I've lost my motivation :(
JessaAnn407
Posts: 50 Member
Last year I lost 60 pounds, which I feel so much better about. But the sad truth is, I am still morbidly obese. I know this, I've accepted this, and know I need to change it, still. I know I've lost 60, and can keep loosing more. I've recently just moved in with my boyfriend (who tells me daily, as long as I am healthy that's all that matter and he doesn't care about my weight) and started a new job. I am in a brand new state, and don't really know a lot of people. But I've lost my motivation to loose weight. I'm not sure if this even makes sense. I am wondering if anyone has any suggestions on how I can get my motivation back. What has worked for those of you out there! I need help and am out of ideas. Please give me any suggestions you can!
Thank you so much!
Thank you so much!
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Replies
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Look at some before pictures of yourself 50 pounds heavier. Buy healthy foods and makes goals to walk or whatever else you may like to do.0
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What was your motivation last year, and how did you do it? Do you have a target weight/state in mind? Finally, a question from left field - is there anyone close to you who would rather you didn't lose any more weight?0
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It does make sense. But think of how you'll feel 6 months from now... a year from now. Will you feel miserable with yourself? or will you feel proud of yourself from the progress you've made?
Only YOU can answer that question.
Feel free to read a list of my 'excuses' at the following link. I did forget to add that I moved away from all that was familiar. I knew NO ONE! Was alone except my ex. became depressed. YOU can do it!!! :flowerforyou:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1305329-excuses-excuses0 -
Whatever you do, I hope you can get your motivation back...sometimes just focusing on the number on the scale rather than other important things (like how you look, feel, etc now that you've lost some weight) can get boring and dispiriting. How about creating a fitness goal for yourself, like being able to walk a 5K or something like that by the end of the summer. That is not a weight goal in and of itself, but losing more weight will make it much easier and more fun. Is that a possibility for you?0
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mygrl4meee: I already buy pretty healthy foods. It's just getting out and doing things. I think that if I started walking at night to get out that would be a good start! Also looking at trails around here would be fun and something I like to do.
blackcloud13: My motivation was to prove to people I could loose the weight. I wanted to show them that I wasn't lazy and I could do anything a "skinny" person could do. My cousin just had gastric bypass surgery, and has dropped 60 pounds. It did make me a bit jealous that I worked for a year to drop that weight, and she took three months. Now, I understand circumstances are different, but it was still something that made me jealous. I went back to being the "fat" grand-daughter as my grandmother puts it. Not a motivator there, I know. So that very well could be it.
bethany0504, THANK YOU!!! That's sort of how I feel now. I can feel myself getting depressed, and I know if I exercised it would make me feel better, but just can't do it. Thank you for the list, I could relate to some of them. It was a good reminder, that it's up to me to change things!
RunningOnWont, I would love to do a color run, and I should look to see if there are any at the end of the summer. That would be nice to start working towards that. I think even just setting the goal of working out three times a week should be enough to motivate me.
Thank you guys for posting in here. Just having people respond is enough to motivate me! Thank you for the wonderful ideas, and hopefully I will get some motivation back!0 -
OP, i have hills and valleys of motivation, too, and i swear, the one thing that gets my fat butt in gear and working out and counting calories is..."extreme makeover: weight loss edition". i do not like reality TV. i don't like inspirational shows that are full of emotion and hugging...::shudders:: but this show, i'm telling you, every time i watch even 5 mins, i am on my feet, working out. i see them trying so hard, and i think, "i can TOTALLY do that!" sounds stupid, but i really get motivated by other people being motivated.
YOU CAN DO IT!0 -
My suggestion just pick one thing to do consistently. Then the other things will swing in and out as you are able. Me I've found it's exercise. No matter what is going on or where my brain is I get to the gym minimum 3 days a week. I'll go for weeks, months just maintaining and in reality isn't that a good thing for us? I used to loose 40 pounds gain 40 pounds pretty quickly. I've now kept off over 70 pounds for 2 years. I have found my motivation comes in waves of lengths of about 3 months. I'll be right on eating good exercise so motivated. Then I'm bored, I want to quit, I hate music, I hate sweat, but I keep going. Then one day I swing back into I love feeling fit. I love eating clean.0
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Come join us in the couch-to-5K group!
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/groups/home/30-couch-to-5k-running-program-c25k0 -
Do it for YOU, it matters most what YOU think of yourself.0
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I look at the success stories section here and imagine how happy I'll be once I get to my desired weight. You've got to keep in mind that it isn't going to happen over night, but the longer you stick with it NOW, the sooner you'll get there.
Also, join a gym. You can meet some friends that way. :flowerforyou:0 -
JessaAnn, I found new motivation by finding activities and social opportunities at www.meetup.com; it is a free site that groups register on. You type in your location and a distance radius and you get choices you can narrow down by categories. I found a walking group that I'm joining this summer. I find the more socially active I am, the healthier I am. Get out and have some fun!0
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This may sound very strange, but the one thing that helps me going is: Ignore and switch off that little inner voice, and JUST DO IT.
If you have the luxury of being able to do your workout at the same time every day, then when that time comes, just get up and DO IT. Don't think. If your little inner voice comes on - and it will - treat it like that humming background noise of your city, ignore it. Don't listen, don't act upon it, don't argue with it - ignore it.
After your workout, you'll feel so much better, and you'll know it was right to ignore that nagging little voice.
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So I am not sure I ever had motivation...LOL. However, I do have determination. I am determined to be healthier for my kids. I am determined to be less dependent on others for help me with everyday life things I should be able to do. I am determined to see my grandkids someday.
That said it is not easy. I started out at 405 pounds. Following an accident I had 9 surgeries to fix my right leg. I spent 5 years barely able to stand or walk. Then I broke my leg, another surgery. That was it for me I decided I was done with surgery and hospitals. Done with wheelchairs and not being able to clean my own house.
But I still have to force myself to eat right and exercise. With me it is a step by step, a tiny bit more exercise than yesterday thing. I started out just walking from one end of the house to the other. I use a walker now but that's better than the wheelchair. I added in wall push ups, then I got a 5 lb. kettlebell and every time I get up to do something I lift it 10 or 15 times. 3 weeks ago (for the first time in 5 years) I started walking across my yard, up to the barn..1 time a day, then last week I moved it up to 3 times a day. After five years in hospital rooms, rehab facilities and stuck in a room or wheelchair I was petrified to walk for fear of falling.
Is it tough? Hardest thing I have ever done. IF I CAN DO THIS ANYONE CAN!
Oh and I am down to 304--101 pounds gone forever!!!0 -
I had a psychology teacher that happened to have brain injury and can't feel the sensation of motivation anymore. She told us that sticking to a routine whether or not you like it will help you when the going gets tough. She runs five miles every morning and she hates every second of it but she does it anyway. And fyi she is in her 60s. If you just stick with it, it works. That's what I use and I complain the whole time. Complaining seems to help. Just keep trucking. Once it's set as a permanent routine, you'll find it way easier.0
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Do you actually want to lose weight? It's not 100% clear form your OP. If you don't really have a genuine desire to, then nothing anyone says is going to help. If you do want to, then think about the reasons why, and that's your motivation right there. (Just as an example, my reasons to lose weight and now to keep it off are because I want to avoid the health problems that run in my family (heart disease, diabetes etc), because I regularly see how overweight people struggle when they get older, because I didn't like being fat, because I (now) enjoy feeling lean and because I like fitting into smaller clothes. My reasons for exercising regularly are because I want to avoid those health problems, because I know (from experience) that it is a huge part of managing my depression and anxiety, because being able to run long distances makes me feel confident and amazing, because I like how my body has changed from weight lifting, because I want to preserve my muscle mass and bone density, because I like being able to participate in more active activities, and because I like how being active allows me to eat more. Those are just my reasons, you'll have your own, but those are the things that motivate me.
However. Motivation is not enough. Not by a long shot. Motivation gets you started and gives you extra jolts of enthusiasm along the way, but it doesn't get the job done day in, day out. Weight loss is a long, boring process and weight management doesn't end when you reach your goal. It's a life long thing, especially for those of us that have always struggled with weight. There's no way you can expect to feel motivated that whole time. What you need is to make a genuine lifestyle change. Make new habits that you stick to because they are habit. The reasons why are important enough to put the effort in, but making habits is what allows you to just do what you need to do without a second thought.
Do I always feel motivated to go out the door for a run? No, but it's just what I do. Do I always feel motivate to stop by the gym after a hard days' work when I'm tired? Even less so, but it's what I do. I walk out of work, I go to the gym, I go home. In my head, it's really still part of my working day.
What other things do you do in life that are important? Do you go to work every day? Do you always feel motivated to do so? Maybe you're lucky and have that rare job that you get out of bed every day and rush to work excited, but the vast majority of people have at least some days when they really can't be bothered going to work and would rather stay in bed or sit in the sun or whatever. They go to work though, because it's important to them to stay employed, to pay bills etc. It's a non-negotiable thing.
People with children do all kinds of crazy, boring, tedious stuff in the name of raising their children. Not because they feel "motivated" to get up early and pack lunches, or to read the same story over and over again, or stand in a room full of screaming children on a Saturday afternoon for a birthday party... but because their children's health/happiness/wellbeing is important, so that stuff becomes non-negotiable parts of their life.
So... if losing weight, getting fit or whatever is important enough, you have to:
a) work out what you need to do (be it going out for walks 5 times a week, or spending the time logging your food, or resisting the temptation to eat more than you need)
b) Make those things non-negotiable. Stop making excuses to avoid them. Make yourself do them until they become habit.
c) Don't make it harder on yourself than it needs to be. Don't do exercise you hate, don't cut out all your favourite foods, don't cut calories too drastically.
d) Rinse and repeat. Realise that it gets boring, and that it's not something that you do temporarily to get the weight off. Make small, realistic changes that you can live with.
e) If and when things don't go according to plan, just pick yourself up and keep going. Don't fall on/off wagons, don't beat yourself up and "restart", vowing to be perfect this time. Just carry on. If something's not working, make adjustments.
f) And ok, those motivated/excited feelings do help too, so do things where you can set small goals (run faster, walk further, lift heavier, master the quickstep or whatever
), take measurements, take progress photos, learn new skills, try new recipes, and enjoy the process as much as you can.
[and this post always helps me: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/818701-the-myth-of-motivation-and-what-you-need-instead ]0 -
Yes, it does make sense. Start thinking about your reasons for wanting to lose weight and keep them fresh in your mind. You want to lose weight, not for looks, but for life! Read others success stories and offer words of congratulations. I find reading other's success stories makes me believe that I can be there too.0
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I had a psychology teacher that happened to have brain injury and can't feel the sensation of motivation anymore. She told us that sticking to a routine whether or not you like it will help you when the going gets tough. She runs five miles every morning and she hates every second of it but she does it anyway. And fyi she is in her 60s. If you just stick with it, it works. That's what I use and I complain the whole time. Complaining seems to help. Just keep trucking. Once it's set as a permanent routine, you'll find it way easier.
I don't think doing something you hate is the answer either. If I did this, I would fail. Routine is important but so is finding a physical activity that you love. For me, it is cycling. Making the weight management journey a positive experience is the best way for success.0 -
What do you want us to do?
Stay fat if you want to, really up to you.0 -
Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice.
-Wayne Dyer
It's a choice. Time will pass either way.
Read these maybe they will help:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1235566-so-you-re-new-here?hl=so+you're+new+here
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1217573-so-you-want-to-start-running
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/974888-in-place-of-a-road-map-2k13
TL:DR the link right above this one then ->http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/975025-in-place-of-a-road-map-short-n-sweet
If you have 75+ lbs to lose 2 lbs/week is ideal
If you have 40-75 lbs to lose 1.5 lbs/week is ideal
If you have 25-40 lbs to lose 1 lbs/week is ideal
If you have 15 -25 lbs to lose 0.5 to 1.0 lbs/week is ideal
If you have less than 15 lbs to lose 0.5 lbs/week is ideal
Want to lift heavy things?
http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/07/21/meet-staci-your-new-powerlifting-super-hero/
Stronglifts Summary
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/560459-stronglifts-5x5-summary
Stronglifts Womens Group
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/groups/home/4601-stronglifts-5x5-for-women0 -
I blogged about this on here not too long ago:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/Derpes/view/the-motivation-trap-6585390 -
My motivation has ebbed and flowed over the last 10 months using MFP. On the days when I don't feel like Rocky I try to remember how much worse I felt before I started doing this. How walking up some stairs would make me out of breath or how nothing I tried on ever fitted how I wanted it to. I also remind myself of the great health benefits for my heart, lungs and muscles every time I get out there and go for a walk or do 30 minutes of circuit training. Music definitely helps too. Sometimes that is all it takes to fire me up to do a workout and then afterwards I feel great, thanks to those sneaky endorphins, and I remember why I started doing this in the first place.
You lost 60lbs, take a second to pause and celebrate that! Let that be your motivation to carry on. Now go play Eye Of The Tiger. LOUD!0 -
Well done on what you've done so far - that's outstanding!
But imagine if you hadn't. Imagine if you were still on square one....
You're more than half-way there, and you'll get there eventually. Just don't make it slower by quitting 0 -
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I'm gonna start of by saying you should lose weight for you, and it's your body and your health that's important, so screw everyone else's opinions!
But saying that, if you're struggling to keep at it, and if the first wave of motivation came from proving to other that you could do it, why not use that again?
I often get feelings of, aw screw it, maybe I'll just eat 20 burgers and forget the whole thing, but then remind myself of how many people know I'm doing this, and I don't want them to see me put the weight back on and politely ignore it.
You said you've moved to a new area, and don't know many people? Use that to your advantage! You can go out walking and exercising and you won't see anyone you know, so who cares how sweaty and gross you get! Push yourself! If you really stick at it how awesome will it be when you next see someone from home? The people I work with everyday haven't noticed my weightloss much, but when I see someone I haven't seen for a few months they definitely notice!
Also you should keep at least one item of clothing from when you were at your heaviest, preferably one you have a photo of yourself in. Everytime you feel like giving up, put it on and look at the photo and see how far you've come. Might make you think twice!0 -
Also, your cousin has had a gastric bypass. That means they'll never eat normally again. Ever. You on the other hand can! What a great motivator 0
http://youtu.be/lsSC2vx7zFQ
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