"All in moderation."
WanderingPomme
Posts: 601 Member
I know it works for a lot of people. Some may have more self control than others though, I don't.
How the f do you train yourself to have everything in moderation?
I tried this, I bought a loaf of bread which is my ultimate weakness. I told myself I could have some tomorrow or one slice a day. That didn't work. As soon as I got a whiff of that amazing dates and walnut bread, I just had to have it. I had one slice which turned into 2 then it became 5. I could've eaten the whole loaf if I didn't stop myself.
How did you go about having your favorite things "in moderation"?
How the f do you train yourself to have everything in moderation?
I tried this, I bought a loaf of bread which is my ultimate weakness. I told myself I could have some tomorrow or one slice a day. That didn't work. As soon as I got a whiff of that amazing dates and walnut bread, I just had to have it. I had one slice which turned into 2 then it became 5. I could've eaten the whole loaf if I didn't stop myself.
How did you go about having your favorite things "in moderation"?
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Replies
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It's truly a mental thing. For instance if you ABSOLUTELY knew that eating a second slice would leave you sitting on the john for 2 days straight, would you be really willing to risk eating that 2nd slice? Probably not. So why is it so hard right now? Because the consequence of you eating those extra slices aren't "threatening" enough to you to stop. In other words, you're not truly convinced enough that weight loss is that important to you if you're eating that 2nd, 3rd, and 5th slice. Change your mindset, and the rest gets easier.I know it works for a lot of people. Some may have more self control than others though, I don't.
How the f do you train yourself to have everything in moderation?
I tried this, I bought a loaf of bread which is my ultimate weakness. I told myself I could have some tomorrow or one slice a day. That didn't work. As soon as I got a whiff of that amazing dates and walnut bread, I just had to have it. I had one slice which turned into 2 then it became 5. I could've eaten the whole loaf if I didn't stop myself.
How did you go about having your favorite things "in moderation"?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
Honestly...I couldn't do "moderation" at first.
I would eat at a deficit M-F and then eat at a surplus on Saturday while still on a weekly deficit/maintenence so that I COULD have two donuts, or 5 slices of bread...or whatever.
The only reason I can do moderation now is because I work out more and eat at TDEE-10%. Don't ask about today though.0 -
I feel it. I used to be the same way - it was easier for me to just down a bag of chips or something and call it day rather than plan a balanced diet. I was only tracking calories until recently so I'd look at that number at the end of the day and see I hadn't gone over and tell myself it was an alright day. I still have a bit of that behavior left, sometimes I'll just eat half a loaf of bread or some other ridiculous thing since I sometimes only think of the calories. Since I started tracking macros, though, I'll eat a bit of whatever junk food (maybe two slices of bread in a sandwich) and see it totally sabotage my ratios! Completely ruins the fun of junk food when you see what it's doing to your body! So if you're not counting macros, I'd give that a try and see how it works.0
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If it is a trigger food I simply don't keep it in the house. When I am obsessed with a trigger food I try to stay busy or ride my bike to the store and get a small portion. At least that way it is offset some...0
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It's truly a mental thing. For instance if you ABSOLUTELY knew that eating a second slice would leave you sitting on the john for 2 days straight, would you be really willing to risk eating that 2nd slice? Probably not. So why is it so hard right now? Because the consequence of you eating those extra slices aren't "threatening" enough to you to stop. In other words, you're not truly convinced enough that weight loss is that important to you if you're eating that 2nd, 3rd, and 5th slice. Change your mindset, and the rest gets easier.
I think you're right.0 -
I tend to buy things in single serve.
When I get larger things (like, ****, I have pumpkin pie in my fridge), I log the portion and put the rest away before eating.0 -
You have to want to lose weight bad enough that you are willing to kick the binging habit.
It takes a lot of willpower to be successful with this and that's why many fail. I have failed, twice, but I haven't given up.0 -
I used to have this problem, and I fixed it the way you described........ BUT it doesn't happen overnight. Sometimes you have to let yourself binge on the food a few times until it no longer has any power over you. You're not giving yourself enough time.
my cinema popcorn story: (not the only food I had this problem with, but this is the most recent one)
I couldn't put the stuff down... I kept stealing it from my poor kids... one trip I'd eat a crap ton of popcorn, limited only by the fact that as a mother I can't steal *ALL* my kids' popcorn. Anyway, I gave myself permission to eat as much as I liked. I ate a crap ton of popcorn on the next few cinema visits, and adjusted my food intake for the rest of the day to compensate. Then, one trip my daughter handed me some of her popcorn (little sweetheart that she is!) I ate a handful and *didn't want any more*... the whole popcorn eating thing had worked its way out of my system. Since then, I've eaten only small amounts of my kids' popcorn at the cinema, and not wanted to eat more than that.
that's how it works. Giving yourself permission to eat the food means that if you eat more than you planned you *don't* beat yourself up, you just adjust your calories for the rest of the day and carry on as normal. After a while the food loses its novelty value and you don't want to binge on it.
Note: nutritional deficiencies can cause binge eating... if you're not getting enough of something that's in this bread (e.g. if you're eating low carb or something) then binge eating is a survival response and ensuring your body's getting all the nutrients it needs is important to prevent this kind of binge eating....0 -
I followed Breaking Free from Emotional Eating by Geneen Roth. I am now able to have "trigger" foods around the house and not binge on them. Right now in my kitchen I have 4 bags of choc chips, 2 large bags of MnMs, 1 carton of icecream, 2 bags of chips, 5 dozen cookies, a large bag of trail mix and part of a chocolate bar. I haven't binged on any of them. When I do choose to have something, it is in a small amount, such as 1/2 cookie or 5 MnMs, and that small amount satisfies me. I read the book because I was binge eating a lot (for decades) and have emotional eating issues.0
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It's truly a mental thing. For instance if you ABSOLUTELY knew that eating a second slice would leave you sitting on the john for 2 days straight, would you be really willing to risk eating that 2nd slice? Probably not. So why is it so hard right now? Because the consequence of you eating those extra slices aren't "threatening" enough to you to stop. In other words, you're not truly convinced enough that weight loss is that important to you if you're eating that 2nd, 3rd, and 5th slice. Change your mindset, and the rest gets easier.
I couldn't agree more.
The other day I held a package of Oreo cookies in my hands for what seemed like hours. I stared with ravenous eyes at the package. All I could think about was how amazing it'd be to double-stuff my face. But I eventually put the package down and walked away. Why? Because the idea of being fat for a single day longer than I absolutely have to brings me infinitely more displeasure than the pleasure those cookies would provide. To use Niner's term, if the "threat" wasn't so real for me I'd probably be laying on my kitchen floor covered in chocolate dust and bits of cream, deliriously whispering sweet nothings into an empty cookie sleeve in a sugar-induced stupor.0 -
I love love love chocolate chip cookies and ice cream. Ice cream i can do in moderation (most of the time) because i eat it in the evening and i have to get it out of the pint.
cookies are my worst nightmare. Mostly i buy them to just eat the whole sleeve. But what works best for me is when i pack my lunches, i throw in my sandwiches and a cookie last minute and then leave the house. I eat the cookie at 10 am and when i'm home i've forgotten about it.0 -
It's truly a mental thing. For instance if you ABSOLUTELY knew that eating a second slice would leave you sitting on the john for 2 days straight, would you be really willing to risk eating that 2nd slice? Probably not. So why is it so hard right now? Because the consequence of you eating those extra slices aren't "threatening" enough to you to stop. In other words, you're not truly convinced enough that weight loss is that important to you if you're eating that 2nd, 3rd, and 5th slice. Change your mindset, and the rest gets easier.I know it works for a lot of people. Some may have more self control than others though, I don't.
How the f do you train yourself to have everything in moderation?
I tried this, I bought a loaf of bread which is my ultimate weakness. I told myself I could have some tomorrow or one slice a day. That didn't work. As soon as I got a whiff of that amazing dates and walnut bread, I just had to have it. I had one slice which turned into 2 then it became 5. I could've eaten the whole loaf if I didn't stop myself.
How did you go about having your favorite things "in moderation"?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Perfect response0 -
A Clockwork Orange yourself into feeling ill if you have more than one slice, or piece, etc.
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I used to have this problem, and I fixed it the way you described........ BUT it doesn't happen overnight. Sometimes you have to let yourself binge on the food a few times until it no longer has any power over you. You're not giving yourself enough time.
my cinema popcorn story: (not the only food I had this problem with, but this is the most recent one)
I couldn't put the stuff down... I kept stealing it from my poor kids... one trip I'd eat a crap ton of popcorn, limited only by the fact that as a mother I can't steal *ALL* my kids' popcorn. Anyway, I gave myself permission to eat as much as I liked. I ate a crap ton of popcorn on the next few cinema visits, and adjusted my food intake for the rest of the day to compensate. Then, one trip my daughter handed me some of her popcorn (little sweetheart that she is!) I ate a handful and *didn't want any more*... the whole popcorn eating thing had worked its way out of my system. Since then, I've eaten only small amounts of my kids' popcorn at the cinema, and not wanted to eat more than that.
that's how it works. Giving yourself permission to eat the food means that if you eat more than you planned you *don't* beat yourself up, you just adjust your calories for the rest of the day and carry on as normal. After a while the food loses its novelty value and you don't want to binge on it.
Note: nutritional deficiencies can cause binge eating... if you're not getting enough of something that's in this bread (e.g. if you're eating low carb or something) then binge eating is a survival response and ensuring your body's getting all the nutrients it needs is important to prevent this kind of binge eating....
I never realized it, but this is exactly what has happened with me and my trigger foods. Perfectly explained!0 -
With areas that are non-essentials that you have strong cravings for, often it is wise to go "cold turkey" on it for maybe a month or two... Just don't let it in the house... Once you have gone 1-3 months without it, then slowly re-introduce it in moderation... Perhaps it is not as much an issue, it is a lot like alcoholism... An alcoholic cannot drink in moderation... they have to totally eliminate it. Since bread is certainly not in the same class of addiction, you may have to treat it the same way as an alcoholic... However because it is not really an addictive substance, it is likely that you can reintroduce it after a while.
I used to be pretty addicted to chocolate candy but during the first 2-3 months of my journey, I simply did not eat any... now, I can take it or leave it... It does not have the same effect that it once did...
The over-satiation method described above sometimes works as well. If one method does not work for you, then try the other.0 -
Easy to moderate bread, it was my downfall too. Put the loaf in the freezer and in the evenings just take out so many slices you will need for the next day. We do this, just take out enough slices for breakfast and pack-ups. Works perfectly and no more stale bread that gets left forgotten.0
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I understand completely. It's hard. Logging has helped me, because I just don't want to get those numbers wrong. But once in a while I do slip up. If I've had something stressful (and I mean like having my cat put to sleep, not just an annoying commute) it may happen. Sometimes it just feels good to sit there and eat something mindlessly. I find logging very helpful to get me back on track afterwards. (Also, I log the "binge", however embarrassing it might be.)
Good luck!0 -
[/quote] It's truly a mental thing. For instance if you ABSOLUTELY knew that eating a second slice would leave you sitting on the john for 2 days straight, would you be really willing to risk eating that 2nd slice? Probably not. So why is it so hard right now? Because the consequence of you eating those extra slices aren't "threatening" enough to you to stop. In other words, you're not truly convinced enough that weight loss is that important to you if you're eating that 2nd, 3rd, and 5th slice. Change your mindset, and the rest gets easier.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
[/quote]
^This, this, this, this. you will have days where you **** up. It happens. Just remember what you're doing it for.
When I have a trigger food like that I'll throw it in the freezer in single servings. The thawing time makes me really think if I want food because or if I'm hungry. I read a little rule in some old lady magazine or something where one taste is great, two is good, but three is when the food starts to get boring. Kind of thinking like that where it's not a treat after so much will help you. Because after a bit it doesn't taste the same as the first bite. Your brain is bored so you eat just to eat.0 -
You stopped yourself after 5, which means you already have the capability to stop. It's very easy to go through a whole loaf, trust me.I could've eaten the whole loaf if I didn't stop myself.
And I agree with the first poster, it's a mental thing. Once you get past whatever is making you eat like this, you won't need to.0 -
You might also want to look up "abstainers and moderators" on Google, and see which type you are. What works for the one won't necessarily work for the other.0
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It really is a mental thing. It's like a battle with myself which I keep on losing. One day I'll do well but then just fail the next. I want to not deprive myself, I need to not deprive myself thus why I bought trigger food because I don't want it to be a trigger food! I just want it to be food. That's it. I can't keep bread out of the house as people I'm living with eat them and it's very accessible to everyone. I know I should change the way I think, that's what I'm trying to do. I've also tried reaching my saturation point with certain food and it has worked but with bread and pastries, I just cannot seem to get enough. I DO want to lose weight. I want to be confident again but sometimes when I have the bread something takes over and all logic and reasoning go out the drain.
Thank you for the responses everyone! I shall try freezing the bread but knowing me, I'd probably eat it frozen still. Yeah, it's that bad. Lol0 -
I still struggle with it with some things. Work in progress definitely... But I think in the end I'd rather enjoy one slice guilt free than 5 and feel horrible about it, you know?0
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It doesn't mean that you have your trigger foods every day. If bread is your weakness, have a roll or two at dinner out, don't torture yourself by keeping it in the fridge, and don't torture yourself by swearing to never touch the stuff. I'm actually a Nutritrarian, but I still eat my favorite treat foods in moderation. I have crowded out the sweets and processed foods so that I have them much less, but I still indulge on occasion. Also, choose your battles. I'm fine with red meat only once a month, but I have a glass of wine almost daily. A lot of people who say that everything is fine in moderation, don't actually eat everything, they just eat the foods that are worth it to them and work them in responsibly.0
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For me it helps to know that I can have it whenever I want. I eat one serving (or a half serving) of ice cream, since I know I can have it again tomorrow if I want. Also, neadermagnon's post here is great and her example and how it worked was helpful for me when I saw her talk about it in another thread, so I recommend it.
But it's going to be harder with some foods and in some frames of mind, so it's good to be aware of how you feel and why you are eating it too. When I first started this I knew I was using food to deal with emotions, so I did just ban those foods for a couple of weeks to teach myself to find other ways to deal with the emotions/stress besides the food (and that I didn't, in fact, need to eat ice cream out of the pint to do so). Now, I may have it around, but I'm conscious about not reaching for it because I feel bad.
Also, it's really helpful to avoid those patterns of shame and deprivation when you do overeat. If you eat more than you like just log it in (I know you do). It's not the end of the world if you blow your deficit occasionally, but for me it's meant that it really does need to be worth it, and not the more mindless eating.0 -
LOL. Well put. Love the toilet comparison. It IS a mental thing.
It's truly a mental thing. For instance if you ABSOLUTELY knew that eating a second slice would leave you sitting on the john for 2 days straight, would you be really willing to risk eating that 2nd slice? Probably not. So why is it so hard right now? Because the consequence of you eating those extra slices aren't "threatening" enough to you to stop. In other words, you're not truly convinced enough that weight loss is that important to you if you're eating that 2nd, 3rd, and 5th slice. Change your mindset, and the rest gets easier.I know it works for a lot of people. Some may have more self control than others though, I don't.
How the f do you train yourself to have everything in moderation?
I tried this, I bought a loaf of bread which is my ultimate weakness. I told myself I could have some tomorrow or one slice a day. That didn't work. As soon as I got a whiff of that amazing dates and walnut bread, I just had to have it. I had one slice which turned into 2 then it became 5. I could've eaten the whole loaf if I didn't stop myself.
How did you go about having your favorite things "in moderation"?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
OP: decide what works for you. It may be "moderation", and it may be substitution...or something else. You'll figure it out. (hint: I'd avoid food as a reward for working out.)0 -
It became easier for me when I realized that weight loss and maintenance is important to me. One of my many weaknesses are the tortilla chips and dip at mexican food restaurants. My fajitas aren't bad at all, chicken in tortillas is easy to fit into my calorie goals for the day. But those chips that have 140 calories in 7 of them! I normally want to just keep grabbing and grabbing from that basket. I've found it much easier to control that by putting 7 on my napkin or on an extra plate and just eating those. And reminding myself that 7 extra trips is not worth the way I'll feel when the end of the day comes and I've over in calories.0
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Tortilla chips are my weakness too. I allow myself some at mexican restaurants, but try to keep them out of the house!It became easier for me when I realized that weight loss and maintenance is important to me. One of my many weaknesses are the tortilla chips and dip at mexican food restaurants. My fajitas aren't bad at all, chicken in tortillas is easy to fit into my calorie goals for the day. But those chips that have 140 calories in 7 of them! I normally want to just keep grabbing and grabbing from that basket. I've found it much easier to control that by putting 7 on my napkin or on an extra plate and just eating those. And reminding myself that 7 extra trips is not worth the way I'll feel when the end of the day comes and I've over in calories.0 -
Tortilla chips are my weakness too. I allow myself some at mexican restaurants, but try to keep them out of the house!It became easier for me when I realized that weight loss and maintenance is important to me. One of my many weaknesses are the tortilla chips and dip at mexican food restaurants. My fajitas aren't bad at all, chicken in tortillas is easy to fit into my calorie goals for the day. But those chips that have 140 calories in 7 of them! I normally want to just keep grabbing and grabbing from that basket. I've found it much easier to control that by putting 7 on my napkin or on an extra plate and just eating those. And reminding myself that 7 extra trips is not worth the way I'll feel when the end of the day comes and I've over in calories.
Yes, definitely not in the house! But as I said, it is a little easier if you pre-measure out the portion size. Those baskets are so non-threatening, but so easy to get carried away in! lol0 -
But I eventually put the package down and walked away. Why? Because the idea of being fat for a single day longer than I absolutely have to brings me infinitely more displeasure than the pleasure those cookies would provide.
This. 100% This. I HATED how I felt when I was heavy. I hated that family members felt making negative comments about my body was acceptable. I hated how I looked in the mirror. And I had no one to blame but myself and my own lack of control.
How I eat in moderation: I visualize what I will look like when I reach my goal weight every single night before I go to sleep. I lay there for about 10 minutes and picture smaller-self doing various activities, engaging with people, trying on clothes, etc. And when that urge to eat an entire bag of chips sweeps up on me, I reflect back to how miserable I was when I was heavier, and how I feel now, and then I bring forth the future me, and she's all like, "Put those DAMNED chips down, Woman! NOT ONE DAY FATTER THAN YOU HAVE TO BE." And I relinquish my firm, trembling grasp of the chips, and walk away. I am 15 pounds away from my goal weight. Future Me is so proud of Present Me.
So yeah. Is it a little crazy? Probably. But that's how I roll, yo.0 -
I'm a puzzle fan. I love puzzles. And organizing things. I love to see the way things fit together.
Which, I think, is why this site is a good fit for me. I like to see the way my food choices add up together.
So I might have that one slice of yummy bread and log it. And look at what it does to my totals for the day. Then if I'm really wanting another slice, I'll add that to my diary and see where it puts me. If I am still going to be 'under' for the day, I'll go for it. If it just puts me a little bit 'over' I'll think about it. Most of the time I'll go ahead and let myself go a little bit 'over' if it's something I really really want.
But I do enjoy looking at those numbers and sometimes I'll just play around with the logging and enter one slice, then enter two, then enter three. And then compare those totals. For me, seeing the jump in numbers makes the decision-making process more real.0
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