Meeting the Parents...

saranne1015

ok, so i have a weird question. "lemme 'splain. no, there is too much; lemme sum up":

my boyfriend is graduating from grad school in two weeks and his family is coming up to see him. at first, it was just his brother that was coming. now it's his sister, brother-in-law, niece, grandparents, and parents. so what was going to be a simple meet-and-greet with his younger brother has now turned into a meet-and-greet/brutal interrogation session with his entire (nuclear) family. i am pretty nervous to meet them for a few reasons: only his brother speaks english; his grandparents are VERY catholic and traditional, and i am neither of those things; meeting the family in his area of his country, according to him, is tantamount to an engagement announcement...we're pretty serious, but...yikes.

i'm a little freaked out.

anyway, i was wondering if anyone had any advice about meeting potential future in-laws? i'm sure it's mostly common sense, but i don't know...is there anything i should do in particular? i mean, i'm not planning on burping in anyone's face and then burning the flag, or anything, i don't think... also, if you have any advice about making stern mexican grandmothers like you, please pass it along. thanks in advance =/

jennifer_417

Oi, ya got me there...I don't know.

I'll give the general advice you'll probably hear from everyone else, though. Just be yourself. They will either like you or not. Either way, it's not worth trying to be something/someone you aren't. The best way to make a good impression is to be yourself, because you'll be most comfortable that way.

Oi_Sunshine

Dress appropriately and don't swear, or use God, Jesus, Christ, etc. as an exclamation and you should get along just fine. Good luck!

bloodyhonest

Know all of their names, that will impress them.

wheird

Act appropriately?

Ulfgard

Do not think of this as them interviewing you. Use this as an opportunity to interview them. See how he interacts with his family and how they interact with each other. If his family is going to be a problem its better to run now before any possible marriage or kids come along.

saranne1015

thanks, everyone! lots of good advice! appreciate it!

SunofaBeach14

Smile, be polite, don't say much, treat your boyfriend especially well in front of his family, and realize that if you do stick with him that you'll be dealing with his family quite a bit, so make the most of it.

CaddieMay

Just be warm and kind, listen instead of talking. shower your BF with attention and be attentive to him. That way his parents/grandparents will see how well you treat him and how happy he is to be with you.

I hate to say it but if they are very traditional, mexican, and religious, the man is the center of the household, treat him as such, at least around the in laws.

I am not saying to lose any femenist values you have, you just may have to tone it down a bit to make his family happy. I would do it for my man if that was what it took.

Good luck.

This is great advice. Also, be warm and kind to the women. Ask them what his favorite foods are and how they make them (mothers love this stuff!). Be curious of what he was like as a child. Families love telling stories like that. Smile a lot. Be tolerant of "their ways" and they are more likely to be tolerant of "your ways." You can be yourself by expanding yourself, you know? And good luck! I am ALWAYS freaked out when I meet a bf's family!

tomatosoup3

be respectful, smile a lot, be friendly! i agree- knowing all their names will make a great impression, it will make them feel important in your eyes and they will like you for it!

saranne1015

thank you, guys! i might end up physically writing all these suggestions down, maybe on my arm or something right before i meet them

MyChocolateDiet

brush up on the traditions and customs if you have time first.

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And order everything in Spanish. And wear every cross you own around your neck. And a sarape. And a mariachi hat. They will LOVE that! And whenever anyone brings you anything or asks you any questions say "See, seniorrrrrrrrrrr!" ...and remember to roll those r's! Oh and knit something at the table. It shows traditionalness forevahhh!

MyChocolateDiet

Oh shoot, right now I am about to be 1 thousand percent serious. Buy a tiny bottle of Tapatio. If this nerve wracking meet up ends up happening at a place with no chile and you see people glaring at their food, especially older one's pull out that tiny bottle and offer it around. It will be like you performed the heimlick maneuver and brought the whole thing back to life. Not. Even. Joking right now.

Oi_Sunshine

Oh shoot, right now I am about to be 1 thousand percent serious. Buy a tiny bottle of Tapatio. If this nerve wracking meet up ends up happening at a place with no chile and you see people glaring at their food, especially older one's pull out that tiny bottle and offer it around. It will be like you performed the heimlick maneuver and brought the whole thing back to life. Not. Even. Joking right now.

I think it would be more impressive if she pulled the mariachi band from her purse.

saranne1015

Oh shoot, right now I am about to be 1 thousand percent serious. Buy a tiny bottle of Tapatio. If this nerve wracking meet up ends up happening at a place with no chile and you see people glaring at their food, especially older one's pull out that tiny bottle and offer it around. It will be like you performed the heimlick maneuver and brought the whole thing back to life. Not. Even. Joking right now.

will sriracha work? because i carry that pretty much everywhere already...