Getting Started at 475 lbs - Day One
geminirooster2013
Posts: 7
It seems like getting started is often the hardest part. I've known for quite awhile that I needed to do this, but I've learned, for many including myself, the first step of acknowledging that it is my problem to deal and it needs to be dealt with is a step that is seldom reached.
But I didn't just reach this step by being forced. I literally said to myself "Why are you fat?" Have you ever asked yourself that question? Sure, a lot of things poured through my mind - my depression, my disability, my family, my friends, my lack of willpower and control - and then it dawned on me.
I'm fat because I love delicious food and I hate exercise.
Go ahead, let that sink in a minute. Do you identify? I'm not saying that there aren't contributing forces to everyone being overweight, but to a certain level, doesn't the locus of control really rest on ourselves? Being morbidly obese we tend to give our own power away to other people. We are viewed, and thus view ourselves as, hinderances, something we need to apologize for.
"I'm so sorry for bumping into you with my fat belly."
"Excuse me, pardon me."
"Sorry, these seats are kind of cramped."
It's to the point where we seldom even make eye contact for fear that we may be an afront to their day somehow. How many times have you ate out at a restaurant and ate less than you wanted to because you were afraid of what the other people might think of you? I know my answer is "all the time."
So in a culture where we shed our own power off like a snake's skin - how do we finally start approving who we are?
By accepting what we have become and how we have become it.
The answers, for each of us, may be different - but we must work to find our own truth. Our own contribution for how we ended up where we are. Until we are able to do that, I believe, we will be unable to attain our goals - because in order to do so means executing control over ourselves. If the things that contribute to our obesity are out of our control, than how can we presume to execute control over them?
Today was the first day of the rest of my life. It began like any other but ended with a different perspective. I ate unhealthy food - but stayed under my calorie goals. I set out to walk for five minutes and did so, but also cleaned for awhile an cooked dinner. While I was cooking dinner, I never once stood still. I walked laps around our island while I waited for the next step.
Why was I able to do that? Because I realized that my laziness was under my control. Yes I have a problem with my feet, but it doesn't entirely preclude me from walking. So I will do what I can when I can and how I can. That falls on me.
I am reminded of when I was in college. I was a music major until I switched to my ultimate major. My focus was Piano. I practiced my piano for five hours per day. Did I do it all at one? Heck no. I'd do it for a half hour here, a half hour there. Every time I'd walk past my piano I'd stop and work on it for a little while.
Why did I work so hard on something? It's not because I was required to - I could have passed my classes with half as much practicing - it's because I loved it. I wanted to become more skilled at tickling the ivories. I wanted to hear the beautiful music I could make through my own learned skill.
So too am I at the point of exercise. I'm incapable of doing the amounts of exercise I used to be able to do - but I am going to push myself to do as much as I am capable of. Instead of focusing on my incapabilities, I will focus on my capabilities because I have finally figured out what it is I love:
Myself.
But I didn't just reach this step by being forced. I literally said to myself "Why are you fat?" Have you ever asked yourself that question? Sure, a lot of things poured through my mind - my depression, my disability, my family, my friends, my lack of willpower and control - and then it dawned on me.
I'm fat because I love delicious food and I hate exercise.
Go ahead, let that sink in a minute. Do you identify? I'm not saying that there aren't contributing forces to everyone being overweight, but to a certain level, doesn't the locus of control really rest on ourselves? Being morbidly obese we tend to give our own power away to other people. We are viewed, and thus view ourselves as, hinderances, something we need to apologize for.
"I'm so sorry for bumping into you with my fat belly."
"Excuse me, pardon me."
"Sorry, these seats are kind of cramped."
It's to the point where we seldom even make eye contact for fear that we may be an afront to their day somehow. How many times have you ate out at a restaurant and ate less than you wanted to because you were afraid of what the other people might think of you? I know my answer is "all the time."
So in a culture where we shed our own power off like a snake's skin - how do we finally start approving who we are?
By accepting what we have become and how we have become it.
The answers, for each of us, may be different - but we must work to find our own truth. Our own contribution for how we ended up where we are. Until we are able to do that, I believe, we will be unable to attain our goals - because in order to do so means executing control over ourselves. If the things that contribute to our obesity are out of our control, than how can we presume to execute control over them?
Today was the first day of the rest of my life. It began like any other but ended with a different perspective. I ate unhealthy food - but stayed under my calorie goals. I set out to walk for five minutes and did so, but also cleaned for awhile an cooked dinner. While I was cooking dinner, I never once stood still. I walked laps around our island while I waited for the next step.
Why was I able to do that? Because I realized that my laziness was under my control. Yes I have a problem with my feet, but it doesn't entirely preclude me from walking. So I will do what I can when I can and how I can. That falls on me.
I am reminded of when I was in college. I was a music major until I switched to my ultimate major. My focus was Piano. I practiced my piano for five hours per day. Did I do it all at one? Heck no. I'd do it for a half hour here, a half hour there. Every time I'd walk past my piano I'd stop and work on it for a little while.
Why did I work so hard on something? It's not because I was required to - I could have passed my classes with half as much practicing - it's because I loved it. I wanted to become more skilled at tickling the ivories. I wanted to hear the beautiful music I could make through my own learned skill.
So too am I at the point of exercise. I'm incapable of doing the amounts of exercise I used to be able to do - but I am going to push myself to do as much as I am capable of. Instead of focusing on my incapabilities, I will focus on my capabilities because I have finally figured out what it is I love:
Myself.
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Replies
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Congratulations on your fresh start! I wish you the best in this journey - hoping you find a healthier and happier you! :flowerforyou:0
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It's going to be a long and often difficult journey but you have taken the first step toward a happier, healthier life
Good luck. Stay strong!0 -
I honestly believe that you have overcome the biggest hurdle there is.
The rest is difficult but definitely possible.
My favorite quote that perfectly relates to weight loss is "don't let perfect be the enemy of good." You don't have to do everything in a perfect manner, sometimes good enough is all it takes.
Just keep it very simple. Focus on the caloric deficit like you did today. And the walk today was perfect. Do that for a week or so and once you are comfortable add a minute or two.0 -
Great post. Good luck in your journey for a healthier happier you.0
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This was just so awesome to read. I think you should copy and paste it into a blog. Check on your homepage at the top and you'll see "my blog" - go for it!0
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Congratulations and welcome to the first day of your new life!
You have done brilliantly. That little bit of movement and calorie deficit is all it takes now that you have made that huge and all important conclusion about how you got here and what you can do about it. More importantly, as you pointed out, you are at the stage where you want this now and I believe that you can do it. It won't happen quickly, which I'm sure is the same as when you first learnt to play the piano, but you became a master at that and this is the same. Tiny, baby steps and the longer you do it, I think you will be a master at this too!
To start with, every day will be a new challenge, but also another achievement. You can do this! I can't wait to be reading "Started at 475 and look at me now!" :flowerforyou:
P.S. As Chani8 suggested, start a blog. 0 -
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Go you! You are so brave & I look forward to sharing your journey with you!
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Even though I started at a different point from yours, I can relate to a few sentences.
Why did I gain weight in first place? Because I loved (over)eating and because I disliked exercising.
Also, the more I got into that mindset, the more I felt like detaching myself from healthy habits. I was making everything worse.
It just takes a little step at a time.
I still love eating - I just started eating a bit less. I'm still enjoying that "less food" I'm having, and learning how to deal with it. I still hate feeling tired, so I started with easy, manageable exercises (I was extremely unfit when I started, I would feel tired just walking for shopping). Now I can manage to run for a bit or lift some weights! Just do whatever feels okay to you. Don't be afraid to take small steps. They're all part of a bigger plan.0 -
I can identify with a lot of what you say. I look forward to walking this journey along side you.0
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It's so true. Really encouraging post. It's starting that is the hardest part. Today is tough but I know tomorrow I will be one step towards being slimmer than I was today;0:))
We are in control of what we put in our mouth. At a very basic level as Paul McKenna says; eat less and exercise more and you will lose weight. I can control both those things - I've just been too lazy to do anything about it.
I have just started today too. I stopped procrastinating and got up and did a DVD low impact exercise workout.
Keep it up. Go you!
PS Zen habits is a great blog to keep you on track for a little step at a time.0 -
Congratulations! I hope you will achieve your goals!
Try your best to eat homemade food that you will cook FROM SCRATCH whether it is a proper meal, or a desert. You'll be able to track your ingredients that way. It WILL come out more expensive which will sort of force you to indulge rarer and also make you appreciate food more. And you will also become a better cook! Give up buying chocolate and start buying ingredients to make the chocolate. It'll be fun, even if it doesn't come out right the first few times! Practice makes perfect, don't forget! Fall 7 times, get up 8!0 -
I am really excited for you and I hope that, even when you have rough days, you'll always remember how you decided to change your life today.
I didn't have the same starting weight as you, but I can tell you that making a commitment to take care of myself was the most challenging thing I ever did. We can commit to others, to our jobs, but somehow it's easier to cheat on ourselves.
From my personal experience, I found that the journey itself isn't that hard, once you learn to see the results for what they are. You don't always have to lose weight to lose inches around your waist (which is infinitely better). You don't always have to be perfect and you're allowed to make mistakes. You just need to forgive yourself for any wrongdoing and get on track as soon as possible.
And also, if you have trouble logging your calories accurately at first, this is also normal and it will get better once the site starts to keep track of what you had in the past. You can also start adding your own stuff to the database, which will make it a lot easier in the long run. I used to spend a lot of time just tracking the stuff I ate, now I can do it in a few seconds.
Good luck! We're here for you if you need us!0 -
Congratulations on this wonderful start to your journey of healthier. I went through the same soul searing recently. You are amazing and I wish you the best of luck!0
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The most difficult part of losing weight is accepting your responsibility in the process, the next is not allowing yourself to make excuses for why you're not doing what you know you need to do. You have taken those two very important steps, and by doing that, you have opened the door to a happier and healthier life. I know you can do it!
Keep it simple, take small steps forward and keep it up
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Well done, I'm looking forward to sharing your progress.0
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Great post. You can do this, just keep going. I wish you all the best0
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Welcome and good luck! Just remember, its one day at a time. I have 85 pounds left to lose. I log daily, feel free to add me as a friend if you want.0
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Wishing you the best and can't wait to share your journey with you.0
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It will not be easy, but well worth it. Congratulations and try to stay motivated.0
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Your post is so inspiring 0
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301-227 and still going. Here for 1030 days. Check out my profile see if we are a good friend match. I've got so interested in all this I am enrolling for a health science degree. As long as your motivated I'm very happy to help!
Zara x
I've done this with a disability, depression, anxiety, leaving a very unhealthy relationship, liver tumors and 3/4 of my liver removed, had huge family problems and a binge eating disorder. Through determination you CAN beat all the odds! X0 -
One day at a time. Some days are better than others. Your self awareness is your greatest strength, it is the greatest strength we all have on my fitness pal. Log everything, good or bad, and good or bad you will see progress. Good luck and keep us all posted.0
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How inspiring this was to read and recognise many of the things you said. I know you are going to succeed in your goal because your head is in the right place. You know why you are 475lbs, you are honest with yourself and you are determined to do it. It is about doing what you can and not allowing the things you can't do stop you. You will be amazed as you progress how many of those things you can't do at the moment you will be able to do. How life will be less difficult and how you will feel so much better both physically and mentally
I wish you good luck and success in your long journey, but then you don't need the good luck do you, you have already achieved the most difficult part of it - starting.0 -
Way to go on taking the first step!! Today is day one for me as well! If you need someone to motivate you or just to talk to through this journey, message me! I have a love of food that outweighs my love of the gym lol I am working on making healthier choices, though and would love to have a friend on that journey.0
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welcome ! great job on getting started !0
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Congratulations on making that first step and I wish you all the luck in the world. This site is a great find. I didnt believe I could lose weight, didnt believe I could do diets and I have been amazed and encouraged by the results. I have done no more than move a little more and ensure that I make my cal goal (and logged accurately) and the weight has steadily dropped a lb a week, like the numbers said they would!!! Read the sexypants link and keep plugging away. I am sure you will achieve your goal. Oh and if you dont play at the moment, I recommend refinding your musical happiness! When your head is in a happy place it is easier to control emotional / boredom eating... plus when hands are busy you are not nibbling! Feel free to friend me.0
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Congratulations! This is the first step and i look forward with sharing your journey to a healthier you.0
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This was such an inspiring getting started post! My best piece of advice is learning to deal with the setback and there will be lots of them! Some weeks you'll gain a pound, sometimes you'll go a few days without exercising, sometimes you'll eat a few too many donuts. What really helped me was to truly see every new day as a new opportunity to be awesome and to work towards your goal. I'm still working on seeing every hour or minute as a new opportunity to get it right.Time will pass by whether you lose weight or not. Even though it will take a few years, it will be so worth it. Good luck!0
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