Really? REALLY?!

2

Replies

  • 1HappyRedhead
    1HappyRedhead Posts: 413 Member
    He's just hatin cause he knows he don't have a snowball's chance in Hades to get with you.... so he's gotta say something to try to bring you down, that's all. Dumb*ss. :flowerforyou:
  • BurntCoffee
    BurntCoffee Posts: 234 Member
    Why is he so comfortable talking to you like that? Have you ever established firm boundaries with him?
  • LC458
    LC458 Posts: 300 Member
    Jealousy is ugly on EVERYONE, including this a**
    You sound like you're doing fabulous! Keep doing what you're doing

    :drinker:
  • sassyjae21
    sassyjae21 Posts: 1,217 Member
    No offense, but if he's persistently harassing you, why haven't you gone to HR about this? This is BIG!

    No offense taken :)

    I tend to be a little too laid back about things. He's more of an annoyance than anything. But now I've gotten pissy because he's never been insulting. It usually has to be something pretty big like someone making a pass at me or something gross, before I do anything about it.

    But now he's pissed me off so I kind of feel like the gloves are off at this point :explode:
  • Mario_Az
    Mario_Az Posts: 1,331 Member
    he probably just likes you just talk to him and tell him you don't appreciate the snide remarks. i'm sure he will stop after that don't go running to HR and start an even bigger problem just address it with him problem solved :)
  • fitfreakymom
    fitfreakymom Posts: 1,400 Member
    Next time he says something rude just tell him to **** off and then just walk away lol.
  • sassyjae21
    sassyjae21 Posts: 1,217 Member
    Why is he so comfortable talking to you like that? Have you ever established firm boundaries with him?

    Because he's a jerk?

    I typically don't have to go around to males "establishing boundaries" with them. Not that full of myself.
  • sassyjae21
    sassyjae21 Posts: 1,217 Member
    Jealousy is ugly on EVERYONE, including this a**
    You sound like you're doing fabulous! Keep doing what you're doing

    :drinker:

    Thank you :):flowerforyou:
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    I'd excuse him if he'd just said you were going to blow away (totally annoying still), but him telling you that you'd look like a crackhead is stupid. He sounds like a Dbag.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    he probably just likes you just talk to him and tell him you don't appreciate the snide remarks. i'm sure he will stop after that don't go running to HR and start an even bigger problem just address it with him problem solved :)

    I agree that he probably thinks you're hot and wants you to stay as his ideal body type.
  • esaucier17
    esaucier17 Posts: 694 Member
    I am floored. So I was walking down the hallway back to my desk at work.

    A (big) dude/coworker who is always semi harassing me saw me passing by and decided he would open his mouth about my weight loss.

    I thought to myself "here we go".

    Him: You're about to blow away girl

    Me: No, I'm ok.

    Him: You sure you alright? You look like one of those starving kids in Africa. Why are you losing weight? You're gonna end up looking like that girl in the wellness department that looks like an anorexic crack head. Black women should always maintain their curves. Are you sick? You're looking like a waif.

    I just walked off because I'm at work. Had I reacted the way I wanted, his head would have been flying down the stairs. I always read these stories about people who have comments said to them about their weight loss, and I have had a few, but nothing as extreme. I always thought maybe people really weren't THAT stupid. Wrong again. Jae: 0, Humanity: 435879834380293

    For the record, I am 5'4 and 125lbs. I started off at 138. So my weight loss has not been drastic. I never really was big. I am still plenty healthy and I look fine (I thought). What the hell is wrong with people? It makes me feel like I need to put on some weight even though I KNOW i'm at a healthy weight. /end rant.

    Wow I get these comments at my job alot too. And I'm similar to your size and height 5'4 started at about 146lbs now I'm 119lbs
    It's very annoying. I just laugh it off but when they say you have "no more butt" or you look like "you're gonna blow away" it really bugs me. I've worked hard as hell as I know you have too and I feel great! Don't let it get to you...happens more than we realized I guess!
  • Cathalain
    Cathalain Posts: 424 Member
    Unfortunately, it's people like this that need boundaries set, from the get-go, or the comments will never stop.

    If this person were employed where I am (the Federal government), I can assure you that comments like the ones he made to you would have warranted an IMMEDIATE (and permanent) write-up in their record. The gubmint doesn't play when it comes to harassment claims.

    I'd report him just to send him the message that he can't get away with it, but that's just me.

    For what it's worth, you look gorgeous! :smile:
  • sassyjae21
    sassyjae21 Posts: 1,217 Member
    Unfortunately, it's people like this that need boundaries set, from the get-go, or the comments will never stop.

    If this person were employed where I am (the Federal government), I can assure you that comments like the ones he made to you would have warranted an IMMEDIATE (and permanent) write-up in their record. The gubmint doesn't play when it comes to harassment claims.

    I'd report him just to send him the message that he can't get away with it, but that's just me.

    For what it's worth, you look gorgeous! :smile:

    You're right, and you can bet it won't happen again.
  • Bownzi
    Bownzi Posts: 423 Member
    You could reply back nope I'm not loosing weight you are just getting fatter...lol just saying...
  • PJPrimrose
    PJPrimrose Posts: 916 Member
    I wonder if you can roll your eyes hard enough to knock yourself over? Boy, howdy we'd have found out THAT day! What an epic dumb *kitten*. Some guys are just so damn stupid you wonder how they remember to breathe. How entirely irritating. I'm sorry!
  • Jestinia
    Jestinia Posts: 1,153 Member
    You said he's a big dude, tell him he looks like he's about to explode if he eats one more bite of food and how scared you are that he'll trip and fall and squash someone flat. Judging by your avatar picture, you look great and healthy, too. Your coworker needs to shut up and mind his own business.
  • Jerseygrrl
    Jerseygrrl Posts: 189 Member
    he probably just likes you just talk to him and tell him you don't appreciate the snide remarks. i'm sure he will stop after that don't go running to HR and start an even bigger problem just address it with him problem solved :)

    I agree that he probably thinks you're hot and wants you to stay as his ideal body type.

    ^^^ THIS is the mentality that allows harassment to flourish in the workplace.
    SHE'S not the one starting a problem. HE is. I'm a manager. We want to know if you're being treated inappropriately. And the problem is NEVER that of the person being harassed.
  • Bownzi
    Bownzi Posts: 423 Member
    Or you could just walk around him next time and say he is so big you feel like your in orbit...he might stop talking to you..
  • sassyjae21
    sassyjae21 Posts: 1,217 Member
    Or you could just walk around him next time and say he is so big you feel like your in orbit...he might stop talking to you..

    Lol your comebacks are funny
  • MelissaPhippsFeagins
    MelissaPhippsFeagins Posts: 8,063 Member
    First things first: assuming that's you in your profile picture, you look fit and healthy and good for you.

    Questions for your co-worker:
    1) How many crack heads do you know?
    2) Do only black women need to keep their curves or can women of other ethnicity have them too? (Let me know his answer because my maternal grandmother's family is Melungeon and no one even knows for sure what our ethnicity is, but we're curvy women.)
    3) Why is your weight or the weight of the "woman in wellness" any of his business?
    4) Don't you have work to do?

    Question for your HR manager: Do you have to address this with him before they do something about it? If the answer is yes, then address it with him. If the answer is now, then they should address it for you.
  • WhiteRabbit1313
    WhiteRabbit1313 Posts: 1,091 Member
    I am floored. So I was walking down the hallway back to my desk at work.

    A (big) dude/coworker who is always semi harassing me saw me passing by and decided he would open his mouth about my weight loss.

    I thought to myself "here we go".

    Him: You're about to blow away girl

    Me: No, I'm ok.

    Him: You sure you alright? You look like one of those starving kids in Africa. Why are you losing weight? You're gonna end up looking like that girl in the wellness department that looks like an anorexic crack head. Black women should always maintain their curves. Are you sick? You're looking like a waif.

    I just walked off because I'm at work. Had I reacted the way I wanted, his head would have been flying down the stairs. I always read these stories about people who have comments said to them about their weight loss, and I have had a few, but nothing as extreme. I always thought maybe people really weren't THAT stupid. Wrong again. Jae: 0, Humanity: 435879834380293

    For the record, I am 5'4 and 125lbs. I started off at 138. So my weight loss has not been drastic. I never really was big. I am still plenty healthy and I look fine (I thought). What the hell is wrong with people? It makes me feel like I need to put on some weight even though I KNOW i'm at a healthy weight. /end rant.

    You should have baffled him with an equally silly question: "huh?! What makes you think I'm black?" and walk off. Lol!

    Seriously, it's really none of his business what you weigh/how you look, and you had every right to tell him that his comments were mashing you uncomfortable and that they were more than inappropriate for work topics of discussion.

    Not to mention, you look GREAT! So, don't let him harsh your progress. You KNOW I'll tell you if you're getting sickly looking... But you won't, because you're like me: you enjoy your food! Good job on 125!!!!
  • sassyjae21
    sassyjae21 Posts: 1,217 Member
    I am floored. So I was walking down the hallway back to my desk at work.

    A (big) dude/coworker who is always semi harassing me saw me passing by and decided he would open his mouth about my weight loss.

    I thought to myself "here we go".

    Him: You're about to blow away girl

    Me: No, I'm ok.

    Him: You sure you alright? You look like one of those starving kids in Africa. Why are you losing weight? You're gonna end up looking like that girl in the wellness department that looks like an anorexic crack head. Black women should always maintain their curves. Are you sick? You're looking like a waif.

    I just walked off because I'm at work. Had I reacted the way I wanted, his head would have been flying down the stairs. I always read these stories about people who have comments said to them about their weight loss, and I have had a few, but nothing as extreme. I always thought maybe people really weren't THAT stupid. Wrong again. Jae: 0, Humanity: 435879834380293

    For the record, I am 5'4 and 125lbs. I started off at 138. So my weight loss has not been drastic. I never really was big. I am still plenty healthy and I look fine (I thought). What the hell is wrong with people? It makes me feel like I need to put on some weight even though I KNOW i'm at a healthy weight. /end rant.

    You should have baffled him with an equally silly question: "huh?! What makes you think I'm black?" and walk off. Lol!

    Seriously, it's really none of his business what you weigh/how you look, and you had every right to tell him that his comments were mashing you uncomfortable and that they were more than inappropriate for work topics of discussion.

    Not to mention, you look GREAT! So, don't let him harsh your progress. You KNOW I'll tell you if you're getting sickly looking... But you won't, because you're like me: you enjoy your food! Good job on 125!!!!

    :laugh:
  • sassyjae21
    sassyjae21 Posts: 1,217 Member
    First things first: assuming that's you in your profile picture, you look fit and healthy and good for you.

    Questions for your co-worker:
    1) How many crack heads do you know?
    2) Do only black women need to keep their curves or can women of other ethnicity have them too? (Let me know his answer because my maternal grandmother's family is Melungeon and no one even knows for sure what our ethnicity is, but we're curvy women.)
    3) Why is your weight or the weight of the "woman in wellness" any of his business?
    4) Don't you have work to do?

    Question for your HR manager: Do you have to address this with him before they do something about it? If the answer is yes, then address it with him. If the answer is now, then they should address it for you.

    Thanks :) that pic was about 2 months ago and I'm only about 2 or 3 pounds down from that, but you can't really tell.

    Maybe what he was saying to me will get him thinking about his own weight and health! Not that I give a rat's *kitten* about his health lol
  • WhiteRabbit1313
    WhiteRabbit1313 Posts: 1,091 Member
    First things first: assuming that's you in your profile picture, you look fit and healthy and good for you.

    Questions for your co-worker:
    1) How many crack heads do you know?
    2) Do only black women need to keep their curves or can women of other ethnicity have them too? (Let me know his answer because my maternal grandmother's family is Melungeon and no one even knows for sure what our ethnicity is, but we're curvy women.)
    3) Why is your weight or the weight of the "woman in wellness" any of his business?
    4) Don't you have work to do?

    Question for your HR manager: Do you have to address this with him before they do something about it? If the answer is yes, then address it with him. If the answer is now, then they should address it for you.

    All extremely valid points, and I'm curious about #2, as well. I have curves. If I'm not the correct race to have them, then what does he think I should do with them? :noway:
  • veritas_rasa
    veritas_rasa Posts: 7 Member
    You guys need to lighten up. He's just making conversation. Think of a witty comment for next time or just say "thanks for noticing but I think I'm shaping up nice". Calling for HR to bring him up on harassment is overkill. You really want to get this guy fired for saying he likes curvey women?
  • KingofWisdom
    KingofWisdom Posts: 229 Member
    Except that isn't what he said.
  • WhiteRabbit1313
    WhiteRabbit1313 Posts: 1,091 Member
    You guys need to lighten up. He's just making conversation. Think of a witty comment for next time or just say "thanks for noticing but I think I'm shaping up nice". Calling for HR to bring him up on harassment is overkill. You really want to get this guy fired for saying he likes curvey women?

    Don't be silly. You don't get fired on your first infraction. Standard protocol is a verbal warning the first time it happens, in which they just inform him that what he said was inappropriate. So, understanding how things work, in companies that have an HR dept., maybe you're the one who needs to lighten up.

    Not to mention, it doesn't matter WHERE this conversation took place; he should know that his comments are unwarranted and offensive.
  • sassyjae21
    sassyjae21 Posts: 1,217 Member
    You guys need to lighten up. He's just making conversation. Think of a witty comment for next time or just say "thanks for noticing but I think I'm shaping up nice". Calling for HR to bring him up on harassment is overkill. You really want to get this guy fired for saying he likes curvey women?

    Don't be silly. You don't get fired on your first infraction. Standard protocol is a verbal warning the first time it happens, in which they just inform him that what he said was inappropriate. So, understanding how things work, in companies that have an HR dept., maybe you're the one who needs to lighten up.

    Not to mention, it doesn't matter WHERE this conversation took place; he should know that his comments are unwarranted and offensive.

    :flowerforyou: :love: yep
  • 32sami
    32sami Posts: 380 Member
    No matter what your body type everybody has an image of what they want for themselves, what I hate is and I get it a lot, people roll their eyes up at me like it's a joke. A few co-workers do this. I shouldn't have to apologize for having goals for myself, I work hard to be where I am, and I didn't put them where they are. They did that all by themselves. :/
  • veritas_rasa
    veritas_rasa Posts: 7 Member
    You guys need to lighten up. He's just making conversation. Think of a witty comment for next time or just say "thanks for noticing but I think I'm shaping up nice". Calling for HR to bring him up on harassment is overkill. You really want to get this guy fired for saying he likes curvey women?

    Don't be silly. You don't get fired on your first infraction. Standard protocol is a verbal warning the first time it happens, in which they just inform him that what he said was inappropriate. So, understanding how things work, in companies that have an HR dept., maybe you're the one who needs to lighten up.

    Not to mention, it doesn't matter WHERE this conversation took place; he should know that his comments are unwarranted and offensive.

    He remarks may have been unwanted but I don't see why everyone finds them so offensive that a man could lose his job over it (and he will too if he gets enough infractions). Why get HR involved at all? Do you think it's some kinda game? Seems like you all have a big chip on your shoulder. Save your outrage for real harassment.

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