Mom to mom

mommy1364

I only started my journey last month but I'm already having trouble. The reason isn't because im lazy or im just not trying hard enough to lose the weight, it's because I'm exhausted and stressed out. Sometimes I feel like I'm doing all the work around the house and taking care of my baby (2 months.) I have a husband, but to tell the truth he doesn't help very much with the baby or house chores which is why I feel like im doing everything. Yes, I've told him how I'm feeling and what I need him to do to help me before. I have a full time job, I go home, work out, get her things ready for the next day, bath time and put her to bed. When I finally get time for myself its used to maybe eat something and take a shower before bed. What I'm looking for I guess is support and understanding. How do I keep myself motivated to work out because I've already had the "what does it matter? I'll do it tomorrow because I'm too tired and too busy" thoughts. Any suggestions will be appreciated.

adopp062715

I'm not a mom so I don't understand how completely busy you are but would it be possible for you to work out on your lunch break? That way you are getting your workout in during the day and can relax a little at night after everything is done. I know some people don't like to work out at lunch because of what they are doing or if they work with a lot of people but if it's possible that would be my suggestion.

Jillyfish99

Take a deep breath!! I've been there, I have a 3.5 year old and a 20 month old.
This may sound cliche but it takes time and is not going to happen over night. You are putting way to much pressure on yourself to be perfect, take care of everyone including yourself and its super hard to do when babies are so unpredictable. I work full time as well as go to school, luckily school is online.

I have struggled with keeping motivated until recently and my youngest is now 20 months. i have recently started scheduling myself workouts. I walk on my 10 minute breaks. yes its only 10 minutes but it is better than nothing. Sometimes i will walk during my lunch break or go to the gym. I'm lucky that my sitter watches the kids until 530 so if I have time I will go to the gym after work.

i got rid of the bad snacks at my desk, it was too easy to eat the candy. I try and make sure I bring veggies that I enjoy eating with me to fill me up.

its really about a mind set, and it is hard to have that mindset when you are waking up every couple hours with a 2 month old. Take a deep breath and in time things will fall into place. Enjoy your baby they really do grow up fast!

knitapeace

I echo this sentiment: cut yourself a break. Exercise is only the "fitness" part of the health equation; you can still lose weight with a calorie deficit although you may reach a point where you aren't happy with body composition and exercise will help with that. Mine are 12 and 15 now (although the 15-year-old is starting to behave like a bratty toddler all over again) and I finally have time to do more things for myself these days.

ceemaw

i can totally relate. my babies are now 2 and 4 and it's just been in the last few months i've started "figuring it out" and making time to care for myself. i understand the pressure to do all the things - working full-time and parenting full-time and running a household full-time is insanely exhausting and i hope you give yourself a pat on the back every day for all the amazing things you do! it's unfortunate that you're not feeling fully supported in your roles at home; i really hope that changes for you.

i've found some really good, quick workouts (and no equipment necessary!) on neilarey.com. right now i'm in the midst of this 30 day program: http://neilarey.com/programs/30-days-of-change.html. i make myself do this whenever i have time during the day, and i've also started going to the gym before i start work in the morning (which is easier for me than for some since i work at home). not sure if any of this will be useful to you, but please know you're not alone - so many of us have been in the same position. also remember that you are doing an amazing job if your baby is being fed, cleaned, and allowed to rest - give yourself permission to slack on the non-essential stuff, and let yourself be nice to yourself, because you are rockin' this!

arf24_1

Mom of 2 here. Almost 5 years and 20 months. Your baby is still so young, it takes time to get into a new groove. Can you take baby for walks to get some exercise and family time?

Now that my kids are sleeping through the night, I get up at 5am to workout before work (I work full time, as does my husband). You have to make time for yourself, but it is HARD when baby is so young.

Jaxsonjess

I agree with Arf24_1 My babies are 5 and 2, and I am just starting to find time for myself. It takes a long time to be able to find mom time when they are that young. I did it all too being my hubby and I were seperate shifts. Took a bit to come back to me time. But now I am there and loving it. Just do little things, like someone else said, concentrate on one thing at a time. Maybe eating better is the first step and then bring in little routines of excercise

Imcreatingmyself

I hear you! I work full time and have four kids...12, 11, 4 and 16 months. Right before the baby was born I had this "I don't think I can do this again" moment of panic. All I can say is that it gets better. It really does. There were many many days when the only thing I could do for exercise was a big "living room dance party" with the kids. Don't expect perfection from yourself. Do what you can. Your baby is still very little. It takes a while to settle into a routine.

ColdPlum

Oh, Sweetie, have I been there! Remember that you are creating a new lifestyle for yourself, and sorting that out takes time. I have two kids, a part time job, and am also the co founder of a non-profit. My marriage is great, my kids are awesome, happy, and well-cared for, I run, do pilates, and karate. However, my house is a constant mess. And guess what? Its okay! You really can't do everything, and something has to give. I decided that it wouldn't be me (a health crisis helped me prioritize!) or my family. Over the years (my kids are now 9 and 7) I've slowly gotten better and better at fitting more and more in, and my husband is learning what he needs to do and how to help. Again, its a slow process, but I and my family are better for it. Best of luck to you, and please feel free to PM me for venting, questions, ideas, etc.

skippygirlsmom

I don't want to sound mean, but your problem isn't finding time for yourself it's your husband. If you both work, he should be helping out around the house or with the baby. Getting up at the crack of dawn or staying up later to work out isn't going to solve the problem, you'll be even more exhausted.

annadchang

Congrats on the new baby. Enjoy it now. They do grow very fast. My husband did the same thing when our son was born. We both work full time and the only day we all are together is Sunday and Monday when I get off work. As soon as I would get home, my husband would just let me feed him and bathe him and put him to bed. Eventually I got fed up with it. I told him that on the days that he was off, that is his bonding time with our son. And that I didn't want our son to not have a great relationship with him. It was like a light switch went on. All except for the house cleaning part! lol... But getting better. Please don't stress yourself out about losing baby weight so fast. It will come back just as fast. Change your eating habits to healthier ones. Take the little one on walks with you. I also try to go to the gym in the morning. I am just to tired after work and that is my times with my lil man. I hope this helps a little.

Anna

paulawatkins1974

Been there. ALOT of times LOL . I had 3 kids 2 years apart, so just as I was ready to start taking care of ME, I was preggo again. And again. I found thinking about nutrition at that time so tough. It was just easier to eat whatever the kids had (They hated veggies) But here's the best part. When my kids were 16, 18, and 20, I had another baby. Crazy I know. And when I found out I was preg I just about died. I wouldn't trade him for anything though. He's almost 4 now, and it's taken me this long this time to even bother thinking about myself. Must be because I'm older now I dunno. So my advice to you right now is just do the best you can. TRY to get enough rest, and if the house is a bit messy in the meantime, oh well.

beamer0821

i understand! literally, i understand. i work full time and have three kids 4 years old and under.
take a deep breath.
and then take another one.

you are in a vicious cycle. you're having trouble taking care of yourself b/c you are overwhelmed and anxious about being overwhelmed and anxious. you are me. you need to break this down and do one thing at a time. and you.will.be.ok and go easier on yourself. it sounds so simple and i know when you are overwhelmed this sounds like throw away advise but literally go easier.

you need to ask for help. how have you asked for help? maybe you think you've asked your husband for help but how have you said it? have said to him "husband, I'm struggling, I'm having a hard time taking care of myself which makes it hard for me to care for our marriage and baby" have you said anything close to that? and then this is where you can ask for specifics like bath the baby, go grocery shopping, putting the baby sleep sharing the schedule, etc.

the food plan will come if you can reduce you're anxiety. good luck

bethlaf

i actully agree with every single poster- hubby needs to step up, and you need to step back, here hubby, take her, she needs a bath and changing, i have to have 15 minutes me time.. and walk out the door,

this attitude that moms have that husbands and baby daddies have to be asked/told to help is BS , hand him his child and step out, and dont give him hell if he does something different, im a mom of 7 with 2 sets of twins, please trust me . BDDT

1donner1

I feel for you. I am mom to four that are almost all teenagers now. It's been a while since those frustrating baby days of sleep deprivation and no one to help. I am sorry you are having a tough time of it. You have come to the right place for motivation and support. I don't have enough time to read everyone else's posts (wish I could, but got kiddos to pick up). If any one said structure and organization with your diet and exercise, I agree with them. Logging your food and exercise will help you more than you would ever believe.

There are tons of people on mfp that know exactly where you are at and will always have someone to help get you through rough spots in motherhood and your weight loss journey. Don't hesitate to reach out for help. Sorry if I'm rambling, but got to go. If you need friends, please add me if you'd like.

It will get easier, just takes time.

disneygallagirl

Ever heard the expression "you can have it all, but just not all at once"
Your baby is only 2 months old and you are working - wow. I have 2 boys, work full time and still find it hard to find time for me.
Like others have said, cut yourself some slack.....at this point, your body is still recovering, you likely aren't getting solid sleep either. I would focus on healthy eating and fit in a walk with baby in the stoller or some activity just for you. Things will settle. Also, be specific with your hubby on what he can do to help....don't just say you need help. Give him a couple items that he could do that would help.
Best of luck and remember to enjoy this time with your baby. :flowerforyou:

MostlyWater

That sounds very hard. I waited until my kids were older before I went back to exercising.