A Cry For Help

sugarandspice27

Trigger alert: ED and BED

I've been struggling for some time with disordered eating and it's gotten 10xs worse over the last 6 months or so. I've been binging but not purging. I've literally gained 42 pounds in a year and I feel very, very out of control. As absurd as this sounds, I've been considering purging because I'm filled with such disgust and guilt after binging. I just looked at my bank account and I spent $700 on food last month. I can't even comprehend that. I don't know what to do or who to turn to for help and it's a really humiliating and shameful topic. I wouldn't have reached out if I didn't feel like it's getting to a point beyond my control. I don't know how to stop. It feels like my mind is broken and I don't know how to fix it.

neandermagnon

you need to go to your doctor. Also there might be some helplines or websites for eating disorders that may help you to reach out and get help.


hope you get the help you need :flowerforyou:

mfp2014mfp

I used to do something like this. For me food was a way to soothe and calm myself and basically stop myself from addressing emotional issues that were the real problem. For me turning back to spirituality helped, getting back in touch with a loving community and being very gentle with myself emotionally. I had to learn to love myself, not again, but for the first time. I don't know what will work for you, but if your problem was in anyway like mine, it's not about food, it's about not being able to process emotions and past experiences, so maybe put aside the food for now and start working out what is really going on. Once I started clearing up my emotional issues the rest came back into balance by itself. I'm not saying it's easy, it took me 15 years to work it out, but I am improving everyday. I hope this helps you in some way.

MyChocolateDiet

Sorry you are going through that.

sugarandspice27

I know that my issues are deeply rooted in my emotional state. I do love food but food has turn into my everything, a lover, a friend, a comfort, it soothes me, it's my drug.

amyjax

I'm an emotional eater so I understand where you're coming from, it's really not easy divorcing mood from food but it is possible. The first step to getting better is admitting you need some help - which you've done. The second step is reaching out to professionals to get the help and support you need, which is easier said than done. It can be intimidating but you can do it because you know the situation isn't going to improve if you don't. Do you have a doctor or counsellor you can reach out to? From there, they can direct you to the help and support you need to get you back in the saddle and in control of your eating. At the moment, though, don't beat yourself up for how things are. Disordered eating is an illness, you mustn't blame yourself or let the guilt get hold of you.

girishmenezes

Sorry to hear that. You probably do need professional advice. But the one thing I would say is that you need to go slowly and keep your deficit small. You also need to keep switching between cutting and maintenance to keep your sanity. Probably four weeks each. As you may have noticed, I love my food and my alcohol. So this is not advice from some health freak.

zoeysasha37

I'm sorry your going threw this :-( it sounds awful. I'm not at all qualified to help you, but I think you should first start with talking to your doctor. If that doesn't work, I would see if there's any counseling services in your area. Where I live there is a place that offers free or low cost services, so look around to see. Also google search any national eating disorder hotlines and see if they may be able to point you in the right direction. Hopefully there's some resources out there to get you some help. I wish you the best of luck! :-)

mjchan2015

Similar position. Used to have a bit of an eating disorder when I was much younger and it was pretty bad, and afterwards, I remained pretty thin. Thought I was done with the whole deal, done and over, but then I dated this guy who constantly called me fat and said that I needed to look like the models on TV. Since our messy breakup, I've dropped to like 82 pounds (super shorty here but I'm now more underweight than I should be), and I can't be motivated at all to put the weight back on... and feeling gross whenever I do end up eating.

Has anyone talked to a counselor about this and how did they go about getting started on talking about ED?

zaellany

Try to find an Overeaters Anonymous group meeting near you. OA is meant to help people in exactly your situation, who have recognized their eating is beyond their control, and they need help. You don't need to make an appointment, just find a meeting and show up. OA has a website with lots of great resources, oa.org. They have telephone and online meetings you can participate in as well. Please get some outside assistance with this. It takes a lot of courage to ask for help; your post here is the first step towards feeling better. Good luck to you.

psych101

I'm sorry that you're going through this. I think you may need to talk to a professional. Maybe start with your doctor.

All the best

la_te_ra_lus

A cry for help is not shameful.. I agree with some others that outside professional help will provide much more detailed help than most mfp members can offer here..

acknowledging a problem is a big milestone in itself. I hope you can find the help you are looking for. My best wishes go out to you.

sugarandspice27

Try to find an Overeaters Anonymous group meeting near you. OA is meant to help people in exactly your situation, who have recognized their eating is beyond their control, and they need help. You don't need to make an appointment, just find a meeting and show up. OA has a website with lots of great resources, oa.org. They have telephone and online meetings you can participate in as well. Please get some outside assistance with this. It takes a lot of courage to ask for help; your post here is the first step towards feeling better. Good luck to you.

Thank you. I think this may be something I need to look into.