I need help...

GaldorSH

*It feels weird posting this online, and I am going to apologize for not structuring this like a post. This is justy to get it out there and ask for some advice.*


So I have a problem. I have bulimia. Starting about June 2013 I decided that I had gotten too big, my doctors were saying that I needed to lose weight and I just wasn't happy. That's what started the best few months of my life. I started eating better, working out (riding bikes, lifting weights, swimming). It was fun and easy. School was off so it was really just me, no one judging or making fun of me. I went from being 256lbs at the start of Summer break, to being 179lbs at the beginning of School (September). I had energy, I was confident, I even had a decent body! Perhaps the best of all, I was just friendlier and started to gain some popularity. This went on for only about two or three months. Wrestling season started in late November, and I decided to join the team. That was a bad decision for my mental state. There was an intense pressure to get to your "alpha" weight class. So I started "cutting hard". My goal was 160. We were weighing in twice a week and my lack of progress was discouraging. I started only eating 1200 calories a day. That still didn't help, so I went home one day, ate a triple decker peanut butter, honey, and banana sandwich, with a large bowl of rocky road ice-cream and chocolate sauce. That was a terrible decision. I felt so depressed I literally punched myself in the stomach to discourage that course of action. But something in my mind broke and I started eating. I ate a jar of peanut butter, six bananas, half a loaf of bread, and a sleeve of oreos. My stomach hurt so bad I Went into my bedroom, grabbed a trashcan and purged. My throat burned, but I was no longer in pain. I did this three days in a row. Come weigh ins I had lost 4lbs! It felt great, eat what I want, and lose weight. So this became regular practice. In two weeks I reached 152 weight class. But I was not done. I started chasing a "high". The lower the scale dropped the better I felt. I got down to 140 at my lowest. But now its not "Fun" anymore. I don't lose weight. I bounce from 140-160 like crazy. My teeth are getting bad, and I bloat like crazy! Last night I B/P a gallon of cookie dough and two jars of peanut butter( on top of other things). I woke up to a cracked tooth, and a terrible depression. I need help. I'm starting a binge diary and trying to create a list of "acceptable foods" or ones that don't trigger a binge. I tend to go for crave sweet foods and peanut butter. Is there anyone out there who has been through similar things, and could offer any advice? I'm desperate. Sorry for the long post just need this off my chest.

brianpperkins

Two very simple words ....

SEEK HELP!!!!!


BTW, that means see a professional.

uconnwinsnc

We can only give basic advice on healthy eating and working out, along with some advice on social situations that are related to weight loss. Once it comes to medical advice, you should be seeking it from a professional. We just don't have the ability to help with this. There are support groups and services that can help you with your eating disorder. We can support you and listen to your thoughts, but we can't solve your problem. It is a serious issue you need to get serious help for.