Complimenting weight loss

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Magoo065
Magoo065 Posts: 11 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
A woman I know has lost a significant amount of weight. She's kind of sensitive, so I don't want to offend her, but I do want to acknowledge what she's done. I just don't want to make her feel like I thought she needed to lose it, or end up saying something that people think is "skinny shaming."

How would you like to be complimented on your significant weight loss?

Replies

  • LoupGarouTFTs
    LoupGarouTFTs Posts: 916 Member
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    Wow, you look terrific! Is that a new outfit?!
  • rebprest
    rebprest Posts: 149 Member
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    "You look great, by the way" is really all anyone ever needs to say about weight loss unless they are invited to say more or are having a conversation brought up by the weight loser about it. At least, in my opinion.
  • IndigoFlowers
    IndigoFlowers Posts: 221 Member
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    I do not want to be complimented on my weight loss!!! There's more interesting things to talk about than my weight. :laugh:
  • runningagainstmyself
    runningagainstmyself Posts: 616 Member
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    I do not want to be complimented on my weight loss!!! There's more interesting things to talk about than my weight. :laugh:

    ^^^ This.
  • CA_Underdog
    CA_Underdog Posts: 733 Member
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    +1. I also prefer no one mention my weight loss. If you want to compliment me or my new clothes, cool! When others are monitoring your weight, it makes you especially self-conscious when you regain.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
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    "You look great!"
  • tedrickp
    tedrickp Posts: 1,229 Member
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    "You look great!"

    This.
  • LoupGarouTFTs
    LoupGarouTFTs Posts: 916 Member
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    +1. I also prefer no one mention my weight loss. If you want to compliment me or my new clothes, cool! When others are monitoring your weight, it makes you especially self-conscious when you regain.

    Why would you plan to regain? But heck, I would love it if someone would compliment me on my weight loss. I've put a lot of work into it and I deserve a little credit.
  • tedrickp
    tedrickp Posts: 1,229 Member
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    +1. I also prefer no one mention my weight loss. If you want to compliment me or my new clothes, cool! When others are monitoring your weight, it makes you especially self-conscious when you regain.

    This seems like a self-defeatist attitude to me. I'm not trying to be a jerk either, but I don't think that would be a mindset conducive to losing a lot of weight (i.e. worrying about what is going to happen when gaining it back).

    I'd also think that when others around you are vested in your weight loss (or show an interest) there is another layer of accountability built in - since often people find it much easier to let themselves down, than the people they care about.

    I totally get where you are coming from though - because I was the same for a long time - but then I realized it was my own issues with receiving compliments, and had to actually work on graciously accepting them. It's worth the effort IMO because being able to acceept a compliment is a valuable life skill IMO - whether it is social or business.
  • CA_Underdog
    CA_Underdog Posts: 733 Member
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    OP: A woman I know has lost a significant amount of weight.
    Me: +1. I also prefer no one mention my weight loss. If you want to compliment me or my new clothes, cool! When others are monitoring your weight, it makes you especially self-conscious when you regain.
    You: Why would you plan to regain?

    Statistically, most regain the weight they lose. So yes, I would consider the possibility of her regaining. A compliment like, "You look great in that outfit" is a safer than "You've lost so much weight!" I mean, especially considering she noted the woman is sensitive, and assuming she may still know her in a couple years.

    I remember how uncomfortable I was around people who had previously complimented me on a 2-year weight loss, when I ended up gaining back the weight. Do I want this weight loss attempt to be permanent? Sure! I can't predict the future, but I do the best I can to plan for my success.
  • CA_Underdog
    CA_Underdog Posts: 733 Member
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    This seems like a self-defeatist attitude to me.
    It's not self-defeating for the OP to realize there's a fair chance the woman she referred to may regain.
    I'd also think that when others around you are vested in your weight loss (or show an interest) there is another layer of accountability built in
    This assumes that lady wants to be accountable to the OP.

    In the business world, I typically do not suggest colleagues or subordinates lose weight. I do offer incentives to join corporate wellness programs. I really want them to join and to succeed! I do compliment them if they bring up their own weight loss or fitness efforts and offer advice if asked. Yes, I will listen to a customer describe their no-(foodgroup) diet and hold my tongue unless asked. ;)
  • LoupGarouTFTs
    LoupGarouTFTs Posts: 916 Member
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    This assumes that lady wants to be accountable to the OP.

    We were not asked about how the individual in question would want to be complimented. We were asked how *we* would want to be complimented. I had assumed that the OP was looking for responses to weigh against her knowledge of the individual in question and use the "best" response.
  • CA_Underdog
    CA_Underdog Posts: 733 Member
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    I offered my opinion in the first post, based on my own experiences. I am responding to, "Why would you plan to regain?" and "This seems like a self-defeatist attitude to me."

    I've made good progress and certainly haven't thrown my hands up on weight-loss. ;)

    Still, I'm not yet 100% confident I will keep it off my whole life.

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