Losing The Will To Fight

SkinnyRuthy

Hey, all. I've been a member of MFP since 2011. Since then, I've had two precious little ones. Before I got pregnant with the first of the two, I was so on fire and motivated. Lost over 20lbs in a few months, exercised daily, ate organically & super healthy... I mean, if I didn't get to walk outside, I'd run up and down my stairs to burn calories! It was awesome...the best I've ever been!

Now, a third of the way into 2014, 3 months after my most recent little one was born, I have become apathetic... kind of.

Three weeks ago, the weight loss motivation hit me strong and I put in a lot of effort walking and eating right and dropped almost 10lbs in a week. Considering I'd been eating really high sodium and it was a jump start to my weight loss I wasn't surprised.

What surprised me more was my instantaneous regression. I went into "eat whatever I want" mode and can't seem to break the cycle!!!! I've been doing a squat challenge and have stuck with that for 22 days so far (185 squats to do tonight...ouch!!!), but can't seem to motivate myself to commit to healthy eating and cardio exercise.

Maybe I'm just a worn out mom (I have two older children as well, so 4 altogether...but other moms seem to be able to do it...what's wrong with ME?). I don't know. I guess I need some help, some positive thoughts, some sort of something to help me want to fight again.

Maybe that's just my job, I don't know.
Maybe I should just know better.

But, no matter how much I tell myself the rules or try to force myself to pursue my goals, I don't.

Any thoughts?

Thanks for taking the time to read/comment.

StaciMarie1974

You've got a lot going on - with a new born, a toddler and 2 older kids. Depending on the ages of the older ones, and with summer coming up (my kids finished the school year yesterday but not sure about yours) can you assign a little more responsibility to them to make your load a tiny bit lighter? Such as laundry, dishes, vacuuming, etc.? I'm just thinking that if you can do something like that, you'll have a few more minutes for yourself. Then take one problem area, and make it a priority. Whether its logging everything (regardless of calorie content) or drinking enough water or replacing one snack a day with a veggie snack. And then in 2 weeks, add in another.

You can do this - and its ok if you don't have everything handled at once.

PhatD

First and foremost make sure you're not suffering from depression. Some people's idea of a depressed person is someone walking around with their head hanging down and looking "depressed",not so. Depression effect us in different ways and is different for almost everyone.Four little ones INCLUDING a newborn gives you a lot on your plate.Get checked and if nothing's wrong medically,sit down evaluate and adjust your diet plan ( and know that child birth, hormonal changes, and previos dieting has probably slowed down your momentum and metabolism). It may take a little to get back on track but you're going about it the right way.
Good luck and don't give up.

erelyl

You have a three month old. Your hormones are definitely in flux right now. Your mood, appetite, energy and motivation will all fluctuate as you adjust. Even though you've done it before each new birth can cause your body to go through a totally different experience. I will second PhatD to say check in with your doctor and make sure you aren't suffering from PPD, that can make everything so much harder and it can be helped. Along with that get support from wherever you need it, friends, family, hubby, older kids can all lend a hand and help make a difference. It took a year after i had my kiddo to feel "normal" again, and i was lucky enough to avoid PPD, it was just body weirdness and dealing with a new schedule and all that jazz.

And also, be nice to yourself. Really. Don't go beating yourself up if you aren't on track to where you think you should be. You just had a baby! Enjoy the munchkin, forgive yourself, and find just one small step you can make now and maybe in a week or two you can add to that.

rockerbaby2003

You already know exactly the right things to do. You just have to make it an entire family lifestyle. Take the little ones for a walk/jog, Old Town has childcare while you work out, see if you and a neighbor/friend can swap childcare while you work out every other day. Maybe even take the time to write down your goals of healthy eating and tape them to the cupboards, changing them often to keep your attention. Make a picture of a glass of water with a question mark and tape that to your fridge. While these tricks may seem very silly to you and everyone else in the house, it will be a great visual reminder to make healthier choices. I understand your hormones are definately all over the place, and its difficult keeping up with these little ones, but you do need to find alone time some way some how. Try some yoga, you can borrow my JM yoga DVD if you'd like!

As long as you keep trying every single day that is what counts. If you make a mistake, don't wait to start the next day anew, restart the next minute. Life will continue on, don't beat yourself up but learn from your mistakes and move on. Try wearing something also, I have a bracelet I like to wear, I got it from Kelsey Byers's website, it says Eat Clean and Follow Your Dreams. I wear it on my right wrist so it will catch my eye when I go to eat something and I'll reconsider it.

Something else to keep in mind, it will be very difficult to eat healthy if you are buying empty calories for the kids and have those tempting snacks laying around the house. Discuss it with the family and see if you can all agree to make it a family lifestyle change to go for a walk as a family after dinner at least three times a week, get the junk food out and take the kids out for a treat once a week, ect. IDK if you have a giant family calander with everyone's schedules, but schedule time to be active together as a family, and celebrate successes as a family, such as eating a balanced supper together, maybe write it down in different colored markers. Just different things that you can discuss and try! Text or email me if you'd like to borrow that DVD or maybe go for a walk Saturday morning?

MrsSWW

These are all wise words, take heed of them. You have 4 kids to look after, and the youngest two aren't able to do anything for themselves so it's bound to be time AND mind consuming; most definitely get the older two to take a little responsibility, even if you have to pay for it either in cold hard cash or in treats.

My motivation fluctuates like mad and I have no changes in circumstances, so don't be too hard on yourself, Ruthy, small steps can result in a long distance travelled. Be firm on yourself but also know when to cut yourself some slack. (((hugs))) xxx

Lizzy622

We are here for support. The lack of sleep was my worst enemy. It will get better kinda (different stress as they get older ). Don't be too hard on yourself and stay healthy.

verptwerp

that squat challenge would kill me, no question ....... maybe this isn't the right time for that particular workout ...... and you're probably STARVING after that !

seems like you have a lot of stuff going on, especially with the babies ....... so go easy on yourself

best of luck !

SkinnyRuthy

Thank you, everyone. I really appreciate all the suggestions. I'd say I have circumstantial depression some days...for sure...but, it's not an all consuming sort of things...except on those days...you know, the days when the baby is screaming off and on every 20 min all day long and you're the only one to make her happy, that sort of "Oh my gosh, I can't go anywhere, do anything, I'm literally tethered to my children" sort of down in the dumps, mopey, feeling sorry for myself sort of depression. Not the weird depressed that "my life sucks, it's the end of the world, waaaa"... It's just the exhausting days where I'm depressed that I'm literally too exhausted to put on my tennis shoes and walk for a couple miles. Maybe I'm down because last time I went out and walked for a few miles my 22mo old and 3mo old both screamed and cried for a good 1.5 of those miles. It was absolutely awful. Yes, I can get out sometimes to walk on my own, but for the past 2 weeks, my 3mo old has been nursing on and off a LOT. So, yea. Anyways, I'm blabbing. I should be reaching for bananas, apples, carrots, etc if I need a quick snack, instead, I've been indulging by grabbing for pretzels and chocolate covered raisons, etc. What I have discovered is that I do sort of good with challenges. I once lost 27lbs eating 'clean' so that is my challenge for the month of June. Eat clean. 30 days. See what happens. My husband agreed to do it with me, so, fingers crossed!

biddy249

I think what you need is not "positive advice" but a firm kick in the *kitten*. You either want to be fit or your don't. What is it going to be, you done it before and know how to do it. Nobody is going to take care or you but you. Stop making excuses and decide what you want to do. It is not complicated, just make the call. Good luck with what you decide.

jsalzat

Here's a little something that has helped motivate me on my fitness journey--

The Four R's

REMEMBER the past for experience gained
REFLECT on decisions that may have caused pain
REJECT old thoughts that halt progress today
RENEW your confidence as you go on your way

I wish you the best