Body Dysmorphic Disorder

BikeChick

Has anyone heard of this? Maybe not, but I bet almost everyone of us goes through it.
Body dissatisfaction.
We know that the way we feel about ourselves is largely influenced about how we feel about our bodies. If we perceive any flaws in our body, we believe we are flawed overall.
These are some excerpts taken from an article I used in my Sociology class by Melissa Mason.

Preoccupation with physical appearance may permeate into all aspects of her well-being and reduce her ability to appreciate her talents and her individual power.

BODY DISSATISFACTION KEEPS WOMEN (AND MEN) IN SILENT AGONY AND LIMITS THEM FROM EXPERIENCING THEIR OWN LIVES TO THE FULLEST.

Now get this ladies:

The internalization of objectification, termed self-objectification, causes women to view themselves as objects, valued for use by others. This causes women to contribute to their own oppression!

A negative body image acts like a cage that limits women from enjoying the full quality of their lives.

THIS REALLY HIT ME:

The real self, or inner self, contains all the real thoughts and feeling society tells them to repress. The false self is the self exhibited to the world. This self is a reflection of the qualities that are expected by society. As girls continue to use their false self, it overrides their real self and they become disassociated from their selves. Girls then begin to rely on forces outside themselves for self-definition. They receive messages from society about what is expected of them. Topping this list of expectations is attainment of physical beauty that for most girls is OUT OF REACH. The model of perfection, or the ideal woman that is presented to girls is unattainable. Because of this, girls begin to devalue themselves. They pay great attention to their external selves, while ignoring their inner selves. Instead of feeling upset, they feel fat.

Ideal standards of beauty as prescribed by society are restrictive and incredibly hard, if not impossible, to meet. If a woman does not feel she has the ideal body or appearance, she may be reluctant to participate in social activities. Women begin to value themselves less because their inner thighs tough, and become preoccupied with developing their abs instead of developing themselves as individuals.

Beauty becomes the ultimate goal for girls, and intensifies as girls become women.

Arms jiggle, breasts sag, skin wrinkles. Instead of focusing on what she brings to the table, she is focused on how she looks at the table.
She is oppressed.

I think we need to change this. We need to value who we are, despite how we see ourselves in the mirror.
To all that feel this way -

BikeChick

Has anyone heard of this? Maybe not, but I bet almost everyone of us goes through it.
Body dissatisfaction.
We know that the way we feel about ourselves is largely influenced about how we feel about our bodies. If we perceive any flaws in our body, we believe we are flawed overall.
These are some excerpts taken from an article I used in my Sociology class by Melissa Mason.

Preoccupation with physical appearance may permeate into all aspects of her well-being and reduce her ability to appreciate her talents and her individual power.

BODY DISSATISFACTION KEEPS WOMEN (AND MEN) IN SILENT AGONY AND LIMITS THEM FROM EXPERIENCING THEIR OWN LIVES TO THE FULLEST.

Now get this ladies:

The internalization of objectification, termed self-objectification, causes women to view themselves as objects, valued for use by others. This causes women to contribute to their own oppression!

A negative body image acts like a cage that limits women from enjoying the full quality of their lives.

THIS REALLY HIT ME:

The real self, or inner self, contains all the real thoughts and feeling society tells them to repress. The false self is the self exhibited to the world. This self is a reflection of the qualities that are expected by society. As girls continue to use their false self, it overrides their real self and they become disassociated from their selves. Girls then begin to rely on forces outside themselves for self-definition. They receive messages from society about what is expected of them. Topping this list of expectations is attainment of physical beauty that for most girls is OUT OF REACH. The model of perfection, or the ideal woman that is presented to girls is unattainable. Because of this, girls begin to devalue themselves. They pay great attention to their external selves, while ignoring their inner selves. Instead of feeling upset, they feel fat.

Ideal standards of beauty as prescribed by society are restrictive and incredibly hard, if not impossible, to meet. If a woman does not feel she has the ideal body or appearance, she may be reluctant to participate in social activities. Women begin to value themselves less because their inner thighs tough, and become preoccupied with developing their abs instead of developing themselves as individuals.

Beauty becomes the ultimate goal for girls, and intensifies as girls become women.

Arms jiggle, breasts sag, skin wrinkles. Instead of focusing on what she brings to the table, she is focused on how she looks at the table.
She is oppressed.

I think we need to change this. We need to value who we are, despite how we see ourselves in the mirror.
To all that feel this way -

Families_R_Forever

Amen to that!!! I need to really work on this.. Heidi

Smilineyes

I've heard of this. I saw extreme cases of it on Oprah I think. But I do think we all have it to some degree, which is sad. I wish our society was different. That's why I love things like Dove Real Beauty and our new challenge :happy:

cp005e

The internalization of objectification, termed self-objectification, causes women to view themselves as objects, valued for use by others.

The real self, or inner self, contains all the real thoughts and feeling society tells them to repress. The false self is the self exhibited to the world. This self is a reflection of the qualities that are expected by society. As girls continue to use their false self, it overrides their real self and they become disassociated from their selves. Girls then begin to rely on forces outside themselves for self-definition. They receive messages from society about what is expected of them.

This has definitely been an issue for me. Sometimes my disassociation was so extreme that I had no idea how I really felt - just how I was supposed to be feeling. I still struggle with it sometimes. It doesn't all stem from body image, per se (I was never hugely into makeup or clothes or spa treatments - not that there's anything wrong with that!), but it does relate to being constantly bombarded eith representations of women as OBJECT rather than SUBJECT. I was so much more focused on how I was SEEN instead of how I actually WAS - somehow the former seemed more important than the latter. My husband has been very supportive over the years in helping me to reverse this attitude - what I really think and feel is much more important!

BikeChick

I am struggling with this on a daily basis, and only when I read this article did I realize, for my whole life.
I have always considered myself somewhat of a feminist and definitely a strong, rebellious woman that would never allow myself to be brought down by anyone. Yet, I allow my life to be led by how I feel about my body. I also find myself keeping quiet when I have an opinion, and when I'm around men, I have even felt INFERIOR! This makes me furious - but unfortunately it's not as easy as telling yourself "Just knock it off."
I definitely put up a front, and even my closest friends and my family members don't know the whole of me. I think this would be a good place for that kind of support, as well! Support for being YOU!

kak1018

Thank you for bringing up this topic. As the imperfect daughter of a "fashion model" stick thin mother I can really see where a lot of my issues with food and body image come from. I think we need more diversity in shape, size, ethnicity, ect... for all of our "role models" and what we perceive as beauty.

ali106

I totally have this to a small extent...I really don't like what I see most days....and I HATE when people say I'm fishing for compliments if I happen to slip in front of my family like say ugh...when I look in a mirror....and my sister will say you just want to hear your not.....this is sooo far from the truth...I just want to disappear...I'm much much much better these days about it...but omg its a struggle....I know I'm a good person and that makes me feel good about myself...but the image thing....the body thing...yes that's a struggle....I'm feeling better knowing I'm not a lone and its actually much better!

I think it effects so much when you don't like what you see....it makes you want to stay in the background and that's no way to live life....its a struggle but I make myself get out there...lol no matter what I think or feel! lol

hugs! woosh its like therapy in here sometimes!! lol
Ali

FitJoani

wow I always think of something like this as those girls who count out ten almonds and eat a salad then throw it up...I was wrong, this really describes me. I live in a superficial very very very superficial place that places an empasis on a females physical appearance and not much more. It also goes with a post by another member about men who check out other girls in front of thier gf/wives, which can add to the confidence issue. I hate to admit I suffer with this greatly. I spent so much time getting tortured for not being attractive that it has lead to this. WOW I can't believe it at all. I know I need to change and should start working on it.

cp005e

I heard an interview on Fresh Air once with a writer who had been involved with the feminist movement in the 70s, and now has a college-aged daughter. She talked about MySpace and Facebook - how all the girls have profile photos of themselves all dolled up, posed like a fashion model - and the guys just have a beer in their hand and a goofy grin.

And she made a big point about how she isn't against makeup, or plastic surgery, or anything that would help a woman feel better about herself. She just thought it was sad that so many women feel that LOOKING better is the main thing that will help their self-esteem - as opposed to, say, reading the paper everyday, or volunteering, or pursuing a creative interest. I guess that's what I mean when I talk about women being presented as SUBJECT rather than OBJECT - our self-esteem is more defined by how we are seen than by how we feel about our own actions or personal qualities.

But when you've been doing it for so long, it can become easier to focus on living up to an impossible standard than it is to actually face yourself. You know?

songbyrdsweet

It's odd for me to think about this...my #1 hobby, or obsession really, is bodybuilding. Trying to get as lean and muscular as possible. I'm constantly judging myself, constantly appraising what I see in the mirror. In bodybuilding, your worth as a builder is largely determined by how you look...obviously you aren't working hard enough if you aren't making changes and constantly improving. I am never happy with what I see, but it doesn't make me feel bad about myself as an individual. I know I have talents and self-worth, but I am not satisfied with my body in terms of where I want it to be and where I know it can be.

On the other hand, even when I do reach my goal, I won't be the ideal of beauty. My thighs will still touch, my biceps will be as big around as my calves, I'll have a 6 pack, and I'll be able to rep 200lbs on squats. So maybe it's not so bad if I'm just comparing me to myself, rather than some waif supermodel:laugh:

BikeChick

So there is a very thin line. How do we continue our lives without blurring it? I wear make-up, and I try to be fashionable, and (obviously) I am trying hard to lose weight. So can we win, ladies?
Of course every one of us has talents and special characteristics that make us who we are. There shouldn't be any reason that we can't love ourselves inside and allow it to radiate outside through whatever is available to us. Cosmetics, etc.
I definitely have major issues with this. I find myself holding back from so many activities that I thoroughly enjoy for fear of the way I look.
Have you ever observed other women? I do this often, and even some women who are very overweight still seem to move comfortably with their bodies. I have envied this for a long while, and after posting pieces of the article and seeing your responses, I am thrilled (and devastated) that so many others understand what this is like.
I encourage everyone who reads this thread to post a time(s) when they struggled with Body Dissatisfaction.
Just as ali106 said, this is like therapy, but at 0% of the cost!
Maybe by sharing our experiences and allowing them out of ourselves and into the world, we can try to let them go and move on with our goals! :flowerforyou:

ali106

okay Amy ...you asked for it! lol

Well its almost that time where I get like this....figuring out what to wear to work...sigh I hate this part it used to be soooo much easier...or maybe not, because even when I was at my way too skinniest fitting into a girls size 12 pants @ 122lbs, I remember saying...ugh if only my hips weren't so big I look so horrible!:frown:

Now I would never want to be that thin again...not a pretty look for me:noway: but its funny how we remember ourselves having it all together when I was thinner and fit, but if I'm honest w/ myself I was always seeing something wrong w/ me...so sad to really dig into it! ugh...

okay so now I'm dealing w/ being in between sizes....my skirts fit way too big around my waist, and will turn around if I don't pin them...and so I see frumpy when I put these on...and the ones that probably fit better...and show off my shape more I'm horrified at ....no no no I think too much too soon....this is my daily struggle! :grumble:

I wish I could just like what I see....my mind is telling me I'm losing, I can see it but then it has this inner fight like...ya but still not there yet....Where is there? will I ever get there? oh boy too deep for this early LOL

hugs and thanks for the session!!!
Ali :drinker:

lotusfromthemud

The other thing that we all struggle with is after we lose weight we need to "find ourselves" again.

Right now, I have no idea how my body is to other people. I'm pretty physical, I walk everywhere, I dance, I go to the gym, I do yoga. So I spend a lot of time "in" my body. But, I still can't shop for it, don't recognize it in the mirror, and don't realize that it's fit. I knew myself when I was bigger. I was one of those bigger women who carried herself with confidence. Now that I'm smaller, I'm almost embarassed by my body. (this is compounded that my breasts hardly shrank at all, and now they're sort of the "center of attention", if you catch my drift).

I have some clothing fit issues big time. If a pair of jeans fits over my (muscularly large) thighs, they will sag around my *kitten*. If a t-shirt fits my chest, it will be stupid baggy around my now defined (woo-hoo!) waist. Nothing fits what was once the beauty ideal "hourglass" shape, which I now have. Clothing is now made to fit variations on a twelve year old boy. Bleeaaargh. Everything I buy now, I need to factor in additional clothing costs for a tailor, or else it just looks stupid, or will literally fall off my body (pants).

I'll get it figured out eventually. . .

I just think this "re-adjustment period" after weight loss is under-addressed. We're just pretty much sold the lie that being thin will magically make us happy. Sadly, it won't on it's own. We have to love ourselves at whatever size we are.

:flowerforyou:

BikeChick

I agree with that! I read a book once that stated "Life doesn't begin 5 pounds from now."
How true! Life is going on all around us, and when we start focusing on weight loss and how we look, it's easy to forget that. I always felt I was waiting to lose all of that weight, and then my life and the fun would really begin! I still feel that way. No matter what I tell myself.
As far as an adjustment period, that makes perfect sense. Here is what I believe: Many women try very hard to lose weight, and in the process they find that it does not cure everything wrong in their life, relationships, etc. So they gain it back because it is what they know. It is familiar, and they don't have to readjust. If you spend all of your time focusing on your weight, and then start losing it all, what is left to focus on but YOU? Who you really are and where you are going in life. That can be scary! So keeping weight on (sub-consciously) makes it so much easier to push aside those feelings of change and self-discovery. It's a layer of fat and a layer of security. Keeping the world at a distance and yourself with a mission...
This is where everything being mostly psychological comes in. The hardest part isn't doing the work and losing the weight, it's addressing your issues and learning about yourself! Changing your mindset and lifestyle, and accepting the changes that will inevitably come!
Okay Ali, now I'm on the same page as you - I feel better for getting that out!
I hope we can all continue to encourage each other to change the way we think about ourselves - and thus change the way we view our weight loss journeys!

msarro

Yay physiologic and abnormal psych!

There's some really extreme and well documented cases where these disorders can wreak havoc on people. For instance, men and women who are born hermaphroditic, or with ambiguous genitals often have their sex decided by their parents on the spot. However, they don't always choose correctly as to the horemones that will form in the body later in life. So, surgury could make the baby a girl, but later on in life her 'ovaries' begin producing testosterone, making her a boy. Its some really crazy, and sad stuff. This is a more physiological version but the mental aspects are largely the same.

Even worse, there's also cases where people's 'inner self' can actually have fewer limbs, etc. People suffering from that will attempt to 'nullify' the limb - either through self inflicted amputation or through subconsciously putting the limb in dangerous situations.

If these are the extreme cases, it still puts it into perspective how bad it can be for people who feel they should be thin but aren't. Especially since society keeps putting the 'thin is pretty' vibe out.

EDIT: Actually, nm, I re-read through the OP and realized I was a little off topic, sorry! (I saw real self versus 'actual' self and jumped the gun)


Just remember, love yourself. You're amazing no matter how you look. As soon as you love yourself, losing weight, heck, doing anything is a whole lot easier.

ramsam70

I have this, definitely, to a degree. And I LOVE being dolled up. I have always loved make-up and cute clothes (hello Shoes!) and looking great! But I just love the process and never felt I did it for others however, I am always comapring myself and thinking.... I am sure my butt is bigger than hers.... then I feel depressed!

At the gym when I see a mirror my eyes go right to the things I hate on myself, and I actually try to go to the back of the class sometimes, thinking it will make my flaws less obvious to myself....

I know I do these things and over the past year I have made a concious effort to stop, to try to notice a good thing, to try to say positive things to myself and be kind... but I KNOW I forcing myself to do that.
At what point does it become real, and bigger then that, where did I learn this horrible behavior?