Should a 5'9.6 145 girl want to lose weight

josiebearly11209

I am a teenager who is 145 lb at 5'9.5. I have a lot of friends who are like 120 pounds and it makes me feel depressed/sad because I know I will never weigh that little.

I wear a size 4 dress, small to medium top (I have a larger bust so I usually have to go up a size in shirts just for that reason alone) and a size 7-8 in jeans/shorts, I carry a lot of weight in my hips and rear end and the top/back of my thighs otherwise my legs are slim. My stomach is usually quite flat as I drink plenty of water and eat low carb (I have a carb intolerance but also don't like bread, rice, pasta much anyways) but the number really bugs me. I feel unattractive to men at 145 pounds. At my highest I was 165 lb but lost the weight as I have matured (I think it was more puppy fat/baby fat. My doctor is not concerned) I just don't feel very feminine like petite and dainty at my height and especially my weight. I have long legs and arms and I feel like a man.

The current guy interested in me is very open about his weight of 195 lb at 6'0 (he is an athlete so he carries a lot of muscle, you would have no idea he actually weighs close to 200 pounds) but I have been shutting him down and denying him access to me emotionally because I feel as though he deserves a petite, dainty girl which I am not.

I feel stuck and like I am closing doors because of my weight.

SezxyStef

hmmm...you should not want to lose weight.

I am a bit shorter than you and I am quite happy at 154 atm.

Will you ever been a small dainty girl...nope you are a tall slender curvy one and I know lots of guys my son included that would be all over you like white on rice...

Why ? because they don't want the 120lb dainty little thing, my son actually says he is afraid of dating a girl that size cause he is tall and well built and can't have fun with them...ie wrestling....throwing them in a snow bank (for fun) playing in the snow etc cause he's afraid he will actually hurt them.

Never mind he like a girl with boobs and a butt...

Stop shutting him down if he wanted a small dainty girl would he be going after you? nope..he wants tall and curvy...

martinel2099

Losing weight shouldn't be your goal, you're definitely in the healthy range. Consider going to the gym to help build muscle and tone. I've never seen a woman who works out a lot and doesn't look amazing.

ValGogo

There is absolutely nothing wrong with your weight/height ratio. 120 is not a magic number.

Please oh, PLEASE get that out of your head before it makes you crazy. I'm so serious. You are at your perfect weight. "Skinny" is not cute and with your height, you are already bordering on it.

You are only 19, you are perfect, and you need to recognize it for what it is.

Since you are so concerned with what men like and deserve (by the way, what about you! Don't you deserve a nice guy? YES you do so don't worry about him) let me tell you what men don't like.....men don't really like insecurlty. I'm telling you now before you end up a 35 year old beauty with severe emotional issues.

Worry about making yourself happy and EVERYONE will respond to that. Your confidence, along with your good looks will only make you more attractive. Please keep that in mind and don't worry about "what men like" because in the end, when you are naked they are not looking at your stretch marks; they are counting the seconds when they can put their hands on you.

josiebearly11209

Thank you @SezkyStef!! I am glad to hear you're happy with your weight and that your son is interested in girls more like me. It is very re-assuring for sure

aledba

First, you're a teenager. Your goal in life should be to have fun with your friends and do well in school. Being a teen is awkward and angsty. You are battling hormones and societal pressure. I hated my body as a teen - had terrible image issues back then. I was 5'4" and 145 lbs. Now, I'm the same height and 52 pounds heavier - I don't have body image concerns anymore but I know I can be more fit and am trying to get back to that 16 year old weight. Teen girls shouldn't diet, they should eat well and be physically active. If your doctor is not concerned, you're fine. If you're in doubt, find someone you can train weights with. That builds tone, confidence and helps you meet new people.

Rogiefreida

You are a perfectly healthy weight. This honestly sounds more like a self esteem issue than a weight issue. Just remember that the grass is always greener on the other side. I can guarantee you that many of those small dainty girls you talk about would love to be tall and curvy. Learn to embrace what you have and be confident. The guy who is interested in you wouldn't be interested in you if he wanted small and petite and dainty.

If you are unhappy with how your body looks, maybe look into weight training and changing how your weight is distributed. Plus it makes you feel bada** and feels great. But as far as losing weight, no. You definitely don't need to.

StaciMarie1974

I have a 14 year old daughter who does not like that she is only 5'1". She may grow a little more, but may not and likely not much. Comparing your weight to all of your friends, of different heights, is not fair to yourself.

mebepiglet123

Listen to stuff she knows her stuff.... Are your friends the same height as you... You will figure it out one day that you cannot compare weight... I would suggest not worrying about the scale but adding some weight training and get theses muscles to pop, that's way sexier than a skinny girl....
Good luck with your decisions.

josiebearly11209

Thank you everyone, I cannot tell you how helpful you ALL are!!

martinel2099

Happy to help, you're a beautiful girl don't let the haters hate.

Tywhi3

In my opinion you should continue to focus on being healthy, not necessarily losing weight.

I am 5'5", and would kill to be 145. You're a curvy young lady, but I don't think that you should feel self conscious because of that. Curve are VERY feminine and you should embrace them. You've already dropped 20 pounds, and there is no reason to force yourself to be unnaturally/unusually thin. You mentioned that you are still a teenager. Your body is going to continue to shift and change for a few more years as it continues to mature. I understand wanting to be comfortable in your own skin, but I do not see a need to make a mountain out of a mole hill at this point. Stay active, maintain a comfortable weight, but don't make weight loss your goal.

FrenchMob

I am a teenager who is 145 lb at 5'9.5. I have a lot of friends who are like 120 pounds and it makes me feel depressed/sad because I know I will never weigh that little.

I wear a size 4 dress, small to medium top (I have a larger bust so I usually have to go up a size in shirts just for that reason alone) and a size 7-8 in jeans/shorts, I carry a lot of weight in my hips and rear end and the top/back of my thighs otherwise my legs are slim. My stomach is usually quite flat as I drink plenty of water and eat low carb (I have a carb intolerance but also don't like bread, rice, pasta much anyways) but the number really bugs me. I feel unattractive to men at 145 pounds. At my highest I was 165 lb but lost the weight as I have matured (I think it was more puppy fat/baby fat. My doctor is not concerned) I just don't feel very feminine like petite and dainty at my height and especially my weight. I have long legs and arms and I feel like a man.

The current guy interested in me is very open about his weight of 195 lb at 6'0 (he is an athlete so he carries a lot of muscle, you would have no idea he actually weighs close to 200 pounds) but I have been shutting him down and denying him access to me emotionally because I feel as though he deserves a petite, dainty girl which I am not.

I feel stuck and like I am closing doors because of my weight.

So the fact that he's with you doesn't mean anything? I'm sure if he was unhappy with you he wouldn't stick around.
And at 145 for a women that's 5'9", there's nothing wrong with that. And for the record, plenty of men like taller women, including myself.

Galatea_Stone

Don't worry about a number on the scale. You're tall. Your friends are probably a good bit shorter than you, and I'm sure some of them would trade places because they've always wanted to be tall.

I will tell you what I would tell my niece or daughters. You're a beautiful young lady. You have nothing to worry about. Just be you and work to better yourself. Don't compare yourself to others.

corbett51

No.

elpomo

To me, the number on the scale is only a guideline. To be adhered to 100% only if there is a medical issue. There's a big difference between weighing 145lb and having 25% body fat and weighing 155lb and having 13% body fat. One might weigh less but the other looks a whole lot better It seems to me that yours is more a self esteem issue than a weight issue. From a mans perspective, I wouldn't be courting you (or any woman) that I didn't find attractive which obviously your suitor does. We all deserve to be with someone that finds us attractive and that we in turn are attracted to. Good luck!!

Kenazwa

I know the feeling of "everything would be so much different if I were different. Since age 11, I've hated my body. I've been thick and I've been thin but the self-loathing has remained. I don't even know why anymore but am afraid at age 60 I'm beyond fixing the self-image issue. Don't be like me! Realize that the problem isn't your weight or height, it's how you see yourself. Fix that.

Plus your weight is fine for your height. Learn to carry yourself with pride. Nutrition and exercise would be fine to focus on, but only to bring out the best in who you are and how you feel, not to totally change yourself. Find some awesome and accomplished tall women to relate to; don't look at the dainty girls.

Kekibird

Wow, reading this brought back memories. I hit 5'8" with a size 11 shoe by 8th grade and was taller than most of the guys I went to school with. I never felt dainty either and still don't. I have curves and hips and strong thighs.

I think it's more of a mental thing than a weight thing. If you are strong and healthy, don't lose more weight but instead learn to love the body your are in. It's not small and dainty but it's beautiful and strong.

Find something to love about your body and focus on that while learning to love the whole picture. It's hard as a teen but gets easier as an adult.

ColeCake292012

Hon, you're gorgeous, and no you're not "petite" at 5'9 but you look plenty dainty!

Don't shut down a guy because you're assuming what he should be into. ESPECIALLY when you really are way hotter than you're giving yourself credit for. I remember how that feels, and it sucks, but thats where self-confidence has to come in and say "Cut the crap, girl! You're hawt!"

And even if you do have some meat on your thighs, you should be strutting around like Beyonce or something because there's nothing to be ashamed of. I personally LOVE my thighs. Oh and I'm 1/2 a foot shorter than you and a couple pounds heavier. So seriously, quit being so hard on yourself or you're going to miss out on a lot of happiness.

cmoncmonshake

Build muscle, girl! In my opinion, judging from your photo, you do look very feminine and slender. Your height is, of course, not what I'd call "dainty," but more akin to a model stature. It's never fun being the odd-one out, but you can't compare your numbers to those of friends who are 5"3' - of course they carry less weight than you, because they are much smaller in height!

I think your weight for your height is perfect, and if for some reason you feel uncomfortable with your body, you might want to try going to the gym and toning. This is more for physical appearance rather than the number on the scale.

As for the boy - if he is interested in you, then he is, and he thinks you're beautiful just as you are. So if you're interested in him, too, then you should try to overcome this barrier you feel... in the words of Chbosky, "We accept the love we think we deserve."

You deserve to be happy!

BusyRaeNOTBusty

You are tall. You are not ever ever going to be small and dainty. You just aren't. You need to accept that. All women, all people are NOT the same. It would be boring if we were. It's okay to be "bigger" than the average female. That does not make you man-ish in any way. It just makes you bigger than the average female. (And honestly you really aren't that tall, I had a friend in college, female, 6'6")

And yes, 145lbs is perfectly healthy for your height. I am 5'8.75" (If we are getting so exact) and I currently weigh 155lbs and am perfectly healthy and atheistically pleasing to myself and my husband. I find it pretty awesome to be tall and big.

If a man is interested in you, he's interested in you! You don't get to decide what girl he "deserves" or should be with. He likes you. Let him like you.