I lost some weight.

mspoopoo

Let me just say that losing weight really is easy once you find the right thing to do. Last year I was sad, frumpy, lump, and rather bumpy and kind feeling like forest gumpy...life is like a box of chocolates...well except I ate all of them.

Fast forward a month when at the weight of 211 which is approximately the same weight as 1 billion caterpillars, I discovered the whale semen diet. That lasted about a week and I didn't lose anything but almost lost my marriage over that. He was certain I would be having Free Willy's love child, fish, mammal, oh whatever.

Next came the zombie snail diet. For the low low price of $19.99 a month, you will receive a package of fresh zombie snails. You put them on the fatty areas and the slime gets rid of the fat. Simple.

That didn't go over well and nearly lost a leg and my marriage when I slide out the front door nude into the mail man. I suppose you do need wash the snail slime off before running down the stairs to answer the door.

A friend mentioned that exercise would certainly help but who on earth wants to sweat and actually move around more than is necessary. Why do you think dishwashers, drive through ATMs, fast food, and fat jiggling machines were invented?

So I try the left right visualization program. What you do is lie down and imagine your feet moving left and right. Yes, walking without actually walking. It seems to be going ok until I started dreaming about walking in my sleep and ended sleep walking naked to the police station. They weren't amused. A night in the poky and my wallet was also a bit lighter.

So somehow I managed to lose this weight. It remains a mystery to those around me. Some say it was a weight loss spell, some say it was super lipo, but really it turned out to be stop shovelling food in my mouth, you know don't put so much in the feed bag... and exercise.

Here are the results.

DivaKom

Congrat! You look AMAZING, sexy funny Momma!!!!

puffinbrae

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :la

puffinbrae

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

How much does laughing count as exercise??

You done good :flowerforyou:

kirili3

Haha! Great read

Also, well done!

KarmaLaine

You look very beautiful, congrats!

motivatedmartha

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Got it in one - Eat less - move more - 'simple' - not necessarily easy but certainly simple - and saves £££ compared with other diets - good, because money needed for the necessary new clothes.

Congratulations on a fantastic achievement and a great sense of humour :flowerforyou:

in_the_stars

Great post, you look fantastic!

knra_grl

Great job! Congrats on your loss you look awesome!

pyrowill

Let me just say that losing weight really is easy once you find the right thing to do. Last year I was sad, frumpy, lump, and rather bumpy and kind feeling like forest gumpy...life is like a box of chocolates...well except I ate all of them.

Fast forward a month when at the weight of 211 which is approximately the same weight as 1 billion caterpillars, I discovered the whale semen diet. That lasted about a week and I didn't lose anything but almost lost my marriage over that. He was certain I would be having Free Willy's love child, fish, mammal, oh whatever.

Next came the zombie snail diet. For the low low price of $19.99 a month, you will receive a package of fresh zombie snails. You put them on the fatty areas and the slime gets rid of the fat. Simple.

That didn't go over well and nearly lost a leg and my marriage when I slide out the front door nude into the mail man. I suppose you do need wash the snail slime off before running down the stairs to answer the door.

A friend mentioned that exercise would certainly help but who on earth wants to sweat and actually move around more than is necessary. Why do you think dishwashers, drive through ATMs, fast food, and fat jiggling machines were invented?

So I try the left right visualization program. What you do is lie down and imagine your feet moving left and right. Yes, walking without actually walking. It seems to be going ok until I started dreaming about walking in my sleep and ended sleep walking naked to the police station. They weren't amused. A night in the poky and my wallet was also a bit lighter.

So somehow I managed to lose this weight. It remains a mystery to those around me. Some say it was a weight loss spell, some say it was super lipo, but really it turned out to be stop shovelling food in my mouth, you know don't put so much in the feed bag... and exercise.

Here are the results.

Marry me.

elbaldwin0525

WOW! that looks like two different people ...congrats! im a little suspicious however

JustSomeEm

Thanks for my morning laugh. I have a 'breakfast' with some friends of mine I haven't seen in a while this morning, so I'm going to tell them I ordered zombie snails off the internet if the weightloss subject gets brought up. LOL!

And you look absolutely freaking amazingly super fantastic, lady. Way to go.

BekaBooluvsu

You look fabulous! Thanks for posting and the laugh.

blackizbutiful

wow you look so amazing....had me cracking up about the whale sperms lol...wonderful progress

wyattj99

Just amazing! and I love how you told us how you got there!

TX_Rhon

That is awesome. Congrats! :flowerforyou:

Jenn_Lyn1102

Awesome! Way to go!!

fooninie

Your post is awesome! And congrats on your acheiving your goals! I'm still chuckling... :laugh:

_HeartsOnFire_

chasingdreams18

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Got it in one - Eat less - move more - 'simple' - not necessarily easy but certainly simple - and saves £££ compared with other diets - good, because money needed for the necessary new clothes.

Congratulations on a fantastic achievement and a great sense of humour :flowerforyou:

^ THIS

sargessexyone

Absolutely fabulous and just what I needed to read right now :flowerforyou: