My story/thoughts

BrightCrystal3

2 years ago I made the decision to stay single rather than one day having a significant other/getting married, etc. Yes, there are good things about relationships, but for me personally I would prefer to be single.

But once in a while (this happens for me about once every few months) I'll see a romantic scene in a movie and be like, "Awww I miss that" and I feel a slight pang. This passes after 5 seconds.

But recently I actually did want to be in a relationship because I wanted to feel protected and safe (okay - I admit that's bad since that's the only reason I wanted to be in one and didn't want to be in a relationship for its own sake) - I wanted to be in a relationship with a male friend of mine who had in the past expressed interest in me. But he turned me down because of my weight.

It's true that now I feel safe within myself already (for the most part) so I no longer desire a relationship (though it still has affected my self-esteem knowing I was rejected because of my weight).

I just saw a scene in "Catch me if you can" and there is a scene where Leonardo diCaprio - a big, strong man (compared to the girl) takes a girl in his arms - strong, protecting her, caring for her. It reminds me of my recent rejection and so I guess I'll get it out of my head by writing a story about it...

uconnwinsnc

You're all over the place with how you feel towards relationships. In my opinion, I think it isn't worth planning ahead whether or not you want a relationship. If you meet the right person, go for it. If you don't, then wait. There is nothing to gain by restricting yourself.

ChaplainHeavin

You're all over the place with how you feel towards relationships. In my opinion, I think it isn't worth planning ahead whether or not you want a relationship. If you meet the right person, go for it. If you don't, then wait. There is nothing to gain by restricting yourself.

Good advice

Jestinia

Being single for the past several years has taught me a lot, especially about what I want and need in life and what I will not tolerate. I will not tolerate bad boyfriends, meaningless poverty-wage jobs, and bullies of any kind.

Now that I have that straightened out, I can date again if I so choose, but only if it will enhance my life. I certainly would not date someone who wasn't genuinely attracted to me or vice versa. There is no safety in that.

But that is my personal experience with long-term singlehood. Your results may vary.

dkapplejacks1

Being single for the past several years has taught me a lot, especially about what I want and need in life and what I will not tolerate. I will not tolerate bad boyfriends, meaningless poverty-wage jobs, and bullies of any kind.

Now that I have that straightened out, I can date again if I so choose, but only if it will enhance my life. I certainly would not date someone who wasn't genuinely attracted to me or vice versa. There is no safety in that.

But that is my personal experience with long-term singlehood. Your results may vary.

What Jestinia said. Love it!

ChaplainHeavin

Being single for the past several years has taught me a lot, especially about what I want and need in life and what I will not tolerate. I will not tolerate bad boyfriends, meaningless poverty-wage jobs, and bullies of any kind.

Now that I have that straightened out, I can date again if I so choose, but only if it will enhance my life. I certainly would not date someone who wasn't genuinely attracted to me or vice versa. There is no safety in that.

But that is my personal experience with long-term singlehood. Your results may vary.

I will never forget the late night conversion on the phone years back with my friend in a miserable marriage. He said, "Ernie, it is better to be lonely and alone than to be lonely and with somebody."

Unknown

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Alatariel75

I had decided in my late 20's that I was going to remain single. Fact was, I was happy being single, even my good relationships had ended, and frankly, I just wasn't keen on a relationship and couldn't imagine a person who I'd want to be with like that. I was fiercely independent, deeply content with my friendships, and I could honestly, 100% without bitterness or negativity, see myself being happily single for the rest of my life. My close friends all knew this and, somewhat tellingly, none even tried to change my mind because they could see how content I was with my decision and how "right" it was for me.

Fast forward 6 years and on Thursday I celebrate my first wedding anniversary to my best friend and the love of my life. We've been together almost 4 years and boy - did he come out of nowhere! Thing is - these things happen. It only takes one person to turn a decision like that on its head but the point is, the person comes first then the change of mind. Generally the other way round doesn't work out.

If someone doesn't want to be with you because of your weight or the way you look, then you don't want to be with them now, or in the future when you fit their ideal of how you should look.