Well, to be honest with... me?

HfxJMac

I have been using MyFitnessPal.com since early February of this year - in fact, today is my 96th consecutive day of tracking both food and exercise. By logging every day, and usually staying within my suggested caloric range, and by doing yoga and walking, I've managed to drop 28 pounds, in around 14 weeks - something that I previously thought impossible.

I’m one of those people who said to myself, literally thousands of times over the years, “I’ll start dieting on Monday.” But Monday would come and go and I’d never start the actual process of trying to lose weight. I never had a plan, but I was somehow certain that I would drop the extra weight! Does this craziness sound familiar? I was completely fooling myself - but I wasn't fooling anybody else. I was basically lying to myself for years! But since I started using MFP, I have now found that by being honest with myself, and by methodically tracking my eating and exercise, I am actually seeing results - far better results than I had even hoped for. But it got me thinking, how many of us live the same lie, telling ourselves over and over “I’m good, I can lose the weight, no problem.” And I ask this now because an acquaintance of mine is using a fee-based, diet program to do exactly what I’m doing on MFP (where we do it for free) - and they are not being honest with themselves by not accurately tracking what they are eating. They are living my old lie - and I wonder to what end? Yes, they log some of their food, but then they close-out their tracker for the day and continue to eat and drink, not logging the 1 litre of soda, or the large bag of chips, or the two slices of pizza, and somehow still think that “well, I've tracked what I ate for most of the day, so I can now reward myself with a few thousand calories.” They are now trapped in my old lie!!! And yet they won’t listen to my suggestion that they are maybe not being honest with themselves, and maybe they are sabotaging their own efforts by not tracking their entire food intake.

But the scale doesn't lie, right. And when they’re seeing that they have only dropped 1/10th of a pound over a two-week period, they throw a fit and seem astonished and say “How is this possible - I tracked everything?” And, of course, the scale is but one the many ways by which you mark progress when losing weight (not to mention simply feeling better, having clothes that actually fit, sleeping better, etc. - the list goes on and on). But it is frustrating to basically hear the old me, and to wonder if I was as frustrating to others when I said “Monday, I’ll start on Monday.”

Personally, I’m done lying to myself - I now know that the only way through this is to be completely honest in my tracking and to accurately note how much of any given food I've consumed, and how much I might have exercised on any given day. What is the sense in lying to me? If I go over my target, so be it – I’ll note it and MFP will track it, and I’ll be accountable to myself.

In this case, I really do think “honesty is the best policy.” What do you think?

GretaGirl8

congrats on your success. i agree, many of us lie to ourselves. right now, i am battling with getting the motivation to workout. i have even gone so far as to say i am donating to my local YMCA (because all i do is pay my monthly fee and no one in my family goes--including me). it's a lie to make me feel less guilty about 1.) spending the money and 2.) not going.

i don't think you can get people to see their own lies. on some level, they probably know they are diluding themselves (like me and my exercise lie). all you can do is lead by example and be supportive.

piratesluver

My excuse was "my body is built this way. It's comfortable at this weight."

Not true in either respects. It took me a while to figure out that I was just lazy.

StaciMarie1974

Good for you, and YES I can relate.

My first attempt (years ago) at weight loss was thru trying a low carb diet. Before that I was happy with myself (lie) even though I was overweight and had no medical issues. Which was sort of true, though my weight did limit what I could do in some sense and that kind of fits in with medical issues. Eventually I didn't want to buy plus sized clothes (I'm cheap and they're not!) I knew some others and trid Adkins it had worked for them so why not? I did see a little success (was also riding an exercise bike for 30 minutes most mornings) but then life got in the way. Well, a major accident/injury at least! Fast forward a few years and the next time I put effort into it, I'd figured out the secret formulas: 3500 calories = 1 pound and burn > consume = weight loss. It still took me quite a few attempts and on again/off again to get it all figured out but I'm feeling really good about my results and prospects of continued progress.

Sorry that you're having to see your friend struggle. But other than being an example, there is only so much you can do. If you think your friend is open to you discussing what has worked for you, do so. But I've generally found that telling someone else what to do doesn't work so well. Letting them know what you've done may have better results.

KylaDenay

I totally get where you are coming from on all levels. I always said that I would just start Monday, or if I just want to have another bad meal or treat, I'll start the next day. I have been so upset the past 5 to 6 months because I work out soooo much and sooo hard and did nothing but gain weight. I thought that I was making good choices and I was, but sneaking in things here and there did not help. Finally I saw the light and am weighing/measuring every bite that goes into my mouth. I have not lost weight yet (well I do not know since I don't weigh myself), but I am doing it right now.

I cannot stand when my friends or people around me constantly complain about their weight and not do anything about it. I give them tons of advice and send them to MFP. Later they complain again, but never took my advice. Annoying.

Big big big congratulations to you and your success! Keep it going and do not let anything or anyone get in the way of it. Awesome job!

HfxJMac

Thanks! And (insert BIG LOL here) I'm STILL donating to my office gym!!! I pay the monthly fee, but I never use it. I've finally found an exercise that I really enjoy (Moksha Yoga - the "hot" yoga, where the room is heated), but I have not yet cancelled my GYM membership! But now that you've reminded me, I'll do that today!

Have a good one.

Nuka_Gina

I can't tell you how many ways that I put off dieting. From the "I'll start as soon as I go grocery shopping" or "I'll start on the 1st of the Month" blah blah. I'm the absolute worst about it. I guess that's why when I read your blog post I really identified with it. I need to start being more honest with myself for sure. Thanks of posting!

Kgerber777

I tend to look at over eating to be very similar to alcoholism. Alcoholics lie all the time "I don't have a problem", "I can stop whenever I want", "this will be the last time I ever drink and then I am done". The truth is the alcoholic will not stop drinking until they want to, no matter how much friends and family will want them to stop. The same is true with over eaters. I told myself a thousand times "I'll binge tonight and start working out tomorrow", but tomorrow never came. I had to start eating better for myself, because I knew it was what I needed and what I wanted for myself. If I were doing this for someone else I probably would cheat and eat a big piece of cake.

My husband has been telling me for years that my weight has been going up and I should do something about it. Well today I am on day 16, and last night he tried to force pizza on me when I just did not have the calories for it. I told him "No I'm fine" and took a drink of water. The smell of the pizza filling the house was enough to drive any dieter crazy. But I stuck to MY guns because I want this for me!

lynnpertle

bump

shancheer24

I lost 15 + pounds since Oct 2013. In February, life got the best of me and the weight slowly started creeping back up. I gained 5lbs back since February. I just recently this week decided i needed to be more strict. I know how i cant eat, and i thought i was doing ok but apparently unless i eat a lower cal diet, the weight will not stay off, even with regular exercise. For me its a really sucky realization that i either have to stay on a pretty low calorie diet forever or risk not being the weight i want to be.

Im struggling with being happy and being thin as well as the opposite, unhappy when im gaining weight back but eating whatever i want . Im happy when i'm thin, but i'm unhappy that i feel like i have to monitor every single thing i eat. It's really not a fun way to live. i don't know where to find the balance.

Aaron_K123

My excuse was "my body is built this way. It's comfortable at this weight."

Not true in either respects. It took me a while to figure out that I was just lazy.

That one sounds familiar. As a 6' tall guy when I was younger and 190 pounds I figured 190 pounds was a good weight for a 6' tall guy and I ignored the fact that I was actually rather fat. When I finally did manage to get myself into good shape years and years later I was rather shocked to find out that a "fit" weight for me with my current lean mass was about 155 pounds due in part to being very small framed.

Just goes to show that looking around at fit people who are your height and what they weigh is no indication of how fit you are. Easy to use that as an excuse though.

KMasz

I used to do the same exact thing! (sometimes when I kind of fall off the wagon I will still do this, it's a hard habit to break) I would also tell myself, "Well I still have all of these _____ [insert various treat: brownies, cookies, ice cream, candy], I would hate for them to go to waste. I will start as soon as they're done...." Then I'd buy a new pint/package once it was done and tell myself the same thing. haha i'm a terrible liar.

melimomTARDIS

I tend to look at over eating to be very similar to alcoholism. Alcoholics lie all the time "I don't have a problem", "I can stop whenever I want", "this will be the last time I ever drink and then I am done". The truth is the alcoholic will not stop drinking until they want to, no matter how much friends and family will want them to stop. The same is true with over eaters. I told myself a thousand times "I'll binge tonight and start working out tomorrow", but tomorrow never came. I had to start eating better for myself, because I knew it was what I needed and what I wanted for myself. If I were doing this for someone else I probably would cheat and eat a big piece of cake.

This is very true, or at least it's true for me. I over ate, and made excuses for eating large portions and lots of snacks.

SezxyStef

absolutely.

If you want to lose weight you do. There are too many easy ways to do it now that are free.

There is too much knowledge to do it in an unhealthy manner

basically there are no excuses anymore...

I said this the other day...

If you want to know the cause of any failure in your life you have to look at what they all have in common...and that requires a mirror.

Once you get that...no more excuses.

Lizzy622

I haven't lost weight in 3 months!! Why is this happening? I know exactly why. I have not been working out as much as I should and I can look back at my log and see it right there. If you take a break it is fine but don't think you will keep on losing. Yes honesty especially to yourself can be a hard pill to swallow.