Shopping -what a blow to my self esteem!

sheilaq14

I have to go to a baby shower tomorrow for a very close friend and an old neighbor. So all the ladies who watched me grow up as the fat one that I haven't seen since my wedding when I was thinner will be there. Ugh, I have been feeling so great about myself lately, having finally lost the weight I packed on during the last four years having my son and adjusting to being a mom, and working out at the gym 3x week. Until the evil fitting room mirror and all the clothes that fit but looked awful I tried on today. I am now out of women's clothes (tight 20/2X) and can go to the regular section and get 16/XL. But everything still looks like crap! I really wanted to get something pretty for the party tomorrow to celebrate my progress so far but no, not happening. I am really excited for my friend though, she had a long road to get to this baby!

turtlebeth

A bright smile and pride in your accomplishment makes any outfit look awesome! Congrats on your progress to this point!

Veil5577

You should still feel good about yourself. You'll get to your goal with patience. At the party, focus on your friend and how happy you are for her, not how you look to others.

sunflowerbff

I am sorry to hear that you are not finding something special to show off your recent weight loss accomplishment. I really hope that you find something awesome to where somewhere else. No matter what you end up wearing, you are wearing 24 lbs less!! Great job!

kmariet7

Honestly people are going to be excited about seeing you! They aren't going to be worrying about your weight. You are not the only one that has gained weight after marriage and children:) There are some cute clothes out there for size 16 you just have to try a lot on to see what flatters your body the best! I don't know if you are near a Dress Barn but I am quite happy with a dress I found:) Good luck and be proud!

viciouslitany

nope. I refuse.

try another store. try a million stores.

look at yourself and just be like.
"damn, I'm hot as hell. wow, check out my *kitten*."

ranchmimi

My shopping was for graduation - and I thought the clothes situation was just because I am 76 and everything I found was for a 16 tear old! I finally gave up and am going to wear an old dress with a tie in the back - and just tie it tighter! Even though it is large it still looks better than what I found in the stores! Find something in your closet, maybe put a belt on with it - and be proud of the fact that it is big on you now - and have fun at the party!

skippygirlsmom

nope. I refuse.

try another store. try a million stores.

look at yourself and just be like.
"damn, I'm hot as hell. wow, check out my *kitten*."

this ^ Fitting room mirrors are the work of the devil.

_KitKat_

You should be very proud of yourself.

Nobody likes fitting room mirrors and overhead florescent lighting Stop being so hard on yourself. Not sure if your a dress person but empire waist dresses are normally flattering to most body types especially plain or try a wide banded waist dress or shirt with nicely cut slacks. Be proud and don't buy clothes to hide, all they really do is point out the flaws (everyone has) instead.

ETA fit is most important, some brands you may not fit a 16, always buy clothes that fit right.

and

sugarlemonpie

I totally understand, I went shopping yesterday and felt like crap about it! I ended up empty-handed. But hey, just look at it as most motivation! Be happy with the success you've had so far.

Maybe to shake things up, when you're shopping pick up something from your old size and try it on before you try on your current size. Might make you feel better!

TAMayorga

nope. I refuse.

try another store. try a million stores.

look at yourself and just be like.
"damn, I'm hot as hell. wow, check out my *kitten*."

this ^ Fitting room mirrors are the work of the devil.

^^^ This is SO true! I am at maintenance and a trip to the fitting room can set me back many pounds and many months! Congrats on the progress you've made! :flowerforyou:

Edited to clarify: set me back psychologically.

runningagainstmyself

You should feel really proud that you are in the size you are in! That is a huge milestone that you have passed now! Clothes shopping at any size can be frustrating, and I understand that, but please don't put yourself in the mind set that you "look crappy" regardless of the progress that you have made.

PinkInkAngel

Try on something old so you can really see how far you have come, don't loose perspective on your accomplishment.... You just know what you want to look like and where you want to be.... Enjoy being able to fit in your new size clothes and hopefully you find something cute to wear that you feel good in. You will get there, I'm sure you look better than you think you do .

elsie0o0

I need to try on clothes before I buy them and know how heartbreaking it can be to see something really cute that does not work for you. I may try on 20 dresses and only find 2-3 that fit . But you have to keep looking clothing that works for you and makes you feel confident. The way I see it is yes I am overweight, but this dress is also a basically a potato sack that doesn't look good. Don't take it all on yourself, sometimes it's just the clothes!

Claremoak

Be proud of the fact that you had a 24 pound loss and dropped 3 dress sizes! That is an accomplishment someone will notice.

It took me almost 100 pounds off before I went from a 24/3X to a 16. A 14 is just now getting loose after 120 off. (I love shopping for clothes, now)

LFA50

definitely get something new.
wear black - it's slimming and flattering on everybody
invest in some spanx (or something similar) - sucks you in
don't fret - you are doing amazing ! keep up the good work
you probably look better than you think you do.

StaciMarie1974

Try a different style. I have come to the conclusion that regardless of my size certain things may never look good on me. (I tried on bathing suits last weekend - not fun!)

Meranda29

I went shopping last night because all of my summer clothes are snug. I've spent the last few years in denial that I had gained weight and just kept buying the same size and let them all just be tight. Last night I was determined to find something that fit me now, even though I am working to lose weight and ended up having to go up two whole sizes - and you know what? - The clothes two sizes bigger than what I was wearing look sooo much better on me than the size I was wearing. They even make me look slimmer since I'm not stuffed into them.

Don't be distressed because you're having trouble in the fitting room. It honestly happens to all of us.

Have fun at your shower!

sheilaq14

Thanks so much everyone, I feel much better after reading these supportive comments! I went closet shopping and came up with a nice pair of black pants, a fitted turquoise top with 3/4 sleeves and a necklace my son bought me at a craft fair. So I will be fine, the event is not about me anyway and I'm going to try to relax and celebrate with my friend!

StaciMarie1974

I did the same thing late last year. Didn't want to buy new clothes, as I could still (sort of) squeeze into my jeans. Finally did buy a pair a size up to wear on Christmas day, as I wanted to be comfortable. Wearing a size too small (even though I wouldn't admit it) jeans for more than a few hours? NO WAY.

Felt really good a couple of weeks ago to give away all the jeans I got for Christmas & the ones I'd bought in the last 1/2 of 2013. They're all too big!

I went shopping last night because all of my summer clothes are snug. I've spent the last few years in denial that I had gained weight and just kept buying the same size and let them all just be tight. Last night I was determined to find something that fit me now, even though I am working to lose weight and ended up having to go up two whole sizes - and you know what? - The clothes two sizes bigger than what I was wearing look sooo much better on me than the size I was wearing. They even make me look slimmer since I'm not stuffed into them.

Don't be distressed because you're having trouble in the fitting room. It honestly happens to all of us.

Have fun at your shower!

lthames0810

I loathe shopping for that very reason. If I go at a time that I feel good about myself, it just brings me down. If I go at a low time, I end up in tears. But I'm trying to remember if I ever liked what I saw in the dressing room mirror, even when I was slim.

This is too late for your current situation, I know, but I have found that the absolute worst shopping experiences occur when I'm under pressure to find something for a specific event. I procrastinate, then when I finally go, I have to pick something even if I don't like it very much. The answer, and I'm trying to do this myself, is to go to the stores on a regular basis and just try stuff on. You don't have to buy anything if it doesn't suit you, but if by chance you really like something, buy it. Even if you don't have a specific event on the horizon, you know you will eventually need a nicer outfit and you can have it altered if you (yay!) lose more weight before you ever need it.

Incredibly, my husband is all in favor of this approach. He has had to deal with the emotional wreckage that results from my usual last minute suffer fests. He's actually happy to know that I went shopping and even happier if I come home with something new.

seltzermint555

wear black - it's slimming and flattering on everybody
invest in some spanx (or something similar) - sucks you in

no. Black with Spanx under it in May/June??

bergpa

Try a different style. I have come to the conclusion that regardless of my size certain things may never look good on me. (I tried on bathing suits last weekend - not fun!)

Yes - try different stores, styles, fabrics and/or colors. You may find that you look better in clothes you wouldn't have considered in the past.

MissShancey1

try some kind of flowing spring time dress that cuts off at the knee and maybe something covering your arms

albayin

I usually do this in my own closet. I have a lot of clothes...some are old but in smaller sizes which I use a "tape measure". Some day when I feel leaner or lighter, I put them on.. and then...:brokenheart:

jeanstudies

I am now out of women's clothes (tight 20/2X) and can go to the regular section and get 16/XL.

I am SOOOO envious of you right now! I am still in 2X and 3X and I yearn to get back to the days of 16/XL. It may be that, as some have suggested, you will have to try shopping in different stores until you find one that fits your (new!) shape better. Different companies tend to make different fits. I really like Fashion Bug but they closed all their stores that are near me.

It sounds like you got a very cute outfit which will make you more able to concentrate on your friend. Keep up the GREAT work, you are doing fine!

sherambler

just a thought, but if you have an old dress you like, you could always use some thread, a needle, or some pins and pull some of the extra fabric to the back, make a sort of pleat down your back and wear a sweater to cover it up. I've done this when I'm inbetween sizes. It could show off your new body and you can sort of customize the dress to fit you in all the right places. It shouldn't take any more than 15-20 mins or so.

Dian1701

Go outside your comfort zone. Styles that looked good on you before, may not be right for you now. We don't loose our weight uniformly around our body. Go for styles that you never would have touched before. Try colors and combinations that, at first glance make you wince with the thought of you in them. You'd be surprised at what, a year ago, would have looked horrid on you, now flatters. Every size lost is an opportunity to reinvent your look. Embrace it.

Nedra19455

Maybe to shake things up, when you're shopping pick up something from your old size and try it on before you try on your current size. Might make you feel better!

Very true! This happened to me this week. I was having trouble finding tank tops that looked good and I tried on a tank in my old size (XXL) because it was on clearance and I figured for 4.99 it would probably be fine. Boy was I wrong! It was so baggy you could see my bra at the sides even if I didn't lift my arms. I was so shocked! I thought for sure the difference between an XXL and an XL was only "felt" when the XL was too small -- not that the XXL would be truly so baggy it would look bad. It was quite the boost to my ego to be able to need to buy a smaller size for both comfort and because it looks better. That's never happened to me before because until now I've only gained weight, not lost it.

LazSommer

Birthday suit.