Gym intimidation and strength training

agrafina

I want to start weight lifting after reading Vismal's AMA thread, and seeing the constant recommendation on the forums to really focus on strength training. I've settled on the Strong Lifts 5x5 program to start with, which means getting a gym membership. I have to be honest, at 250 pounds, it really intimidates me, going and hanging out and working out in the same area as the body builder types. I have this irrational fear of I don't know what. Working out on cardio equipment is easier at a gym, since it is all sort of self contained, but weight lifting seems different. More like I'd be this freak fat outsider woman who doesn't belong and who should just leave and not spoil their body building environment with my fat weakness. How do I get over this? Tell me it won't be this bad? I haven't felt this much anxiety over something so minor since for a long time, and it is very distressing. I'm annoyed that I'm even bothered by this.

How long did it take others to get comfortable at the gym, or a new environment where they felt intimidated to go?

tinkbaby101

I've never walked into a gym and seen a group of meat heads huddled over the weights, snarling at others. I'm sure they exist, but I'm guessing they're rarer than most of us imagine. When I did HIIT at a gym, I was worried over the same thing! It took about 2 weeks of going, before I realized that no matter what time I went, it was mostly filled with people like myself: trying to work off some pounds, get healthier, and glancing over shoulders to make sure nobody was staring.

It took a couple of weeks to get comfortable. Once I was, though, I started seeing familiar faces, and others who had been going longer would give tips for lifting correctly, or how to make an exercise more effective. It was just going the first few times that was a problem! Seriously, though, I never met one single judgmental person, no matter the state of their physique.

Hammybone

You get over it by going and doing it.
You'll have every right to use equipment that you will be paying the gym to have access to.
If you can afford it, you might also look into meeting with a trainer who can give you a tour of the the area and critique your form.

thepetiterunner

I totally get this. I'm a small framed person so I always felt like the "weenie" little girl trying to work out with all these muscled-jock-meathead types.

Honestly, one of the best things you can do is take the free lesson with a personal trainer that they usually always offer when you sign up for a gym (or if you can swing it financially, hire a trainer for a couple of months) so you can feel confident that you're there working out, doing things correctly and you can sort of settle into the environment.

And just wear clothes you're comfortable in, put on some music and tune everything else out. You're paying to use that equipment and you've every right to use it as you want to. Also, people don't pay attention to you nearly as much as you think. So just go about your business, get on to the road to sexy pants and have a good time

Hellbent_Heidi

Its NOTgoing to be the way you imagine it at all. I go to an LAFitness, and yes, I have seen the 'meatheads' and the super fit girls in skimpier clothes, but there's a lot more 'normal' (and overweight) people who are there to lose, improve problem areas and learn new things.

If possible, try going in the morning....that's usually a pretty friendly crowd who is intersted in getting their workout done before heading to work, vs. the after work/evening group where its more crowded and you have more people waiting for the machines/weights. Pay for a session or two with a trainer if you can afford to....they will show you the right things to do, and then you can take it from there.

SuperC_85

Go get it!

Have a look at this thread below, trust me a lot of people will respect you for getting in there!

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1195374-blog-piece-called-dear-new-girl-at-gym?hl=gym#posts-20035250

quellybelly

Just go.

I was really intimidated by the guys in the weight section too. I think a lot of it came from thinking I'd look like a fool and look like I didn't know what I was doing and then feeling like I didn't belong. I was convinced that everyone would be thinking "what does this little girl think she's doing in our section of the gym?" What worked for me was going early in the mornings when there were less people around, and also going with someone. Eventually I gained more confidence i myself once I knew what I was doing, and you realize that everyone is focused on their own workout and not on you!

Good luck!

WandaMM1

There are always one or two jerks (male or female) but MOST will be supporting you. You get total credit for showing up and trying.

And, same as the others who commented, if they offer a free personal training session, take advantage of it. Having confidence that you know what you are doing and that you are doing it with good form (CRITICAL) will go a long way towards helping to build your comfort level.

agrafina

Thanks everyone! I think I'm dwelling on it because I don't have enough to do at work and so I think of everything that could possibly go badly with what I want to do. Working out in the morning is a good idea. I already get up at 5 am, so it won't be that hard to adjust my mornings to working out before work on Tuesdays and Thursdays during the workweek. I also sometimes forget I have a right to things as well (a hangover from depression and low self-esteem that I'm still working on). Thank you for the much-needed reminder!

matuskap

The only reason people might get frustrated by you is when you do something stupid, like curls in the only squat rack in the gym or sit on a bench for 20 minutes playing with phone when theres people who actually want to work out on that station. But you really have to take it to the extreme to piss people like that, and even then they [rpbably wont engage you anyway.

As for me, you could be dying from poisoning in agonizing pain while screaming like crazy and i wouldnt probably even notice. I find hardcore gyms most friendly places overall.
You get much more staring in a "planet fitness" type of gyms from all the insecure "im going to change my life from now on and fail immediately" people.

poedunk65

As long as you are polite, no one will say anything or bother you. In fact they love to give advise.

Everyone is there for the same reason to improve on each persons idea of what they want to achieve.

Go for it, you are welcome to friend me if you want, I will help if I can.

JoRocka

educate yourself. practice form at home those two things will go a very long way into getting you comfortable with what you want.
Get a book/notebook/composition book- write down your work out ahead of time- draw stick figures if you can't remember (I have stick figures in my book and I've been lifting for years) totally normal.

bring a towel if you sweat a lot
bring a water bottle

go to the gym at off peak hours... so do not go and try to learn something new at 5 PM on a monday- you'll get over whelmed.

If you can go 24 hours- go when at 2 AM- no one is there- maybe 1 or 2 people.

I actually prefer a slight bustle to teh gym- to empty and you KNOW the only other 2 people in there are watching you- too busy and you cant' get crap done.

It takes me about 2-3 weeks to get comfortable with a new gym. For you I'd say give it a month or two. You start seeing the same faces and you give "the nod" of what's up without talking even though you don't know their names. It will happen- it just takes time. But educate yourself- be prepared- and go do what you need to do- and YES- people watch you. i'ts okay- it's normal to people watch- weight lifting has a different "flow" than the cardio and machine people.

Lift-
rest
people watch
lift
water
lift
bathroom
lift
face book

it's normal. and they aren't looking to judge- they are just looking because you are there adn they aren't lifting- but they don't care about you. I promise.

go forth
lift all the things
and be fabulous!

The_GingerBeard_Man

It might help to have a workout buddy. They give you someone to talk to, and view your form. (Even if you are both novices, a set of eyes looking at you from the outside is invaluable.) The other nice thing about a lifting partner is you can motivate each other on days when you dont feel like going.

agrafina

The only reason people might get frustrated by you is when you do something stupid, like curls in the only squat rack in the gym or sit on a bench for 20 minutes playing with phone when theres people who actually want to work out on that station. But you really have to take it to the extreme to piss people like that, and even then they [rpbably wont engage you anyway.

If I do that then I deserve whatever crankiness comes my way.

BurntCoffee

I've not ventured into the weight machine section f the gym for the exact same reason. I have this mental block about it. I also fear that I am going to do one of the machines wrong. I need to get over myself because whether I go over there or not, it's not like those people pay my mortgage or anything. They sure as heck don't own the gym.

Now, if I can just feel that way when I'm actually there I'll be golden.

_lyndseybrooke_

I felt the same way. The treadmill feels "safe" for me, but it's torture. I wanted to lift, but I always felt so awkward being the only woman on that side of the gym. If my husband went with me, I felt better, but I could feel curious eyes on me all the time even if it was just my imagination. I'm at a healthy weight already, so that had nothing to do with it. It was just my own insecurities and made no sense, but I couldn't shake it. Luckily, I was able to purchase my own lifting equipment and now I work out at home. I hated everything about the gym to be honest. I feel much better at home, exercising with bare feet in my underwear and a baggy t-shirt. Can't do that in the gym. I'm also glad that no one is around to see me on my last rep of OHP, because I probably look like an idiot.

It's easier said that done, but own it! I loved seeing women lifting free weights and admired them for being confident enough to be over there with all the dudes and clearly not feel self conscious.

harphy

Once you overcome the fear of "guys section of the gym" you figure out it was empty all the time. Guys are actually preety cool and they show respect for any woman with the guts to just try lifting heavy. They might give you a look or two at the beginning but nobody is going to criticise you or shun you or even say it's not your businness there. Some people here suggested you put earphones on but I vote against it. From time to time communication is necessary especially if it is a small and crowded gym. You will have to agree on who will use what equipment and when. Now keep your head high and go there!

cmeiron

I just started at a gym for the first time and it's awesome. It's a strength training gym specifically, so yes there are a lot of bodybuilders, but every time I go in I see all types of bodies - old, young, skinny, overweight, strong, weak - and everyone is respectful and nice. The biggest dude there today (as wide in the chest widthwise as lengthwise) very nicely saved my *kitten*, without me asking, after I pinned myself under a bar during a bench press . Honestly, everyone is there to do their own thing and no one is judging (well, I suppose one or two might be but they're not worth the energy). Check a few places out and see if you can find one with a "vibe" you like - maybe a less conventional/commercial gym would be a better fit! Ask one of the trainers for a tour and some tips so you feel more confident about your program and the equipment, and enjoy! (Weight training is da bomb!):drinker:

HWeatherholt

I have been doing NROLFW since February. When I started I was about 210. It took me a little while to get comfortable and I still try to go at not so busy times (but I want to get in and out) and will still pick the farthest bench away I can.

But it has gotten easier. I have met some other regulars and have conversations with them about thing other than working out/lifting.

NSV: In fact one of them, a really big, buff, firefighter asked me the othe other day why I kept tugging my shirt down, and after I told him, said he thought it was because I had caught him checking out my *kitten*!

MissFit0101

You get over it by going and doing it.
You'll have every right to use equipment that you will be paying the gym to have access to.
If you can afford it, you might also look into meeting with a trainer who can give you a tour of the the area and critique your form.

Exactly. The only way to get over it is to just go in and do it. I was terrified when I first joined a gym and started lifting weights there, but the only way I got comfortable with it was to just go do it anyways.

JTick

Keep in mind that people watching is different than people judging. Yes, I look at people in the gym. Not in a creeper way, but in a "I'm between sets and kinda bored" way. I don't judge. I might notice if they're doing something cool (pull-ups...I can't do those yet) or something that intrigues me because I haven't tried that exercise. I'm sure they do the same to me. I was downright stared at one day by a couple of bodybuilders because I was squatting 190. Yes they stared, but not because I was doing anything wrong, but rather doing something very right.

Remember that everyone was new at one point. When I started lifting, I would research and learn one exercise before I went to the gym. I'd get my cardio out of the way, and then head over to the weight section, practice the one lift I had learned, and leave. The next time, I'd come prepared with an additional lift, and practice the new one plus the one I had learned last time. In just a week or two I had a good routine learned and was spending more time with the weights than on the cardio.

CompressedCarbon

It will get easier when you feel confident and have been there a while. So, as others have suggested, going with a trainer at first is great. I spend a lot of time looking at videos during the day and imitating them.

You know what else makes it easier? When you start recognizing people on the same basic schedule as you. Though I've not spoken to anyone, I've named the regulars and look forward to seeing the Conjoined Twins, the Lunker, BamBam, Thor, and Angry Old Man. I have seen some of them looking at me but they don't seem to be judging me.

Just go, you'll learn to love it. And you'll like what it does for you.

MissFit0101

Keep in mind that people watching is different than people judging. Yes, I look at people in the gym. Not in a creeper way, but in a "I'm between sets and kinda bored" way. I don't judge. I might notice if they're doing something cool (pull-ups...I can't do those yet) or something that intrigues me because I haven't tried that exercise. I'm sure they do the same to me. I was downright stared at one day by a couple of bodybuilders because I was squatting 190. Yes they stared, but not because I was doing anything wrong, but rather doing something very right.

Remember that everyone was new at one point. When I started lifting, I would research and learn one exercise before I went to the gym. I'd get my cardio out of the way, and then head over to the weight section, practice the one lift I had learned, and leave. The next time, I'd come prepared with an additional lift, and practice the new one plus the one I had learned last time. In just a week or two I had a good routine learned and was spending more time with the weights than on the cardio.

I'm a people watcher in between sets as well. I like to see cool new exercises that others are doing, that I might want to throw into my routine sometime. I definitely am not judging.

Holly_Roman_Empire

The first gym I went to where I actually was in the weight section using a barbell and plates was in the Middle East. I REALLY was the only women on that side of the gym, not to mention the men outnumber the women on deployments by about 5 to 1. Anyway, after the first 2 or 3 times of going there, the men figured I was serious about this. I eventually made friends, and they came to respect and admire that I wasn't just there for the elliptical. Not that there's anything wrong with the elliptical.

Men are men, but they probably aren't going to go out of their way to make you feel uncomfortable or unwelcomed on the weights side of the gym. Educate yourself, ask questions, and ask for a spotter when you need it. You'll be fine.

TheStephil

It may be awkward or uncomfortable for you but stick with it and it will get easier. At the gyms I've been to the men have been very friendly, offering to share equipment, spot, help take down the million 45lb plates that someone left on the squat rack, etc. Do your research ahead of time, try to practice the lifts at home if you can, etc. Know what you are going to do before you get to the gym, bring music and just focus on yourself.

If you are unsure about your lifts, you can try to hire a personal trainer to look over your form and give you tips. Most gyms offer a free session when you sign up. Not all personal trainers know what they are doing but having a professional with you in the weight room can help make you feel less awkward.

A workout buddy is also a great help. I love dragging my boyfriend along with me because it's someone to help spot, check form and just chat with. I wish he had agreed to go with me in the beginning because the time flies when he is with me.

GFreg

Well I'm sure that there is always the exception to the rule but in my experience, those really fit people will usually offer tips and advice. I would avoid the typical high school kids that are in there to throw weights around and try to look "bad-*kitten*" and there are usually some people that plug in to some music and just avoid people but I think you will find that most of those big muscle guys would like to see someone trying to better themselves.

Some gym etiquette to remember would be to put the cell phone away. If you use it to track, that is fine but don't sit at a piece of equipment answering texts. Use the equipment as it is intended, i.e. no curls in the squat rack. Rack your weights. I lot of people will just leave their weights sitting on the bar or at the station they were using but that is pretty rude and generally frowned upon.

Edit: You can also check out a place like exrx.net to get familiar with some of the different exercises. They have a huge library of different lifts that they illustrate as a gif so you can see how they are performed. Going in with a clear plan of what you want to accomplish and what you are doing is going to be much more beneficial than going in there and just bouncing around to different stations.

Miss_james1990

Walking in is always the hard part and picking your first thing to do but seriously that can be avoided by planning ahead

cebreisch

It isn't that bad at all. My husband had the same feeling before going to the gym too. He felt like he'd be in there with all these 'buff" men, and be real intimidated by all the "manly men" working out in there.

It's been so long since I first started going to a gym that I guess I don't have that anxiety about it anymore. I'm not there to make friends. It's not a social gathering place for me. I'm there to "work out", or "life weights" or whatever.

The purpose of going to the gym is to be productive towards bettering your body....building strength, being healthier, all that jazz.

As one of the girls here says, I don't give a "flying floof" about who else is there doing whatever they're doing. You're there for you.

As others have said, hardest part is really just walking in the door - making yourself show up.

willrun4bagels

Just go in there and do it. If I can, anyone can. Seriously. I'll share my story.

I'm on week 3 of Stronglifts. I was 281 lbs last September. I'm 223 right now. I'm also 6'2" and have zero balance or grace (I blame it on the higher center of gravity...). I'm like a trifecta of things that I thought people would laugh at. Awkwardly tall, fat, and clumsy. And an inexperienced noob to boot? Pfft. I was sure everyone would make fun of me. The free weights area of my gym is down a few steps from the rest of the gym, with a lower ceiling... it's like a free weights lair. It was always full of big scary men (so I thought). There is only one squat rack.

On the first day I was planning to do a Stronglifts workout, I walked on the treadmill for 5 minutes, and almost could not muster up the courage to go down there and start. I kind of wanted to throw up a little bit. I wanted to leave.

I walked down there, headphones in, and waited to see if anyone was using the squat rack. No one was. I got through my workout without anyone saying a word to me, or even looking at me for that matter. All of the big meaty dudes that were down there were honestly more focused on what they were doing to notice anything else.

The first workout was the scariest for me. It's been easier and easier every workout since then. The regulars in that section of the gym all say hi to me now when I get there (I work out at 5am M-W-F). I also totally fell over when doing squats last week... luckily the cage caught me from dropping the bar onto the floor... but not one single person noticed or said anything. There are some wandering eyes that I can see staring at my booty during squats... but I think that's inevitable. Heck... I even stare at people's booties when they're squatting. Not a big deal. People watch eachother lifting because between sets, there usually isn't much to do aside from sitting still or pacing around. I always watch other people. I'm still very new to this, so I'll try to watch someone doing an exercise and see if I can guess what parts of their body they're working with that particular exercise (back, chest, etc.). Helps pass the time.

I use the SL app on my phone to track sets and track rest periods. Re-rack all of your weights correctly. Watch lots of videos ahead of time to get your form down correctly. You got this!

sc003ro

no one comes out of the gate a inshape meathead......just remember each one of them could have been the overwieght kid in highschool, was in shape and gained 50 pounds or always was heavy lost a ton of wieght and now is a "the meathead"......

most people at the gym are just focused on their workout not you.....

I never pay attention to anyone and just lift

willrun4bagels

I'm also glad that no one is around to see me on my last rep of OHP, because I probably look like an idiot.

@lreed hahaha that was me at my gym this morning. I can't even imagine how I must have looked, but the last rep of set 5 wasn't pretty. In my head, everyone at the gym was applauding me when I finished that rep. It was that tough.:laugh: