Diary of a Compulsive Overeater - Day 20 (Part 2)

ellelit

Thanks for the support, i appreciate it. Here is my plan for today:

Breakfast:
1 blueberry muffin
1.5 cups apple juice
1 banana

Snack:
1 small yogurt
Mini carrots
22 almonds

Lunch:
1 cup w/w rotini with tomato sauce and 1 crumbled Italian sausage
Tossed salad with tomatoes, cukes and homemade olive oil vinaigrette

Snack:
1 apple sauce
1 80cal natural cheese stick
1 wasa cracker

Snack:
Mini carrots

Supper:
1 cup w/w rotini with tomato sauce and 1 crumbled Italian sausage
Tossed salad with tomatoes, cukes and homemade olive oil vinaigrette

Snack:
1 cup skim milk

I made a big batch of the pasta and sauce so i don’t have to cook for a couple days. It’s after lunch already, and so far so good. Lunch is about ½ the size as what i would normally eat, so we’ll see how full that keeps me. I packed a granola bar just in case i’m starving by 2pm i can have that. i’m feeling less *****y than i was this morning, and i apologize, it’s just so hard, and i felt like a total failure this morning. It’s hard when you have friends and family say, “oh just eat less” and comments like that because they just don’t understand. I hope this is a turning point for me. I hit a low point yesterday, and as i was throwing up in my sink, i thought to myself, “there has to be a way out of this”. Hopefully there is.

ellelit

Thanks for the support, i appreciate it. Here is my plan for today:

Breakfast:
1 blueberry muffin
1.5 cups apple juice
1 banana

Snack:
1 small yogurt
Mini carrots
22 almonds

Lunch:
1 cup w/w rotini with tomato sauce and 1 crumbled Italian sausage
Tossed salad with tomatoes, cukes and homemade olive oil vinaigrette

Snack:
1 apple sauce
1 80cal natural cheese stick
1 wasa cracker

Snack:
Mini carrots

Supper:
1 cup w/w rotini with tomato sauce and 1 crumbled Italian sausage
Tossed salad with tomatoes, cukes and homemade olive oil vinaigrette

Snack:
1 cup skim milk

I made a big batch of the pasta and sauce so i don’t have to cook for a couple days. It’s after lunch already, and so far so good. Lunch is about ½ the size as what i would normally eat, so we’ll see how full that keeps me. I packed a granola bar just in case i’m starving by 2pm i can have that. i’m feeling less *****y than i was this morning, and i apologize, it’s just so hard, and i felt like a total failure this morning. It’s hard when you have friends and family say, “oh just eat less” and comments like that because they just don’t understand. I hope this is a turning point for me. I hit a low point yesterday, and as i was throwing up in my sink, i thought to myself, “there has to be a way out of this”. Hopefully there is.

opatt23

Ellelit..

I just read your post and I thought I would share..I really identify with what your going through. Your on the right track though as far as preparing in advance...it will help some.

Anyway, I just picked up a great book titled "Overcoming Binge Eating" the author is Dr. Christopher G. Fairburn. So far it has some really great information. If you ever need to chat... opatt23@yahoo.com

Take care...:flowerforyou:

bloomin11

I haven't read any of your other posts, but if you are bulimic you should really seek medical help (if you haven't already done so) It has so much more to do with needing to be in control and self esteem than eating and hunger. Losing weight alone will not help you feel better about yourself. If you like who you are you will want to treat yourself better - and feel that you deserve to be treated better.

ellelit

i didn't throw up intentionally... i ate so much in so short a time that there was nowhere for the food to go but back up... i know i need help.

sarakenna1

I'm worried about you. Even though I don't really know you, I am compelled to respond to your last couple of posts... It looks like you usually binge when you are alone and it is quiet time; That's when the voice sneaks into your head that tells you to eat. I bet there is a third voice, one beyond the one telling you to bindge, and beyond the one telling you not to binge. There is a third voice that you are trying to ignore by binging. You are using food is a distraction, but from what? (Rhetorical question!) If you are serious about wanting help, you should find a therapist; someone to help you go through the process of pinpointing the reasons why you eat, so you can get past them and move on with your life. Its sort of awkward at first trying to find one, but here is a good link. http://www.therapists.psychologytoday.com/state/or/salem.html