A different life?

NS81

Do you ever wonder how life would be different, or you would be different had you grown up a healthy "normal" weight?

Don't get me wrong, I regret practically nothing about my life, and am happy with the person I am on the inside (most days! lol) I just find myself wondering if I would have been a different person, had I been thin in my more "formative" years, so to speak...

ew_david

I try not to dwell on things from the past that I can't change.

reddz12

All the time, I figure that I wouldn't have been made to feel like a failure at softball my senior year of hs because of my weight ( I was darn good too but my coach told me "you're a little big to be on MY team" he was a little ex-marine muscle head) While I was built like a typically college softball player. I think I would have continued to play in college (gotten even better) Probably wouldn't have the loans that I do and perhaps wouldn't have gained the weight that I did due to being on the team. It's crazy to think of how a few seemingly small things could change how now turned out.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to live my glory days or talk myself up. As of last year I joined an adult league and fell in love with the game again (I wish I never stopped) However, to think of how staying active could have changed my entire life is bittersweet.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

NS81

I try not to dwell on things from the past that I can't change.

I agree, and it's certainly not something I get too hung up on... but I do wonder once in a while... especially since having children of my own etc

970Mikaela1

I try not to dwell on things from the past that I can't change.

I'm with her on this. even if things could be changed I still wouldn't want to. I have a beautiful life, wife, and daughter. all my bad decisions have culminated in what and who I am now.

Squamation

I was a normal weight growing up- still got picked on, had bullies that wouldn't leave me a lone, a few friends but not more than 3 or 4, read a lot of books, spent a lot of time by myself.

Not that I'm complaining. I'm an introverted person and I'm OK with that. Our house always had food, heat, and my family wasn't any more messed up than normal.

NS81

All the time, I figure that I wouldn't have been made to feel like a failure at softball my senior year of hs because of my weight ( I was darn good too but my coach told me "you're a little big to be on MY team" he was a little ex-marine muscle head) While I was built like a typically college softball player. I think I would have continued to play in college (gotten even better) Probably wouldn't have the loans that I do and perhaps wouldn't have gained the weight that I did due to being on the team. It's crazy to think of how a few seemingly small things could change how now turned out.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to live my glory days or talk myself up. As of last year I joined an adult league and fell in love with the game again (I wish I never stopped) However, to think of how staying active could have changed my entire life is bittersweet.

I'm sorry that happened... and so glad you're back playing! That's awesome!

NS81

Do you ever wonder how life would be different, or you would be different had you grown up a healthy "normal" weight?

Don't get me wrong, I regret practically nothing about my life, and am happy with the person I am on the inside (most days! lol) I just find myself wondering if I would have been a different person, had I been thin in my more "formative" years, so to speak...

I never do, but thinking about it now...

Had I always been fit I might not be as humble, might not have worked as hard at developing a personality to compensate for my appearance, might not be as understanding towards people with weight problems...

So I'm ok with who I am. Even who I was. Without any of it I wouldn't be me.

This is basically my exact thought... working on matching the outside with the inside now, but happy to feel morally good with myself at the end of the day, and I do think having to work harder by on my personality growing up is a huge part of that!

sheenarama

I grew up a normal weight. But I'm far from "normal." We all deal with other challenges that make us who we are today!

NS81

I was a normal weight growing up- still got picked on, had bullies that wouldn't leave me a lone, a few friends but not more than 3 or 4, read a lot of books, spent a lot of time by myself.

Not that I'm complaining. I'm an introverted person and I'm OK with that. Our house always had food, heat, and my family wasn't any more messed up than normal.

Bullying is awful. I was never really picked on too much, and hated seeing it happen - wish I stood up for people more often than I did, but I liked staying out of the spotlight... trying to teach my kiddos to be the person that stands up... it's a hard thing to do.

A simple life can be the best!

paulawatkins1974

Do you ever wonder how life would be different, or you would be different had you grown up a healthy "normal" weight?

Don't get me wrong, I regret practically nothing about my life, and am happy with the person I am on the inside (most days! lol) I just find myself wondering if I would have been a different person, had I been thin in my more "formative" years, so to speak...

I never do, but thinking about it now...

Had I always been fit I might not be as humble, might not have worked as hard at developing a personality to compensate for my appearance, might not be as understanding towards people with weight problems...

So I'm ok with who I am. Even who I was. Without any of it I wouldn't be me.

I like this!

NS81

I grew up a normal weight. But I'm far from "normal." We all deal with other challenges that make us who we are today!

Absolutely!

greeneyes0809

Of course it made me who I am today and I wouldn't want to change that.

On the other hand, it sure as heck would've made dealing with the self esteem and confidence issues, being dealt with now, a lot easier.

blukitten

I try not to dwell on things from the past that I can't change.

I agree, and it's certainly not something I get too hung up on... but I do wonder once in a while... especially since having children of my own etc

I dont necessarily for myself but do for my own children. I dont want them to experience any of the things I did because I was overweight. I know it made me more humble, and I love my personalilty and myself with all of my experiences, but that doesnt mean I want my children to experience the same things I did. Some of them I could have done without and dont want for my children no matter what the benefits were to my personality today

pawoodhull

I wasn't too far off normal as a kid. A little pudgy, but not overweight. I wasn't very athletic and didn't really fit into any of the various groups in high school but I didn't start gaining weight until my 20's. What I regret is raising my kids with a fat Mom and teaching two of my four kids how to be fat. I'm in my 50's now and down 160 pounds (just 66 to go to goal), but my youngest daughter and eldest son have copied my eating and exercise habits and both struggle with their weight and self esteem issues.

Would my life be different if I had stayed a normal weight in my early adult years? Probably not, Since I met and married my husband before I got fat, I still would have married, had 4 kids, been a stay at home mom, gone to collegae in my 30's after the youngest hit first grade, got my degree, etc. Maybe I wouldn't have the job I have now, but that's probably it. Other than the weight, I've been happily married for almost 40 years and overall am happy with my life.

But since the weight loss, I've been told by several people from family to co-workers that my personality has changed. I'm happier, more self confident, more approachable, much easier to be around. I do notice that as I get smaller people I don't know will talk to me in the elevator, say "Hi" on the street, etc. It seems the smaller I get the more visable I become. So maybe I would have been a little bit different. Hard to say. Because even after losing 160 pounds and becoming more visable in general, I'm still me, you know?

FraggleRockerFitnessLover

As I grew up, I remember the importance of the scale. I remember my best friend and I getting on the scale daily when we were in the 1st grade. I always weighed less than her, only because I was shorter I was never overweight growing up, but as I got older I felt I was always the big kid of the class. I remember graduating in highschool and thinking how overweight I looked, when really, I was 37 pounds lighter than I am now. I think we all have our what if's in life, but what's important is acknowledging what and were we are today. I have been on a healthier lifestyle change attempt for 2 years now and have had my up's and down's, but overall, I am happy with my results. I wish however, I wasn't such as extreme person with extremely high expectations. But, maybe that's not a bad thing, it helps motivate me.

MizTerry

I grew up a normal weight, I just picked up an affinity for pizza and beer...and Doritos...and Combos...etc. in my 20's. It was all downhill from there. :laugh:

NS81

I try not to dwell on things from the past that I can't change.

I agree, and it's certainly not something I get too hung up on... but I do wonder once in a while... especially since having children of my own etc

I dont necessarily for myself but do for my own children. I dont want them to experience any of the things I did because I was overweight. I know it made me more humble, and I love my personalilty and myself with all of my experiences, but that doesnt mean I want my children to experience the same things I did. Some of them I could have done without and dont want for my children no matter what the benefits were to my personality today

Parenting is such a balancing act - Making sure my children are growing up to be good people, but also not setting them up to be picked on because of being "too different" ...

seltzermint555

I really don't think my life would be *that* different. I love my life, and I've always had pretty healthy self esteem despite my weight. I always had plenty of friends and dates and so forth. I truly don't believe I would have been some crazy, smashing success in all areas if only I'd been say, a size 8 instead of a 20+ for most of my younger years.

I suppose I might have had a little more confidence in the workplace, particularly in my early 20's. I think at times I was coddled by employers who saw me as "such a sweet yet very fat young girl" instead of a woman with leadership skills and a mind for numbers. I forged that path despite those attitudes, but maybe it would have been easier...OTOH, I might have had problems with sexual harassment or unwanted attention instead. Who knows.

Love life though -- I'm pretty sure I would have dated different guys, cheesier and much more conservative guys. For me that would not be a good thing.

NS81

I wasn't too far off normal as a kid. A little pudgy, but not overweight. I wasn't very athletic and didn't really fit into any of the various groups in high school but I didn't start gaining weight until my 20's. What I regret is raising my kids with a fat Mom and teaching two of my four kids how to be fat. I'm in my 50's now and down 160 pounds (just 66 to go to goal), but my youngest daughter and eldest son have copied my eating and exercise habits and both struggle with their weight and self esteem issues.

Would my life be different if I had stayed a normal weight in my early adult years? Probably not, Since I met and married my husband before I got fat, I still would have married, had 4 kids, been a stay at home mom, gone to collegae in my 30's after the youngest hit first grade, got my degree, etc. Maybe I wouldn't have the job I have now, but that's probably it. Other than the weight, I've been happily married for almost 40 years and overall am happy with my life.

But since the weight loss, I've been told by several people from family to co-workers that my personality has changed. I'm happier, more self confident, more approachable, much easier to be around. I do notice that as I get smaller people I don't know will talk to me in the elevator, say "Hi" on the street, etc. It seems the smaller I get the more visable I become. So maybe I would have been a little bit different. Hard to say. Because even after losing 160 pounds and becoming more visable in general, I'm still me, you know?

First of all, congratulations on that incredible weight loss! Amazing!

Sometimes I feel like I'm too conscious of making sure I teach my kids a "healthy lifestyle" even though at the moment, it's difficult to participate in (a HUGE source of motivation for me in this) but I know they see me, overweight etc, and I don't want them to think this is "normal"

I hope your children are able to see how far you've come, struggles and all, and find the motivation to get healthy as well!

NS81

As I grew up, I remember the importance of the scale. I remember my best friend and I getting on the scale daily when we were in the 1st grade. I always weighed less than her, only because I was shorter I was never overweight growing up, but as I got older I felt I was always the big kid of the class. I remember graduating in highschool and thinking how overweight I looked, when really, I was 37 pounds lighter than I am now. I think we all have our what if's in life, but what's important is acknowledging what and were we are today. I have been on a healthier lifestyle change attempt for 2 years now and have had my up's and down's, but overall, I am happy with my results. I wish however, I wasn't such as extreme person with extremely high expectations. But, maybe that's not a bad thing, it helps motivate me.

I bet a lot of people wish they were the size they were when they first thought they were "fat" lol I working on the "extreme motivation" I've recently found a bunch of it! Good luck!

NS81

I really don't think my life would be *that* different. I love my life, and I've always had pretty healthy self esteem despite my weight. I always had plenty of friends and dates and so forth. I truly don't believe I would have been some crazy, smashing success in all areas if only I'd been say, a size 8 instead of a 20+ for most of my younger years.

I suppose I might have had a little more confidence in the workplace, particularly in my early 20's. I think at times I was coddled by employers who saw me as "such a sweet yet very fat young girl" instead of a woman with leadership skills and a mind for numbers. I forged that path despite those attitudes, but maybe it would have been easier...OTOH, I might have had problems with sexual harassment or unwanted attention instead. Who knows.

Love life though -- I'm pretty sure I would have dated different guys, cheesier and much more conservative guys. For me that would not be a good thing.

Work is a big one for me... I feel like I've gotten the "cute" label too often, and it has made it difficult at times, to be taken seriously as someone that can be a leader. .

tmm_0127

No, but I do often wonder what life would be like with a normal life (sans chronic severe depression).

seltzermint555

I really don't think my life would be *that* different. I love my life, and I've always had pretty healthy self esteem despite my weight. I always had plenty of friends and dates and so forth. I truly don't believe I would have been some crazy, smashing success in all areas if only I'd been say, a size 8 instead of a 20+ for most of my younger years.

I suppose I might have had a little more confidence in the workplace, particularly in my early 20's. I think at times I was coddled by employers who saw me as "such a sweet yet very fat young girl" instead of a woman with leadership skills and a mind for numbers. I forged that path despite those attitudes, but maybe it would have been easier...OTOH, I might have had problems with sexual harassment or unwanted attention instead. Who knows.

Love life though -- I'm pretty sure I would have dated different guys, cheesier and much more conservative guys. For me that would not be a good thing.

Work is a big one for me... I feel like I've gotten the "cute" label too often, and it has made it difficult at times, to be taken seriously as someone that can be a leader. .

I definitely understand that. I think as women this can be difficult to begin with and is sometimes compounded by weight and appearance and so on. I come across as a very sweet and cheerful person but I'm also dead serious when it comes to work-related matters. I don't bend rules and I stand up for myself. This is perceived as a contradiction and throws people for a loop quite often ;-)

NS81

I really don't think my life would be *that* different. I love my life, and I've always had pretty healthy self esteem despite my weight. I always had plenty of friends and dates and so forth. I truly don't believe I would have been some crazy, smashing success in all areas if only I'd been say, a size 8 instead of a 20+ for most of my younger years.

I suppose I might have had a little more confidence in the workplace, particularly in my early 20's. I think at times I was coddled by employers who saw me as "such a sweet yet very fat young girl" instead of a woman with leadership skills and a mind for numbers. I forged that path despite those attitudes, but maybe it would have been easier...OTOH, I might have had problems with sexual harassment or unwanted attention instead. Who knows.

Love life though -- I'm pretty sure I would have dated different guys, cheesier and much more conservative guys. For me that would not be a good thing.

Work is a big one for me... I feel like I've gotten the "cute" label too often, and it has made it difficult at times, to be taken seriously as someone that can be a leader. .

I definitely understand that. I think as women this can be difficult to begin with and is sometimes compounded by weight and appearance and so on. I come across as a very sweet and cheerful person but I'm also dead serious when it comes to work-related matters. I don't bend rules and I stand up for myself. This is perceived as a contradiction and throws people for a loop quite often ;-)

I'm working hard (at various aspects of life, actually!) at becoming more of a stand-out for promotions etc - I've realized that I need to stop being self conscious, and be more confident in my abilities... It's frustrating to have nothing but positive feedback, and know I am doing a vast majority of the work, from the sidelines. If you want it bad enough, you find a way, right?

HerkMeOff

A lot changed when Iet myself go and put on almost 200lbs

I lost a lot in my life.

I regret it every day, but I can't change it, and it has made me a better person.

Sinisterly

Nope.
I look to the future, though. Why worry about things that never happened. Got things that I want to happen to worry about instead.

NS81

No, but I do often wonder what life would be like with a normal life (sans chronic severe depression).

I imagine you do, and I hope you get a chance to experience that... My husband suffers from depression, and it has it's days that it's better than others... It's tough all around. Best wishes to you :flowerforyou:

NS81

A lot changed when Iet myself go and put on almost 200lbs

I lost a lot in my life.

I regret it every day, but I can't change it, and it has made me a better person.

I try not to regret much of anything.. I'm one of the "everything led me here" people... not to say I don't wonder what could have been, but I wouldn't really change my past too much... I hope you're able to get back the important things

NS81

Nope.
I look to the future, though. Why worry about things that never happened. Got things that I want to happen to worry about instead.

Great outlook