Motivation after a break-up?

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qstneverything
qstneverything Posts: 125 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hey everyone,

Has anybody been motivated to lose weight after a break up?

My ex isn't a bad person and it's not that I want to show him what he's missing out on (Although I can't deny it wouldn't be great to bump into him down the track and look fabulous) it's more the fact I can't enjoy going out and being single as much as I would have a couple of years ago because I don't feel confident in my own skin anymore.

Just wondering if anyone was in the same boat as me, and more motivated to lose weight after the break-up, rather than the stereotypical opposite of binge eating and being depressed.

Thanks x
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Replies

  • Caitishu2017
    Caitishu2017 Posts: 2 Member
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    I absolutely have! I broke up with my ex 5 weeks ago, and it really has motivated me to lose weight. It's not that I want him back or anything... I just want to show him... At the same time, though, he is not a bad guys and it does not make much logical sense for me to want to "show him." It's a weird feeling, but I am definitely feeling it! XD
  • SillaWinchester
    SillaWinchester Posts: 363 Member
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    The first guy who had my heart left me for another girl back in February so you can say I was devastated by it but definitely motivated to get into shape. Partially for the snotty reasons (bumping into him down the road and looking hot enough to make him regret choosing her over me) and partially because being sad/angry motivates me to get moving (it's revenge in my head).

    I guess I'm just tired of being rejected because of my weight. I can't help but think that if I was smaller he might of chosen me (not that he was shallow like that, I just don't have confidence in myself because of my weight.)

    So basically, yes, I can relate. :/
  • bucket0
    bucket0 Posts: 7 Member
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    I just broke up with my ex at the end of March and I've really gotten into getting healthy. Everybody needs time for themself after a break up and what better way to do that than to put time into improving yourself. Trying to lose weight/tone up/get healthy is a spiritual journey and it's a great way to remind yourself of how strong you are all by yourself. It gets you back in touch qith your self worth. I wish I had known this years ago for the post breakup clean ups :)
  • BillyJan1992
    BillyJan1992 Posts: 171 Member
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    After my gf broke up with me I have had no motivation whatsoever until a couple people stepped back into my life and made me happy and me see the light
  • Nicolee_2014
    Nicolee_2014 Posts: 1,572 Member
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    It is always good to feel and look good when you see people from your past :smile: , but, the most important person to do it for.....is yourself (obviously you already know that) :flowerforyou:
  • sjmrox4ever
    sjmrox4ever Posts: 8
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    The funny thing is, the reason I came back onto this site was because I had a HUGE surge in motivation after my girlfriend and I broke up very recently. Then I see this topic in the recent topic section by coincidence. To answer your question though, yes! Take advantage of the surge in motivation, if you don't it might manifest in some other way (like binge eating, or sitting alone crying).
  • SpicesOfLife
    SpicesOfLife Posts: 290 Member
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    success is the best revenge!

    its normal, even if they arent bad guys. our egos are hurt and need him to regret the break up and for some reason we girls think weight will make a difference. but hey, whatever motivates right? :)
  • silencioesoro
    silencioesoro Posts: 318 Member
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    It got my mind off of things with my last break up - way back, about 7 and half years ago. I didn't lose for him, but it sure felt good when he realized that I looked better after the break up.
  • qstneverything
    qstneverything Posts: 125 Member
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    I'm glad people can relate! :)

    The breakup was amicable and fairly mutual (I was the one who initially broke up with him, but we spoke about it a week or so later and he agreed he didn't want to get back together) so I'm lucky in that sense.

    I used to be a tiny little thing though and he made a few comments when he saw older photos of me that he wasn't pleased I no longer look like that.

    Well too bad fella, I am going to look like that again and unfortunately it won't be for you. :)

    Feel free to add me, guys!
  • Mandie69
    Mandie69 Posts: 65 Member
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    I broke up with my ex 18 months ago and it's only been in the last couple of months that I have felt confident enough to start dating again albeit using a dating website. I do, however, feel I have to explain to anyone that messages me that I'm no supermodel and that I have curves.....surprisingly I have found that most men LIKE curves!!
    So girls lose weight for you but remember.....men do like shape!!! ????
  • suegreg77
    suegreg77 Posts: 14 Member
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    Yup, exactly the same here. After dumping me my ex started seeing a much more petite, smarter woman which totally destroyed my confidence. It's weird, I kinda feel guilty that this is my motivation - everyone tells you that you should lose weight for yourself not for someone else, it doesn't feel like a good enough reason. Maybe I do just want to look good next time I see him, but I'd much rather feel good about myself whenI have to face him again...
  • cnl91_W
    cnl91_W Posts: 89 Member
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    Yes, yes yes. I gained about 15 pounds in a relationship on top of some weight I'd already gained after starting a desk job. When I broke up with him, I realized that I wanted to be able to go out, socialize and be confident. Enter MFP, it's been awesome for all of the above :)
  • gooserocks85
    gooserocks85 Posts: 48 Member
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    a couple years ago I lost around 20lbs in a lame attempt to get my ex back - while it resulted in a few fun hook-ups, it didn't address the root problem of him just not feeling the same way about me. hot body or not, he wasn't interested in a relationship. i ended up gaining the weight back because my main source of motivation disappeared.

    for those of you wanting to hit the gym after a break-up, do it for your own emotional and physical health. do it with the right intentions.
  • Diesel_Girl
    Diesel_Girl Posts: 39
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    bumping for more info.

    My bf of 10 months just broke up with me yesterday and while I'm unclear of the reasons I have no hope for a reconciliation. The plan is to get in the gym, I've stayed consistent with my workouts the last month, I won't let this bump in the road stop me now.
  • nunu2710
    nunu2710 Posts: 8 Member
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    I broke up with my boyfriend in april, it motivated me to a certain point where at first i was thinking "il show him what hes missing" but now im doing this for me! i want to buy new clothes...go outside with confidence and just be healthy!!

    whatever motivates you is what is important.
  • ew_david
    ew_david Posts: 3,473 Member
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    I'm glad you're doing it for you because that whole "I'm gonna show him!!!" mentality doesn't last very long.
  • kcpond
    kcpond Posts: 654 Member
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    Glad you found the motivation to do it for yourself. And glad you have found someone that supports you :smiley: .

    I am presently going through the same thing, and I believe I am doing it for the right reasons. I am recently separated from my wife and I have decided to put a renewed effort to lose some weight and get back into shape. I am planning on doing it for me and not to make her jealous or anything like that, as we have 2 kids in the picture.

    Anyways, congratulations on your progress and your wedding.
  • qstneverything
    qstneverything Posts: 125 Member
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    It's good to keep your mind busy :) rather than doing it for revenge, do it to keep yourself occupied and become a better you.

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