No wonder I am overweight!

Monda

My husband really just made me upset! I have been doing so good for the past 6 weeks and today I decided to eat just 1 oreo cookie. And he just gave me the 3rd degree about it. We actually argued because of 1 stupid cookie. He is so unsupportive and I am so mad. It makes me want to eat the whole bag just to show him that I can. I am not a child who needs to be punished because I stuck my hand in the cookie jar without asking. Who does that anyway! He only weight 150 lbs and can eat anything he wants without gaining an ounce. So he will never understand the struggle of losing weight. I guess he wants me to be deprived of certain things. I don't know. Right now, he is the biggest jerk to me. I managed to add the cookie into my calories today and still had 117 left. I think I did fairly well, considering I have not had anything like that in 6 weeks. It is so hard when you have no support at home. Thank God there is MFP! Thanks guys for listening! Praying for a better day tomorrow.

myrbg

no need to feel guilty! like you said, the stress and anger will prompt you to eat the rest of the bag! if you can enjoy a treat, and hold yourself accountable (tracking it in your diary), then i'd say you're good to go! too bad you don't have much support at home, it must be hard!! but like you said, we are always here! =]

elainegsd

Maybe he is just incredibly lame at being supportive, and this is his attempt at it?

One oreo in 6 weeks doesn't seem like anything with worrying about, for or for him!

neelia

I'm with you girl! My husband isn't supportive either, although he's not mean about it. He just always wants to eat something super fatty knowing that I can't resist it!

jeanineadele

Well he probably was TRYING to be supportive. You are right though, it is probably better to have the one cookie and work it into your calories than to feel deprived and go off on a binder down the road. Later, when you weigh less than him you can say I TOLD YOU SO!!! For now try not to let it bother you, you know your right.

PLUMSGRL

IF there is a next time- just tell him it's part of your food budget, and that you planned for it!:flowerforyou:

elyse0210

You have every right to enjoy a treat every so often. I'm sorry he wasn't being very supportive. Men don't seem to understand how much harder it is for us to lose weight because they can eat whatever they want and not gain a pound. My bf tries to be supportive but sometimes it bothers me when we eat something like a cookie and he says I shouldn't eat it while he is scarfing them down. I hope next time he'll be more understanding and supportive of all the good work you are doing.

joleciamichelle

he probably wasn't trying to be mean. you could take this opportunity to educate him on exactly what you are doing and the fact that you did work the cookie in to your calories for the day. maybe he just doesn't understand that you're not supposed to deprive yourself and that you actually should be able to occasionally indulge. it's the key to sustainable weight loss.

WonderNoodle

well i'm with the rest of them. in his not so brilliant way, he probably was trying to detour you from "a mistake". his way of supporting you by not letting you slip. but as you said, thank goodness for MFP because WE GET IT AND YOU. people that don't watch what they eat, haven't dealt with trying to lose weight don't get it and think it has to be all or none.

i struggle with feeling i have to explain myself to anyone seeing me enjoy a treat! "i have calories saved for this...." it's none of their business and i'm the only one i need to be accountable to, however, i feel like the kid with their hand in the cookie jar when somebody "catches me" eating. i say this to ask you, were you a little extra sensitive? :huh: just sayin.... i know i jump to the confession booth when the people around me could probably care less what i'm eating. LOL! :laugh:

nowic

Ya know what sweetie- if you are going to make this a lifestyle change and not just another diet, you will have sweets here and there. You did a great job planning ahead and making sure it fit your calories. Way to go!! You should be proud of yourself.. Dont spoil your accomplishments- you have worked way to hard.

princessmedic

Everybody needs a cookie every once in awhile!

flsunshine

if you become fully deprived it makes your goals soo much harder to achieve.. i love chocalote chips cookies and today was my first time having some sort of cookie in a month.. i learned its ok to eat things like cakes and cookies as long as you arent gorging of them... you have to indulge yourself sometimes... i have 1 day a week i try not to count calories just to relieve my self from constant supervision even though i still eat portionately... best of luck to you and i understand completely being around someone who can eat and eat and not gain an ounce....

Ely82010

My husband really just made me upset! I have been doing so good for the past 6 weeks and today I decided to eat just 1 oreo cookie. And he just gave me the 3rd degree about it. We actually argued because of 1 stupid cookie. He is so unsupportive and I am so mad. It makes me want to eat the whole bag just to show him that I can. I am not a child who needs to be punished because I stuck my hand in the cookie jar without asking. Who does that anyway! He only weight 150 lbs and can eat anything he wants without gaining an ounce. So he will never understand the struggle of losing weight. I guess he wants me to be deprived of certain things. I don't know. Right now, he is the biggest jerk to me. I managed to add the cookie into my calories today and still had 117 left. I think I did fairly well, considering I have not had anything like that in 6 weeks. It is so hard when you have no support at home. Thank God there is MFP! Thanks guys for listening! Praying for a better day tomorrow.

I do understand your being upset. but don't understand the tittle of your post. Are you implying that you are overweight because your husband nagged you? Please think about it, it seems to me that rather than taking responsibility for your eating habits you are blaming external factors (e.g. your husband), for it.

RainbowNtheWaterfall

wow, 117 cals left over?...that's great...keep coming in under your cals like you did and you'll do fine...your doing great, thanks for logging in....i feel ya on the non support thing but you just keep on keepin on like you are and you'll continue to progress....and one cookie won't make you overweight....;o)....some times you have to take a deep breath and move on....don't let it stress ya...you will make it:O)

Monda

Thanks so much guys! I really needed this pick me up. I think you may be right, he may have been trying to be supportive but it came out all wrong. Who knows? LOL Hopefully we can get past the cookie monster and not have anymore arguements. LOL Thanks again!

Monda

My husband really just made me upset! I have been doing so good for the past 6 weeks and today I decided to eat just 1 oreo cookie. And he just gave me the 3rd degree about it. We actually argued because of 1 stupid cookie. He is so unsupportive and I am so mad. It makes me want to eat the whole bag just to show him that I can. I am not a child who needs to be punished because I stuck my hand in the cookie jar without asking. Who does that anyway! He only weight 150 lbs and can eat anything he wants without gaining an ounce. So he will never understand the struggle of losing weight. I guess he wants me to be deprived of certain things. I don't know. Right now, he is the biggest jerk to me. I managed to add the cookie into my calories today and still had 117 left. I think I did fairly well, considering I have not had anything like that in 6 weeks. It is so hard when you have no support at home. Thank God there is MFP! Thanks guys for listening! Praying for a better day tomorrow.

I do understand your being upset. but don't understand the tittle of your post. Are you implying that you are overweight because your husband nagged you? Please think about it, it seems to me that rather than taking responsibility for your eating habits you are blaming external factors (e.g. your husband), for it.

I think I was really trying to imply that the stress from the situation is what keeps me overweight. I dare not to blame my husband for it, atleast not on purpose. However, I can see how it would sound that way.

ahsongbird

My husband does that all the time , in a joking manner but it still hurts and makes me upset b/c it feels like he's as eager as I am for me to lose this weight or in other words "calling me fat" lmao Im such a sissy :P

TracieJ65

Well it is a good thing he and I aren't married because he probably would have beat me up if he saw the cold stone creamery milkshake that I had today! Lol I have had no kind of treats, myself, in about two months and while my daughter and I were running our tails off, at the mall, running errands, we stopped in. I was going to have a smoothie but REALLY wanted the milkshake. So I remembered all of the people, on here, that have always said that you should not deprive yourself but indeed indulge sometimes, just in moderation, and put it in your diary. So after having no kind of treat for so long, and doing double workouts every day this week, I indulged.

Anyway monda, he has NO idea what you are going through and really should keep quiet. I am sorry that you were made to feel this way and yea for you thatbyou putnit in your food diary and still didn't go over your goal. That is the point here, not that you had one Oreo. Keep it up,
,

cobarlo14

:flowerforyou: That's so eff'd up!! Husband/Family if they can't be supportive - then you have you know it in YOURSELF that you have a goal and planned out and YES a cookie or two. If you don't allow it in a controlled, planned for manner then one day it may bite (no pun intented) you in the butt. PAY THEM NO MIND ~ it is not worth the stress as someone else on here.

Do your best and the rest will follow!!!!!

When you lose weight at your next weigh in. If he even bothers to ask you how you did. Tell him you lost and try to talk about the fact that counting calories is that. You can have whatever you want but now a bag of it. Stick that in his pipe and smoke it!

If you ever need to vent -let it rip.... We're all here. :flowerforyou:

That's my 2 cents, Just my thoughts/feelings. If you don't agree pay me no mind & I truly wish you the best!

YourFriendBecky

Are you implying that you are overweight because your husband nagged you? Please think about it, it seems to me that rather than taking responsibility for your eating habits you are blaming external factors (e.g. your husband), for it.

I think that most people, when they feel that someone is policing their actions or when they feel judged, tend to feel rebellious. It's human nature. All of us want to be treated with respect in all situations, and certainly in one's own home, when it comes to one's spouse, we all want to feel that we are trusted to make good decisions and not treated like a child.

Perhaps he did have good intentions, but still... I would have felt a bit annoyed and rebellious myself. In fact (not that I'm suggesting that anyone end a relationship), I have found weight loss to be much, much less of a challenge since having left a relationship with a judgmental person who simply could not fathom how anyone could allow himself/herself to get really overweight. His lack of understanding and empathy was like adding fuel to the fire, and I found I kept gaining weight because what I was really "hungry" for was unconditional love and understanding.

I'm not projecting my experience onto Monda, I'm just saying... we're all just human, after all, and we do sometimes respond to emotional issues in less than productive ways.

Not that eating an Oreo is a big deal, by the way. A person could have Oreos every day and still lose weight just fine.

cobarlo14

[/quote]
Not that eating an Oreo is a big deal, by the way. A person could have Oreos every day and still lose weight just fine.
[/quote]

Amen Becky - Well said!


Perhaps, When everything thing is at neutral temps they can talk about it, hash it out!!

Good Luck!!
(I am new to this site and didin't quote properly I think. Bear with me)

curlytop89

I agree with Becky too. Sometimes, or a lot of times, people that have never had a problem with weight don't understand how some people can get to be sooo overweight. I think it is so easy to gain weight, and it is so sneaky, you wake up one day and wonder how did this happen and you cant just undo it overnight. It's not like quitting smoking, or other bad habits, because you can quit them cold turkey if you want to, but you do have to eat. I understand what she was saying about wanting to eat a whole bag just to prove a point. I can totally see that. I think people don't want to try to lose weight because it is hard and you have to do it all day long, everyday. Don't let your husband's remarks get you down. You are doing a great job. Maybe you should tell him exactly what kind of encouragement you need. I have been married for almost 19 years and in my experience, you have to spell things our for men. They often don't understand how they hurt your feelings. Hopefully he isn't like that all the time, or you might have other things to worry about, but I think you should talk to him or maybe get him more involved in what you are trying to do. Just an idea.

curlytop89

By the way, I eat "snacks" all the time. Maybe a small bag of chips one day, or a childsize icecream another. As long as that isn't the only kind of food you eat and you keep track of it in your journal, it shouldn't matter if you have an oreo everyday. Exercising also helps work off some of those "extra" calories.

davebarron

You did just fine eating that cookie and recording it. If you are being honest with yourself then you a real winner.

I allow myself one small treat at the end of each day as a reward for a whole long day of eating well and exercising a bit. Either a fruit smoothie, a small square of dark chocolate to nibble, or a bit of honeycomb on an oat cake with spicy herbal tea, just about anything I really enjoy up to 100 calories.

I'd lose control and eat a bag of corn chips if I didn't have that reward to look forward to.

Also, try to find ways to remind yourself of the longer term rewards, like improved health and self image. Not to mention the new clothes you will get to buy when you lose a bunch of weight!

borisda

I'm with everyone else, one oreo in 6 weeks is better than me. My wife moans at me for being to concerned with calories and protien etc and thats with me having a six pack coming through. It never changes and no one understands better than you do.
It's a lifestyle change and you will eat the junk food and treats you used to but this time you'll balance it with a limited intake and healthy foods.
Your not alone
: ))

Thomasm198

All I can say is that there is no point getting upset over it. Next time just try explaining that you have factored it into your calorie "budget".

That's what I always do. I just explain that I've allowed for it in my budget. If they don't listen or understand I just shrug my shoulders and ignore them.

edorice

My husband really just made me upset! I have been doing so good for the past 6 weeks and today I decided to eat just 1 oreo cookie. And he just gave me the 3rd degree about it. We actually argued because of 1 stupid cookie. He is so unsupportive and I am so mad. It makes me want to eat the whole bag just to show him that I can.

I certainly hope that you're not capable of eating a whole bag of Oreo's. I also hope that you get a hold of any emotional eating that you may have. There seems to be a disconnect here. You would actually consider destroying the temple which is your body to get back at your husband some how. That does nothing to him whatsoever. There is a great book by Linda Spangle that is called 100 Days of Weight Loss. I recommend that you read it.

Monda

Thanks again everyone! It really means alot to have you all to give me your opinions and support. I will value everything said here and I really appreciate it! Today was a better day!

Monda

Thanks again everyone! It really means alot to have you all to give me your opinions and support. I will value everything said here and I really appreciate it! Today was a better day!

hollyk57

Wow, that made me sad. That's so completely out-of-line for him to give you a hard time like that. You CAN'T deprive yourself all the time. Remember - this is a life change, not a diet, and you have to allow yourself to still enjoy the things you want, in moderation. And geez... it's ONE cookie? That's amazing willpower. I came from an extremely unsupportive and overweight family, so I know how that can feel. I feel lucky now to be away from that toxic environment and with a man that totally supports me and is there for you - and a spouse should be. I hope that you express this to him and make sure he understands how you feel and how this affected you. Communication is very important. Good luck to you sweetie. *hugs*