Its a fun game we play or is it?

Anya06

Hi all

I am back on here after about a years break.I used to use myfitnesspal and believe that it had contributed to my initial weight loss as well as all of the exercise I was doing.The reason I left my fitnesspal was I reached my goal and was finding that I became obsessed with logging my food to a point where it started taking over my life, I would not socialise,eating anywhere apart from home became an issue and I was losing weight rather than maintaining. I felt I was on a road to an eating disorder to be honest. So in the first 6-8 months I maintained and did so very well by exercising and eating reasonably healthy but allowing myself to enjoy life. my group of friends grew and my social life is at its best but and this is a big BUT I have gained 6lb that I just cant shift whatever I do- diets/exercise/more diets its just stuck and wont shift. i have been for a full body evaluation with my Zumba instructor and even he feels baffled why am I not losing,although he said that he doesnt think I need to (another comment from people that annoys me). i desperately want to be at the weight I was before as I liked seeing it on scales and also I felt pretty and slim...now I just feel wobbly and big
I am 5ft9 and 66kg which is around 10.5 st
What I do wonder is how long I can play this game and allow scales define me and who I am and how to break away from that and enjoy myself now and be motivated to just carry on doing what I do. Wonder if there is anyone else out there who feels the same?or perhaps I am making little sense with this post.

leslisa

Makes sense to me. You don't want to define yourself by your weight.

I do a few things. I watch everything I eat but I'm also diabetic with high blood pressure and high cholesterol. I eat weekly cals and not daily. So if I only eat 1k cals for three days of the week, I know I'll have plenty for the day I'm going out or having a work deal or something. No, I don't eat away from home a lot. Mostly because the sodium in so many restaurant foods would cause my b/p to sky rocket. If I am going to eat away from home I usually know in advance what I'll order - especially if I've been at that restaurant before. I don't step on the scale but once a week. If I'm gaining or getting bigger my clothes will get tighter. That's when I start being much more careful. I exercise everyday but it's always something I want to do, not something I have to do.

Maybe sit down and think about what you really want. Do you want to be healthy or skinny? They aren't mutually exclusive but I think that one of them has to be more important in your life than the other.

You deserve to be happy! I hope you find a way to get there :flowerforyou:

Anya06

Thank you for your reply.Its nice to see someone understands the internal battle I have. My ultimate goals is to be toned I want my stomach to have a nice definition rather than just be slim.I read this post where a girl speaks of herself as being slim-fat such that in clothes she looks very slim but there is still fat around her muscles meaning she is lacking definition. when i was reading it its like she was describing me and what I feel when i look in mirror. so now I think i am not gonna simply concentrate on exercise and doing a lot of it but rather address the type of exercise. i want to start doing more resistance and weight training to get myself where I want to be...so now I got a goal I need a plan on how to achieve it x