile:

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