Fortune Cookie - Need Help

doris_day

I belong to a dinner club. There are 6 couples and we rotate to each home every two months. We've been together for almost 12 years! Boy do I have stories from our group. Three of the couples have cheated on their spouse, two have remarried and their new spouse is in the group. One was tried but not convicted of a class D Felony!!

Some of the group are conservative, one is crazy conservative, one couple is fairly liberal, we are Switzerland, and it makes for totally fascinating dinner club conversations. One couple owns a mansion, one couple has a little ranch house (that would be me), and everyone gets along really well. - Except for one husband who is a total *kitten* and treats his lovely wife like crap - but we all tolerate him because she has made the decision to stay with him.

Usually there is a ton of alcohol involved. Doesn't this sound like the most fun dinner club ever?


ANYWAY - the next dinner club is at my home. I'm making home-made Chinese food. (low sodium and no msg) I'd like to make my own fortune cookies that are funny but can be naughty. It's expected really from our home - we are typically viewed as the 'wild couple'. hee hee.

Here are some idea's - but I'd love to hear other ideas. I need 12 fortunes. Fortune cookies are only 30 calories!

1. It wasn't chicken.

2. Two hands pull harder than one

3. If you think your life is stupid, try writing fortunes for fortune cookies as a career.

4. Don't eat crack

5. HELP - I'm trapped in their kitchen.

6. You'll get lucky tonight.

7. Those pants make your *kitten* look big.



Please reply with some of your ideas.

Lady_C_the_1st

Something funny I saw on a tea towel, In washing machines no one can hear you scream. :-)

RoadDog

"You are the crunchy noodle in the vegetarian salad of life."

"You will soon get unexpected kisses in unexpected places."

"Never wear your best pants when you go to fight for freedom."

kiragami

"Your get up and go, got up and went" My mom always says this

therobinator

"What happens at dinner club stays at dinner club."

Or try to come up with things that will be extra, extra funny/dirty when you add "in bed" to the end of them - you know that game, right?

Gogo76

"He who throws dirt is losing ground"

"Your colon will self destruct in 5 mins" :embarassed:

"Beauty lies in the eye of the beer holder" :drinker:

"The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it."- Anne Bancroft