Frustrated about people getting up in my business

amblight

So, I've never liked people commenting on my weigtloss in general - I'm an extremely private person, and it feels a bit invasive to me, to have people make uninvited comments on my body, something I can't really hide.

I sometimes talk weightloss with my mom, but I also told her how I felt about people bringing up the subject with me, and she seemed to understand, though hesitated when I said that I would appriciate that she didn't discuss my weight with other in the family either (since I know they can't keep themselves from commenting, and idk, are kind of gossip-y etc).

And whaddya know, I get to a family event, and it feels like I have to hide from all the comments. Apparently my grandmothers version of what ever my mom has told her about my weight, has turned into everyone insisting that I'm doing paleo??? I'm not doing paleo, though I am focusing on protein, so sure, I get another slice of meat and beans rather than pasta and bread. But I'm not doing paleo, and please, please, please don't say "Oh, having pancakes? So is today an exception?" when I help myself to desert!!

My grandmother, also came over to me and ranted and ranted about how sorry and terrible she felt for me when she could see on facebook that my roommate had baked something. She asked what I did if I had cake - I said "I chew", she asked what I did after, I said "I might have some coffee" - I'm not sure what she was expecting me to say? And she kind of looked really 'sad', like she felt that I was failing.

Later, on the way home, I was talking to my brother about him helping me find a good price for an ice cream maker, and my grandmother cuts in and says "Oh no!! Nooo! I'm so worried about all that stuff! It makes me so sad to hear about that, and the cakes, and the pancakes... You can't have that!" and I said "I can have what I want" and my mom cuts in to say "But she's going to make low calorie ice cream!" and I said "I can make what ever I want in it!" (because by now I was pretty tired of them both!) and my grandmother says "Not if you wan't to be skinny!" and I said "Well, what I want is my business!"

Ugggghhhhhh, it's just so... !!! First of all, I'm managing pretty well on my own, thank you very much, I don't see my grandmother very often, so *shockingly* I don't need her concerned/judgemental eyes to lose weight. And secondly, so what?! Will I be a dissapointment if I stop losing or what? If I show up at next family event, heavier than at the last, what comments will I recieve then?

Ok, venting over!

__freckles__

I was once like you. I would get all tiffed when somebody commented on my weightloss/bulking. But that gets old and you learn to ignore their comments and just do you.

scarrletti_girl

wow it seems like other people don't know how to be happy for others. I am sorry girl. i hear a lot of stories like this and it's like jeesh. Just gotta keep doing you and try to ignore the others who don't understand.

AddieOverhaul

I'm fine talking about it with friends and family (I tend to be a fairly open person in general) but I did get weirded out by coworkers commenting on my body. I guess I didn't think people noticed other people's bodies as much as they apparently do. And it creepeed me out that they were noticing my body enough to comment on it's changes.

When people talk to me about what I should and shouldn't eat I just don't really engage in the conversation. I let it go in one ear and out the other. Once I did say to my brother though "Look, I've managed to lose 40 pounds and keep it off for a long time, which you have never managed to do, so I will continue to do what is WORKING for MY BODY thank you very much." He's never told me what to eat since!

ethompso0105

::hug::

My grandma's the same way--she's very verbal about my weight losses *and* gains. I'm so sorry that you're dealing with this. "Dieting" (aka making good/different food choices) is so much different now than it was back in their day. Good for you for speaking your mind and letting it roll of your back as best as you can!

Best of luck!

amblight

I was once like you. I would get all tiffed when somebody commented on my weightloss/bulking. But that gets old and you learn to ignore their comments and just do you.

I try to kind of slip off their comments (vague answers like 'well, maybe a bit of weight....', and 'oh you know, just the usuals' etc.) when people ask, which luckily a lot of people get that it's not something I want to go into deep conversation about. But there are those people who think it's their job to have me stick to my diet (which is apparently paleo now) :grumble:

manderson27

I find that droning on endlessly about my weight loss, lifting, macros, protein shakes, calories, MFP, nutrients, and so forth and so on ad infinitum. Usually makes sure that no one around me raises the subject voluntary.

__freckles__

I was once like you. I would get all tiffed when somebody commented on my weightloss/bulking. But that gets old and you learn to ignore their comments and just do you.

I try to kind of slip off their comments (vague answers like 'well, maybe a bit of weight....', and 'oh you know, just the usuals' etc.) when people ask, which luckily a lot of people get that it's not something I want to go into deep conversation about. But there are those people who think it's their job to have me stick to my diet (which is apparently paleo now) :grumble:

Well you have 2 options. Have it out with them or ignore them. I've also found that after a while people just stop commenting. But your grandma sounds like she won't give up so easily so perhaps have a talk with her.

lizziebeth1028

I was once like you. I would get all tiffed when somebody commented on my weightloss/bulking. But that gets old and you learn to ignore their comments and just do you.

^^^ Hehe yep exactly!! I could give two sh*ts about what people think about my personal eating habits. And you know....once people start to realize that you don't desire their opinion....they stop commenting. Don't even let yourself be played into those conversations. It's your own personal business. Ignore Ignore Ignore!!!