Reflections from the first fifty...
myricksmom
Posts: 15 Member
I don't know how I got here...6 months ago I would have thought I was hopeless. While the first 50 does not really show as a startling visual on someone who has so much weight to lose the differences that I can FEEL are simply incredible. It took me so long to get here that being fat has been a way of life for a long time. Even before I was fat I was never really active. I think I am more active now than I was when I was thinner. Never in my life would I have thought I would utter the words "I like exercise." I would read about people who took up exercise and lost weight and knew that would never be me. I always figured if I did it, I would do it without the exercise. I used to say that if I exercised at this weight I would turn the fat to muscle and be huge forever. I didn't really believed it.... it was my excuse. In the past when I would diet I would eat 800 calories a day, feel like crap, and not lose weight - eventually I would give up and binge. I still do not understand how that can really happen but I am now a believer. I now eat about 1800 calories a day. Holy Crap..that is what you are thinking as you read this. I burn about 3000 calories in a week during exercise now that the pool is closed. I used to burn about 6000. I have not noticed a big difference in how the pounds come off yet. I suppose instead of swimming I do lift weight and use the resistance bands whenever I have a free moment or am pissed off or stressed..which is frequently lately! I have no idea what those activities amount to calorie-burning wise for the day.
My walking- Oh I do hate walking. I do not like being looked at and I am dreadfully bored. I cannot wait for the walk to be done. I am not sure why I do it when I can do the Wii inside..I feel like it is a different kind of burn..it is probably in my head. I still feel like I need to punish the weight off of myself. Deep thought that! I have noticed that I walk much faster than I used to and I am not dragging at the end at all. I do not come back and feel like I might die. This is great. In fact , when I get back I load up the Wii and start that. I only walk three days a week....I might just give it all up if I had to do more.
Wii...I use the Wii 6 days a week. Saturdays are tricky as I have to get up early because I do not want anyone watching me! I vary what I do on the Wii and make sure I stay on until it says I have burned at least 500 calories. I am loving...dancing and...boxing! CRAZY! I feel like this is not even me saying this. I used to totally suck on the boxing activities and now...I am in advanced and getting bored.
Weights/Bands...as I mentioned, outside of the Wii program I also love the weights and bands. I pick up my 25lb weight and use that to keep my arms strong for swimming. 25lbs for now is a lot with the types of lifts I am doing. I use the bands quite often as well. Sometimes I just feel the need to stretch the bands and feel my muscles react. These are such strange things for me to be writing. I have NEVER been interested in such things before. I can feel my arms and legs getting firm. It is not something you can see...they are still under much lard..but I can feel them. I can easily pick up the 40 lb dog of dog food...yeah...40 pounds. That may not be much to some people but the 20lb bags were a chore before...this is HUGE to me. I can pop it on my shoulder and just tote it up to the front of the store without popping a sweat. The hubby came over and was rubbing my neck and shoulders a few weeks back and was amazed at how different it felt. That was a cool feeling!
Real Age website...the lovely website that said I was 60.7 years old back in July now says that I am 44.5!!
So many things have become easier. Climbing stairs is not a chore that I put off until the end of the day. I can bop up and down pretty easily. I used to stack crap on the stairs and take it up on my way to bed. I NEVER went upstairs all day. Yeah...really bad. I do not ache like I used to. My energy level is THROUGH THE ROOF. I am actually restless often. My sugar levels are at the lower side of normal. Prior to this I was off the chart.
Sometimes I push away my plate with food still on it! The food is food that I LOVE. I feel satisfied and I push it away and save my calories for a snack later. Going on vacation did teach me that I do not want to under-eat...there is an amount to maintain so your body does not go into starvation mode. I always thought that was a bunch of crap too. Some nights I pop some almonds or some other high protein snack just to complete my calories. Imagine..I make myself eat. I am eating more now than I have in years...and I am losing weight. I feel like I am on another planet...
I love that the steering wheel is so far away now. I love that I need to safety pin my clothes. I tend to be eccentric and I am determined to keep in my at home /go shopping clothes until I have a HUGE difference . Then when I put on the new clothes it should be dramatic. Obviously I cannot look like a bag lady at work. I have been able to wear dresses for work that I have not seen in years. I love that I can find bones on various parts of my body. At the end of the day I am often not achy - that is HUGE!
Going out to eat - I used to fear the booth- 'nuff said.
The best discovery of all came over last weekend. We were at Chesterfield Gorge and we kept going down....down ...down..and I thought...WOW...this will suck coming back up! When we started walking back up I found it was not bad...I stepped it up a notch and was cruising up the hill when the kids yelled up to me "Do you have an appointment or something?" I was so stoked as I walked briskly up the hill..when I got to the top I was not winded...at all. You NEVER could have convinced me, back in July, that such a thing would ever be possible. It was a truly incredible feeling. I was at the top FIRST. I am always last. Not only am I last but I would stop...take off a sneaker...shake out an imagined rock...in an effort to inconspicuously catch my breath. I cannot tell you how often I messed with my shoes...or stood to take in a view or fix the camera etc. Not that day...it was one trip...up to the top. When I arrived I was not out of breath and I still had a ton of energy. This was by far the biggest accomplishment for me - it was an incredible feeling and it still blows my mind!
What to do to celebrate the first fifty? Well..the first thing that came to mind was a night out...a wonderful dinner. I squashed that. Not because I will no longer use food to celebrate but I don't want to use it as a reward. I can go out to eat anytime...it is all about moderation right? I think I would like a bracelet. I stopped wearing jewelry as I became fat - who decorates something ugly...seemed stupid to me. I am not anywhere near finished and this body is still quite ugly but a piece of jewelry will be a promise to myself...a sign of hope...a sign that someday maybe I will again feel like I have a right to wear the jewelry. YES..I know some of you are thinking...THERAPY...but it is what it is and you cannot change how you feel all that easily. Each week that I had a loss I put $10 in an envelope to spend on something frivolous when I hit 50. So..I have $140. With Ang's discount I should be able to get something cute! Woohoo!
Fear...I still have that floppy skin fear. I am terrified that I will have a crapload of hanging skin. Even if I got over my fear of surgery (highly unlikely) we cannot afford that kind of thing so...that Will suck. I already have a gross hangy down thing under my biceps...how much will shrink remains to be seen. They are making strides in these things and a laser procedure might not be so bad....
Then there is that whole...lose weight and you age so quickly thing. All that fat kept the face line-free. I love getting comments about how young I look. I love getting carded and the person is genuinely surprised when they see my date of birth. Now I am getting smile lines as the weight goes away. CRAP! The not looking old thing - it was the only thing I had going for me. I will learn to live with an old face but I will not like it. If you are not sure what I am speaking about - go check out Drew Carey. Yikes. He looks fit but old.
My end goal for the next fifty... still developing. I do hope to be able to do a push up. Just one. A real one..that might be awesome. As the colder weather approaches there are new food challenges ahead. Clam chowder, cookies, comfort food, cookies, holiday treats, cookies....yeah, I like cookies. Actually I started buying the break apart cookies and I cook 3 every week and eat them as I watch the football game Sunday night. Awesome! I just leave room for them during the day. Not too shabby!
All in all it has been a much better adventure than I would have ever thought...Here is hoping the next fifty goes as well...
Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools
My walking- Oh I do hate walking. I do not like being looked at and I am dreadfully bored. I cannot wait for the walk to be done. I am not sure why I do it when I can do the Wii inside..I feel like it is a different kind of burn..it is probably in my head. I still feel like I need to punish the weight off of myself. Deep thought that! I have noticed that I walk much faster than I used to and I am not dragging at the end at all. I do not come back and feel like I might die. This is great. In fact , when I get back I load up the Wii and start that. I only walk three days a week....I might just give it all up if I had to do more.
Wii...I use the Wii 6 days a week. Saturdays are tricky as I have to get up early because I do not want anyone watching me! I vary what I do on the Wii and make sure I stay on until it says I have burned at least 500 calories. I am loving...dancing and...boxing! CRAZY! I feel like this is not even me saying this. I used to totally suck on the boxing activities and now...I am in advanced and getting bored.
Weights/Bands...as I mentioned, outside of the Wii program I also love the weights and bands. I pick up my 25lb weight and use that to keep my arms strong for swimming. 25lbs for now is a lot with the types of lifts I am doing. I use the bands quite often as well. Sometimes I just feel the need to stretch the bands and feel my muscles react. These are such strange things for me to be writing. I have NEVER been interested in such things before. I can feel my arms and legs getting firm. It is not something you can see...they are still under much lard..but I can feel them. I can easily pick up the 40 lb dog of dog food...yeah...40 pounds. That may not be much to some people but the 20lb bags were a chore before...this is HUGE to me. I can pop it on my shoulder and just tote it up to the front of the store without popping a sweat. The hubby came over and was rubbing my neck and shoulders a few weeks back and was amazed at how different it felt. That was a cool feeling!
Real Age website...the lovely website that said I was 60.7 years old back in July now says that I am 44.5!!
So many things have become easier. Climbing stairs is not a chore that I put off until the end of the day. I can bop up and down pretty easily. I used to stack crap on the stairs and take it up on my way to bed. I NEVER went upstairs all day. Yeah...really bad. I do not ache like I used to. My energy level is THROUGH THE ROOF. I am actually restless often. My sugar levels are at the lower side of normal. Prior to this I was off the chart.
Sometimes I push away my plate with food still on it! The food is food that I LOVE. I feel satisfied and I push it away and save my calories for a snack later. Going on vacation did teach me that I do not want to under-eat...there is an amount to maintain so your body does not go into starvation mode. I always thought that was a bunch of crap too. Some nights I pop some almonds or some other high protein snack just to complete my calories. Imagine..I make myself eat. I am eating more now than I have in years...and I am losing weight. I feel like I am on another planet...
I love that the steering wheel is so far away now. I love that I need to safety pin my clothes. I tend to be eccentric and I am determined to keep in my at home /go shopping clothes until I have a HUGE difference . Then when I put on the new clothes it should be dramatic. Obviously I cannot look like a bag lady at work. I have been able to wear dresses for work that I have not seen in years. I love that I can find bones on various parts of my body. At the end of the day I am often not achy - that is HUGE!
Going out to eat - I used to fear the booth- 'nuff said.
The best discovery of all came over last weekend. We were at Chesterfield Gorge and we kept going down....down ...down..and I thought...WOW...this will suck coming back up! When we started walking back up I found it was not bad...I stepped it up a notch and was cruising up the hill when the kids yelled up to me "Do you have an appointment or something?" I was so stoked as I walked briskly up the hill..when I got to the top I was not winded...at all. You NEVER could have convinced me, back in July, that such a thing would ever be possible. It was a truly incredible feeling. I was at the top FIRST. I am always last. Not only am I last but I would stop...take off a sneaker...shake out an imagined rock...in an effort to inconspicuously catch my breath. I cannot tell you how often I messed with my shoes...or stood to take in a view or fix the camera etc. Not that day...it was one trip...up to the top. When I arrived I was not out of breath and I still had a ton of energy. This was by far the biggest accomplishment for me - it was an incredible feeling and it still blows my mind!
What to do to celebrate the first fifty? Well..the first thing that came to mind was a night out...a wonderful dinner. I squashed that. Not because I will no longer use food to celebrate but I don't want to use it as a reward. I can go out to eat anytime...it is all about moderation right? I think I would like a bracelet. I stopped wearing jewelry as I became fat - who decorates something ugly...seemed stupid to me. I am not anywhere near finished and this body is still quite ugly but a piece of jewelry will be a promise to myself...a sign of hope...a sign that someday maybe I will again feel like I have a right to wear the jewelry. YES..I know some of you are thinking...THERAPY...but it is what it is and you cannot change how you feel all that easily. Each week that I had a loss I put $10 in an envelope to spend on something frivolous when I hit 50. So..I have $140. With Ang's discount I should be able to get something cute! Woohoo!
Fear...I still have that floppy skin fear. I am terrified that I will have a crapload of hanging skin. Even if I got over my fear of surgery (highly unlikely) we cannot afford that kind of thing so...that Will suck. I already have a gross hangy down thing under my biceps...how much will shrink remains to be seen. They are making strides in these things and a laser procedure might not be so bad....
Then there is that whole...lose weight and you age so quickly thing. All that fat kept the face line-free. I love getting comments about how young I look. I love getting carded and the person is genuinely surprised when they see my date of birth. Now I am getting smile lines as the weight goes away. CRAP! The not looking old thing - it was the only thing I had going for me. I will learn to live with an old face but I will not like it. If you are not sure what I am speaking about - go check out Drew Carey. Yikes. He looks fit but old.
My end goal for the next fifty... still developing. I do hope to be able to do a push up. Just one. A real one..that might be awesome. As the colder weather approaches there are new food challenges ahead. Clam chowder, cookies, comfort food, cookies, holiday treats, cookies....yeah, I like cookies. Actually I started buying the break apart cookies and I cook 3 every week and eat them as I watch the football game Sunday night. Awesome! I just leave room for them during the day. Not too shabby!
All in all it has been a much better adventure than I would have ever thought...Here is hoping the next fifty goes as well...
Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools
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Replies
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Congratulations on your first 50!!!! That's an amazing accomplishment!! Keep doing what you're doing and you'll be down another 50 before you know it!!
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Wow! Fifty is a major accomplishment! That's ten sacks of flour. Keep up the great work.:flowerforyou:0
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Congrats! What an inspiring story. I hope you get something really cute, something that helps keep you motivated to keep going!0
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Wow....what an inspiration!! Congratulations on your first fifty! Keep up the good work. :happy:0
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Wow - you are doing great!! Thanks for sharing your story!0
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Fantastic 50! I see myself in so many things you say - and I only want to lose a total of 62! Just goes to show you that we are all so similar. You are doing GREAT - keep up the great work!0
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:flowerforyou: Just the inspiration I needed, congratulations on losing 50lbs, before u know it another fifty will be: gone. flower foryou:0
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Great Job! What a wonderful story! I'm so proud of you! I do believe you are my new source of motivation! Keep up the good work!0
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Congratulations and great posting. Very inspiring, it shows a very positive attitude and philosophy. Please keep up the good work, your motivation and keep posting.
Best of luck!:flowerforyou:0 -
Awesome inspiring story. Thanks for sharing and keep up the great work!0
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The best discovery of all came over last weekend. We were at Chesterfield Gorge and we kept going down....down ...down..and I thought...WOW...this will suck coming back up! When we started walking back up I found it was not bad...I stepped it up a notch and was cruising up the hill when the kids yelled up to me "Do you have an appointment or something?" I was so stoked as I walked briskly up the hill..when I got to the top I was not winded...at all. You NEVER could have convinced me, back in July, that such a thing would ever be possible. It was a truly incredible feeling. I was at the top FIRST. I am always last. Not only am I last but I would stop...take off a sneaker...shake out an imagined rock...in an effort to inconspicuously catch my breath. I cannot tell you how often I messed with my shoes...or stood to take in a view or fix the camera etc. Not that day...it was one trip...up to the top. When I arrived I was not out of breath and I still had a ton of energy. This was by far the biggest accomplishment for me - it was an incredible feeling and it still blows my mind!
I love this! Way to go!0 -
Wow what a truly inspiring story!! You have left me in complete awe of your accomplishments!! So much so that i had to bring my husband to the computer for him to read. Congratulations on your first 50! I'm so happy that you feel great, and if you continue this way, i'm sure you will reach another 50 in no time! Wow!!0
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Great Job!!:flowerforyou: Keep it up, you will get there!! I can't wait to see pics in the future 0
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Congratulations on your success and all of the new things your are "discovering" about yourself!0
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Wow! I decided to change over from Fitday.com to this site and I cannot believe the differences. In the three months I have been on Fitday...it seems like there is never anyone around on the boards, I always felt kind of silly posting. I popped my reflection on here and kind of winced wondering what you all would think. I was so surprised to sign back on and find all the responses on here. I am so glad my daughter talked me into switching over and I am looking forward to journeying along with you all in this adventure! (-; Thanks for the wonderful welcome!0
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I want to throw in my congratulations too! You are now being responsible to yourself. It is a very liberating feeling, isn't it? Keep up the positive outlook and we'll be hearing "reflections from the first 100." 0
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Very inspirational story! Some of your stories tended to hit home. Makes me feel motivated to get started again!0
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Wow! Fifty is a major accomplishment! That's ten sacks of flour. Keep up the great work.:flowerforyou:
This kind of made me take a step back and think. Sometimes we might think, wow, big deal, only 5 lbs. But if you grab a 5ld bag of flour and plop it on the counter, thats gonna do some damage. So yeah..5 lbs....BIG DEAL is right!!
Congrats and keep at it. Great story. Touched me more than I could say and is very inspiring. I hate the booths too!!0
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