Photo of shame...
ChocoboJaz
Posts: 37 Member
I threw a suprise birthday party for my dad on Sunday, i did have a naughty slice of cake but as i had ran around the supermarket and the house for 3-4 hours AND spent nearly 12 hours baking it and decorating i decided i deserved it (in also gluten intolerant not well after!)
I made sure i had salad and my own bread for the day, i did however have beer and tea but a day off right?
Anyway i invited my God Mother and it has been 4-5 years the first thing she said is WOW you lost weight... Which confused me as i was thinner when i last saw her, maybe it was facebook or whatever... Later she demanded a photo of me and 3 of my brothers and the outcome... I didn't realize how big i am... Im just round... I always presumed my chest was bigger than my gut... Im trying to take in to consideration that i swell up to 3 inches after wheat... But i just cant condone how i look... I feel so low and angry at myself.... And i don't feel like i have lost anything at all...
Here are the photos
I just give up...Nothing has changed at all about how i look!
I made sure i had salad and my own bread for the day, i did however have beer and tea but a day off right?
Anyway i invited my God Mother and it has been 4-5 years the first thing she said is WOW you lost weight... Which confused me as i was thinner when i last saw her, maybe it was facebook or whatever... Later she demanded a photo of me and 3 of my brothers and the outcome... I didn't realize how big i am... Im just round... I always presumed my chest was bigger than my gut... Im trying to take in to consideration that i swell up to 3 inches after wheat... But i just cant condone how i look... I feel so low and angry at myself.... And i don't feel like i have lost anything at all...
Here are the photos
I just give up...Nothing has changed at all about how i look!
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Replies
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I just read these things on your profile:
"On the 7th of March my Grandad died right in front on my eyes... its a difficult time for all but it has made me realize the excuses have to stop, i need to be the woman i can be and want to be, just like the man my grandad was and always will be."
and
"To love myself again and be a mother"
Sounds like you need a reminder of why you are doing this. You can let these negative emotions push you into giving up, or you can use them to push you forward toward your goals.0 -
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There are a lot of people who are not successful because they have a negative disposition. They look at themselves and pick out every unfavorable attribute and every imperfection. You need to get over that. What drives you to lose weight? What is your motivation? You need to look at yourself in the mirror and ask, "Why do I want this and what do I want to be?" You need to dig deep and find something that pushes you to the next level. What you are now is not what you have to be the rest of your life.0
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Don't give up! If those pictures make you feel bad, tuck them in an envelope and seal it. Put it away somewhere for safekeeping and forget about it. Stick with your diet and exercise. Monitor your progress both on the scale and my measuring yourself every few weeks. It will take time to see changes happening and probably even longer before friends and loved ones start to notice, but it will happen. Then down the road you can pull out that once shameful photo and display it as a reminder that you are never going back! You can do it and your MFP family is with you all the way!!!0
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You are beautiful! Stay motivated and in a short while you will feel differently. I can't see your photo links just your profile one. Great advice already given. You are aware of the wheat intolerance now and we know that family can often say or do something so damaging tho they may not have meant it. When I lost 4 stone I travelled miles to see family and they didn't even comment on my new shape!
Wish I could find some magic words to make you feel better.
Eat 'clean' for a while, look after you and when the wheat bloat has gone you will be back on track x0 -
I can see you now, slow connection speed.
Two thoughts:
change ticker to show how much you've lost, as it can appear overwhelming to see how much still to go.
turn the music up, Satriani is great but listen to some of your favourite music right now.0 -
Don't give up sweetie! Sometimes, photos like this give you motivation and remind you of why you are on this journey. I know its hard to see and especially as you have been working to change yourself. We all look in the mirror and see something different than everyone else or "the camera" sees. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw some pictures of myself....and that goes for my heaviest and when I was at my lowest weight after losing over 100 pounds. I couldn't see myself thinner in the mirror, not until I saw a picture.
Be kind to yourself, you deserve to be happy and have the body you want. And you can do it!!!
Just a side note about gluten- I am also sensitive to it and after a hard fight, I've given it up for almost a year now. I feel a million times better and don't really get sick ever anymore. If you know your reaction to it is bad, you should try cutting it out. I have tons and tons of gluten free recipes including cakes. I'd be happy to share some tricks with you. It was very hard at first, but when I realized how much better I felt, it was easier. Plus there are many gf options and I don't miss it anymore.
Just don't give up on yourself. You are a beautiful girl. I totally feel you becasue I've felt this way most of my life. I'm only now(almost 32) realizing that I am worthy of being happy, healthy and beautiful.
Send me a friend request if you want.
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Seeing pictures we don't like is the worst, I had a truly horrific one (in amongst a whole bunch of pretty bad ones) posted on Facebook a few years ago, motivated me for a bit, but after losing 2 stone I gained it all back and more, and I think that's the problem with being reactionary as it makes you do things you can't sustain. Try to pick out things you do like in the picture, and things you'd like to improve and just keep on going, you've made good progress so far. I also agree about changing your ticker to show what you've lost. If you want to add me, please feel free :-)0
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You are a beautiful girl..inside and out. A surprise party! How thoughtful! Also, I'd use these pictures as additional motivation to stay the course. I have. I still have an old picture from October up here that I just hate. It motivates me to keep moving (along with tons else in my life). Don't worry about the one slice of cake. We all need our indulgences from time to time.
Make sure you're tracking honestly and you do your best to get up and move. I've lost 24 lbs in about 12 months. It looks like I've barely scratched the surface, but I'm going to continue and hopefully be down another 24 this time next year.
Chin up! You got this!0 -
Use the photo as motivation. I didnt like the way my stomach looked so instead of avoiding it I work out across from a mirror in a sports bra so I have to see myself. It is a great motivator.0
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First, you HAVE had progress. You have lost weight. And just becuase you might not see it, you already mentioned that other people have! THAT'S AMAZING!!!!!!!!
Second, use this pictures as progress pictures for yourself. Like someone above me said, put them in an envelope, seal it, and keep it hidden away while you continue eating right and exercising! Then once you get halfway towards your goal, allow yourself to look at them. I can guarentee you will be nothing but pleased with how far you've come.
You just have to remember: YOU CAN DO THIS. 0 -
Just use them as a reminder of why you are doing this. The shame won't go away if you don't do anything about it... By this time next year you could be feeling awesome. Don't give up!0
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I just give up...Nothing has changed at all about how i look!
and if you give up nothing WILL change...0 -
First off..don't beat yourself up. You are a cute young woman and you're here so you're only going to improve your situation! Do not give up!!!
I totally know how frustrating it is though when you can't see your progress. I have been there. I worked at a job where they took photos of us ALL THE TIME and posted them on the company intraweb and every time I wanted to cry my eyes out because of the way I looked. Yet at the same time I looked fine in any photos friends/family took of me because they were chest & shoulders up, or face only pics.
One more thought - there are good and bad pics and angles. I was recently digging through some old photos from my college graduation when I was at one of my heaviest weights, and there were 4 pics of me...in 2 I looked like a weird middle aged man with no neck, and in the other 2 I looked quite nice. They were all four taken on the same day when I was in my early 20s!
Sure you might not be exactly where you want to be. But you will get there!! Just keep going...even if in a year from now you're 1 size smaller that is a huge victory :-)0 -
I wanted to quote this to make sure you saw it. These photos are now your prized possessions and can serve as motivation. A lot of people remember exactly when they saw "the photo" and immediately knew they had to make a change.Don't give up! If those pictures make you feel bad, tuck them in an envelope and seal it. Put it away somewhere for safekeeping and forget about it. Stick with your diet and exercise. Monitor your progress both on the scale and my measuring yourself every few weeks. It will take time to see changes happening and probably even longer before friends and loved ones start to notice, but it will happen. Then down the road you can pull out that once shameful photo and display it as a reminder that you are never going back! You can do it and your MFP family is with you all the way!!!0 -
Please don't give up! As each day passes you can be one step closer. I've been at it almost a year and at this point it does seem to have flown by...but in the beginning when I didn't see changes right away It was tough at times. Now I'm at goal and the time went by so fast....stick with it, in less than a year you can reach goal slowly and steady. Also, love your outfit and you are lovely
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Excellent reply!!!
Use these pictures as motivation!
You can do it! A lot of people on this site proved it's possible. It's not gonna be easy for sure, by focus on your goal and BE CONSISTANT & PATIENT.0 -
I can see you now, slow connection speed.
Two thoughts:
change ticker to show how much you've lost, as it can appear overwhelming to see how much still to go.
turn the music up, Satriani is great but listen to some of your favourite music right now.
Satriani sounds like heaven right now!
Thank you to everyone who has replied.. I guess i just didn't think i was like THAT you know after the 19lbs i have lost i don't see any difference, not even my clothes feel looser, mainly because i only wear dresses!
I guess if i had felt before something had changed i would not have taken it so badly, as i swear i have a neck and in them i feel like look like a Sontaran from Doctor Who! But with hair!
Thank you all for the overwhelming support, i have been in tears over it, in a good way
I am going to print them off, of Facebook and put them in an envelope to open when i loose 2 more stone and then compare - i should see a difference im sure!0 -
I can see you now, slow connection speed.
Two thoughts:
change ticker to show how much you've lost, as it can appear overwhelming to see how much still to go.
turn the music up, Satriani is great but listen to some of your favourite music right now.
Satriani sounds like heaven right now!
Thank you to everyone who has replied.. I guess i just didn't think i was like THAT you know after the 19lbs i have lost i don't see any difference, not even my clothes feel looser, mainly because i only wear dresses!
I guess if i had felt before something had changed i would not have taken it so badly, as i swear i have a neck and in them i feel like look like a Sontaran from Doctor Who! But with hair!
Thank you all for the overwhelming support, i have been in tears over it, in a good way
I am going to print them off, of Facebook and put them in an envelope to open when i loose 2 more stone and then compare - i should see a difference im sure!
That sounds like an awesome plan to me!!!
Sometimes the difference takes awhile to show up. Before joining MFP I lost about 45 lb and none of my friends noticed, not a single one!!! I told my best friend I'd lost 30 lb and she looked surprised or skeptical and didn't really say anything at all! But I started to see less of a double chin and belly roll in photos and that was amazing...when it comes, it's worth it completely...good luck, girl!0 -
You're so brave for sharing! I love the photos tho...I'm very camera shy! Keep going and stay strong girly! 0
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I understand. When you're putting in all the work, losing weight, feeling better, then get a pick that leaves the appearance little has changed. It's rough. I took pictures a few months ago at the 100 lb mark and felt, in the pic, it didn't look like I'd dropped anywhere near that much weight.
Let it motivate you. Keep going, don't stop. Know that eventually, if you don't give up, you WILL reach a point where no matter what picture you take, from what angle, your radical change will be undeniable.0 -
It is a journey and it seems to me that you have come across an obstacle - what determines whether you will be able to get to your destination is your attitude right now. You are going to get there, you are going to lose the weight and feel super about yourself but please on the way do not forget how beautiful you are, how strong you are and also how brave you are for sharing these pictures and pouring your heart out. Now take all these super positive things about you and the other 10380492 positive things we do not know and fight the negative feeling with it.
You are amazing- just remember that even to travel the world people have to take one step at a time!0 -
You know, I have seen pix of myself and thought "who is that old fat chick"? And it's me. How I felt I looked did not AT ALL match what a picture reflected. While it is a reality check in a really harsh light.....you get to choose to keep going for the very reasons and goals you set for yourself in your profile.
Don't let emotions define you....and don't fear make any decisions for you!0 -
Thinking a single slice of cake is "naughty" is your problem right there. There are no "bad" foods. Make it fit into your calorie goals and move on.0
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Thank you to everyone who has replied.. I guess i just didn't think i was like THAT you know after the 19lbs i have lost i don't see any difference, not even my clothes feel looser, mainly because i only wear dresses!
I had the same problem! I started buying jeans, in the smallest size I can squeeze into. Just one pair at a time. One month I can barely button them, the next I can wear them pretty comfortably, and the next month they are in the get rid of pile! Maybe you could try that? Even if you only wore the jeans for yard work.
I know it can be discouraging, but you HAVE lost weight. Keep working at it, and the results will come.0 -
I totally understand how you feel but just...Don't. Give. Up. You can do it. And, it looks like you threw a really nice party for your Dad. You don't want your Dad's party to symbolize the day you gave up on yourself. You are just getting started. Hang in there.0
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YOU are IMPORTANT!! YOU are BEAUTIFUL!!
YOU not only planned a surprise party for your dad but YOU got the ingredients together and YOU hand made a cake. That shows YOU have character and YOU value others.
Changing your body takes time, but YOU are worth it.
Don't give up on YOU!!
Write your goals down. YOU have VALUE!!
Start small and write everything down that YOU want to achieve. (Don't necessarily focus in a size or a number on the scale). Maybe it's i want to drink 8 glasses of water today or I want to walk outside for 10 mins. Make these goals measurable and attainable.)
Take it one day at a time.
YOU are WORTH IT!!0 -
Take before pictures, get on this journey and after a while take new pictures. COMPARE THEM and you'll be able to tell the difference. I lost 20lbs and still felt like I'm fat and nothing has changed, then one day I found some older pictures I had on my phone, put them next to my new picture, and I was surprised by how much I've changed.
Also if you give up now, 2 years from now you'll look back, 2 years have passed, you could've changed yourself, but instead you gave up and you still feel unhappy... Start today, and you'll be happy soon 0 -
That was a really sweet thing to do for your Dad, I bet he was thrilled. Don't feel bad about one slice of cake, it's only a slice of cake and i'm sure it was 100% delicious! Try not to feel discouraged, you've obviously done so well and you can always jump on to MFP and chat to us all and we'll encourage you to keep going and reach your goals! 0
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