Distracted

PeacefulBalance

I'm supposed to be working on homework, and the cupcakes for tomorrow's class (I'm a dietetics major and one of my classes is a cooking lab and we are having cupcake wars) but I cannot focus AT ALL. I must admit that I had been heavily restricting this last weekend and today I really tried to have more of my meal plan. I succeeded in having more than I've had in the last couple days but now my mind will not stop thinking about it.

My weight has been declining quite rapidly and I know that it should be going the opposite direction than it currently is, but I have this excitement in me knowing that it's getting lower. I know I need to fight that, but now I'm also afraid of gaining what I'm supposed to. I'm afraid that my whole body is going to change, that everyone is going to notice I'm gaining weight and I'll be looked down upon for some reason. I was able to push through all this fear last year and I'm frozen right now. Sorry, I needed to vent and just write down what's going on in my head since I'm so distracted. I'm disappointed in myself because I let myself slide backwards from recovery. I was positive I'd never relapse again.

leslisa

Relapse and recover is something most of us deal with. Sit down. Make a plan. And tell yourself you're beautiful. Because you are. Weight has nothing to do with beauty. Also realize those of use with eating disorders often have only on and off switches, not a variable switch.

You can do this!