First time gym disaster

yukimenoko

Hello everyone,
I'm new here and I hope I'm doing this right!

Yesterday was my first time ever in a gym, I'm 22 years old and I've been struggling against depression and anxiety since I was 16. Almost five years ago my depression got worse, meaning I couldn't even get out of my house for the past 4 years, I just spent my days either lying in bed or sat behind my desk surfing the internet. One or two weeks ago I decided I finally needed to get up and do something, I decided it was time for me to get healthy and in shape again, I don't have/need to lose weight but to get my whole body healthier again. I apologise for the long introduction but it is relevant to what I'm going to write here.
The gym I go to offers those kind of courses/classes where there is an instructor doing some exercise and you need to copy what he/she does, while there is loud music playing in the background. A friend of mine decided to start this "adventure" with me and so we did.
Well, first lesson yesterday was a disaster to me and me only. I was so anxious I can't even explain. Everyone kept the rythm quite well (some very fast, others at their own pace) and I couldn't even do it at my own pace, I was just devastated after the first 10 minutes. Around that time my vision started going all black and that is when I was well aware I reached my limit, asked the instructor if it was okay to leave for a while and headed towards the locker room where I sat for a good 5 minutes drinking water and trying to get a hold of myself. After those five minutes I started feeling a bit better and was ready to go back. Once I was back in, the instructor kind of understood I was struggling a lot and gave me an even lighter weight to lift while doing the exercises and told me "When you feel too tired just do the exercise without using the weight" and so I did when it was too much for me, but after ten minutes I felt super bad again and started seeing black once more, I got out to the locker room again and couldn't come back because I didn't feel like I could make it. I was so ashamed of myself, I felt so out of shape and weak and I felt bad for leaving my friend alone doing the exercises when I was the one who first decided to go. I was on the verge of tears and my anxiety was at a super high level at that point, I managed to do roughly 20 minutes out of a whole hour session. Once we changed and got to the gym "lobby" we met the instructor, she was kind of nice and told me it was all anxiety on my part, not the fact that I was out of shape (not too sure about that, I mean for sure being out of shape played its part :P) and that I convinced myself I couldn't do it. She assured me that in 3 or 4 lessons I will be able to keep up with everyone else.
I felt like I was the first person ever this whole thing happened to, is it okay for the first time ever to be that bad? Am I really going to do it? I'm sure everyone experience is different, still I do really need some comfort. I want to be strong and to be able to go there again but right now I feel like it is impossible for me to do it or to be ever able to keep up with everyone there.
Thanks again and sorry for the long thread.

fittoday14

I've always done those types of exercises at home. I excelled at those instructor-led workouts when I was younger, but now.. HA!

There are so many videos you can buy and do at home. Have you ever tried? You can workout at your own pace.. press pause and rewind as you wish.

StraubreyR

You are certainly not the only one who this happens to!

Congrats for trying it out! That right there is a great accomplishment! And even when you got anxious, you went back in and tried again. I think for a person with anxiety, which I have as well, that right there is a great victory. My advice is that you have already done the hardest part, getting there one time, having anxiety, and not running away. If you keep trying, I'm quite sure it will get better with time. If you have to take a break and sit in a quiet place for a bit before going back, so be it. Sounds like your instructor is understanding of what you are going through.

As far as keeping up with everyone else, I wouldn't really worry about it too much. Everyone is different. You will get there in time as you get used to the routine.

sadrithmora

Trust me, you're not the only one. I've had anxiety since high school as well (around 15-16 as well). I still got out when I really had to (like buy food ), but yeah, sitting at the pc all day, surfing or playing games was most I did. No idea how I ever managed to complete my uni degree. My first time at the gym was horrible. I signed up for some general fitness class, can't even remember what it was now. It was soooo horrible watching everyone around me do the exercises while I could only do about 4 squats before my legs started shaking and feeling like I'm about to pass out. Unfortunately for me, it was so bad I didn't even go back there. The gym atmosphere just makes me feel horrible about myself.

Began losing my weight just under a year ago, and most of it was without exercise. What I do now (15-20 mins circuit once or twice a week, and long walks with the dog) I do at home. Not the best way to go about it for sure, but I just can't see myself going to the gym ;(. But at least now I'm not fatigued anymore, so it's something. Really wish I could make myself exercise, but yeah, so far it's not working very well. Perhaps you can find more support from your friends and the instructor.

Good luck, don't give up!

Kadoober

If it was the first time this ever happened to anyone, the instructor wouldn't have know what to say, would they have?

Keep trying. Keep going. The more you go, the more comfortable you will become, the better shape you will be in, you will have all those happy endorphins rushing through you, which can help your depression, and you will be keeping up with the rest of the class in no time! Don't stay home, you can do this!

leggup

I've never had anxiety, but I have taken classes that were completely out of my league, specifically Zumba. I had no idea what I was doing. I went right when everyone else ran left, I jumped and threw my hands up while everyone crouched, you get the idea. It helps to remember that everyone there was new once.

That said, it sounds like you need a professional to get over the "vision blackout"-y stuff.

JoRocka

1.) GOOD JOB for doing something new and getting off your butt.
<as someone who has struggled with depression- I know how overwhelmingly difficult that can be>

2.) You already were feeling anxious about going + you went to a class where there were other people who were already used to what they were doing.. that's intimidating. I've been a gym rat my whole life- and even I have a hard time getting up the gumption to walk into a fitness class- to me it's very overwhelming- so that's another HUGE accomplishment!!!. I much prefer the weight room!!!

3.) anxiety + overwhelmed + workouts = A THING.

But Jo-what does that even mean?

My anecdotal story for you- I'm a dancer -I'm not a good musician- I didn't grow up with music- and I do not have much of an ear for it. (yet)
As a dancer- sometimes you gotta learn things you don't always want to learn or that are really hard... well- we play finger cymbals in my class- they aren't a prop- they are a musical instrument- so not only do you need to learn to play- rhythms patterns and stuff- you have to do it in time- in tempo- AND you have to dance. oh yeah- AND be fabulous. LOL

There are days in class- when i am so tired- and stressed- and I CANNOT get what we are doing... I stand in the back- and all I can do is the foot pattern and at best catch the ONE of the pattern (ONE e and a TWO e and a... right)
Sometimes I just stand- tears are POURING down my face- I can't see- I can't breath- and I have a voice in my head that says you will NEVER be able to do this. and I do my best to either just do the foot pattern- or just play the cymbals... I have left the room to go do push ups and burpees...> i have stood there in class trying to not fling snot on people... and at best I learn the first 8 counts of something and no more because my brain just tries to shut down.

I'm a professional. I have been dancing for almost a decade.
I get PAID to perform and entertain- this is what I LOVE to do. And my brain says all that- and then goes- if you're so good why can't you do this??? My stupid brain has the power to cripple me and bring me to my knees.

And one day I realized I wanted to learn this so bad that it didn't matter what I did - I was going to stay in the room- and I was going to do SOMETHING.

I was going to play the one.
I was going to do the feet.
i was going to count.

something.
ANYTHING. That kept me there and focused. And not listening to that voice in my head.

Anything worth doing takes time. And it absolutely can cripple you to the point of none functioning. you're brain is a powerful thing. It's OKAY to be upset- and it's okay to not get it. It takes time. You have to just keep pressing onward and upward- at whatever pace that is for you.

But just remember it's YOUR brain. You can tell IT what to do. And no matter what you do- if you can stay present- and say NO brain- we are doing a thing today- even if it's just the feet- or just body weight- okay I need a break- but we are still going to be breathing- and we are going to stay present- this is a good thing.

I say that all to tell you- it happens- even to people who have been practicing and doing things a while- it can still happen- and it's okay- it's normal to be frustrated and over whelmed- sensory over loaded- it's OKAY- not somethign to be angry or berate yourself about.

Just do the best you can- pro tip about classes- you get better at them- and if it's a dance class- watch the feet first- figure out what the feet are doing then add the crazy stuff on top of it.

ninerbuff

One can get pretty good with anything if there's continuous repetition. The more times one attends, the chances of getting better at it happens.
I don't know of many people who don't feel awkward when first trying something new, so don't fret. Everyone started at practically the same place in their journey.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

swsays

I read your post and two things jumped out at me:

1. You got out of the house and went to the gym!

2. You exercised for TWENTY minutes!

For a first step into a healthier lifestyle, these are both huge steps in the right direction! I also think the instructor sounds great and very understanding.

Good for you! Focus on the positives and keep at it!

skyeny

Ashamed of yourself???? You should be proud of yourself!!! You got out of home, and you're on the right track! Take it at your own pace, you don't have to prove anything to anybody. 20 min today, 30 min tomorrow... Did you go to see a doctor to make sure you don't have anything serious?

Every day I see people that are: skinnier, healthier, more beautiful, smarter, etc. Comparing yourself to others is very depressing. It's not a habit yet but every time I start comparing myself to others I tell myself "I'm allowed to compare MYSELF today ONLY to MYSELF yesterday, you can't compare trees and dogs" So, don't think about what others can do. Don't give up!

SrMaggalicious

Don't set your expectations of your self so high. Slow and steady wins the race. You WENT...that was the first step. Be kind to yourself...don't beat up on yourself. It will just increase your anxiety level. I would suggest just watching and walking through the class the first few times to just acclimate yourself to the new environment. Then when you feel like a little bounce here, and a little BAM! there, do it...and come back down BEFORE you even come close to feeling a blackout. You should also maybe eat a fruit 30 mins before...you sound like you have low BP, which drops during exertion...(just guessing, cause that used to happen to me).

You're not in a hurry!!! This will be a lifestyle....you have the rest of your life to master a workout. Be kind to your soul, that's the first step. I can just see you posting in another year or two and you've become some incredibly cardio queen!

Namaste

laurie04427

What you're describing sounds like a panic attack. I have a close family member with severe anxiety and it's hard to tackle on your own, you should seek help from a doctor.

drosebud

Adding to what others have said: it takes me a while to get into a new routine and I've been going to the gym for ages, so it's not unusual at all. The only people that find it all easy are the ones who aren't trying. If you can persevere then the rewards can be fantastic.

SoDamnHungry

It sounds like you haven't worked out or even moved much in years (since you haven't really left your house, it's not like you've even been walking that much), and you started with a routine much too advanced for you. That's not a problem. It happens to lots of other people. What you can do is either start slower on your own, try taking a lower level class, or just go to the same class and do your best and improve over time.

I'm in decent shape, and I remember the first time I did 30 Day Shred which a 20-minute workout and I was only using four pound weights. I thought I was gonna die.

rides4sanity

First thing first... Great job! I am proud of you, but I understand how you feel. I've been there, heck most of us have...You did great stepping out of your comfort zone and getting started.

Secondly, I've been an instructor for about 8 years now and I can tell you with certainty that you aren't the first or the last to feel the pain of a new workout. I've taught a bit of everything, but now it is mostly spin classes. Here is what I tell ALL of the new folks before they start their first class... "The first few classes aren't about fitness, they are about training your body to move differently. A lot of things will feel akward and difficult until you figure them out, so don't stress over it. If it gets hard, back off the intensity and recover then come back in..."

Now you are thinking I'm just saying this and that it only applies to people new to fitness... NOT true. My husband is a marathon runner who can run 26.2 miles at a 7:25 pace and he struggled with his first 45minute spin class. As I said, it isn't about the fitness until you figure out the form and rthym... Give yourself a break.

Thirdly, I have struggled with anxiety and depression for many years. Cardio has been a great help with this, BUT even I still get nervous when I go to a class. What if I suck? What if I have to stop? What if people notice I'm struggling? All of these things still go through my head. I still tend to stay on the outskirts of the class, but I refuse to allow this negative thought process to rule my life any more... I turned the corner and so can you.

Stay strong and give yourself a chance to adjust.

Pirate_chick

Be proud, you got out the house and went to the gym! You do what you can, and soon you'll find you'll be able to do more and more because you're getting stronger. GO YOU!! Keep it up.

queenbea77

Don't feel bad! Everyone has those fears (even if they don't show it). I've been going to the gym for over 15 years and every time I try a new class or new machine I get those doubts. Just remember no matter how good those other people in the class are (or appear to be) and the instructor for that matter - they all had "their 1st day's when they didn't know what they were doing either".

Do what you can do, do what is comfortable and don't worry about being able to keep up. If the instructor gives you a hard time about doing the class without weights, going slower or having to rest then she isn't a very good instructor.

Bravo to you for going to the gym and trying something new!! That is the first step.

I've been itching to try Zumba but I'm terrified of looking silly and messing up on the moves so I'm going to buy a DVD and try it at home for a while until I'm comfortable enough to join a class.

skyeny

Adding to what others have said: it takes me a while to get into a new routine and I've been going to the gym for ages, so it's not unusual at all. The only people that find it all easy are the ones who aren't trying. If you can persevere then the rewards can be fantastic.

Agree ) OP is so much cooler than everybody else, cause she's pushing herself! I know so many people who can easily do that 1 hour class and go home. And most of them haven't changed a bit in years. I can do hours of those classes. What's the point? I hired a PT and god save me from ever showing him that some exercises are too easy for me or even okay. On some days I could even sell tickets to the people watching me at the end of the workout trying to do some sit ups lol It's about trying harder day after day, not doing at the same level for months. If it's easy, you're not doing it right.

jackpotclown

It does sound like you went way over your head....I'd say that videos might be helpful for you in learning moves, getting used to following others, etc. If doing group workouts is overwhelming, there are plenty of videos on how to do specific exercises, lifts, etc....you can make your own routine and still gain strength, etc. \m/

yukimenoko

Oh my, your words mean so much to me, thanks for sharing your stories, for your kind words and your support, it really is helping me so much and making me feel so much better!!!
I don't feel like doing this at home, I feel like I would lack the motivation and end up doing nothing.
And yes, it is low blood pressure. I always have had lower bp by default (not much lower, just a bit under the standards), since I was born, I did check with a doctor before beginning an did some exams to check everything's okay and it is. I always went around the low BP problem by actually keeping in shape, black outs hit me when I am too weak. I can say for sure it wasn't a panick attack because I actually experienced those as well and that was not the case, but thanks for worrying.
I am determined and I will keep going!

phoebejeeby

It sounds like you were having a panic attack, not that you are out of shape. We all have fears and going to they gym was certainly one of mine for years. It was very brave of you to tackle this fear. I would encourage you not to give up. Its very hard to conquer something new that causes you extreme anxiety but it sound like going to the gym would help strengthen your mind as well as your body. Take it very slow and set small goals. Let yourself celebrate the small successes. You are growing as a person. Growing is a slow process, but as you keep it up and keep reaching new goals you are making your life so much better. You will have less and less fear and more and more confidence.

Nightcometh

This happened to me in Nike Training Club, and I am moderately in shape!
I think you did a great thing by trying...a wonderful thing.

Maybe it's best to start off at something here you can go your own pace and no pressure from anyone else watching. Like the treadmill or the elliptical. They are a great way to burn calories and go as long/short a time as you want!

Congrats on your achievement of going to the gym! It's hard to fight through depression and go anywhere, sometimes (I know for sure).

KseRz

Hello everyone,
I'm new here and I hope I'm doing this right!

Yesterday was my first time ever in a gym, I'm 22 years old and I've been struggling against depression and anxiety since I was 16. Almost five years ago my depression got worse, meaning I couldn't even get out of my house for the past 4 years, I just spent my days either lying in bed or sat behind my desk surfing the internet. One or two weeks ago I decided I finally needed to get up and do something, I decided it was time for me to get healthy and in shape again, I don't have/need to lose weight but to get my whole body healthier again. I apologise for the long introduction but it is relevant to what I'm going to write here.
The gym I go to offers those kind of courses/classes where there is an instructor doing some exercise and you need to copy what he/she does, while there is loud music playing in the background. A friend of mine decided to start this "adventure" with me and so we did.
Well, first lesson yesterday was a disaster to me and me only. I was so anxious I can't even explain. Everyone kept the rythm quite well (some very fast, others at their own pace) and I couldn't even do it at my own pace, I was just devastated after the first 10 minutes. Around that time my vision started going all black and that is when I was well aware I reached my limit, asked the instructor if it was okay to leave for a while and headed towards the locker room where I sat for a good 5 minutes drinking water and trying to get a hold of myself. After those five minutes I started feeling a bit better and was ready to go back. Once I was back in, the instructor kind of understood I was struggling a lot and gave me an even lighter weight to lift while doing the exercises and told me "When you feel too tired just do the exercise without using the weight" and so I did when it was too much for me, but after ten minutes I felt super bad again and started seeing black once more, I got out to the locker room again and couldn't come back because I didn't feel like I could make it. I was so ashamed of myself, I felt so out of shape and weak and I felt bad for leaving my friend alone doing the exercises when I was the one who first decided to go. I was on the verge of tears and my anxiety was at a super high level at that point, I managed to do roughly 20 minutes out of a whole hour session. Once we changed and got to the gym "lobby" we met the instructor, she was kind of nice and told me it was all anxiety on my part, not the fact that I was out of shape (not too sure about that, I mean for sure being out of shape played its part :P) and that I convinced myself I couldn't do it. She assured me that in 3 or 4 lessons I will be able to keep up with everyone else.
I felt like I was the first person ever this whole thing happened to, is it okay for the first time ever to be that bad? Am I really going to do it? I'm sure everyone experience is different, still I do really need some comfort. I want to be strong and to be able to go there again but right now I feel like it is impossible for me to do it or to be ever able to keep up with everyone there.
Thanks again and sorry for the long thread.

To be honest I think shes actually giving you too much credit. After 3 or 4 lessons if you still cant keep up, dont worry about it. Having almost blacked out a few times due to the combination of anxiety and exertion I would say that you pushed yourself pretty hard.

Everyone's experience is different, but rest assured you arent the only one to experience anxiety going to a gym and working out with a bunch of strangers. Best advice I can give is "dont worry about anyone else but you". I know it seems kinda selfish, but you arent there competing with other people. You arent going to get a prize or a discount for doing more work than the other patrons. So compare yourself to just you. Focus on getting a little bit better every day, be consistent, and never quit.

ETA: When I say never quit I mean, dont stop going to the gym. Its okay to take a lot of breaks and stop when you feel you need to. Youll pick it up again tomorrow or the next day.

kobiemom

The loud, throbbing music always makes me feel anxious and confused. Would a stretching class, or something quiet, be less stressful? At least, as a place to start?

MrsSausage58

I read your post and two things jumped out at me:

1. You got out of the house and went to the gym!

2. You exercised for TWENTY minutes!

For a first step into a healthier lifestyle, these are both huge steps in the right direction! I also think the instructor sounds great and very understanding.

Good for you! Focus on the positives and keep at it!

This! You should be proud of yourself! :flowerforyou:

TrailRunner61

Oh my, you sound just like me! Although I do not suffer from depression, I cannot dance, I cannot follow routines in exercise classes, especially fast ones! I've never been able to either! It's embarrassing, stressful and I hate it. So.. I do other stuff, mostly alone. Not that I don't like being with other people, I just cant follow routines, especially if the instructor is facing me, so it's backwards.
So, instead of classes, I walk, run, swim, lift weights, garden, bike, hike, etc. Anything that doesn't force me to follow someone else's direction. It's not an issue anymore except when people want me to dance on a dance floor and I suppose if I cared that much, I'd take private dancing lessons and get over it.
I suggest that you find something else and get out of that class asap! Find a walking buddy or go check out the weight machines/free weights, exercise bikes, treadmills, etc., at your gym. Maybe take a spin class with your friend? Don't give up and keep looking until you find something! Good luck and I pray you find something you can enjoy and excel at.

lockedcj7

I dropped out of a ballroom dance class because of anxiety. We had been to several lessons that went okay but I was at the point where I should have been getting it and I wasn't. The instructor was working with me while my wife and all the other students were standing around watching me struggle. I got nauseous and had to leave. I finally told my wife that I was so physically uncomfortable that I was not going to be able to do it.

I've never been officially diagnosed but I have all the symptoms of social anxiety disorder and I don't catch on to choreography quickly at all. I recently took up Taekwondo and everything about it is choreography except the sparring. I was afraid that it was going to be the same story all over again. Instead, I took control and wrote cheat sheets about what move comes next. I watch videos of the forms on youtube and I practice the steps at 1/2 speed (or less) just to get them down. Heck, we always do the same warm-up / stretching exercises and I still don't know what order they go in after almost four months!

I hope you go back and try again. Don't use any weights and take it easy. Try to keep up with the group but don't put 100% effort into every move. Focus instead on learning the choreography. Ask the instructor if s/he has a video that you can study and practice at home. If the other students don't mind, you might even be able to video the class yourself.

After living a sedentary lifestyle for 4 years, you're not going to be in any kind of physical condition. You may not be over weight but you're likely quite out of shape. That's okay and is to be expected. An hour of intense aerobics is a lot, even for someone who is in shape. Don't beat yourself up. You can do it and you will do it if you stick with it.

cebreisch

Going to the gym can be a very anxiety ridden experience.

When I was in college, I had to take 2 Physical Education classes to get my degree. A friend of mine and I decided to take an aerobics class. I consider myself to be someone who can at least hold a beat when I dance, but I'm telling you - I never felt so uncoordinated in my life during that class!!! I didn't know the moves, and couldn't keep up. I wasn't obese at that time, but I was a bit overweight.

Yes I was embarrassed. But to tell you the truth, as I looked around, there wasn't one person paying attention to me, just the instructor. She would call out that if you were having trouble keeping up, to just march in place, or step side to side until you were able to catch your breath or whatever - but not in a way to single anybody out. I was surprised that some other people did it too though!!

I planted myself in the back, and of course, it was right next to this chick who had been doing the class long enough that she "added a degree of difficulty" to the moves to make it a bit of a harder workout. She was very nice, and instead of feeling like crap around her, I chose to view it as: "That's what I want to be able to do someday....to be able to up the degree of difficulty to that point."

But the back of the room was where I needed to be so I didn't feel like I was "out in front" of everyone.

You can do this....it's all about finding ways to ease into it.

SnuggleSmacks

I am terribly uncoordinated and clumsy with no rhythm. Following those classes pose a real challenge for me, especially if they're fast paced. I can understand it being discouraging. It really does get easier the more you do it, and regardless of whether your'e out of sync with everyone else, the goal is to get fitter and have fun. I just concentrate on those things and try to laugh it off when I nearly fall over for no apparent reason.

You might also want to start with something else in conjunction with your classes, like taking long walks to practice being out of the house and doing videos at home to get acquainted with the rhythms and moves.

Just remember, the only way it's ever going to get easier is to just do it. Push through the bad parts and you'll get to the good parts. If you give up, you'll never get there.

karinaApplebombinos

Anxiety sucks... Huge applause for making this effort. How about trying yoga? That too is crazy hard, but maybe the breathing would help? Don't give up!

I_Will_End_You

I can't keep up in those classes, either! I took a kickboxing class years ago, one time, and could never seem to figure out which way was which. It sucked! I'm just that uncoordinated. Maybe you can try going to the gym and just starting with something easy, like treadmills or elliptical, to get a little more comfortable in that environment. Then maybe start the class again.