How did I ever let "me" get away?

pinkgardens

Hi, My name is Chanda and I'm new to MFP and I think this is a great tool! I have 3 kids (boy-girl-boy / 26-21-17). I have a beautiful granddaughter named Aubrey who I love dearly! I'm divorced, but have finally found a man who truly loves me and treats me like an angel. (I'm very blessed!!!) I work for a state park in North Carolina and love it! I have a passion for anything pink (especially flowers, seashells, starfish and sand). And I also love dogs (I have my Yorkie Sophie and someday a Pointer).

On April 27, I turned 45. Five years ago, on my 40th birthday, I weighed 125lbs. This was after a long battle with myself, eating right and exercising faithfully (I did it the right way in other words!) I lost 52lbs and felt like for the first time in my life I had it under control. Half a journey into grad school, a divorce and a big move to North Carolina later, I now have 60 lbs extra I didn't bargain for. What happened to me? I'm happier now than I've been in years. I have a great man, a great job and live in a beautiful place. Yet, I've lost focus, drive, motivation and desire to be me. And I say to myself, "Self, how did I ever let "me" get away?"

Well, it's time! I quit smoking on March 23 after a scare with breathing (go figure) and high blood pressure (really high blood pressure - 183/102 SCARY!) I had only smoked for 2 years, but smoking is smoking! Anyhow, since then I just assumed if I could quit smoking, losing weight would be a piece of cake (no pun intended)! Well, it hasn't been at all. Food is much harder to deal with for me. BUT, I still feel like I'm moving in the right direction – just not in the gear I really want. I am off to a good start and know that time will test my dedication and genuine concern for health and fitness.

You know, I really loved how I looked when I was fit, but I have so many other reasons this time for getting back on track. One (and it was an eye opener), I can’t touch my feet and bend over without difficulty. How sad is that? That I’m having trouble bending down to put on shoes, clothes, socks, etc. How sad is that! Two, I want to be healthy and be a good example for others and my kids. For me, It’s not about the world views on beauty and weight. It’s about taking care of the body God gave me and enjoying life! Third, I love clothes and I want to be able to buy something cute and look pretty in it! Not crazy like, just be able to pick out something I like and feel great. I’m talking about loving myself, not looking for Hollywood glamor! I just want to love me again!

Sorry, so long. Hi everyone! I know it's hard work for all of us, but it is so worth it! Good luck and God bless you. :happy:

pgreco4479

Welcome. I am a 67 years old mother and grandmother and had the same trouble bending down and doing other everyday things. My husband bought me a fitbit for my birthday last November and that got me walking. My problem was that when I looked in the mirror I thought "I don't look like a 200 pound women" which showed just how much in denial I was, because I really did look and feel like a 200 pound women!! Walking got me started but I needed more so here I am on myfitnesspal.

This program takes a lot of time and dedication but I figure the time spent here is less time I have grazing the frig. A few of the changes I made are not to make weight my goal. I use goals like increases in steps taken a day (started out at 6000 now I usually walk 9000-10,000), increasing exercises and my favorite is trying on a pair of pants my daughter gave me for inspiration.

pinkgardens

Thanks for your thoughts and welcome! It's been a long 2 weeks, but I know I'm feeling better about it all. I keep thinking how I'm going to feel in three months doing what I am doing compared to how I'd feel if I did nothing. It motivates me to keep on keeping on. Thanks again!!! Keep up your good work! Best wishes!