Restarting - A new commitment

MeltingCandlewax

Hi all,
I am not new here and I have been here for about 2 years. The first 5 months I was here I really lost about 50 pounds, when I got down to 50 I somehow through up a mental block I think (usually in my life it happens around 40 pounds). After the first 5 months I was a total yoyo. after that 5 months I totally gained some and lost and so forth. The real crap started around my birthday this last year, family hurt in a car wreck and had to deal with that and go to them leaving my family at home, then after coming home having to go back and dealing with the fall out from that. Then back in march having a hysterectomy this year, and it seems since then I have lost a couple and gained back a lot. So after my surgery my nerve in my leg hurts,
a frontal some kind of nerve, the neurologist says I aggressively need to lose weight to make that nerve feel better cause it is pinched by my fat. I found a groupon and decided to try out a fitness bootcamp. (starting this june 2) I asked him if I can do it cause my leg hurts. He encouraged it.
Memorial day was fun though total eat fest. So now here we are today......

I knew it was bad, because I feel it in every ounce of my body. I am the heaviest I have been in two years since I started my weight loss journey. It is like starting completely over today. That said, I have a doctors appointment today, which is blah anyway, my clothes aren't fitting right or well. All I can say is I am to blame, and I realize this is just bad and so not acceptable.

Time to kick the bullpooh stressful emotional and boredom eating. Sorry to rant this morning, Up to this point I am not always logging accurately or not at all. Because it is so bad.

So should you read this and want to comment on my diary- please don't cause up to now it is bull pooh.
However today I restarting with new commitment, and starting this fitness bootcamp on Monday (june2).

Looking for friends who can be supportive and who can kick my butt when need too. I am fine with being criticized but please be constructive criticism, cause nastiness doesn't really help anyone. (plus I can get that from my family)


Truth be told, I think I am posting this more for my own benefit so, I can deal with it, so feel free not to read this, comment if you would like, but you don't need to comment on my diary as of today. Thanks. Hope everyone has a great day.