I'm about to cry.....help please....

bpayne78

Ok this might get a little long so bear with me....first some back story......

Back in July I was diagnosed with an inflammatory muscle disorder called Dermatomyositis. When it's flaring, my muscles hurt (not the good "I worked out hard" kind of hurt) to the point that the other day I was limping around because my back hurt so much. Sometimes I walk around like I'm old and decrepit (I'm only 32). Also, because of the muscles hurting, I can't workout. The DM can be treated with Prednisone but that brings it's own issues..... Increased hunger and insomnia. I've been on two Prednisone tapers where I start out at 60 mg for 5 days then take 50 mg for 5 days and going down every 5 days from there until I'm off. I'm having to stare another taper today (#3 now) as my symptoms came back.

Back on 9/16 I got rear ended taking my son to school. My 8 year old and I were both feeling neck pain so we went to get checked out.....he was perfectly fine, my X-rays had issues. Now I'm having to go to a spine specialist to make sure that what was seen on the X-ray and CAT scan is indeed an old wound and isn't going to cause me problems later in life. Plus, I've had to deal with the insurance companies; mine to get my medical bills paid and hers to get my car fixed.

I'm mentally and physically exhausted most of the time. I'm the type of person who eats when I'm emotional and when I'm tired (remember the Prednisone increases appetite and insomnia and I can't workout because of fatigue and muscle pain...... ). I used to have my goal set at a 1 lb loss per week with my activity level set at light as I work in childcare with the preschoolers at my son's after school care 5 days a week. But that calorie goal seemed to be unrealistic.....I just couldn't stick to it and felt hungry all the time. So yesterday I reset it to 1/2 lb loss per week. I only went over by 288 calories yesterday as we had to eat out because of son's basketball tryouts. But today, the scale went up.......yet again. I know my food choices aren't the best.....I know that....I do. But I'm within 200 cals of my goal quite often (some days more) and I keep going up......I'm getting closer and closer to my scale showing 200 lbs and I can't seem to stop it. I'm literally crying as I type this because I just don't know what to do...I want to do different things like try Shakeology for breakfast (to try to get away from my desire for the poptarts and donuts), get the P90X results and recovery for after workouts(when I can do them) to help my muscles out, try other things I've heard about on here and other places but money wise I can't justify spending that kind of money right now.

I just.....don't....know.....what......to......do. I don't always log my food because.....well, I'm not sure why....so opening my diary won't help. Any suggestions that anyone can give me would be greatly appreciated. My doctor who's been treating my DM is referring me out to some one who specializes in only two diseases....Lupus and Dermatomyositis. But my appt with him isn't until 11/9. Oh and I forgot to mention, my family and I have thought that I am hypoglycemic for many years (my sister is Type1 insulin dependent diabetic and my dad, aunt and cousin before he passed are/were Type 2 diabetic) but I've never gotten an official diagnosis.

I'm a hot mess and need help/suggestions.......:sad:

almorrow1s

I'm so sorry you are feeling overwhelmed. I've been on steriods in the past as well, and I know the hunger that comes with them. One thing I can tell you about that might help: if you have an iphone, there is a myfitnesspal application that is free, and that helps me to track my food since I can't be around a computer all day long to log my food.
Also, and some people might disagree with me, sometimes you just need a break, and it sounds like you do. Take a few days to not worry about working out or look at the scale and focus on getting your back where it needs to be. Rely on your family to help make meals that are healthy, hopefully they can step up to the plate. I really hope it gets better for you bpayne78.

NatureRunnerGirl

You should really try the south beach diet. I lost 30 lbs on it very quickly. I am now trying to get back on it since I had my son. The book is a very easy read and is only about half of the book. The rest is recipes. I love this diet because you can start out eating as much as you want so you are never hungry. You just need to eat the right foods.
Good luck to you!
Sincerley, Caryn.

MaryBeth1989

I'm sorry to hear your having such a hard time! I read your entire post and I'm not sure my suggestions will help but I certainly hope so. I'm sure your meds side effects make eating healthy and under a certain number of calories frustrating. Also having a young child with their own wants for food. I try to eat a lower calorie cereal for breakfast with skim milk. It's not expensive but it does the trick for a lot of people. I don't know much about DM but if your meds leave you hungry what are you snacking on? Or are you eating larger portions at breakfast, lunch, and dinner?
Having healthy snack bar can be and alternative to poptarts. I really hope your specialist can give you more insight on the 9th. Please keep me posted and know that if you ever need to talk I'm around.

missyhse

I'm sorry to hear you are going through so much! Stress can cause weight gain, water retention, etc. on its own, even without overeating, and especially if you aren't eating the right nutrients. I have a friend with DM who was recently able to complete a 5K after doing a complete diet overhaul. Do you take any suppliments? That might be something to look into with your doc. I've read that meditation can really help...

Amber030583

i am so sorry to hear this. Have you tried doing yoga by chance? Maybe the stretching would help alleviate some of your discomfort? Also for the food issue Try getting celery, carrots and whatever else that you can take home cut up and put in ziploc bags for a quick munchie fix. This way you can eat more (to help with the cravings) But aren't getting the unhealthy part of snacking on crap. I was just on prednisone a couple weeks ago and it was horrible so I feel your pain. Also, try keeping gum on you. That would possibly help with the need to munch. Those are my suggestions.

Lulu2929

I understand your frustration, I have a simular history, It's so frustrating because it seems that no matter what you do - you don't get any better and the pain makes you feel so depressed. Yes, I tool looked to food for comfort. For me, the hardest part was finding a sypathetic soul to be able to vent to. i think a lot of people thought I was crazy because I look so healthy. I always felt like i was a whiner. I went undiagnosed for many years and I am now finally feeling better. I understand your frustration with doctors, prednisone (hate it) and our wonderful insurance system. Just keep on looking for help, Seek and you shall find, Don't be afraid to try alternative therapies - just keep searching. If you need to cry - do it, sometimes it makes us feel better. After a good cry, dry your tears, summon the best attitude you can and move forward. I wish I could give you a big hug and tell you it will be alright. Please feel free to friend me if you want, you can always vent to me. I will understand.

bpayne78

I'm sorry to hear you are going through so much! Stress can cause weight gain, water retention, etc. on its own, even without overeating, and especially if you aren't eating the right nutrients. I have a friend with DM who was recently able to complete a 5K after doing a complete diet overhaul. Do you take any suppliments? That might be something to look into with your doc. I've read that meditation can really help...

My doc has me taking a Vit D/Calcium supplement while I'm on the Prednisone and I also take extra Botin because I have weak nails. What kind of diet overhaul did your friend do?

tigertchr23

I'm sorry to hear about all of the negative things that have been happening to you. The best thing I can suggest is to try to stay away from carbs . . . especially processed carbs. Add more protein and fruits/veggies into your diet and drink nothing but water. This is what worked for me when nothing else would. When I track my food I go over on Protein and sometimes sugars (as fruit has a lot of natural sugars but they are better than refined sugars).

Do you think you are not good at tracking your food because you are embarassed about what you are eating? If so, you have the power to change that. I know it is not easy and it is not something that you can change instantly or over night. Set small goals for yourself to accomplish. For example, this week you could focus on your snacks. Instead of grabbing crackers/chips/granola bar etc. grab an apple or baby carrots instead. Then the next week work on breakfast. Plan ahead -- this is what usually gets people off track . . . in a hurry and just need "something" so a donut, bagel, etc. is fast. You could make hard boiled eggs head of time and keep them in the fridge. Grab 2-3 in the morning and have it with some fruit or maybe some yogurt. Remember: If you are not having a lot of carbs in your diet then you can get away with having more fats (nuts/cheese/eggs).

Then once you feel comfortable with your breakfast, work on your lunches. Instead of having a sandwich . . . put your meat on a bed of lettuce or if you like tuna fish make it with some light mayo or mayo made w/ olive oil, add in some pickles, and sprinkle on some pepper . . . instead of putting it on bread, put it on celery sticks. Pair it with a sliced apple and 1-2 tablespoons of peanut butter. Then after you are comfortable with your lunches then focus on dinner.

Again, pick a lean protein (fish/chicken/steak) and pair it with veggies. Do you have a George Foreman grill or something similar? In the morning, take your meat out of the freeezer and put it in the refrigerator to thaw. When you get home, just throw it on the grill -- maybe even add some onions on top for flavor. Then steam or microwave fresh vegetables to go with it. Or you could grill or bake up meat on Sundays and put them in Tupperware for the week so you would just need to microwave it. Then for dessert make some sugar free Jello/pudding, or have some yogurt with fresh fruit (Or there are low carb treats in the freezer section at the grocery store). Then all you need to work on is your water intake. Replace one of your normal drinks (coffe/soda, etc.) with a glass of water . . . each week increase it to one more until you are taking in a minimum of 8 glasses per day.

I know you are really frustrated right now and you want instant results (as does everyone, especially in our "need it now" society) but remember you didn't get where you are in one night or even one week. So, take it slow . . . one day at a time . . . one meal at a time. I promise if you take the time to change your eating you will feel better about the choices you make . . . will feel healthier and in turn happier. I would be honored to be your friend if you would let me. I hope this information is helpful and not hurtful (I know sometimes when we are down we can take advice the wrong way . . . please know all of my intentions are good).

I think you made a good choice today by sharing your feelings and reaching out for help. We are all here for the same reason you are and we all want to be successful -- let us help you be a success. :flowerforyou:

bspz

While I have no experience with health issues like yours, I do have lotsof experience with the battle with the scale. Your health is most important so,it sounds like the steroids are unavoidable. That to me is an important point: this is not your fault! Guilt is a huge trigger for emotional eaters like us. Each day is an opportunity to change for us. While you are battling the side effects of the medications you are taking, acknowledge all you are going through. You face a larger hurdle and really need to try to stay positive in order to overcome them. With that said, maybe find a treat or snack that you can use as a reward at the end of the day. For me, having a cup of coffee or tea with falvored creamer and a 100 caloried pudding cup is a great sweet treat. If you have a day whenyou stay within your calories, reward yourself! It may give you something to look forward to.

As far as diet shakes go, I know they work for some people. For me, I do well for the first few days then crash and find myself eating to make up for lost time. Depriving yourself may be setting yourself up for failure. I find that once something is off limits for me, I want it more and more. Fill your kitchen with fesh fruits & veggies. Cut them up so they are readily availble when you need to snack. It will set a good example for your 8 year old as well.

I find when I am in the emotional eating zone, I need a distraction. Maybe a favorite video game, this may sound stupid but playing Texas Hold Em or bejeweled onthe computer for 10 minutes or so can be a good distraction. For me it's a good changeof pace and can even change my mood. Maybe play a board game with your child. A few minutes with a good book or gossip magazine may help too. I know a lot of people find this escape in exercise but for now, that's not an option for you.

I wish you well and hope you know you are not alone. Your circumstances are unique but your feelings, struglles and frustration are fammilar with so many of us. The good news is that you can do it. be patient with yourself. Slow and steady wins the race, allow yourself time. Good luck! :flowerforyou:

IbettR

My heart cries for you, B, :ohwell: and you can get through it. I;d like to offer you my friendship and support. :flowerforyou: Feeling anxiety and side effects is not your fault, and although it's not what you want to see on the scale right now, please try to not be too upset with yourself knowing that some of that is due to your conditions/medications. MFP guidelines are nothing but that. It's here to help us understand what we should be watching out for, what to stay away from, and to get the support from others who really and truly understand you like no one else may be able to. It's not written in stone, and if you go over or under, here and there, please don't let that discourage you. :noway: I'm here for you. :smooched: I'm here to listen. You're beautiful, you have to take care of yourself, so you can continue to care for your family as well. I came in so quickly to reply to you, that I didn't even see your page to see what state or location you're in, :embarassed: but can I encourage you to please contact the Univ of Common Sense in LA, California (as silly as the name sounds) at (800) 527-5682? And request a telephone consultation with Tim Morrow or an educated rep that can guide you in the right direction, or feel free to look him up on YouTube and listen to his info. first.

To summarize what I'm recommending here: it's a natural alternative to prescriptions (to try to avoid all the side effects you're feeling, the success of a 100% recovery from your illnesses, and to later focus on a healthy weight loss). ♥ I live in South Florida, I'm just a customer of theirs because I prefer alternative medicine, and I'm from LA and learned from them there, and they mail me my orders, I'm not a spokesperson for them :noway: or anything like that.

But since I have faith in it (ever since my brother was cured from Diabetes for 10+ years as a result of their guidance, and my mother is now recovered from hereditary infections in her ankles). As a friend, I'd like the best for you, :smooched: and would never want to hold back on what I find to be a gem ♥ If you're not interested, that's cool.

But most importantly, I'd like to offer you a shoulder to cry on, and an ear to listen. Be strong, be patient, and don't steer away from MFP. We're here for you, ok. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ :flowerforyou: :smooched:

Joyjmb

Prednisone had opposite affect on me - my tongue became coated in 'chemically glue' and I couldn't taste anything. Also slightly nauseated, so I didn't eat much at all.

The only suggestions I have are to be good to yourself - treat yourself as you would someone you were taking care of.

*Get as much sleep as you can.
*Don't worry about 'working out' - but get outside and walk every day if you can. It's restorative and there's fresh air.
*Stretch or do 10 minutes of yoga a day, and BREATHE - stress and shallow breathing will curl you up!
*Eat COLORS - the more color your food has, the more healthy. Think of all the good orange food available right now!

There's a British saying I love - 'Keep calm and carry on.'
Just focus on the one thing in front of you. You can accomplish this one thing.
And then move on to the next thing. With a level head.
I will be thinking about you!