Feeling Defeated

TypicalTee

Hey MFP

I jumped back on this months ago for the second time feeling like I could do this again. First time I lost 27lbs and felt I could do it on my own and the second time I just don't know what happened. I could blame it on emotional eating, busy career, not enough me time, and personal life not being a garden of roses, but at the same time all of those things have in common - ME.

I went to a party last night and saw the pictures from it and cried. To be honest I didn't think I had anymore tears left inside.

The last couple weeks have been tough for me to get on here and log and seek the encouragement. I wasn't really seeing much and I think that was the thing that made it easy not to really come on here.

I cannot do this alone and feel like I need to reach out. I need the support, the encouragement, and ideas for snacks, meals, etc. I love to see what others are doing that live a busy life, especially when they cannot get to the gym.

I feel defeated and I have let myself down, but don't want to wallow in self pity. Asking for all of your help

Tosh

KayJaMikel

Hey MFP

I jumped back on this months ago for the second time feeling like I could do this again. First time I lost 27lbs and felt I could do it on my own and the second time I just don't know what happened. I could blame it on emotional eating, busy career, not enough me time, and personal life not being a garden of roses, but at the same time all of those things have in common - ME.

I went to a party last night and saw the pictures from it and cried. To be honest I didn't think I had anymore tears left inside.

The last couple weeks have been tough for me to get on here and log and seek the encouragement. I wasn't really seeing much and I think that was the thing that made it easy not to really come on here.

I cannot do this alone and feel like I need to reach out. I need the support, the encouragement, and ideas for snacks, meals, etc. I love to see what others are doing that live a busy life, especially when they cannot get to the gym.

I feel defeated and I have let myself down, but don't want to wallow in self pity. Asking for all of your help

Tosh

I feel same way, but this site helps me immensely. So, although I am new and do not really have any ideas at the moment, I wanted to say that you can do it!!!

TypicalTee

Thank you for this. Every little bit helps
Welcome to MFP!

fittestpal

The best thing you can do is focus on your goals and don't just "diet". In order to lose weight and keep it off you need to make a change in lifestyle. I understand you can't always go to the gym but 90% of the time you will be able to make healthy decisions regarding what you eat, and your diet is the most important thing. Prepare your food ahead of time. Grill some chicken and portion it out in food saver bags. There are tons of possibilities but it's going to take some prep time. You might have to sacrifice sleeping in on Saturday or Sunday. It will be worth it. I don't recommend eating out a lot because they use a lot of sodium and oil to cook, but most of the time you restaurants have healthy menu options conforming to recent popularity of health conscious people. If you have any questions I'm here for you along with the rest of your fitfam here! Good luck

merryberry99

Please add me if you'd like an additional friend. I'm in a similar situation. Last summer I was so successful, but I put EVERY pound back on and then some. I came back to the site feeling confident that I could shed the weight and get back on track; however, I've been struggling to find supportive friends like the ones I had last summer. I know that losing this weight is all on me, but too often I just feel alone in the journey (even though I have "friends," there's very little interaction). Several times I've thought about abandoning the site bc the lack of support feels counterproductive. I try to like, comment, and support as often as possible, but then get very little support in return. It's disheartening, to say the least.

My current solution is trying to find additional friends who have time for me and aren't just "collecting" friends. It's hard, though.

Sobus76

This isnt the most supportive place i've seen for sure. I personally try to give help/advice that is from my own experience or from factual information i've read, which I dont feel is the norm on here.

Best Advice i can give for MFP is weigh and measure everything you eat and log it. I've found if i can cook a bunch of chicken or something before the work week it makes it so much easier for the rest of the week. i pretty much pre plan every meal for the week, it gets boring sometimes eating the same things, but i know exactly what im eating, and it's easy.

I've also learned to not beat myself up if i go out one night and dont log what i eat, logging food isnt always available if you go to a party and have no idea the caloric values. I just get back on track the next day or when i get home from wherever i was and whatever damage i may have done will be undone.

I also dont shop at specialty stores i.e. whole foods, i eat regular stuff just not as much, i try to find lower calorie options if i can, like fiber one brand cereal snacks, they taste pretty good and are high in fiber.

Also i've found it helps to have goals, and not just weight goals. like my first goal was to get my waist small enough that i could fit into jeans at regular store and not just big and tall.

Good Luck in you journey!

KayJaMikel

I don't know, so far I see tons of support all over this board. I do see some snark though, which makes me sad, but I see 80% support, 20% snark. I wish we had a snark button. I am trying to ignore the 20% snark. Are there more supportive places around the interwebs? I haven't been anywhere else but here.

Branstin

Here is a great place to start:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

You have to have patience.

laciemn

First of all, stop this I saw a picture and cried mentality. You are valuable for other things much more so than your looks...for example, your health!!!

Secondly, everyone takes bad pictures, even the most beautiful attractive people will eventually see a picture where they hate the way they look.

Looks are overrated, period. You'll feel much more confident and happier if you approach yourself in a loving way. Be healthy. Do this for how you want to feel, not just your looks! That's why so many people give up so quickly. None of what we're doing here is worth it if we focus too much on the outside.

Think about it this way. Don't you feel more sympathy for people who genuinely struggle to get the way they are, rather than people who are lazy and focus on making it "seem" they are a certain way? Focus on strength, intelligence, health, and overall well-being. Who cares what you look like, if you are 100% you, 100% healthy, 100% trying every day. People will respect that.

37lbs_to_go

I wish I could give you a big hug. This was quite a wake up call you had. But we've all been there.

Personally I have a CD of pictures from a wedding I attended last August that I've never been able to open. I just know I looked horrible and was the heaviest I've been since having kids. That was one of my wake up calls. Since then I've been slowly chugging and floundering along on my weight loss journey. I've learned to make this work I need to make taking care of myself a priority and have a support network (myfitnesspal). I've also accepted and reaffirm daily that I am responsible for my own happiness (or lack there of).

Once you start taking control back of your life and diet it's a great feeling. One you don't want to give up. You can do this. Here's one of my favorite quotes for motivation

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

DanaDark

Keep that picture as a power tool. Look at it and remind yourself why you are on MFP and what you want.

Let us be honest, there is a good portion of vanity involved in weight loss for many of us. We are human and that is okay. Love our flaws.

From there, If you want some serious help, open your diary, log very accurately (measure with weight, not volume), and get the proper numbers down (TDEE, BMR, loss goals etc.).

Everyone here honestly is out to help everyone else. We tend to be sarcastic and blunt, which doesn't always translate into compassionate on the internet, but it is what it is.

Weight loss is HARD alone. That is why so many people talk to others about it. Very few of us can go for weight loss and not tell a single soul about the struggles and issues.

Best thing you can do, is make pals on here, get involved in the MFP community where you WANT to log in and go on the forums and chat here. That will encourage you to log more often, more accurately, ask for help, etc.