Feeling discouraged, not enough hours in the day
milkysmum
Posts: 7 Member
Hi all, am really finding it really hard to lose weight and am getting discouraged. I work freelance from home and also look after my little boy alone most of the time. I genuinely don't see where I can slot more exercise into my day (I tried doing workout dvds while DS played but actually he wanted to join in and thought it was hysterical!) and because I'm always rushing or tired I find I end up eating things I shouldn't. This is a typical day, seriously if anyone has any helpful advice I'd really welcome it as I feel like I'm swimming in a vat of lard at the moment!
7.00-8.30am: check through last night's work and submit it, make DS breakfast and look after him
8.30-9: my breakfast then shower with DS, dress us both
9-1.00pm: either work while DS is at nursery or if it's a non-nursery day we go to playgroup
1-1.30: make/eat lunch for me, DP and DS
1.30-5pm: walk dog with DS, (usually about 1.5 - 2 hours) look after DS - this is also when I have to do any housework, grocery shopping, advance cooking etc. DS is 2 and 'helps' with all tasks.
5-6.30: make DS dinner, put laundry away, bath DS and put him to bed.
6.30-midnight: work. dinner is often some kind of thrown together affair. or takeaway if DP is 'cooking'
midnight-12.30: washing up, putting more laundry on, tidying etc.
I don't know anyone else who has so little time for themselves. The other mums I know all go running, cycling, do circuits etc on an evening but I can't because I have to work. So I do my best to be active in the day and to eat healthily but I do sometimes give in because I'm so goddamned knackered. The weight is coming off but very slowly and I know why but am feeling glum. I need some help to stick to my healthy eating while feeling low - HELP!!!!
7.00-8.30am: check through last night's work and submit it, make DS breakfast and look after him
8.30-9: my breakfast then shower with DS, dress us both
9-1.00pm: either work while DS is at nursery or if it's a non-nursery day we go to playgroup
1-1.30: make/eat lunch for me, DP and DS
1.30-5pm: walk dog with DS, (usually about 1.5 - 2 hours) look after DS - this is also when I have to do any housework, grocery shopping, advance cooking etc. DS is 2 and 'helps' with all tasks.
5-6.30: make DS dinner, put laundry away, bath DS and put him to bed.
6.30-midnight: work. dinner is often some kind of thrown together affair. or takeaway if DP is 'cooking'
midnight-12.30: washing up, putting more laundry on, tidying etc.
I don't know anyone else who has so little time for themselves. The other mums I know all go running, cycling, do circuits etc on an evening but I can't because I have to work. So I do my best to be active in the day and to eat healthily but I do sometimes give in because I'm so goddamned knackered. The weight is coming off but very slowly and I know why but am feeling glum. I need some help to stick to my healthy eating while feeling low - HELP!!!!
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Replies
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Do you log your food? Start there. Second, you have to make time to exercise. Period. The end. It can get difficult with so much going on, trust me. I work full time and have three kids. It can be done!0
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I don't have kids but I do work several jobs. I think the trick for me when I'm busy is to find a way to work in exercise. If I need to go somewhere (grocery store, work, friend's house) I plan ahead and try to allow time to walk or bike instead of drive (better on the car and gas usage anyway).0
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You don't have to exercise at all to lose weight. If you're using MfP properly, your calorie goal is your deficit from maintenance without exercise...meaning if you just hit that calorie goal day in and day out you would lose weight without any exercise whatsoever.
Exercise should be done for the sake of fitness, not weight loss. People tend to over-train (especially if they are already under-trained) because they think they have to do a gazillion hours of exercise 7 days per week...they burn out and get injured, all because they don't take the time to actually learn how all this stuff actually works.0 -
Have you checked tot make sure you are eating in a deficit? If you go to http://iifym.com/iifym-calculator/ and plug all of your information in it will tell you how many calories you need in order to lose weight. Also, you have to weigh all of your food. I didn't think it mattered, but until I started weighing my food, I didn't see a change in the scale. A lot of people believe that exercise is crucial to weight loss, and it is! However, a healthy diet is more crucial than exercise. You can work out all day long, but if you blow your calories on junk food and processed fast foods, you won't see any change at all. If you can't find time to exercise, just do it when you can, and focus more on your healthy eating habits!
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you walk the dog 1.5-2 hours? that is cardio in my book0
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Maybe at night you could prep a few healthy things for the next day. For example you could put together a salad minus the dressing (so it won't get soggy) and cut up some fruit and veggies. That way it is easy to eat a little better. I know it's hard to take time for yourself but if you treat it as mandatory like you would with work and schedule it maybe you can get a couple workouts a week in. You could take your little one for walks which might help.0
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You don't have to exercise at all to lose weight. If you're using MfP properly, your calorie goal is your deficit from maintenance without exercise...meaning if you just hit that calorie goal day in and day out you would lose weight without any exercise whatsoever.
Exercise should be done for the sake of fitness, not weight loss. People tend to over-train (especially if they are already under-trained) because they think they have to do a gazillion hours of exercise 7 days per week...they burn out and get injured, all because they don't take the time to actually learn how all this stuff actually works.
I want the "like" button....0 -
Recently I've been setting my cellphone alarm and getting up at 5:40am and go to the gym. I'm back @ 7am. Take a shower and you're ready to roll for the day. Aiming for every other day workouts.
Honestly, since I've made the switch I DO feel less irritable. I think as Moms (people) we get our aggression out in the form of exercise we're less apt to anger or get sad. At least that's my feeling about it. Maybe cause everyones needs are getting met = including mine.
Feel free to friend me. I'm trying to make an effort on MFP to get plugged in.0 -
Sounds like you work full-time and you are a full-time Mom. Cut yourself some slack. It also sounds like you are getting plenty of exercise in your daily activities (1.5 hour walk every day!?) and not enough rest. The only advice I can give you other than finding more time for rest is to plan your meals and "me" time so you won't be so hungry to just grab and eat whatever. You really have to take care of you. Don't try to be super Mom and do it all. A tired, stressed out Mommy is no fun. So what if laundry waits a day a day. Make DP stay up and fold the clothes once and a while.0
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Wow thanks for all your replies, I didn't expect so many!
I think a few people missed the point a bit though, yes I log and weigh everything, the problem is that some days when I'm exhausted or feeling low I go over my calorie limit. I know I don't eat in deficit every day, that's my problem. Seeing as I can't fit in much more exercise to counteract the extra calories I'm looking for some tips/motivation to avoid extras/naughty stuff.
Blondageh you hit the nail on the head, I work full-time hours spread over each evening (7 days a week) and am also a full time mum apart from the two mornings he is at nursery. The weight I've lost has actually been since he started nursery and I'm certain it's because I'm getting some more sleep than I was (I used to work till 2 am whereas it's only midnight now).
pb053 and runningcampbe yeah we walk loads it's my main form of exercise. We walk to and from playgroup and/or the shops (DS in the buggy), plus we take the dog to the beach every day for a nice long walk and we climb sand dunes then roll down them or we walk and play in the woods, I try to keep active as much as poss and my son is full of beans so the great outdoors suits him perfectly!
Am not eating anything else today as I only have 52 calories left so I'm done, but honestly I'm feeling so blue I just want to scoff the fridge!!0 -
2 year olds are great exercise equipment look on the internet for some mommy and me exercises. I used to put my kids in laundry baskets and swing them around or push them around on the floor. We had tons of fun and laughter and my arms were burning. We also made obstacle courses with blankets and chairs and crawled through them. Enjoy your little boy.0
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I don't think you should deprive yourself for the rest of the day. That can be harmful. Eat dinner and start again tomorrow. I think convenience is key to your food. When I stayed at home I ate often too but I found if I had healthy options that were quick I would choose them. I had to stop buying things I overindulge on such as cheese sticks (I could eat a whole package at once). I've also found logging my food a day or two in advance can be helpful because it's easier to eat what you logged rather than have to change your log.0
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When I'm tired, I eat terribly too. You just have to plan exactly what you're going to eat ahead of time in your log and practice some will power. It's not easy, but it's the only thing that works. If you fail to plan, then plan to fail (I hate that adage, but it's so true.) Why not get a jogging stroller and run with your kid and the dog? Sometimes I wish I had a kid to push in a stroller just for the extra weight/caloric burn.0
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I had to stop buying things I overindulge on such as cheese sticks (I could eat a whole package at once).
THIS!
I stopped buying "junk" food and found better alternatives. My chips are made out of veggies and flax seed, my crackers are multigrain, I keep zero cheese in the house, no cookies, and only keep a secret stash of 100 calorie chocolate bars for when I need it. My boyfriend eats most of the carb foods before I can even get to them so that helps too. But the key is that you are the one grocery shopping, so first of all don't ever grocery shop while hungry! Then, change your shopping habits! Stop buying the bad guilty pleasures and stock up on healthful snacks and awesome salad ingredients. Start reading labels at the store, or get an app like "Fooducate" to help you find healthier alternatives to what you like.
I agree with others who have said you should rest more. Prioritize sleep! That can be a huge factor in your weight loss. And if you are feeling consistently down and depressed then maybe you need to take a look at the big picture and get in some "me" time, do things that are rejuvenating to you, or look into counseling. Mental health has a lot of stigma in this society but it's nothing to be ashamed of and if your mood is interrupting your life then you should talk to someone about it. Been there, done that. It can make the world of a difference.
Also, the mom who posted about swinging her kids around in laundry baskets sounds super fun. There's mom and baby yoga classes and all kinds of stuff you could find if you are really determined to add in more exercise! But as long as you stay in deficit, and keep up the awesome long daily walks, you should be good!0 -
Getting a device like a Fitbit might help you keep track of your steps and calorie burn. I recently got one and it's great. It syncs with a free app and with MFP. Sometimes I burn WAY more than I realized, so it raises my calorie allotment (oh, so THAT'S why I'm hungry), other days I don't burn as much as I would like and it lowers the allotment. It's nice to know how active I've been and it encourages me to move more.
I have a friend who is a mother and she constantly chases after her one-year-old and two older children. She feels guilty because she doesn't have time to exercise but I was at her house the other night, she didn't sit down for more than maybe two minutes at a time! She's thinking about getting a Fitbit.0 -
What is your loss goal set at? If it is 2 lbs/week, lower it to 1.5 or even 1. It will "give back" some cals so you won't go over your limit so much and will remove that feeling of discouragement.
Can your DP watch the little one in the evening or take over some of the household chores after he has gone to bed so you can fit in a workout of 30 minutes every other day?
Any chance you can add some running in? Maybe get a jogging stroller and take the little one and the dog for a jog instead of such a long walk. Or change up the walking routine. If these are ambling type walks, speed them up.
Fitting in the exercise can be a challenge but sometimes you just have to get creative. (carry hand weights while walking to play dates, do lunges while you are walking the dog, etc.)0 -
I am pretty busy, too, though I don't have a small child anymore. What do you think about taking your son with you on walks or otherwise incorporating his presence into an exercise routine? You're getting exercise and setting an excellent example at the same time. Exercising 30 minutes a day will significantly increase not only your health but your overall state of mind.
ETA, I missed the part where you walk the dogs for 1.5 hours. Could you shorten that and spend some of that time doing other exercise or increase the intensity of the walks? Also, that's totally exercise! Don't sell yourself short.0 -
Can your DP watch the little one in the evening or take over some of the household chores after he has gone to bed so you can fit in a workout of 30 minutes every other day?
This may be a major key.....
I hope this does not sound judgmental, because I do not mean for it to at all, but does your "DP" understand that you *already* work a full-time (plus overtime) job caring for DS, the household, shopping, meal prep, laundry, etc. etc. etc. etc.? I guess I am just curious as to why you are expected to work a 2nd (or maybe it'd be better to say a THIRD) job being a freelancer. Does your hubby also hold two jobs? If not, why not?
I ask because I remember my father telling me a story that apparently took place when my sister and i were little girls. My parents were young at that time, not even yet 30 years old, and my mother was a stay at home mom. Sometimes when my father would come home, dinner would not yet be ready and the house would be messy. He hated this and would get upset with my mother. One day he basically asked her "what in the world she did all day long anyway?"....so she asked him if he'd like her to write down her daily tasks, line-by-line, hour-by-hour, for him. He said that was a great idea (thinking he'd catch her in being "lazy"). When he came home that night, and got to the THIRD page of breakfast and laundry and naps and bills and one little girl vomiting while the other one ate the plants and then the other had to be changed and bathed and.... (which only got her to about 11:00am), he looked a little pale and just said, "I'm sorry".
I'm not saying your hubby thinks you're lazy at all - I just wonder if he truly grasps the magnitude of everything you have to accomplish. In my opinion, if you don't have time to do even the basic things your body needs to survive, such as sleep and exercise, then there is an imbalance in the family responsibilities and this needs to be corrected.
I'd just like to add in closing that my father, who is now approaching 70 years old, now nannies my 2.5 year old niece while my sister works. lol. There have been times when I've called him during the day when he answers out of breath and says, "I have to call you back...she just pee'd on the floor and is running through the house with no pants on". hahaaa!!! Oh, karma.0 -
Sit ups & pushups while watching tv.
Running instead of walking with the dog.
that should be plenty of excersice to get you going.
Calorie deficit help: don't buy garbage foods. don't go into the kitchen except at meal time.0 -
I think a few people missed the point a bit though, yes I log and weigh everything, the problem is that some days when I'm exhausted or feeling low I go over my calorie limit. I know I don't eat in deficit every day, that's my problem. Seeing as I can't fit in much more exercise to counteract the extra calories I'm looking for some tips/motivation to avoid extras/naughty stuff.
Your profile says that you joined MFP in March 2014, and your ticker says that you've lost 8 lb. That's good progress in 2 months (or 3, if you joined March 1). That's 0.7-1 lb./week, which is a good, healthy weight loss rate.
If that's an accurate report on your progress, I'd say that you're doing great, and that you shouldn't beat yourself up if you sometimes go over your goal. I treat my goal as a weekly average; some days I go over, and some days I'm under. As long as it balances out in the long run, I'm happy.
Good luck, and don't be to hard on yourself if you're actually making progress. The people who need to be hard on themselves are those who've been on the site for months or years but who haven't lost weight despite supposedly running a significant calorie deficit every day.0 -
Getting a device like a Fitbit might help you keep track of your steps and calorie burn. I recently got one and it's great. It syncs with a free app and with MFP. Sometimes I burn WAY more than I realized, so it raises my calorie allotment (oh, so THAT'S why I'm hungry), other days I don't burn as much as I would like and it lowers the allotment. It's nice to know how active I've been and it encourages me to move more.
I have a friend who is a mother and she constantly chases after her one-year-old and two older children. She feels guilty because she doesn't have time to exercise but I was at her house the other night, she didn't sit down for more than maybe two minutes at a time! She's thinking about getting a Fitbit.
This! Yes yes yes! I am actually walking right now so I can't type more, but I earn ~300 cal a day just from walking with my kid in the stroller! You'd be surprised how fast it adds up! I love my fitbit!0 -
I have one week where I work 72 hours (3x12 on days and 3x12 on nights) in addition to 1 hour drive each way. I will eat anything when I am tired and hungry and lots of it. The only way I get thru this is to set aside an hour or two to portion healthy food. I slice a cucumber, radish and oranges and put them in baggies in the fridge for lunches. Each pack is about 100 calories and quick to grab because when I am tired I want no preparation time between me and my food so I can get some sleep. The time it takes to prepare the grab & go packs is well worth it. Do yourself like you do the 2 year old, sometimes dry Cheerios are a perfect snack.0
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I work from home also. Maybe try what I do- get up at 6 am and work out early. I also prep my food for the next day in Tupperware!0
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Thanks all am feeling much better, I think I was just having a few blue days, am usually quite a positive person! Really appreciate everyone who took time to reply to me.
Am totally getting a fitbit, they sound great, my birthday is coming up so fingers crossed...
bwogilvie thank you, I actually cried a bit reading you say I was doing ok! Yes I joined mid march and have lost 11 lbs, am actually really pleased I think I maybe expect too much of myself along with everything else on my plate (pardon the pun)
I have managed to fit in a 5 minute Shaun T workout now hopefully every day and have incorporated dance time into our day. My DS has chicken pox at the moment so were stuck in a bit but we managed to go to the field at the end of the road a couple of times this week and pretend to be aeroplanes and run round with the dog, which was fun I love the idea of pushing him round in a basket, he would love that!
(Oh and "Sit-ups and push-ups while watching tv"? At what point do you think I watch tv???)0
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