Husband is losing too much weight

My husband is 67 years old, a former sheet metal worker with cardiomyopathy (weakening of the heart muscle). He is 6'1" and weighed around 200 before he got sick, 9 years ago. Five years ago he started losing weight drastically and dropped down to less than 140. The doctor told him to "stop losing weight." Big help. The nurse suggested drinking Ensure Plus 3 X day. We did this for about 6 months, along with regular meals, no dieting, just the stuff we normally ate. He slowly gained back some of the weight and stabilized at 158.

I am 59 years old, 5'7", and have been overweight most of my adult life (highest non-pregnant weight was 194). By following low fat/calorie diet most of the time, I lost about 20 pounds. I maintained the 172-178 range for the past several years, but still had a big belly. Last fall my son introduced me to the idea of grain-free diet. I started reading and listening to various podcasts, and then decided to give it a try. I cut out wheat and sugar from my diet. I've since lost another 20 pounds (in only 4 months, not 4 years this time) and I've gone down 4 notches on my belt, for the first time since before I had babies, 25 years ago. Yeah!

I do all the cooking, and he likes the food I cook, eats decent amounts at meals. But he had started losing weight again. He is now at 138, which makes him way too skinny, not just thin. He looks like he is starving, but says he feels fine.

I've tried adding in rice and potatoes to his meals, extra butter and olive oil, peanut butter, etc. He is still losing weight. I want to lose another 10 pounds. I wish I could give it to him! I just don't know what to do to help him reach a decent. weight. We are not in a good financial situation and cannot afford the Ensure Plus (plus it isn't real food anyway). I need some ideas for him that won't sabotage my own results.

I haven't used the food tracker here (I sometimes use one on SparkPeople), but here is an example of what we eat:

Breakfast:
2-3 eggs cooked in butter or olive oil
Sauteed or roasted vegetables
Fruit

Lunch:
6-8 oz chicken (pork or beef)
Salad with vegetables and olive oil vinaigrette

Dinner
6-8 oz chicken (pork or beef)
Sauteed and/or roasted vegetables
Sweet potato with butter

Snacks:
Roasted nuts, like pecans and almonds, and seeds, like pumpkin and sunflower (I do the roasting)
Cookies made with honey, not sugar, and a non-wheat flour, like almond flour or oat flour
Cheddar cheese sticks (I cut the cheese into sticks myself)
Fruit and Yogurt or Cottage cheese

Replies

  • CipherZero
    CipherZero Posts: 1,418 Member
    Losing weight unexpectedly in spite of increasing calories is one of the markers for cancer. Doctor time.
  • EchoOfYourPast
    EchoOfYourPast Posts: 459 Member
    He definitely needs to go see a doctor.

    San :)
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
    He needs to be eating higher calorie foods. You're trying to lose weight so that's one thing, but his diet needs to contain the high calorie foods that you avoid, including grains and sugar, but also a good amount of fat. Pizza, hamburgers, etc.

    Oh, and yes, he should probably talk to a doctor.
  • Wetcoaster
    Wetcoaster Posts: 1,788 Member
    And why have you not seen a doctor?
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    Losing weight unexpectedly in spite of increasing calories is one of the markers for cancer. Doctor time.

    This.

    Doctor. Now.
  • ew_david
    ew_david Posts: 3,473 Member
    Losing weight unexpectedly in spite of increasing calories is one of the markers for cancer. Doctor time.

    X100000000
  • jward199
    jward199 Posts: 7
    His doctor said "Stop losing weight." Since this current bought of losing weight for him started when I changed the way I eat (and cook), I'm pretty sure it is because of that. I can start buying bread, bagels, and muffins again, I guess. For a while he snacked on store-bought cookies, but he no longer likes them (fake food). It is a real dilemma for me, since he mainly eats what I serve him.
  • HerkMeOff
    HerkMeOff Posts: 1,002 Member
    His doctor said "Stop losing weight." Since this current bought of losing weight for him started when I changed the way I eat (and cook), I'm pretty sure it is because of that. I can start buying bread, bagels, and muffins again, I guess. For a while he snacked on store-bought cookies, but he no longer likes them (fake food). It is a real dilemma for me, since he mainly eats what I serve him.

    When was the last time he went to the doctor?
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    His doctor said "Stop losing weight." Since this current bought of losing weight for him started when I changed the way I eat (and cook), I'm pretty sure it is because of that. I can start buying bread, bagels, and muffins again, I guess. For a while he snacked on store-bought cookies, but he no longer likes them (fake food). It is a real dilemma for me, since he mainly eats what I serve him.

    I guess I don't see the dilemma. Serve him higher calorie foods. It's his health at stake. It seems like the "fake food" thought process you're setting up here is harming him. There's nothing wrong with store bought cookies, pizza, bread, etc. especially for someone who needs to stop losing weight.
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    He needs to be eating higher calorie foods. You're trying to lose weight so that's one thing, but his diet needs to contain the high calorie foods that you avoid, including grains and sugar, but also a good amount of fat. Pizza, hamburgers, etc.

    Oh, and yes, he should probably talk to a doctor.

    All of this.
  • LiftHeavyWeights
    LiftHeavyWeights Posts: 336 Member
    Get another doctor's opinion. A dietitian could give you more options.
  • MichelleB69
    MichelleB69 Posts: 213 Member
    Time for a NEW doctor! I can't believe that's the only advice that was given. When was the last time he saw his regular doctor? The fact that he has underlying medical issues & CONTINUES to lose weight is very worrisome…I weigh 138 and I'm 5'6", I can't imagine that weight on a healthy 6 ft male. Regardless of whether or not he feels fine, he needs to be seen, pronto. Please, please get him an appt ASAP.
  • missiontofitness
    missiontofitness Posts: 4,059 Member
    He really needs to speak to a doctor about the weight loss. He is a dangerously low weight for his height.
    If it is, knock on wood, not due to cancer, or any medical issues that are preventing him from gaining weight properly, I really think that leaving the cooking up to each of you is a good idea. If that is not an issue, he should seriously be loading up his plate, or snacking throughout the day to meet his calorie goals.

    He needs a much higher calorie intake than you do, and he may not be getting it with the portions that he is currently getting.
  • bevmcarthur
    bevmcarthur Posts: 341 Member
    i m not a Doctor .But any male that is that tall and weights 138 lbs can not be fine. Like other are saying i think its time to find a new Doctor. And by taking gluten out of his diet that really shouldn't make him lose that much. And as far as your diet you should really try adding good fats to your day like coconut oil in stead of butter and olive oil is great for dressings but not food for cooking at high temps and avocados ,nut and ,almond butter and maybe another fruit and more veggies to me for your hight and weight that really isn't enough calories .
  • Mr_Bad_Example
    Mr_Bad_Example Posts: 2,403 Member
    Bah, why seek out medical advice from multiple doctors when you can consult with people on an internet forum? I'm sure you'll find the answer here, right.

    Seriously. Stop ****ing around and force this man to get a complete work-up.
  • Edmond_Dantes
    Edmond_Dantes Posts: 185 Member
    Agree with previous posters. Please make sure something serious isn't being overlooked. At the very least he needs to be seen by a doc for a thorough physical exam, blood work including complete blood count with differential, chemistry panel (looks at electrolytes, kidney and liver function among other things) and at least a chest xray.

    Does your husband have a smoking history?
  • Chieflrg
    Chieflrg Posts: 9,097 Member
    When I turned 40 I started loosing weight rapidly and I wasn't overweight. My doctor ignored this siting that it probably had something to do with a disease I was dx with previously. I argued with him as well as the nurse practitioner for about a month before he finally gave in and had me see a specialist. I had late stage cancer. I wouldn't be here today if I didn't get checked out as I felt fine, but I was having many signs.

    Please have hubby go get checked.
  • Keepcalmanddontblink
    Keepcalmanddontblink Posts: 718 Member
    His doctor said "Stop losing weight." Since this current bought of losing weight for him started when I changed the way I eat (and cook), I'm pretty sure it is because of that. I can start buying bread, bagels, and muffins again, I guess. For a while he snacked on store-bought cookies, but he no longer likes them (fake food). It is a real dilemma for me, since he mainly eats what I serve him.
    Than take him to a different doctor if you can. Also have you tried plugging his stats into MFP? Maybe what is helping you lose weight at a steady pace, may possibly be too low calorie for his needs.

    I really think a doctors visit is in order and I hope you bring him in. Meantime, see what calorie level MFP says he needs to be at to maintain/gain weight.
  • maureen_30
    maureen_30 Posts: 18 Member
    Please, please, please get a blood work up done on him and a full physical. He is not at a healthy weight for his height and the fact that he is continuing to lose is worrisome.
  • jward199
    jward199 Posts: 7
    He sees his heart doctor every 3-4 months and his regular doctor every 6 months. I think he is ready to see a doctor about the weight loss issue; we just need to find a new one, since we don't trust his regular doctor on this. I'm following the suggestion to track his needs in mfp, and I'm going to make sure he is getting other fats and carbs.

    He told me this morning that he actually started losing weight again 9 months ago when he stopped drinking (again). That is what happened the last time he lost weight drastically; he stopped drinking and started losing weight rapidly. Last time the heart doctors had him on medication for his upper weight of 200; once we got his meds regulated to his new low weight, and after 6 months of Ensure, he was fine. Unfortunately, a couple of years ago he started drinking again. He stopped last August after realizing the alcohol was causing internal bleeding. The bleeding stopped immediately. I didn't realize how much weight he had lost until he weighed himself last week. I guess I just got used to him being skinny.

    This is a complicated issue. I really don't know why I posted my question here rather than talking to a medical professional, except we have a distrust of doctors due to previous issues; I guess I hoped someone had also experienced drastic weight loss and could offer some simple solution that we had overlooked.

    Thank you for all your suggestions.