Old pics depressing, but motivating

SnatchPosse

I was visiting family this weekend and looking at lots of old pictures. I'm almost 40 and for the first time I saw how absurd it was that I thought I was fat when those pictures were taken. It was depressing looking at those pictures now that I actually need to lose almost 50 lbs, but when I lose this weight, maybe I'll finally be realistic about how I look. That alone would make this struggle worthwhile. I'm wondering if anyone else has had this experience and did they notice a difference after they lost excess weight?

NaturalAlyse

Hi! I am almost 30 and have the same sort of feeling. My real body issues started when I was a little girl and got horribly difficult through high school. I look back on the pictures from then (I am most certainly much bigger now) and realize that I could have enjoyed my size at that point because I wasn't THAT BIG. There were even points in time when I was well within the 'average' range for my age and I didn't even know it. That's depressing to me because I think, if I had been able to appreciate it back then I may not have gotten to where I am today. I have 100+ pounds to lose and it is slow going.
The problem with this is that I don't think we will ever be realistic about how we look. Psychologically, once we believe that we are fat, we will always believe it. It feels like a form of Body Dysmorphic, no matter how much weight is lost, we still look in the mirror and see fat.
When I was in my early 20s I was actually really committed to being healthy and losing weight. I went to the gym constantly, ate healthy, biked four miles a day, etc. Things I can't imagine doing right now in my life and am surprised I was even able to do then. I was probably 75lbs lighter, but still 'overweight'. I felt fantastic, which is what really mattered to me. I could tell that I had lost a ton of weight but I still saw myself as a Fat Woman. Looking back on those pictures is what has me motivated and depressed all at once. I looked great, felt great, and wasn't able to keep it up. I want to get back there, but I'm depressed about the fact that I didn't appreciate how good it felt and wasn't able to stick with it. Fat has been my identity for so long, though, that it was hard to let go of and I fell right back into it over the years. It's almost a self-fulfilling prophecy, and I think the way that we view ourselves is the biggest struggle with losing weight and keeping it off.

bear2303

ugh yes... I was looking at some old pictures from when I was about 135 pounds and remembering that I thought i was ssoooo heavy! Insane! Now that is my goal weight and its still a long ways away! I hope that when I reach that weight I won't think i need to be 110 pounds.

SnatchPosse

ugh yes... I was looking at some old pictures from when I was about 135 pounds and remembering that I thought i was ssoooo heavy! Insane! Now that is my goal weight and its still a long ways away! I hope that when I reach that weight I won't think i need to be 110 pounds.

Yup-that was exactly me. I joined weight watchers when I was 20 years old and 120lbs. My weight for most of my adult life was 130-135 and I was never happy with it. Now I'm just hoping to get back to that range. I'm headed in the right direction, but it's frustrating.

SnatchPosse

Hi! I am almost 30 and have the same sort of feeling. My real body issues started when I was a little girl and got horribly difficult through high school. I look back on the pictures from then (I am most certainly much bigger now) and realize that I could have enjoyed my size at that point because I wasn't THAT BIG. There were even points in time when I was well within the 'average' range for my age and I didn't even know it. That's depressing to me because I think, if I had been able to appreciate it back then I may not have gotten to where I am today. I have 100+ pounds to lose and it is slow going.
The problem with this is that I don't think we will ever be realistic about how we look. Psychologically, once we believe that we are fat, we will always believe it. It feels like a form of Body Dysmorphic, no matter how much weight is lost, we still look in the mirror and see fat.
When I was in my early 20s I was actually really committed to being healthy and losing weight. I went to the gym constantly, ate healthy, biked four miles a day, etc. Things I can't imagine doing right now in my life and am surprised I was even able to do then. I was probably 75lbs lighter, but still 'overweight'. I felt fantastic, which is what really mattered to me. I could tell that I had lost a ton of weight but I still saw myself as a Fat Woman. Looking back on those pictures is what has me motivated and depressed all at once. I looked great, felt great, and wasn't able to keep it up. I want to get back there, but I'm depressed about the fact that I didn't appreciate how good it felt and wasn't able to stick with it. Fat has been my identity for so long, though, that it was hard to let go of and I fell right back into it over the years. It's almost a self-fulfilling prophecy, and I think the way that we view ourselves is the biggest struggle with losing weight and keeping it off.

Yeah, I don't think I'll ever be happy with my weight but I'm hoping that I'll at least appreciate being thinner. I managed to get down to within 15 lbs of my goal a couple of years ago and I'm making progress now, but I worry that I won't stick with it. One thing that is different this time for me at least is that this time around, I'm not secretly thinking that I'll never get there anyway, so why bother. This site has been really helpful for that since it gives me a chance to see other peoples' success stories. It makes it seem more doable. Patience is hard too. I try not to think ahead about how long it will take, even if I stay on track.

paulawatkins1974

Yep. I am 5'9.5 and I was 130lbs in high school. I always thought I was fat because of the numbers as all my friends who were shorter weighed less. Then, after my first baby I never got back below 140-148 . (not realizing having gained boobs and hips contributed to that) So now, in my mind I was Ginormous! This started the fad diets and all other unhealthy relations with food. I never became anorexic or anything, just went on these lose 10lbs in 3 days diets always to put it back on plus more every time. Fast forward to now, Started here around the end of February at 283 Lbs GOOD LORD what would I have thought of THAT weight back in the day? Now my goal is 160 (maybe lose more later we'll see) And I can't even imagine going back to 130.

rosehips60

I'm going to my 35 year class reunion in August and we were supposed to send 5 pics of milestones from the last 35 years. In the course of finding pictures I looked back at shots of myself in high school and I'm actually in better shape now at 53! A pictiure really is worth a thousand words