Regaining my life

tmo39

Hi everyone. I'm new to this site but hope to find great support and advice here. I also hope to be able to contribute, encourage and support others.

I am a 42 year old single mother of 3. I was married for 13 years but it ended very badly. I have been divorced for the past 10 years (early April was the 10 year anniversary of my getting free of an abusive and drug addicted spouse). The first few years were a real struggle - emotionally, financially, mentally, physically... in every way possible. It took several years to get on my feet to support myself and my kids. I can proudly say we have succeeded. I have 3 terrific kids! A son that is a sophomore in college. A son that is a senior in high school (currently looking at colleges). A daughter that is a sophomore in high school. I work full time as a Chief Financial Officer & Human Resources Director. I also do consulting, accounting, bookkeeping and taxes on the side. Most of my days consist of meetings or behind my desk at a computer - mentally challenging but not physically.

I have hid behind my weight for years. It has been a way to keep people from getting to close. I have a lot of good friends, I am a friendly, fun and outgoing person. But I maintain my guard and keep my walls up. Very few people would I consider to be "close" and to know me personally.

At the end of April, I decided I wanted to make some life changes. I want to be happier! I want to feel better! Step one for me was confronting a family member that had always been a bully to me and I had never stood up to. I wrote a lengthy letter and then meet with this person and was able to say my peace. We no longer speak and probably never will again. But he no longer has ANY control on my life, how I feel, what I think, etc. It was a major chain to break for me and felt like 100 lbs off my shoulders. So April was a good month - celebrated 10 years of independence AND 42 years of not speaking up for myself!!

The beginning of May I decided to join a gym and start working out. My daughter and I go at least 3 times a week. I actually enjoy going - lol. (I find that to be funny) Last week I quit smoking. I wasn't a 2 pack a day smoker... more like 2 packs a week, but never the less I decided to quit. It is 7 days smoke free today!! This has been a rough week with nicotine withdrawal, but yesterday and today have been much better. So May has also been a good month - joining a gym AND quit smoking!!

So now I find myself looking at this website and thinking that joining a support group like this might be very helpful. I'm not looking to become a bathing suit model or compete in fitness competitions. I just want to get my life back. I want to enjoy life. I want to improve my help. I want to feel better about myself. I want to look better. I have proven to myself that I can financially overcome starting at zero at 32 with 3 children. I have proven to myself that I can overcome the emotional side of my past and confront my biggest fears. I believe that I have been successful as a mother and in my professional life. The one thing in my life that I don't take care of is myself.... I'm ready to change that. I WANT to loose weight! I WANT to get in shape! I WANT to feel good! This is my first step in that direction.

Any advice, suggestions, comments would be greatly appreciated. I have tried to diet before but it has never worked. This time it's not a diet I want. It is a change in lifestyle. I have dealt with all my skeletons and I'm ready!

Thanks for reading, sorry I get long winded sometimes

SteampunkSongbird

I'm sorry for you that you've been through so much difficulty, but well bloody done for taking control of your life, it's never too late to do it and you've made fantastic headway already! Not allowing yourself to be bullied is a very hard thing to do when you're normally not of a disposition to speak up, and although it can hurt losing friends or family, if they are toxic to your life then you must know you are doing the right thing. Trying to quit smoking is an excellent step towards improving your health too! It's fab that you go to the gym already, and with your daughter to boot, having a gym buddy can help the gym environment feel less intimidating.

A change in lifestyle is exactly what you're doing, and you seem very determined, so I think you'll do very well because you're going to give it your all. Log everything honestly, weigh your food for best accuracy, have a treat when you want to, stick within your daily calories and keep up the exercise. You'll see results and hopefully feel great about yourself. You deserve it! Best of luck!

seebachl

Congratulations on quitting smoking and regaining your life. My husband quit smoking several years ago and is so glad he did. It wasn't easy, but it was so worth it.