No will power :(

Vigilance88

This stuff is tough. Life was simpler when we were running to or from wild animals for food or survival. Now, pre-made crap practically throws itself at you and your survival instincts say eat it. We're all in the same boat. Hang in there!

wut

I wish we had time machines, so people could experience the "simpler times".
Just cause you see food doesn't mean you have to stuff yourself with it.

JustinAnimal

This stuff is tough. Life was simpler when we were running to or from wild animals for food or survival. Now, pre-made crap practically throws itself at you and your survival instincts say eat it. We're all in the same boat. Hang in there!

wut

I wish we had time machines, so people could experience the "simpler times".
Just cause you see food doesn't mean you have to stuff yourself with it.

Are you saying that survival instincts don't tell you to eat more than is healthy for us? I thought that was a good deal of the problem, your body wants the sugar and fat and surplus to carry around. I don't think it's healthy, but it was probably a good thing when food wasn't so abundant (thinking of cavemen). I don't fully understand what you disagree with? In the wild, food is the name of the game. Most animals spend all of their time searching for food and then mating periodically. From my understanding, humans weren't really any different until we started to figure out this society thing.

Vigilance88

I disagree you blaming the abundance of food ("pre-made crap practically throws itself at you").

My brain tells me to eat when I'm hungry, not when I see a MC Donald's sign. Hunger/satiety is an entire different thing. If you were used to stuffing yourself with 4000 cals daily, you are 'hungry' at 2000 cals. It's a matter of what your body and mind is used to.
Comparing human instincts to other animals is pretty far fetched too, since we rarely deal with such situations. I don't think seeing MC Donald's --> ordering big macs is an instinct.

We also have significantly better and longer lives. Let's use our evolved brains and enjoy everything in moderation.
If you want to live as a caveman go ahead :drinker:

WendyTerry420

I disagree you blaming the abundance of food ("pre-made crap practically throws itself at you").

My brain tells me to eat when I'm hungry, not when I see a MC Donald's sign. Hunger/satiety is an entire different thing. If you were used to stuffing yourself with 4000 cals daily, you are 'hungry' at 2000 cals. It's a matter of what your body and mind is used to.
Comparing human instincts to other animals is pretty far fetched too, since we rarely deal with such situations. I don't think seeing MC Donald's --> ordering big macs is an instinct.

We also have significantly better and longer lives. Let's use our evolved brains and enjoy everything in moderation.
If you want to live as a caveman go ahead :drinker:

^^ True


And the difference between humans and the animal kingdom is that we have free will. We can make choices because, unlike animals, we are not bound by instinct.

JustinAnimal

I must not be articulating myself very well. I've seen plenty of documentaries that say humans are prone to stocking up on food due to survival instincts. Sort of like how men are pigs (b/c we're coded to spread the seed) and women are more nurturing (b/c they're coded to raise families). That's just the way it was, as I've been told and from what I've read. I realize that those two things I just said are considered stereotypes now and most people will shout me down as a bigot or something, but at least I admitted they are stereotypes, not universal truths.

Anyway, I guess no one feels that humans are coded to intake food when they have it, to compensate for food shortages and unknowns down the road. It's weird to get that reaction, because I've never heard anyone say differently about early humans or the way our bodies are programmed. I don't ever recall saying we didn't have free will or the ability to exercise will power, just that food is extremely abundant (we don't have to hunt / forage for it) and it's easier to listen to those "stock up" instincts.

Honestly, both of your responses confuse me. I don't get how this isn't making sense...

Apologies if I'm not explaining myself very well.

ETA: Obviously, we aren't cave people, women don't have to be nurturing or "prude," men don't have to be cheating, objectifying sex maniacs with multiple partners, and humans don't need to stock up on food. I'm just saying that instincts from early humans have left their marks on us, at least with some people and to some degree. Saying that everything I said is NOT true makes about as much sense as my saying it would be true for EVERYONE.

Vigilance88

Were you watching doomsday preppers?

Sorry. Seriously though, I get your angle. It is easier to get food so its easier to overeat. I still don't think you should blame the abundance of food for someones lack of willpower. And the "stocking up instinct" I've personally never heard of. I don't see the causality.

TAMSMI23

Sorry to hear that you are struggling with will power. I recommend an appetite suppressant until you've had at least 28 days to build some good habits. For me eating better is harder than quitting cigarettes. If your problem is drinking or smoking, you have to wait special times to have it, you certainly can't have it at work. If you have a drinking or smoking problem, no one encourages you to have a drink or smoke because they know its' bad for you, so it makes it easier to avoid. Food however is one of those things that's everywhere and no one is going to stop you when you are feeling weak. Every week cakes in the office, parties, cookouts, you can't get away and there is certainly no shortage of people saying, just one won't hurt, but that's how we got in trouble in the first place.

Try to surround yourself with like minded people. Find an outlet to channel your emotions when you are stressed like cleaning or exercising every time you feel the urge. Writing about your journal will help you log your trigger points and avoid them in the future. Don't give up. The alternative is getting sick and not being functional. Food kills us slowly when we make bad choices but it's still the center of all celebrations, weddings, parties, and other enjoyable things, just make smart choices and you'll be able to make some progress.

leggup

My weight loss never stuck until I went to counseling and got help understanding my emotions and the things that were driving me to eat. You need to fix the underlying issue before the weight loss will ever become permanent.

This. Something internal is holding you back. I highly recommend counseling.

Jlennhikes

Lots of good advice so far, and I know what helps me is to be mindful of how much worse I'll feel after I give in to the temptation. The fun of eating is far outweighed by the misery of losing control, the feeling of failure/guilt, and the ultimate result of staying at an unhealthy weight. I finally got to the point where it became a much easier choice. Also, getting moving with some exercise will give you almost immediate mental results and quick physical results too.

maillemaker

Sorry. Seriously though, I get your angle. It is easier to get food so its easier to overeat. I still don't think you should blame the abundance of food for someones lack of willpower. And the "stocking up instinct" I've personally never heard of. I don't see the causality.

The fact is, our bodies evolved during times of food scarcity, and they evolved to store energy as fat when food was plentiful. They also evolved to protect those energy stores.

Now, in an era of cheap, tasty, calorie-dense food, it is trivial to become overweight, and that is why most Americans are overweight. Humans do not have a calorie gas gauge. If you don't count your calories, and you just eat when you feel hungry and eat "typical" foods until you are not hungry anymore, and do that three times a day, odds are very high that you will be eating a calorie surplus without even knowing it.

And it only takes a 3% surplus over several years to become overweight.

Worse, it appears that once you get fat, your body will fight to maintain that level of fat storage by reducing your metabolism and increasing feelings of hunger. Someone who has lost weight will have a metabolism that is 12-20% lower than someone of the same body mass who was never overweight. And they have tracked this in people who have maintained their weight loss for years, which means the effect may be permanent.

That is why it is so hard to lose weight. As my psychologist friend told me years ago, weight loss is basically an exercise in pain tolerance. Most people can't endure it long term which is why 80%-97% of people who try to lose weight fail long term.

http://videocast.nih.gov/summary.asp?live=2993&bhcp=20

Vigilance88

The fact is, our bodies evolved during times of food scarcity, and they evolved to store energy as fat when food was plentiful. They also evolved to protect those energy stores.

Now, in an era of cheap, tasty, calorie-dense food, it is trivial to become overweight, and that is why most Americans are overweight. Humans do not have a calorie gas gauge. If you don't count your calories, and you just eat when you feel hungry and eat "typical" foods until you are not hungry anymore, and do that three times a day, odds are very high that you will be eating a calorie surplus without even knowing it.

No we are overweight because we move drastically less in just 50 years (modern comfort), and apparently can't control ourselves in abundance of food. What about the people that never get fat, do they have the magic "fast metabolisms"? No they somehow know how to eat at maintenance. Are they the special snowflakes now? Doubt it. Your body is perfectly capable of "gauging", if you eat with common sense. If I eat "typical" food instead of fast food the sheer amount (volume) of food will be enough to not overeat.

Worse, it appears that once you get fat, your body will fight to maintain that level of fat storage by reducing your metabolism and increasing feelings of hunger. Someone who has lost weight will have a metabolism that is 12-20% lower than someone of the same body mass who was never overweight. And they have tracked this in people who have maintained their weight loss for years, which means the effect may be permanent.

what? I'm pretty sure the "fat people have low metabolism" myth has been debunked a long time ago. If it was true people counting calories wouldn't be losing like they are.

That is why it is so hard to lose weight. As my psychologist friend told me years ago, weight loss is basically an exercise in pain tolerance. Most people can't endure it long term which is why 80%-97% of people who try to lose weight fail long term.

It isn't hard though. I've been eating under maintenance for 9 months now and haven't been hungry at the end of any day. If you restrict yourself from food groups or certain macro's are evil, then yeah it might be hard. If you only eat cake and icecream it will be pretty hard too, cuz it's not very filling. Personal choice.

WendyTerry420

That is why it is so hard to lose weight. As my psychologist friend told me years ago, weight loss is basically an exercise in pain tolerance. Most people can't endure it long term which is why 80%-97% of people who try to lose weight fail long term.

Once you are educated and of the mind to do it, losing weight isn't all that hard.

cathylaine712

Get back on the horse - your other options are to stay where you are now (which you don't like) or gain weight (which is even worse). Been there so many times myself Keep the faith!

Akimajuktuq

Seriously, it's not all about willpower. If your body is not properly nourished no amount of willpower will prevent it trying to get the nutrients it needs. For some of us, it's the FOOD. Changing what one eats can make all the difference for some people. (Note: I did not say "everyone".)

donnaat27

It's the hardest thing, especially when your emotions are tied to your diet. First off, remember that doing nothing about it will render no results, so hats off for talking about it and starting over. Next, eat as you do for one week but carry a pen and paper (if you don't have MFP on the go) and log every single thing (plus drinks and alcohol). At the end of the week work out the average daily calorie intake and eat 100 calories less per day for the second week. Keep going by reducing your calories (every week) by 50/100 per day once you can happily cope with the current intake. If you start finding you are constantly going over your limit, keep it steady for a few weeks or months even, until your stomach has shrunk a bit and you body gets used to the limit. Also bear in mind that you don't have to eat 3 meals a day (if you do). On a bad day just have that ice cream instead of a meal. Never let yourself get too hungry. Eat a banana before or whilst preparing a meal. Go slow and steady, whatever you do, don't try and lose 4 pounds a week by starving yourself. Even 50 calories deficit per week (one biscuit) and you'll lose weight eventually. Good luck!

veredit

I can tell you my story: my only thoughts were to log everything I eat and work out hard. I wiped out of my brain that I want to get rid of my fat and I wasn't even think about that, no scale, no nothing. I weighed myself for the first time after 5 months, and I found out that I was 35 lbs thinner. Did the same for another few months, and lost a final 57 lbs. Just logging and working out as hard as I could. It wasn't hard at all. Just keeping an eye all the time at MFP, logging every single bite. It really was that simple. No will power needed.

PJPrimrose

Congratulations on the 30 lost! Whoop! Now, get up, dust yourself off, and start again. Up and downs aren't failures. They're learning experiences. Learn from this (I really shouldn't have my very favorite XYZ in the house but will allow myself to buy a small package of it when I lose X pounds as a reward). You can do this! Keep going!

DanielleH1213

I've been there. I've been told I had to lose weight due to health issues. I've been told I needed to lose weight cause people are worried about me. I've wanted to lose weight to keep a bf. I've been through so many of those types of issues. And I was an emotional eater myself. But this time something clicked. I'm tired of doing the same thing with the same results. Lose weight keep it off for a little then gain more back. This time I'm doing it because I want to do it. I want to be able to wear clothes and feel cute in them. I want to be healthier for me. I want to be able to run around with my step son and not get winded. I want to be able to children without it being a high risk pregnancy. I want to do it and make it a permanent change! It has taken 29 years to get this mindset. The only advice I can give you is for you to find the reason that YOU want to lose the weight. Not any other reason from any other person including doctors. I started slow. I started eating the same foods but smaller portions. Then a few weeks in I join this site (so you are already ahead of where I was). I tracked my food no matter what I ate. And every week I would look at what I ate each day and finally I started noticing things that I could take out of my diet that I wouldn't miss. I used to think I would miss bread. I switched to sandwich thins instead of regular bread then a few weeks later I stopped eating the sandwich thins. Now I only eat them once or twice a week. I used to love pasta. Still do. But I limited the amount I was eating and I noticed I started to feel better. So not I only have it once a week at most. And I don't eat a lot of it because I feel bloated afterwards. But I still want to be able to have it. I don't really crave sweets anymore, and since I rarely eat them I allow myself to indulge occasionally. Like when celebrating a birthday this weekend I ate a small slice of ice cream cake. Just enough to enjoy it without feeling guilty. And today I needed a pick me up so I got a frap from Starbucks. Both times the sweets fit into my calorie count for the day. I also track my food as I eat rather than plan and log the whole day. That way if I get to 4pm and I notice I only have 400 calories for the rest of the day, I go out and take a 30 minutes walk so that I can eat a normal dinner and not feel guilty.

Bottom line: you have to find what works for you. And that includes figuring out how to enjoy food without using it to smother emotions. If I have a moment where I feel the need to eat because of something stressful or emotional, I go grab watermelon. You can get really full off of it and the calorie count is really low. You are going to fall off the wagon a few times while trying to figure out the best method for you. Its ok. Just get back on and try a different approach.

Good luck!

robmckim2

Thank you, I needed to see this!

robmckim2

I've been in a very similar boat, so I feel ya!

My best piece of advice, that I've really taken to heart this time around... ENJOY your journey. Don't limit yourself or say "NO" right away to "bad" foods. I found that in the past I was so quick to pass on everything I viewed as being "bad", and that wasn't me being very realistic.

You CAN have pizza, you CAN have a bowl of ice cream, you CAN meet up with friends for a drink/dinner/etc. Just track it and move on. Don't let it sabotage your day/week/mission. I've been really guilty of this. But now I have a salad with my one slice of pizza, I weigh out my ice cream (and buy the light stuff!!!), and I meet up with friends but make wiser choices for myself and what I'm trying to do.

You're worth it. Your happiness is worth it. And you CAN do it. We all stumble, fall a bit, but it's how you handle that fall that matters. Get back up, and keep on goin'!

Thanks for sharing, this was something I needed to read. Now just to put it to better action!

Koldnomore

Some great advice here!

Losing weight is a great goal but it doesn't change what's in your head. It's just like having money. I have it just makes you MORE of what you already are being thinner doesn't automatically make you happier on more than just a superficial level. That's why people who have an abnormal relationship with food find getting healthier so tough - much tougher than someone who just got fat because they eat too much (like me).

Before you can have long term sucess, the other stuff needs to get taken care of. New ways of coping with life's challenges need to be in place so that when you hit the wall (and we ALL have times when we just want to say F'ck it! ) you won't automatically go off the deep end.

Find someone to help you find those mechanisms. Talk to a councilor, get therapy if you need it. Above all, realize that there are people who have been there and can help you, when you decide that you are serious about wanting to be HEALTHY and not just thinner

maillemaker

No we are overweight because we move drastically less in just 50 years (modern comfort), and apparently can't control ourselves in abundance of food.

Yes, reduced activity certainly plays a role also.

What about the people that never get fat, do they have the magic "fast metabolisms"? No they somehow know how to eat at maintenance. Are they the special snowflakes now? Doubt it.

However, most people in the United States are overweight. There may be a few "special snowflakes" with faster metabolisms, but most people don't, and that's why most people are overweight. Most people simply eat when they are hungry and stop when they are not hungry, and this can easily result in a calorie surplus. Even a small surplus over a few years can result in being overweight.

Your body is perfectly capable of "gauging", if you eat with common sense. If I eat "typical" food instead of fast food the sheer amount (volume) of food will be enough to not overeat.

Clearly we have different ideas of "typical" food . When I said "typical", I was including all the junk food that the typical American eats, including fast food. This is the way I typically eat when I am not counting calories. For example, your typical meal at Burger King, a Whopper with no cheese, a medium fry, and a medium Coke will net you 1350 calories. If you add a small milk shake for dessert that is another 580 calories, for a total of 1930 calories for a single meal. For many people this would consume their entire daily allotment of calories or a very large percentage of it. Yet this would just be a single meal out of probably 3 meals in the day.

what? I'm pretty sure the "fat people have low metabolism" myth has been debunked a long time ago. If it was true people counting calories wouldn't be losing like they are.

I suggest you watch the video I linked to before:

http://videocast.nih.gov/summary.asp?live=2993&bhcp=20

I did not say "fat people have low metabolism". What the research is showing is that when you lose body fat, your leptin levels decline. When leptin declines, it kicks off a bunch of other hormonal changes that trigger your body's fat store defense mechanisms. One of these is to reduce your metabolism. Another is to increase your sensation of hunger. And this affect persists for years in patients who kept the weight off for that long. A person who was obese and lost weight ends up with a metabolism that is 12%-20% less than a person of the same body mass who was never obese. That means that even when you hit your goal weight you will have to eat 12%-20% less food just to maintain.

It isn't hard though. I've been eating under maintenance for 9 months now and haven't been hungry at the end of any day. If you restrict yourself from food groups or certain macro's are evil, then yeah it might be hard. If you only eat cake and icecream it will be pretty hard too, cuz it's not very filling. Personal choice.

It's a personal choice that 80%-97% of the people who try to make fail to make. So it must be harder than you think. Some doctors are now saying that behavior modification for weight loss is not effective. Again, suggest you watch the video.

Bernadette60614

Also, find ways you can feel successful!

For me, something which keeps me on track is working out daily. I have to get an hour of exercise every day. It could be at the gym, it could be walking for an hour...but knowing that every day I have that one goal which I CAN achieve gives me confidence.

All of us have some accomplishments in our lives...we could be great friends, great employees, great neighbors. Or, you could just be that person who asks a terrific question on MFP.

If you see yourself and your body as treasures to be cherished and nurtured with the best possible habits, it is IMHO, a better mindset than viewing yourself as someone who is without willpower.

maillemaker

To me, having MFP friends who are watching is what motivates me. So get active friends lined up to support you!