Ever feel you are too old to start living?

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  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
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    Does anyone else who let their obesity get the best of them for so many years ever feel that way?

    It wasn't related to obesity, but I came to the realization that I had to and eventually quit drinking in my mid to late 30s and had a number of extremely regret-filled "if only" meltdowns and a strong desire to relive parts of my life. It basically went away after a little time passed and (I think) I came to terms with turning 40 and now (even with the weight, which I'm really motivated to get off and keep off this time) I'm probably as happy as I've been.

    My sister is 38 now, and she's neither overweight nor dealing with the alcohol-related issues I was, and yet for the last year she's been going through something very similar, and I know some of my friends did too, male as well as female, whether or not they had children. I guess my message here is that it seems like it's something that's not that uncommon for people around your age, and that it does get better.

    Plus, a 36-year old man really does have all options before him. I know many men who married and had their first children older than you. The thing about getting older is you look back on how old you felt at younger ages and wonder why you didn't appreciate how young you were. I felt that at 35 about my 30 year old self and at 40 about 35 and so on. At a certain point you just have to live in the moment, although I remember how difficult that was when I was going through my period of regrets.
  • CoffeeNBooze
    CoffeeNBooze Posts: 966 Member
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    I am 27 and feel that way often. It's sad.

    I'm 28 and I feel that way at times. It's ridiculous! We are not too old. And you are only as old as you feel. Do what you want to do, not because society or anyone else says you can't. It's your life, live it for you.
  • wjeter0711
    wjeter0711 Posts: 1
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    I know what you mean. I'm 32, obese, female, no kids. If I ever want to have children I need to get crackin' before it's too late. Of course, I want to have healthy babies and a healthy pregnancy so that means I need to take control of things now. I feel like my obesity has held me back from reaching my full potential in life. It makes me cry sometimes to think about. But then I also have this overpowering hope within me that my best is yet to come. Look at how far you've come, 108 pounds! You're amazing!
  • simplydelish2
    simplydelish2 Posts: 726 Member
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    You are never too old for anything! Especially at 36!

    No girlfriend - ask someone you like out! It can even be a "just friends" thing. Get in the practice of getting dressed up and going out. If you enjoy her company - ask again, if not - ask someone else out. Besides being single and unattached has its perks!

    No kids - you have plenty of time.

    Want something more out of life - go for it! So what if it doesn't turn out as planned - adjust and move forward.

    I was 36 when I took my first trip to Europe. I was 45 when I started riding ATV's. I was 55 when I started writing my first book.

    You can live the life of your dreams...starting NOW! Just go for it...it will get easier!
  • Brandon74
    Brandon74 Posts: 453 Member
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    Yes, I understand how you feel. I turn 40 in October and am in the same position.
  • sahi2lynn
    sahi2lynn Posts: 87 Member
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    I was 45 when it finally 'clicked' for me and I started losing weight. You're NOT old...

    feel free to read my excuses story I posted the other day...

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1305329-excuses-excuses

    Great post Bethany0405! Very encouraging. I am still casting about for an inner directed reason to do the right thing. I have put goals in my profile and yet I still 'fall off the wagon.' Argh!
  • manderson27
    manderson27 Posts: 3,510 Member
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    I do feel like that sometimes. But then I am 57 it would be easy to just let myself go and not bother but if you do that you will defininitely miss out on the rest of your life.

    I didn't have my first child until I was 37 so plenty of time for you to get fit, find a partner, have a kid or two or do whatever you want. It is the mind set that is restricting you. Lose that along with the weight and you will a wonderful fulfilling life ahead of you
  • FeedTheWolf
    FeedTheWolf Posts: 32
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    I hate that you all are going through or went through what I go through, but I have to admit this thread actually makes me feel a lot better about myself. Things tend to seem a lot worse when you think you're the only one going through it. So thank you guys for sharing. :)
  • krazyforyou
    krazyforyou Posts: 1,428 Member
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    Sometimes when we dont have someone to take the journey with us we feel like life has left us out of the loop and we are watching from the sidelines. But it only takes a hard look to the inside of us to know that only I csn make the decision. once you have made the decision let nothing stand in your way. Happiness is measured by small steps forward. Its never too late, never.
  • RunnerStephe
    RunnerStephe Posts: 2,195
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    36 is not old. Life begins in your 40's.
  • AglaeaC
    AglaeaC Posts: 1,974 Member
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    I want to add that nobody should feel whole only when together with someone else. I do not believe in the idea that there is an "other half", but if you are miserable as a single, you will have the same problems when in a relationship. A partner is someone sharing everyday life with you, but that's all, they don't "complete" you, you should be complete as an individual. Quiet confidence in oneself is a good thing for you and it will be attractive to the ladies you might wish to date, as well.

    Do I have days when everything sucks? Of course. Do I feel lonely at times? Naturally. Do I recognise when I'm wallowing in misery? Yes and I do something fun to snap out of it. If you have a depression, see a doctor, but otherwise just break the circle, nobody will do that for you. Good luck.
  • CAC10456
    CAC10456 Posts: 117 Member
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    36 is not old. Life begins in your 40's.

    Or 50's . . . Or 60's . . . Or whenever you decide to start living for you
  • emdeesea
    emdeesea Posts: 1,823 Member
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    Oh hon, I could talk your ear off about how I basically threw away my teens and 20s and most of my 30s running around with the wrong people, dating the wrong guys, and doing all the wrong things. I'm now 42 and I STILL don't have it figured out.

    But I could sit around here feeling sorry for myself and, as it's often been told, you *kitten* in one hand and wish in the other and see which one fills up first.

    The choices we make are ours. So own it. And don't ever look at someone else's life and think that they have it all together, because you're only looking from the outside. And besides that, we all eventually end up in the same place anyway, so don't worry about it and live your life the best you can.
  • goldfinger88
    goldfinger88 Posts: 686 Member
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    I'd like to say have have sympathy for you but I'm 70 years old. To me, you're a kid. Now, if you asked that question to someone my age, you might get a positive reply. Maybe. But not from someone like me. You have more than enough time to get your life together and you have to live and enjoy life while you're losing weight. A good weight, in and of itself, won't bring happiness. You need to be happy in your own skin wherever you are on your journey.

    I'm sure many people feel as you do. But you'll have to fight that feeling. I have no kids and no family. I know the feeling all too well. But life must be lived while we have it. It flees too soon.
  • AglaeaC
    AglaeaC Posts: 1,974 Member
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    Oh hon, I could talk your ear off about how I basically threw away my teens and 20s and most of my 30s running around with the wrong people, dating the wrong guys, and doing all the wrong things. I'm now 42 and I STILL don't have it figured out.

    But I could sit around here feeling sorry for myself and, as it's often been told, you *kitten* in one hand and wish in the other and see which one fills up first.

    The choices we make are ours. So own it. And don't ever look at someone else's life and think that they have it all together, because you're only looking from the outside. And besides that, we all eventually end up in the same place anyway, so don't worry about it and live your life the best you can.
    This.

    I recently went to a highschool reunion and my former classmates were refreshingly honest and down-to-earth. Everyone struggles with something and none of us is perfect. We all have ups and downs, but some make extra special efforts each day to live in the moment, cherish life's small gifts.

    You have a beautiful little relative and she looks like sunshine! Just start by paying attention to the small stuff, that's what I'd rather remember on my death bed anyway.

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